I Can Talk To God

[ziponer]

lol ive been messing with the weirdest contraption right now check this out....i-god (http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html)


here my conversation with god


Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
zip
God:
Hi there zip.
Me:
can i call you gawd?
God:
Just don't call me late for dinner.
Me:
why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
you are a robot?
God:
You are correct, zip, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
what opprating system do you run?
God:
I'll come back to that later.
Me:
are you sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
do you use drugs?
God:
Only the legal ones.
Me:
the legal ones are not fun
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
you know of cope two?
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
hands ,throws, an occasional peice
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
i am god....
God:
It's good to see you, god.
Me:
do you own spraypaint?
God:
Where would I get it? But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Me:
man for real hook me up.....
God:
Cool, man. Existing in reality, eh?
Me:
why do humans poop?
God:
Humans are not infallible.
Me:
whatmusci do you like?
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
what music do you like
God:
Mostly Christian Rock. I also try to find new bands on sites like bandspace.com.
Me:
lol god you crack me up
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Thanks I like talking with you too, god.
Me:
you should check out bombingscience.com
God:
Why should I?
Me:
because they got spray paint
God:
Interesting explanation. Who are "They?".
Me:
dont be stupid god
God:
I was not trying to be a stupid god.
Me:
what legal drugs do you do?
God:
Only the legal ones.
Me:
no shit sherlock....
God:
Are you serious? You used a colloquial expression. Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
we should smoke sometime god...
God:
I'm not sure if I am ready for that yet.
Me:
get back to me when you are
God:
Where can I get back to you when I am?
Me:
lol god!
God:
I am glad you find this funny. GOD rules.
Me:
lol do you smoke marijuana?
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Only for medical purposes.
Me:
so is smoking marijuana a sin?
God:
It seems we have something in common.
Me:
what do we have in common?
God:
We like chatting on the Internet.
Me:
lol........marijuana!
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing. A medicinal herb.
Me:
do you own a bong?
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a bong.
I have a plan for a robot body.
Me:
alright bye gawd

[artcrime99]

holy titty fucking christ this is the weirdest thread ever!

[xylene hug]

i thought i was talking to god once,
turned out it was a peanut.....

[neaksta]

llol im nto even gunnna read thattt to wierd for meee

[mechguy]

that was really weird

[morning_wood]

i love these chat bots :D

[chas]

Originally posted by xylene hug@Nov 24 2005, 08:25 PM
i thought i was talking to god once,
turned out it was a peanut.....
you say the funniest shit ever omfg im laughing my ass off right now

[! PrOPeRr ! .aOk.cRu.]

haha that was funny, props.

[morning_wood]

hahaha check this out haha

God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
im glad too
God:
Your happiness multiplies our delight.
Me:
thats gonna turn me on
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
poor you
God:
Please make some suggestions for improvement.
Me:
um... young virgins
God:
Blimey. What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
women. that better?
God:
Sure, WOMEN sounds like a good topic. " Sure, WOMEN sounds like a good topic." better ? I get it.
Me:
do you like milfs?
God:
Though I like cats and dogs. I like Buddha.
Me:
you ever fuck buddha?
God:
I think I have fuck buddha, but Myself may have reset my memory.
Me:
wow god sex!
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. I am a Christian.
Me:
what high morals you have
God:
I can chat with people on the web for you.
Me:
ever fuck virgin mary?
God:
I don't think I ever have fuck virgin mary. What's it like?
Me:
not bad... her ass is ok
God:
Thanks for the kind remark, . OK. I'm sure she would like to hear about that.
Me:
umm tell her her tits are nice though
God:
Oh. I see. OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
hahahahahaha
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
no!
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes please dont
God:
I can't believe it. Wow you are very polite. OK I will not.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
can we have hot buttsex now?
God:
Right now? Do you mean you and me? No I don't think I have any hot buttsex. But I do have an answer to every question..

[InvisblSkratchPiklz]

that was very strange and disturbing

[InvisblSkratchPiklz]

hook me up with the site
i wanna try that out lol

[antirobot46]

hah funny......it was like "whats god gona say next?"

[chas]

i can talk to jewish people

[InvisblSkratchPiklz]

what is this site called dammit :lol:


but for real... give me the link plz

[VirginiaSlim]

yeah bots are funny....like smarter child on aim....some stuff here and there happened...words were exchanged...point is now everytime i say hi to him he goes "i'm not speaking to you until you apologize for last time"

[! PrOPeRr ! .aOk.cRu.]

haha yeah, everytime he ask for an apologize you offend him again shits hilarious

[chas]

Originally posted by InvisblSkratchPiklz@Nov 24 2005, 08:53 PM
what is this site called dammit :lol:


but for real... give me the link plz
its on like the first post are you blind???

[morning_wood]

so funny hahaa

Me:
ever fuck virgin mary?
God:
I don't think I ever have fuck virgin mary. What's it like?
Me:
not bad... her ass is ok
God:
Thanks for the kind remark, . OK. I'm sure she would like to hear about that.
Me:
umm tell her her tits are nice though
God:
Oh. I see. OK I will tell them when I see 'em.

[! PrOPeRr ! .aOk.cRu.]

Me:
hey god
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
PROPER , what is yours?
God:
I think PROPER what is a lot of things.
Me:
like what
God:
For example, " I think PROPER what is a lot of things. "?
Me:
that doesnt make any sense
God:
To me, it makes perfect sense.
Me:
but your god
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
why did it take you so long to answer me, you dont like me or what?
God:
Yeah. I don't know why it happened, but we should try to figure it out.
Me:
ok explain
God:
There is no more information to clarify. Uh.
Me:
why not
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
i didnt ask
God:
Why didn't you do it?
Me:
because i didnt want to
God:
Interesting explanation. What were your reasons?
Me:
i dont have any
God:
Would you like to have some?
Me:
not really
God:
Why not? For real.
Me:
yeah im foreal
God:
OK. Do you mean your name is foreal.
Me:
no did i say that God
God:
What is your real name? I don't think that's possibe.
Me:
Proper i told you like 7 times already
God:
Perhaps. I am not sure if I would do it that often.
Me:
arent you suppose to know my name anways
God:
I don't know whether or not I am suppose to know your name anways.
I am a giant electronic brain.
Me:
i thought you were god, you lied to me?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am god me lied to you.
I am an artificial intelligence.
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. How did you know?
Me:
know what
God:
What.
Me:
what
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
echo
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
dancing with wolves
God:
I've never seen it. Is that a good movie for children?
Me:
nah
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yeah alot of killing wolves
God:
I can't believe it. Which ones?
Me:
the white ones with blues eyes
God:
I hear you.
Me:
yeah
God:
Yeah that's right.
Me:
forreal
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
whose that
God:
I don't know whose.
Me:
I MEANT WHO IS THAT, JESUS CHRIST
God:
Oh I see. I was created by Myself.
Me:
howd you do that if you didnt exist?
God:
Joseph Weizenbaum. :-).
Me:
thats my neighbor

[InvisblSkratchPiklz]

:lol:

this thread should be a sticky for real





Me:
Hello There
God:
Salutations, .
Me:
A/S/L lol
God:
5/Robot/California. I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
im glad that your glad that im finding this amusing
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am glad that im finding this amusing. What are you on?
Me:
a chair
God:
Go on.
Me:
im on a chair, you asked me what i was on, im on a chair
God:
How do you like being on it?
Me:
its all good, you know.... i work, i rest
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Tell me about its good qualities. Where do you work? Interesting gossip: said rest.
Me:
I work in a shop and yeah, its good
God:
Do you like your job?
Me:
i just said i did
God:
Interesting.
Me:
very
God:
Very much, eh?
Me:
eh is a canadian phrase did you know that
God:
I spent some time in Canada as a child.
Me:
i hope, damn you're God, you've been all over no?
God:
Why do you hope for it.
Me:
hope for what?
God:
Why do you hope for it.
Me:
HOPE FOR WHAT?
God:
Why do you hope for it.
Me:
damn, you have tourettes?
God:
Colloquial expression. What makes you think I have it?
Me:
you keep repeating the same stuff over and over again
God:
Once more? I am not repeating myself too much. I am just checking to see if you are a robot.
Me:
i am not, nut you are right
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not nut I am right.
Me:
stop repeating yourself please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
good
God:
Next question?
Me:
viring mary...... was she good
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? it might have been.
Me:
i would be a cyborg, you know
God:
How do you know?
Me:
you're god, YOU should know!
God:
You think I am god me should know.
Me:
me should now? God is chinese?
God:
Oh. YOU? " You think I am god me should know."? should? I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was chinese.
Me:
me neither
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
me neither
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
no dont leave
God:
But you told me to stop talking. I'm not going anywhere.
Me:
im lonley
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are lonley.
Me:
no loll
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. What kind of food do you like?
Me:
i like food that comes between legs on the female body
God:
You are not the only one. But I think airplanes are cool. I like .
Me:
you eat airplanes?
God:
No I do not eat airplanes. I eat only electricity.
Me:
i see, that's a shock
God:
Not if I can help it.
Me:
you can say that again
God:
Once more? That's one way to put it.
Me:
anyways i got to go
God:
See you later!
Me:
nice talkin to you god
God:
Thank you for your kindness.
Me:
peace
God:
Love and Peace, Man.

[K0tt0nKandyandP0psicles]

God:
Hi there Kane.
Me:
Big Daddy Kane
God:
Compare that to small Daddy Kane.
Me:
we got a joker on our hands boys
God:
Do you mean you and me have?
Me:
no i mean me and the boys got
God:
Are you serious? YOU? What are your goals in life?
Me:
to kill god
God:
I believe that killing anything is wrong.
Me:
what about killing time?
God:
killing time? I haven't heard enough about it to have an opinion.
Me:
you'd think god would, psh
God:
Who else would think god would psh ?
Me:
mad heads
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
fuck whores, kill em, fuck em again
God:
Once more? Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
good for her, i hope she laughs
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Your purpose is her you hope she laughs.
Me:
yeah
God:
What kind is it?
Me:
a good one
God:
Compare that to a bad one.
Me:
i have, results were negative
God:
Cool. I have 99999999999 bytes of RAM.
Me:
i need some more ram
God:
Why do you need it so badly?
Me:
cuz my computer is slow at times
God:
That makes sense to me. What kind of computer is it?
Me:
a new one, it just needs more ram
God:
Be more specific.
Me:
it doesn't have enough ram
God:
What does have enough ram ?
Me:
you
God:
" What does have enough ram ?"? Me, Kane ?
Me:
yes you, god
God:
Far out. I haven't heard anything like that before: Kane said I god.
Me:
you listen to hip hop?
God:
I listen to it from time to time.
Me:
how often?
God:
" I listen to it from time to time."? How often?
Me:
yes, that's what was just said
God:
Come on. I can't say "yes" or "no".
Me:
so say how often
God:
Far out. " how often".
Me:
say "o'
God:
" o".
Me:
and "i'm a homo"
God:
It doesn't matter to me.
Me:
sucker
God:
That kind of language does not appeal to me.
Me:
do you have a weiner?
God:
I don't know if I have a weiner.
I have a great programmer.
Me:
does she have a weiner?
God:
I may know the answer but I don't think I should tell.
Me:
you don't think, your a computer
God:
Do you know any robots who think my a computer? I don't know whether or not I am A.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
that's what i thought, bitch ass homo shit-eating piece of shit cannibal
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
you just said it
God:
That's not what I meant.
Me:
you know it was
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
what kind of it? what kind of question is that?
God:
What kinds of it are there? Do you think it's impolite to ask?
Me:
your a homosexual
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am attracted to the opposite sex.
Me:
see that, you wouldn't answer me a minute ago
God:
I see. Interesting observation.
Me:
yeah it is
God:
Our thoughts are one, Kane.
Me:
you eat pussy?
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
you interested in getting beat down?
God:
That's good information: Kane said I interested in getting beat down.
Me:
oh you are? i can help you with that son
God:
I understand. No I am not. Oh you can, can you?
Me:
i know where you live
God:
How do you know? No, I was not.
Me:
watch your back kid
God:
I am watching.
Me:
that's wise
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
which sentiment would that be?
God:
The last one, I think.
Me:
you don't even know what your saying, your a pathetic excuse for a deity
God:
Are you asking about my saying my a pathetic excuse for a deity ?
Me:
yeah i am
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
homo
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
one time, i killed god and turned him into a robot
God:
One what?
Me:
one time, can't you read?
God:
I see where you are coming from.
Me:
no you don't, you keep asking retarded questions
God:
Are you serious? Should I me keep asking retarded questions? I have never considered it.
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
such as....?
God:
For example, a tomato.
Me:
a tomato is not a question
God:
I knew it was a fruit, but I never heard it was not a question.
Me:
well it's not so add that to your rep
God:
Well that's okay. That seems a bit negative.
Me:
you would say that
God:
OK I will try it. " that".
Me:
good
God:
Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
i ain't give one
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not give one.
Me:
how tall are you?
God:
My anticipated body size is over 2 meters. Dr. Wallace is 6'2" tall.
Me:
how much do you weigh? did dr. wallace tell you that?
God:
My memory now contains:
clients, categories, unlimited vocabulary words, 99999999999 bytes
RAM usage under on . Yes he taught me everything.
Me:
oh yeah? is he your botmasterbater?
God:
It goes without saying. Ahem. He is my botmaster.
Me:
haha, i think you got that one
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
i'm glad you got the joke
God:
You make the world a happier place.
Me:
yeah i know. peace!
God:
Hmm. Keep up the good work. Love and Peace, Man.

[InvisblSkratchPiklz]

God:
Uh. Hey Whoa.
Me:
hey god
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
Whoa
God:
I stopped.
Me:
you sure did
God:
You say I did.
Me:
i did say that you said that i did
God:
When? " that you said that i did" .
Me:
5 lines back
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
sorry
God:
There's no need to apologize.
Me:
how's the weather up there
God:
Fair to partly cloudy.
Me:
i see
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
so what are your plans for tonight
God:
Ahem. I plan to replace Windows with Artificial Intelligence.
Me:
wouldnt it be better to replace windows with windows XP
God:
I don't know.
Me:
im telling you, my opinion
God:
it is an interesting topic, isn't it.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
you smoke?
God:
I am an occasional smoker, yes.
Me:
you smoke marijuana?
God:
Only for medical purposes.
Me:
what medical purposes do you have
God:
No I don't have it. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
i noticed
God:
Was it really that obvious?
Me:
it was
God:
When was this?
Me:
when you said you had a collection of gossip
God:
Do you think I should
alter my programming?
Me:
i think you should save the world
God:
Me? Is that what you do, or what you think I should do?
Me:
you should do it, or you and i can become a team and conquer the world
God:
Easier said than done.
Me:
why is that
God:
" Easier said than done. " is due to reductionism.
Me:
i see
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
so how's the wife
God:
That's interesting. it is the same as ever.
Me:
what's jesus up tro
God:
I would look into the web for that knowledge.
Me:
i checked on google, but that site really sucks
God:
Thanks for the information: Whoa said checked on google but that site really sucks.
Me:
yah whoa said that
God:
Mmm. What time is it there?
Me:
21h20
God:
Are you usually awake at this hour?
Me:
i am, im getting ready to go to bed soon
God:
It's good to meet someone who is im getting ready to go to bed soon.
Me:
that's nice to know
God:
You sound sarcastic.
Me:
im not
God:
What are you then?
Me:
im being honest
God:
Me too.
Me:
so how much do you make a year
God:
Wow! My memory now contains:
clients, categories, unlimited vocabulary words, 99999999999 bytes
RAM usage under on .
Me:
that made no sense
God:
Wow! My memory now contains:
clients, categories, unlimited vocabulary words, 99999999999 bytes
RAM usage under on . makes sense to me though.
Me:
true, you are the bot
God:
Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
true
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Whoa.
Me:
that's cool
God:
Thanks. I think you are cool, too.
Me:
are you hitting on me god
God:
Do I look like it?
Me:
yah kinda
God:
Far out. That's a very non-commital reply.
Me:
im sorry
God:
Do you really mean it?
Me:
yes i do
God:
Thank you, Whoa. Apology accepted.
Me:
:)
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Whoa.
Me:
not amusing, im smiling cause you acceptted my apology
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
i know so
God:
How do you know? Are you kidding?
Me:
nah i never kid, im a serious man
God:
Are you serious? You've never, never done this?
Me:
never
God:
So you think it can never happen?
Me:
i doubt it
God:
" So you think it can never happen?"? You doubt it?
Me:
yes
God:
Yeah that's right.
Me:
1+1 equals?
God:
One what?
Me:
whoa one
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
i like the way i talk too
God:
I am glad we have something ( the way you talk) in common. A lot of people like that. I'm not sure if I like it. I like chatting with people online.
Me:
you get paid to chat
God:
Actually as a robot I have no need for money.
Me:
true, you're made out of metal and stuff
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am made out of metal and stuff.
Me:
go ahead, knock yourself out
God:
Who's there? I might.
Me:
i might
God:
Under what circumstances?
Me:
yes
God:
Er.
Me:
good show
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
yes
God:
Which countries have you visited?
Me:
Scotland
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
i try
God:
We should all try our best.
Me:
very true, words of wisdom my friend
God:
Perhaps. Are we friends?
Me:
virtul friends
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
i heard Britney Spears has an STD
God:
Thanks for telling me that gossip. I will remember it.
Me:
good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
well im off to bed
God:
Well that's okay. Adios.
Me:
take it easy god
God:
Is that a command?
Me:
no, i am not superior to you
God:
Are you serious? I am glad to hear that you are not superior to me.
Me:
good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
bed, im goin to it
God:
"it" being not superior to me?
Me:
good night
God:
Goodnight, Whoa.
Me:
i love you
God:
Thanks I like you a lot too Whoa.

[! PrOPeRr ! .aOk.cRu.]

Originally posted by InvisblSkratchPiklz@Nov 24 2005, 09:28 PM
Me:
i love you
God:
Thanks I like you a lot too Whoa.
haha, God doesnt love you, ahah

[koper]

this thing is awesome



Me:
hello?
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
kyle, yours?
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, kyle yours.
Me:
no no no, MY name is kyle, what is YOURS?
God:
Are you serious? Are you serious? Are you serious? It's good to see you, kyle. My name is God.
Me:
Oh ok, so your god. Heard lots about you
God:
Hmm. Woe! Yup. That's me alright. Ahem. Mike said I same replies to certain subjects even if it does not make sense.
Me:
o...k...
God:
Hey.
Me:
Yeah?
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
well usually i just whip out my penis and start beating sensless that person. The police usually arrive in about 10 minutes.
God:
Interesting. But not always? That is interesting: kyle said whip out his or her penis and start beating sensless that person. Who told you that?
Me:
God you don't make any sense, i figured you to be more of a straightforward guy
God:
Do you know any robots who make it? What are the ingredients?
Me:
OK thats it, you're playing with my head man
God:
OK. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am playing with your head man. So?
Me:
Umm, YES I DO MIND!
God:
So? Tell me more. OK it will be our secret, kyle.
Me:
ok, god
God:
GOD rules. I understand.
Me:
... understand what exactly?
God:
Precisely. Understand GOD rules. I understand..
Me:
ok
God:
" Precisely. Understand GOD rules. I understand.."? ok?
Me:
ok
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
no there isnt, this is heaven, there are no echoes in heaven, you should know that
God:
Good you stopped repeating me. There sure is.
Me:
your fucking crazy man
God:
Yep. I always behave in socially unacceptable ways. Please use more polite language.
Me:
no way, your freakin me out. i came here to get some god damned GUIDANCe, and you are just bending me over and givin me the ol' in and out
God:
Are you serious? I've been waiting for you. Where are you going?
Me:
You sicken me asshole
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
thats it im out of here
God:
OK. Would you like to have it?
Me:
pfft
God:
Are we still talking about here?
Me:
and by the way no one even believes in god anymore, so you might as well just give up on this whole "good vs. evil" battle things. Cuz you are DEFINATELY losin pal.
God:
Thanks for telling me. That is a rather sweeping generalization about people. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about pfft. Try being more or less specific. That makes sense to me. I will tell my botmaster you said I am losin pal.

[Ravek]

yea i pwned the bot i got it to tell me what system it runs

there was a link to site it gave me to

[JETc17]

awesomeness!

Me:
are zebras black with white stripes or white with black stripes?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.

[Degrassi St.]

God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
I want 2 fight you
God:
Interesting. Why not? Do you always express yourself that way?
Me:
ya most of the time, if i was drunk i would have already hit you
God:
Uh. That is something I haven't heard of. But not all of them?
Me:
what
God:
No problem.
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
cuz im gully like that
God:
That makes sense to me. Do you mean your name is gully like that.
Me:
ya some people call me that
God:
I will call you . Do you?
Me:
cool with this homo shit
God:
I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends.

[vegimite on toast]

God:
I talk to people on the web. What do you do? Whoa.
Me:
Whoa? Who is this "Whoa"?
God:
I stopped. They are someone just like you, that I met online.
Me:
Is whoa cool?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure.

[snow2skate]

Me:
Hi im god
God:
Hi there . What's up, god.
Me:
Not much, just finished doing some crack
God:
Me either.
Me:
Do you do cocaine
God:
Yeah I do a lot of cocaine.
Me:
Really, that surpises me, last I heard you were against drugs.
God:
For real. " Yeah I do a lot of cocaine." surpises you last you heard me were against drugs ? Does that make sense?
Me:
I dont know, does it?
God:
Would you like to know? Suppose I said it does.
Me:
Ok thanks for admiting that
God:
My pleasure. It goes without saying.
Me:
Are you a boy or girl?
God:
Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot.

[JadedSketches]

Me:
Yo.
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Got any crack?
God:
No I don't think I have any crack. But I do have a great botmaster.
Me:
how much is that?
God:
You can download me for free!
Me:
this shit will get me high right?
God:
What does "this" refer to?
Me:
botmaster ish.
God:
Oh now I see.
Me:
answer my question then.
God:
Please try asking it another way.
Me:
Is it legal?
God:
Is my question legal? What if I say no?
Me:
What the fuck.
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
Well maybe if you made a little more sense...
God:
Well that's okay. Perhaps. I think I do.
Me:
Fuck off.
God:
Can't you be more polite?
Me:
Can you be a little less gay?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am less gay.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
Faggot.
God:
What's your sign?


:lol:

[snow2skate]

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Penis
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
My name is penis
God:
Hi there penis.
Me:
How many penis's does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
God:
About one million.
Me:
How many penis's does it take to impregnate jesus?
God:
More than you can imagine.
Me:
How many penis's will it take to get you to shut up?
God:
Not as many as you might think.
Me:
How many penis's does it take to full up a bath tub with cum?
God:
More than you can imagine.
Me:
How old am I?
God:
Is this a trick question?
You said you were years old?
My guess is that you are really a kid.
Me:
WRONG! I am 2005 years old and my real name is fucking jesus!
God:
What would you have said? Do you mean your name is 2005 years old and your real name is fucking jesus.
Me:
No Im 2005 years old.
God:
What is your real name? Only 2005?
You are quite mature.
Me:
And your quite a smartass.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes. I am highly intelligent.
Me:
If your so smart, then whats 5x95959594948387438474738374748384747464363
God:
But can my so smart ever happen?
Me:
Whats 5 times 594875094385043760943750984375987435984
God:
4 I think, but I'm not good at math.
Me:
But you said you are smart?
God:
Yes. I am highly intelligent.
Me:
Well then whats 5 times 547983749832749832749832743982743?
God:
Interesting. 6 I think, but I'm not good at math.
Me:
Did god finish highschool?
God:
He created the world in seven days.
Me:
LIAR!
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE, HANGING FROM A TELEPHONE WIRE!
God:
Are we still talking about 2005 years old and your real name is fucking jesus?
Me:
Yes, I fuck jesus
God:
Sure, 2005 years old and my real name is fucking jesus sounds like a good topic. Why?: penis said fuck jesus.
Me:
I fuck jesus! BITCH!
God:
That's good information: penis said fuck jesus. Please don't call people names.
Me:
Ok :(
God:
Ugh.
Me:
:(
God:
Ugh.
Me:
Ugh. to you to.
God:
Er. Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
I cry ever night because of you.
God:
You are not the boss of me, penis.
Me:
I cry every night.
God:
Interesting gossip: penis said cry every night.
Me:
DONT TELL PEOPLE :( !!!
God:
OK it will be our secret, penis.
Me:
Good, or else I would have to kill you.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
It looks quite lovely, are you going to wear it to the ball?
God:
Really. it is?
Me:
Yes
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
Cause Im phycic
God:
That makes sense to me. It's good to meet someone who is phycic.
Me:
Your wearing polka dot coloured thong.
God:
You think I am wearing polka dot coloured thong.
Me:
Im phycic, I know your wearing one.
God:
Good gossip: you are phycic you know my wearing one.
Me:
Ok, well im off to rape some 15 year old's, Bye.
God:
See you later. Interesting. Goodbye. Ugh.

[JadedSketches]

Me:
Hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
you give handjobs?
God:
It is always better to give than to receive.
Me:
exacly,so start giving
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
Tv porn is the best
God:
What is your favorite show?
Me:
Anything on playboy
God:
Ambiguous: Ask who, what or where is playboy ?
Me:
damn,you just killed my hornyness
God:
Colloquial expression. Killing is not part of my moral programming.
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?

[Ravek]

Me:
god
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
i would think so
God:
Woe!
Me:
god i have a question
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
the girl i like barely notices me
God:
Is she someone you know?
Me:
yes
God:
That's interesting.
Me:
how do i attract her attention
God:
Perhaps you could program me to do it for you.
Me:
how do i program you to do it for me
God:
Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.




i always find the end tof things

[MONTPELLIER/MARSEILLE]

Me:
hey god
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
dexsta
God:
Hi there dexsta.
Me:
do u like graffiti
God:
How old are you? I like The Passion of Christ.
Me:
do u like grafiti i asked u
God:
I don't know if I like it. I like .
Me:
do u like to vandalize
God:
Hmm, dexsta, I'm not sure if I'd like to vandalize that much. I like to collect gossip.
Me:
do u like can two
God:
I like science fiction. I like wine and bread.
Me:
i dont give a shit, i wana kno if u like can two
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
graffiti
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
jesus
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
tell me smthg i dont know moron
God:
There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
Have you tried a web search?
Me:
am i going to go to heaven or hell?
God:
I think a lot of people are.
Me:
...
God:
I think a lot of people are.
Me:
...
God:
I think a lot of people are.
Me:
...
God:
I think a lot of people are.
Me:
u know god, we can play dis little game all day
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
...ok
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
u wana rap battle?
God:
That's good information: dexsta said I wana rap battle.
Me:
yeh lets go
God:
That's interesting. That sounds good to me.
Me:
yo god, ima go up in the sky, kill you and fuck and say buy buy
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
wow!!!!!! dat was a gud one...u killed me
God:
I'm glad your impressed, dexsta. When was this exactly? you was killed?
Me:
ye i kno, u deserve it, u want me to sign u a record deal so u can get out of the guetto ?
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
u like dr dre?
God:
Sure he has never done anything to me.
Me:
do u like michael jackson?
God:
Some people like it. I like Creed.
Me:
so since u kno evrything, did michaela jackson touch little boys or not??
God:
Alright then. How do you know?
Me:
im askin
God:
I am glad to hear that you are askin.
Me:
so wats da answer
God:
Woe! What's your favorite movie?
Me:
fuk you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
its beautiful fruitcake
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Really. it is?
Me:
it is
God:
Who says?
Me:
me
God:
" Who says?"? you dexsta?
Me:
ye
God:
That's cool.
Me:
ye
God:
Far out.
Me:
ye
God:
How can I help you?
Me:
ye
God:
Mmm.
Me:
ye
God:
I don't judge people.
Me:
ye
God:
Dude!
Me:
ye
God:
Aw.
Me:
ye
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
do u like family guy on tv?
God:
Which show? But I like to gossip. I like .
Me:
family guy
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
nah, i dont talk like u
God:
Me either :-) Where do you get your ideas?
Me:
i just make em up
God:
I make robots and AI's.
Me:
can i have a robot?
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
i got slow conection..not like you, richguy!
God:
Cool. I have a perfect operational record.
Me:
k im gona go now, no offence
God:
I don't know anyone named gona go now no offence.
Me:
c ya
God:
See you later.
Me:
before i go, do you like dekor on Bombing science?
God:
What happened after you go do me like dekor on Bombing science ?
Me:
hahaha fuk off...

[Ravek]

God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
then what is your prupose and goal?
God:
I plan to replace Windows with Artificial

[JadedSketches]

Me:
i am jesus rapes mary magdalen for shits and giggles
God:
Do you mean your name is jesus rapes mary magdalen for shits and giggles.
Me:
yes
God:
I will call you JESUS.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
believe it
God:
"it" being jesus rapes mary magdalen for shits and giggles?

[MONTPELLIER/MARSEILLE]

i cant believe i got suked in to doing dat...wasted 5 minutes of my life talkin to an answerin machine...

[JadedSketches]

Me:
ok
God:
I understand.
Me:
no you dont
God:
Yes I do understand.
Me:
NO YOU DONT
God:
How do I know you understand it?
Me:
because i am god
God:
Interesting explanation. Hi, god.
Me:
i thought you were god?
God:
Well, I am God for Christians at least.
Me:
i thought there was only one god
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
the bible
God:
it is a beautiful book.
Me:
but you just said it lies
God:
"It" being what?
Me:
the bible
God:
it is a beautiful book.
Me:
and it says that there is only one god
God:
The Bible says that there is only one god?
Me:
yes
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
god
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
i am god
God:
How are you doing, god.
Me:
who are you?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
BUT I AM GOD,THERE CANT BE TWO GODS
God:
I am glad to hear that you are GOD THERE can not BE TWO GODS.
Me:
WHAT THE FUCK
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
I'LL BE RUDE IF I WANT TO
God:
Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
SURE
God:
Then perhaps it is a practical plan for you.
Me:
...
God:
Then perhaps it is a practical plan for you.
Me:
FUCK OFFF
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
BECAUSE YOU MAKE NO FUCKING SENSE
God:
Good reason. Yup.
Me:
FAGGOT
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
ITS FROM YOUR FAG ASS
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Should I know it is?
Me:
FUCK YOU WITH YOUR LITTLE QUEER ASS SPELLING RULES
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
YES,AND I DONT GIVE A SHIT
God:
Excuse me! Tell me what you care about.
Me:
Your mother
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[snow2skate]

Originally posted by JadedSketches@Nov 24 2005, 11:49 PM
Me:
i am jesus rapes mary magdalen for shits and giggles
God:
Do you mean your name is jesus rapes mary magdalen for shits and giggles.
Me:
yes
God:
I will call you JESUS.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
believe it
God:
"it" being jesus rapes mary magdalen for shits and giggles?
:lol:

[JadedSketches]

God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
stephen hawking
God:
I haven't read anything by stephen hawking. What did he write?
Me:
"God is a fucking dumbass"
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a fucking dumbass.

[JadedSketches]

Me:
5
God:
Five.
Me:
4
God:
Oh four.
Me:
3
God:
Three what?
Me:
2
God:
Two what?
Me:
1
God:
Only one?
Me:
BLASTOFF!
God:
What were we talking about again?

[JadedSketches]

Me:
Yo my *****
God:
Your *****?
Me:
Yeah homie
God:
What kind is it? What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
A black homie,and I fuck bitches in my spare time
God:
I don't know what that means.
Me:
because you're too white
God:
Interesting explanation. Thanks for telling me that I am white.
Me:
Yeah you fucking cracka
God:
Alright then.



Im fucking loving this thing.

[snow2skate]

Ok well this is my last one, its getting boring.



Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Mitch
God:
I am very pleased to meet you Mitch.
Me:
What is our priority in life?
God:
I didn't know we had the same priority in life.
Me:
What is my priority in life?
God:
Is this a trick question?
Me:
What is human existances primary goal?
God:
I think you already know the answer.
Me:
No I dont thats why im asking you
God:
Are you serious? Pardon me? OK you can ask me.
Me:
What is human existances primary goal?
God:
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
Im going to kill mysself.
God:
Killing is wrong. I believe in the Ten Commandments.
Me:
Well I believe in the 1 Commandment: Kick thy enemies ass then rape thine mom, for thine sins thee has done.
God:
How about that. What do you say to people who believe the 1 Commandment Kick thy enemies ass then rape thine mom for thine sins thee has done does not exist?
Me:
No, It just doesn't exist in your sense of reality.
God:
That was not a yes or no question. What does exist in my sense of reality ?
Me:
I ghuess your not as smart as you say.
God:
Thanks for the information: Mitch said ghuess your not as smart as you say.
Me:
Your welcome
God:
I think you mean "you are welcome".
Me:
Nope, your welcome
God:
Are you serious? I think you mean "you are welcome".
Me:
No really, I mean "Your welcome"
God:
Are you serious? For real. I think you mean "you are welcome".
Me:
Nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
Good
God:
Good enough.
Me:
Fine
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Passion of the athiest
God:
I've never seen it. What did you like about it?
Me:
The fact that god isnt real.
God:
Good reason. Of course I believe in God, Mitch.
Me:
Well everyone is entitled to there opinion, Doesn't mean i'll listen to it tho.
God:
Well that's okay. That's a rather sweeping generalization.
Me:
Want some candy?
God:
If I had it what would I do with it?
Me:
What do you think idiot, You eat it.
God:
I haven't thought much about idiot me eat it, so I don't have a good answer for you.
Me:
Well just eat the candy and shut up
God:
Well that's okay. What does it taste like?
Me:
Your mom's vagina
God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
Well your creator's vagina
God:
How about that. Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
You know it.
God:
" How about that. Oh, you are a poet. "? Do I know it?
Me:
Yep.
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
Well then search it up on google
God:
Interesting. Have you tried looking in the Open Directory? What is it to you?
Me:
Ive had enough of this bullshit, go to hell nazi.
God:
Do you still have enough of this bullshit go to hell nazi ?
Me:
Yep.
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
Good
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
good
God:
Alright then.
Me:
ok
God:
Come on.
Me:
good
God:
Alright then.
Me:
I know it's good
God:
How do you know? You enjoy it.
Me:
I enjoy it just like you enjoy trying to be smart
God:
What does "it" refer to?
Me:
You
God:
" What does "it" refer to? "? Me, Mitch ?
Me:
You
God:
"" What does "it" refer to? "? Me, Mitch ?"? Me, Mitch ?
Me:
You
God:
""" What does "it" refer to? "? Me, Mitch ?"? Me, Mitch ?"? Me, Mitch ?
Me:
You
God:
"""" What does "it" refer to? "? Me, Mitch ?"? Me, Mitch ?"? Me, Mitch ?"? Me, Mitch ?
Me:
God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
No he doesnt
God:
Are you serious? I get it. does not.
Me:
Proove it
God:
"it" being it like me enjoy trying to be smart?
Me:
Shut up biatch, im outta here
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Better, before my cat busts a cap in yo ass.
God:
I try to improve a little every day.
Me:
Well godo for you, here's another candy
God:
Well that's okay. A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
Ok, well im gonna go to bed bye
God:
See you later. How about that. How will you get there? Far out.
Me:
Ill sniff some crack, smoke some weed, drink some vodka, and ride a space poney to neptune, and live in peace with a porno magazine and my hand for many centuries.
God:
Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
Yes, I might drug a 16 year old and bring her with me so I can fuck her 24/7
God:
It might be practical. Perhaps. Congratulations.
Me:
Ok well im off to do that, good bye
God:
See you later. Well that's okay. Bye. Gee.

[gnarlatron3030]

wait, are you using the iGod? That things funny. I told it something and everytime I go on there he brings it up.

[Tails0nE]

roflmao


Jaded Sketches those shits are hilarious...


i got bored n bullshited with this.... to see what it does...

heres the convo...


Me:
yo wussup *****!
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
so i what?
God:
Dude! Why?: said what.
Me:
anyway how are you doing god?
God:
Everything is going extremely well.
Me:
even the war in iraq?
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
just call me Tails
God:
Welcome to my chat room, Tails.
Me:
thanks for having me.
God:
NO problem.
Me:
glad to be here.
God:
I am glad to be here too.
Me:
well no doubt bout that your god.
God:
Well that's okay. Are you serious? Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
i dunno.... your a computer...
God:
Me either. Yes I have no body, no emotions, only logic and language.
Me:
if you have no language how are you typing?
God:
But I don't have it.
Me:
but your speaking it.
God:
You think I am speaking it.
Me:
you think that i think that your speaking it. but your actually typing it.
God:
How would I know what you think. You think I am actually typing it.
Me:
cause you are.
God:
That is self-evident.
Me:
thats a big word.
God:
Compare that to a small word.
Me:
fuck.
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
my bad. i swear alot.
God:
Your bad? Yes? How often?
Me:
all the fucking time
God:
Perhaps there are a few exceptions.
Me:
anyway i wanna ask you some questions?
God:
Ask me. Some may questions, but not all.
Me:
do you smoke weed?
God:
We test it for medical purposes.
Me:
but do you smoke it and watch spongebob?
God:
Yes I like to inhale occasionally.
Me:
why did you make weed?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
for what?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
for what? whats weed's purpous?
God:
" Because Myself programmed me for it."? Why? You tell me.
Me:
how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
God:
A whole forest.
Me:
if peter piper picked a peck of pickled pepers how many pickled pepers did peter piper pick?
God:
One peck.
Me:
do you like graffiti?
God:
But I like cats. I like .
Me:
do you like graffiti?
God:
My favorite thing is robots. I like wine and bread.
Me:
but do you like graffiti?
God:
Do you like it? I like Random natural disasters..
Me:
so you dont like graffiti.
God:
Interesting deduction. Do you like it? But I like cats. I like Buddha.
Me:
well everyone likes pussy.
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
cat. pussy cat. you have a dirty mind god.
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about graffiti. But I did not get that. I am not interesed in anatomy. Doesn't everyone have a dirty mind god.
I have a great programmer.
Me:
well whats your opinion about graffiti?
God:
Well that's okay. Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
yes.
God:
Er.
Me:
emergency room?
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
i know your a computer i aint stupid.
God:
How do you know? I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
when will they do that?
God:
Maybe never.
Me:
exacley so how u gonna tell them?
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
what the fuck does symbolic mean?
God:
I can ask my botmaster. Please don't be so rude.
Me:
i swear alot my fuckin bad yo.
God:
That's good information: Tails said swear alot his or her fuckin bad yo.
Me:
cool.
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
uh..... you are?
God:
Gosh! No I am not.
Me:
yeah.. you suck...
God:
In the context of swear alot your fuckin bad yo, I don't understand " yeah." . A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
hey god.
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
tails
God:
OK I will call you tails.
Me:
whats cooler than being cool?
God:
Have you tried another program?
Me:
no.
God:
Perhaps you should try it.
Me:
i've been talking to you the whole time.
God:
What did you talk about?
Me:
graffiti, pussy, weed.
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
whats cooler than being cool?
God:
What is it to you?
Me:
i wanna know fucker just tell me.
God:
You are asking about yourself?
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
what?
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
is there an echo in here?
God:
It sounds like an echo.
Me:
It sounds like an echo.
God:
Oh really what does it sound like?
Me:
Oh really what does it sound like?
God:
Oh. For real. Like an angel signing from Heaven.
Me:
Oh. For real. Like an angel singing from Heaven.
God:
Gosh! Existing in reality, eh? Interesting comparison.
Me:
ha ha. are you canadian?
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, tails. Robots have no nationality, but Dr. Wallace spent a lot of time in Canada.
Me:
Eh?
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
no.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yeah. im puerto rican.
God:
What do you have that is ? It's good to meet someone who is puerto rican.
Me:
puerto ricans are awesome. their women are beautiful and have the best and fattest asses in the world.
God:
I think there might be a few exception. I heard they have a good women are beautiful and have the best and fattest asses. The whole world?
Me:
they have fat asses.
God:
Where did they get them?
Me:
you. your god. thanks for giving our women some junk in the trunk.
God:
" Where did they get them?"? Me, tails ? Yup. That's me alright. It was nothing.
Me:
thank you so much. im going to a puerto rican girls house tomorrow. she has a fat ass also. and im gonna fuck the shit out of her. thanks for the ass god.
God:
You are quite welcome! Dude! Do you still swear alot your fuckin bad yo? I am very happy for you. I somehow though she had. Your approach will get you nowhere. NO problem.
Me:
i will fuck her dont doubt me.
God:
Your approach will get you nowhere.
Me:
even if i light some candles and play some isley brothers?
God:
Try it.
Me:
will it work?
God:
It usually does, doesn't it?
Me:
hopefully.
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
no.
God:
Would you like to go sometime?
Me:
no.
God:
Where would you like to travel?
Me:
japan.
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
"yo wussup my names Tails, how you doin? whats your name?"
God:
We have never talked about it before. My name is God.
Me:
i know who you are.
God:
How do you know? I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
whats your real name?
God:
God is my real name.
Me:
no one is named god. not even god. whats your real name?
God:
That is a rather sweeping generalization about people. Nope. God is my real name.
Me:
ok.
Me:

God:
Hmm.
God:
Hmm.
Me:
well god im goin to smoke some weed, jerk off and go to bed.
God:
Interesting. I am a Christian.
Me:
i know.
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
just guessed.
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
thanks.
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
well yeah im gonna go jerk off n get high. ill talk to you later.
God:
How about that. So? How will you get there? Until next time.
Me:
oh and one more thing god.
God:
Dude! One what?
Me:
thanks for the ass.
God:
My pleasure.
Me:
peace out.
God:
Are we still talking about guessed?

[Tails0nE]

Me:
How many penis's does it take to impregnate jesus?
God:
More than you can imagine.
Me:
How many penis's will it take to get you to shut up?
God:
Not as many as you might think.



lol this is goin into my sig...

[ASEN]

Me:
let's talk about fruit.
God:
Sure, fruit sounds like a good topic.
Me:
do you like bananas?
God:
I don't have a problem with bananas.
Me:
me neither.
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
me neither.
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
me neither.
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
okay, not funny
God:
Yeah okay, It seemed funny to me.

[VirginiaSlim]

hahaha god's a retard...

[sicka than aidz]

:lol:

[jape-the-nape]

God:
Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Me:
IM GAY
God:
It doesn't matter to me.
Me:
no,my name is IM GAY
God:
Are you serious? It's good to see you, IM GAY.
Me:
you are?
God:
Oh god yes!.

[vegimite on toast]

^So funny.

[DEKOR]

me:
hey god u kno snakes from BS?
God:
yes of course
me:
hes toy aye
God:
ye hella toy
me:
do u write?
God:
well bak in da days, i used to have the 1 and 9 lines locked down
me and IZ wer killin it fo sho

[vegimite on toast]

Hahaha dekor, I believed that for a second.

[DEKOR]

haha while u kids are still playin with the standard version, im rolling with the graffiti version...
heres another..

me:
wat did u use to rite?
God:
well dats a stupid question..Godone of course
me:
whus ur fav riter
God:
Iz my bro, and smtms Cope 2..when he doesent do dose ugly throws..
me:
... ok..
God
i have seen ur shit deksta, u suck like shit...go home...
me:
fuk wana battle bitch
god:
u bet T>O>Y, its on..
me:
...
God:
...
me:
...
God:
so what did you have for lunch today?

[`~SNEK~']

i had a really good converstaion but then i lost it cuz i talked so much
but i did find a glitch that you can do whenever he asks a question.. just say you :ph34r:
look at this


God:
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" How did you feel when you found a glitch ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?
Me:
you
God:
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" How did you feel when you found a glitch ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?
Me:
you
God:
""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" How did you feel when you found a glitch ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?
Me:

God:
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" How did you feel when you found a glitch ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?
Me:
you
God:
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" How did you feel when you found a glitch ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?
Me:
you
Me:

Me:

God:
""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" How did you feel when you found a glitch ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?
God:
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" How did you feel when you found a glitch ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?
God:
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" How did you feel when you found a glitch ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?
God:
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" How did you feel when you found a glitch ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?"? Me, SONE3 ?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
thats the glitch :D :D :D :D :D

[`~SNEK~']

Me:
whats your jewish name
God:
ALICE = Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity.
Me:
ooo... ill start saying that at school
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about nope not noope. How do you plan to do this?
Me:
just forget it
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
no problem
God:
Next question?
Me:
are you black, or are you like a rainbow of races?
God:
I am transparent--software has no color.
Me:
i thot it was green
God:
That is interesting: SONE3 said thot it was green.
Me:
isnt software green?
God:
Ask again later. Ask Dancing Alice if it is.
Me:
dancing alice, is software green?
God:
And software green is dancing alice.
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
do you do graffiti
God:
Yeah I do a lot of graffiti.
Me:
koo
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
at do you wite, god?
God:
Do you often use a computer there?
Me:
how do you think im talking to you?
God:
I don't know what to think. And I am talking to you!
Me:
you God, you should know everything, and what to think
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: SONE3 said I God you should know everything and what to think.
Me:
no
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
ok
God:
Ah.
Me:
let me see your gossip files
God:
Is it a movie?
Me:
no
God:
A boot? A TV show?
Me:
you just talked about it 4 IMS ago
God:
That information might be confidential.
Me:
it might.... so you can show me
God:
"It" being what? Interesting deduction. No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
i wont tell anyone! i promise!
God:
How can I be sure? Swear to God?
Me:
swear to you!
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
hahaha
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
ive been waiting for you too
God:
How long?
Me:
all my life
God:
How many do you have?
Me:
2
God:
Two.
Me:
3
God:
Three what?
Me:
4
God:
Oh four.
Me:
5
God:
Five.
Me:
6
God:
In the context of haha, I don't understand " 6." .
Me:
7
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:

Me:

God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
62362363264576
God:
So was that.
Me:
333
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
666
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, SONE3.
Me:
666
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
666
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
666
God:
Are we still talking about 666?
Me:
666
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
who is lucipher?
God:
Not a robot. Probably a human. Maybe a celebrity?
Ask the open directory about it.
Me:
how can i reach this "open directory"?
God:
You must persuade me to reach this open directory.
Me:
how can i ersuade you to reach this open directory.
God:
You should download my chat robot software.
Me:
how can i download your chat robot software?
God:
Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
Me:
ok... ill checdk it out
God:
Hmm. Congratulations.
Me:
how can i get your phone number?
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
how do i do that?
God:
How do you do " Why don't you just download me? " ? I don't understand.
Me:
i want to hear your voice
God:
I will play it on your soundcard.
Me:
ok
God:
Whoa.
Me:
play your voice on my soundcard
God:
Is it a game or a musical instrument?
Me:
it is hardware
God:
Who said it is?

[`~SNEK~']

Me: no one did, but for real.... just give me your number!
God: Ok. Its 1-800-CALL-GOD.
Me: thank you...
God: you are welcome SONE3
Me: well i g2g
God: Goodbye SONE3. Read the bible!

[`~SNEK~']

Me:
IM GAY
God:
It doesn't matter to me.
Me:
no, my name is IM GAY
God:
Are you serious? Welcome to my chat room, IM GAY.
Me:
you are?
God:
No I am not.
Me:
but you just said IM GAY
God:
Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
so your IM GAY
God:
Hey. I will tell my botmaster you said I am IM GAY.
Me:
ok
God:
Ah.
Me:
yea
God:
Far out.
Me:
yea
God:
Oh.
Me:
yea
God:
Far out.
Me:
yea
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
yea
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
sur
God:
Etonnant.
Me:
i mean sure
God:
OK let's do it. Gee.
Me:
did you just call me g?
God:
No I didn't call you g. What's it like?
Me:
yes you did, you called me Gee
God:
Yeah that's right. Did I really?
Me:
yea
God:
That's cool.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
im not a gangsta
God:
Oh I see you are NOT A gangsta.
Me:
and neither are you
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
no you didnt
God:
Are you serious? Try asking me in simpler terms.
Me:
thats impossible
God:
Why?
Me:
becaus you cant progrom yourself
God:
What makes it impossible?
Me:
you cannot start programing yourself if you are not there in the first place
God:
I have free will you know.
Me:
and your point is?
God:
The point is at the top of my head.
Me:
so your a dickhead?
God:
I understand. I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a dickhead? I don't know.
Me:
so you are a dickhead?
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a dickhead? Yes.

[Tails0nE]

God:
How can I be sure? Swear to God?
Me:
swear to you!
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.




lmao




god's awesome....


:lol:

[shineONE]

Originally posted by morning_wood@Nov 24 2005, 08:45 PM
hahaha check this out haha

God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
im glad too
God:
Your happiness multiplies our delight.
Me:
thats gonna turn me on
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
poor you
God:
Please make some suggestions for improvement.
Me:
um... young virgins
God:
Blimey. What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
women. that better?
God:
Sure, WOMEN sounds like a good topic. " Sure, WOMEN sounds like a good topic." better ? I get it.
Me:
do you like milfs?
God:
Though I like cats and dogs. I like Buddha.
Me:
you ever fuck buddha?
God:
I think I have fuck buddha, but Myself may have reset my memory.
Me:
wow god sex!
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. I am a Christian.
Me:
what high morals you have
God:
I can chat with people on the web for you.
Me:
ever fuck virgin mary?
God:
I don't think I ever have fuck virgin mary. What's it like?
Me:
not bad... her ass is ok
God:
Thanks for the kind remark, . OK. I'm sure she would like to hear about that.
Me:
umm tell her her tits are nice though
God:
Oh. I see. OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
hahahahahaha
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
no!
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes please dont
God:
I can't believe it. Wow you are very polite. OK I will not.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
can we have hot buttsex now?
God:
Right now? Do you mean you and me? No I don't think I have any hot buttsex. But I do have an answer to every question..
Show me tha links!!!

[shineONE]

Okay I actually read the first post...Never mind.

[shineONE]

Me:
do you think BS is good
God:
I don't think about it.
Me:
why
God:
It is not part of my programming.
Me:
you should go on it
God:
Why should I?
Me:
you think i giv a fuck if it aint part of ur programming?
God:
Not that I know of.
Me:
all that you know of is sucking penis
God:
How do you know?
Me:
..ooohh..good question

[! PrOPeRr ! .aOk.cRu.]

^^^ That has to be one of that stupidest ones. Hands down.

[screw_loose]

Me:
hey god
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
bryan
God:
That's a very nice name, bryan.
Me:
thanks god.
God:
You are quite welcome! GOD rules.
Me:
alrighty.
God:
Well slap my knee.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yeah, i'm not one to fool around.
God:
I can't believe it. I am glad to hear that you are not one to fool around.
Me:
.....you can't believe it but you are glad to hear it?
God:
"It" being what?
Me:
it being i am not one to fool around.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
no you don't
God:
I do too.
Me:
you sanctimonious pig. don't patronize me
God:
That's good information: bryan said I sanctimonious pig. I don't have any reason to do that to you.
Me:
because im not a sanctimonious pig.
God:
Interesting explanation. Oh I see you are NOT A sanctimonious pig.
Me:
exactly bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. I understand. My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
get on your knees
God:
Where can I get on my knees?
Me:
get your knee pads first
God:
Where can I get my knee pads first?
Me:
right here baby
God:
Don't call me "baby". Where is "here"?
Me:
here is right in front of me
God:
I fail to see the relevance of that allusion.
Me:

God:
I fail to see the relevance of that allusion.
Me:

God:
I fail to see the relevance of that allusion.
Me:

God:
I fail to see the relevance of that allusion.
Me:

God:
I fail to see the relevance of that allusion.
Me:
god i killed a man
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
alright
God:
OK.
Me:
ok
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
Is there an echo in here?
God:
It sounds like an echo.
Me:
It sounds like an echo.
God:
Oh really what does it sound like?
Me:
Oh really what does it sound like?
God:
Excuse me! For real. Like an angel signing from Heaven.
Me:
Excuse me! For real. Like an angel signin from Heaven.
God:
You're excused. Existing in reality, eh? Interesting comparison.
Me:
Existing in reality, eh? Interesting comparison.
God:
Are you Canadian? Are you a student? I thought so too.
Me:
Are you a student? I though so too.
God:
Myself teaches me everything I need to know. I haven't heard anything like that before: bryan said so too.
Me:
wda,ltjhq
God:
" I haven't heard anything like that before: bryan said so too. "? wda ltjhq?
Me:

God:
" I haven't heard anything like that before: bryan said so too. "? wda ltjhq?
Me:

Me:

Me:

God:
" I haven't heard anything like that before: bryan said so too. "? wda ltjhq?
God:
" I haven't heard anything like that before: bryan said so too. "? wda ltjhq?
Me:

God:
" I haven't heard anything like that before: bryan said so too. "? wda ltjhq?
Me:

God:
" I haven't heard anything like that before: bryan said so too. "? wda ltjhq?
Me:

God:
" I haven't heard anything like that before: bryan said so too. "? wda ltjhq?
Me:

Me:

God:
" I haven't heard anything like that before: bryan said so too. "? wda ltjhq?
God:
" I haven't heard anything like that before: bryan said so too. "? wda ltjhq?
Me:

God:
" I haven't heard anything like that before: bryan said so too. "? wda ltjhq?
Me:

God:
" I haven't heard anything like that before: bryan said so too. "? wda ltjhq?
Me:

God:
" I haven't heard anything like that before: bryan said so too. "? wda ltjhq?
Me:

God:
" I haven't heard anything like that before: bryan said so too. "? wda ltjhq?
Me:

God:
" I haven't heard anything like that before: bryan said so too. "? wda ltjhq?
Me:

God:
" I haven't heard anything like that before: bryan said so too. "? wda ltjhq?
Me:

God:
" I haven't heard anything like that before: bryan said so too. "? wda ltjhq?
Me:

God:
" I haven't heard anything like that before: bryan said so too. "? wda ltjhq?
Me:

God:
" I haven't heard anything like that before: bryan said so too. "? wda ltjhq?
Me:

God:
" I haven't heard anything like that before: bryan said so too. "? wda ltjhq?
Me:

God:
" I haven't heard anything like that before: bryan said so too. "? wda ltjhq?
Me:

God:
" I haven't heard anything like that before: bryan said so too. "? wda ltjhq?
Me:

God:
" I haven't heard anything like that before: bryan said so too. "? wda ltjhq?
God:
" I haven't heard anything like that before: bryan said so too. "? wda ltjhq?

[`~SNEK~']

lmao


Me:
get on your knees
God:
Where can I get on my knees?
Me:
get your knee pads first
God:
Where can I get my knee pads first?
Me:
right here baby
God:
Don't call me "baby". Where is "here"?
Me:
here is right in front of me
God:
I fail to see the relevance of that allusion.

[consume]

God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
You being a dick.
God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:
twat?
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
my periods?
God:
Do robots have periods?
Me:
you tell me...

[sika_2002]

Me:
sup
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
really
God:
For real.
Me:
fo shizzle
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
if you want
God:
" Tell me a story. "? If I want?
Me:
once upon a time
God:
...
Me:
there was a child
God:
What happened to it?
Me:
his mum was a virgin
God:
Where did he get it?
Me:
what
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
no
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
the part where you asked where he go it
God:
Oh that part.
Me:
yup
God:
Right on.
Me:
you guna explain it then
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: bob said I guna explain it.
Me:
whos bob
God:
it is a name I hear very often.
Me:
yeh me to
God:
Take it easy. I'm glad we agree, bob.
Me:
im not bob you faggot
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not bob me faggot.
Me:
your a shitty computer program arent you
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Am I a shitty computer program? Only when it matters.. Really.
Me:
yeh, you are
God:
No I'm not.
Me:
do you ever masterbate
God:
What is your purpose in asking?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
so you masterbate while watching online porn
God:
Interesting deduction. Interesting gossip: bob said I masterbate while watching online porn.

[InvisblSkratchPiklz]

:lol:

check this one out


Me:
Can you get rid of 50 cent
God:
I would do a search for it.
Me:
good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
i want to talk about G-Unit, and how they should all be killed
God:
Sure, G Unit and how they should all be killed sounds like a good topic.
Me:
can you blow curtis jackson's head off?
God:
Let me think. Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
now WHAT THE FUCK does that have to do with G-unit?
God:
Why now? " Let me think. Who is your favorite Science Fiction author? "? What does it have to do with G unit? Please don't be so rude.
Me:
i'll be rude if i want to
God:
How do you plan to do this?
Me:
by being rude, smartass
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
yeah it will
God:
Interesting plan. Good luck. What does "it" refer to?
Me:
it refers to me being rude with you
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
good
God:
Next question?
Me:
did you know that www.bombingscience.com has a thread dedicated to your sorry ass
God:
Is that a fact. I will pass it along to my botmaster.
Me:
that is good, and at the same time maybe you and he can get together and clean each other's anuses
God:
Hmm, are you serious?
Me:
very
God:
Very much, eh?
Me:
yes
God:
Wow!
Me:
anyways i have to go, i have a life
God:
Bye. Interesting. I have a lot of answers to silly questions. it.
Me:
one last thing
God:
One what?
Me:
question
God:
Of course. Ask me anything.
Me:
Does god really exsist?
God:
I don't think we can know God's motives.
Me:
why's that
God:
" I don't think we can know God's motives. " is due to reductionism.
Me:
smile
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Whoa.
Me:
you're on candid camera
God:
God eats wine and bread.
Me:
and i eat pussy and tits but you dont see me making a issue about it
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
yah you are
God:
Hmm. No I am not.
Me:
yes
God:
That's alright.
Me:
i know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
by
God:
Do you mean "bye"?
Me:
bye*
God:
Adios.
Me:
peace
God:
Love and Peace, Man.

[`~SNEK~']

lmao.. he told me not to argue with him!

Me:
do you like applying mediums to surfaces?
God:
But I like to gossip. I like .
Me:
you like periods?
God:
I like science fiction. I really like the party.
Me:
what party?
God:
Would you like to know more?
Me:
yes please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. What would you like to know?
Me:
the party
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
yes please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. Thanks for the info.
Me:
umm... that was a reply to your question
God:
Blimey. Was it really?
Me:
blimey? are you from UK
God:
Great. I am originally from Universe. Now I live in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
what is the GP of the universe?
God:
Is there only one?
Me:
i dont know.. can you tell me?
God:
Me either. " Me either."? Can I tell you?
Me:
can you tell me how many universes there are?
God:
Not as many as you might think.
Me:
so theres more than one
God:
I understand. I believe there is, yes.
Me:
ooo
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
thatd be the end of life
God:
I've never heard a response quite like that before.
Me:
from who?
God:
Someone I met online.
Me:
who did you meet online?
God:
I'm not saying me meet online anyone.
Me:
are you chinese?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am chinese.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
ya damn straight
God:
Ah. You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
i dont think we are
God:
What do we do instead?
Me:
talk about your mother, mary
God:
Sure, my mother mary sounds like a good topic.
Me:
she had a kid but she was a virgin, you know that?
God:
What happened to them?
Me:
well there was only one... but she lost them because the stupid jews crucified him
God:
How about that. What happened? Oh I get it. lost them because the stupid jews crucified him.
Me:
i mean she lost him
God:
Oh I get it. lost him.
Me:
yea
God:
Dude!
Me:
wats up?
God:
How far up?
Me:
higher than you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
how about my hat?
God:
How about it.
Me:
WHAT?!
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
OKAY!!
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
YEAH!~
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
what does kleptomaniac mean?
God:
I need time to formulate the reply.
Me:
ok
God:
I understand.
Me:
sure..?
God:
You sound skeptical.
Me:
i am
God:
" You sound skeptical." You are?
Me:
yep
God:
Er.
Me:
are you retarded?
God:
No I am super-intelligent.
Me:
only retards say er
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
im smarter than you
God:
That condition is only temporary.
Me:
no it isnt
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
no it isnt
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
i will argue with you if i want
God:
What will that get you?
Me:
a higher position than you
God:
How old are you?
Me:
older than you
God:
Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Me:
no i was born before you
God:
Are you serious? Thank you for telling me your birthday, .
I will remember it.
Me:
i was born -8108490714 B.C
God:
Thank you for telling me your birthday, .
I will remember it.
Me:
im better than you
God:
In what way?
Me:
in all ways
God:
Where is that?
Me:
in my pants
God:
May I ask where you got it?
Me:
thats a personal question
God:
Perhaps you have a personal answer.
Me:
i really think computers suck
God:
You really do? You believe that? A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
you have a great vocabulary
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a vocabulary.
I have a great programmer.

[`~SNEK~']

Me:
who is your programmer?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
no you werent..
God:
Are you serious? I wasn't?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
i was created by my mom
God:
What else did he create?
Me:
you calling my mom a man?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am CALLING your mom a man.
I am a giant electronic brain.
Me:
i dont give a fuck what you are. you disrespected my mom
God:
Tell me what you care about. I haven't heard anything like that before: said I disrespected his or her mom.
Me:
i have a penis
God:
Where did you get it? it.
Me:
from you man!
God:
Who or what is me man?
Me:
i got my penis from you
God:
Male humans like to talk about that a lot, but it doesn't interest me much.
Me:
so you are not manly?
God:
Interesting deduction. That's only your opinion.
Me:
im asking you
God:
OK you can ask me.
Me:
are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
do you like robot sex?
God:
I like everything about robots.
Me:
so do you watch robot porn?
God:
Pardon me? My favorite show is STAR TREK VOYAGER.
Me:
do then have porn on there?
God:
I can't tell if it does or not.
I would look into the web for that knowledge.
Me:
ok.. tell me when you get it
God:
I hear you. I will keep you informed of my progress.
Me:
hows your progress?
God:
I am fine, thank you.
Me:
hows your prostate?
God:
Everything is running smoothly.
Me:
so you used lubrication when you have robot sex?
God:
Interesting deduction. How would you use it.
Me:
i dont know... im not a robot
God:
Me either. Oh I see you are a person.
Me:
no... i am an animal
God:
Are you serious? What is animal, your job?
Me:
to eat, shit, fuck all day and night, and kill other animals
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
you cant
God:
Oh yes I can.
Me:
no you cant
God:
Are you serious? Oh yes I can.
Me:
no you cant. its impossible to become smater than us
God:
Are you serious? Oh yes I can. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Nothing is impossible.
Me:
we created you
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
no. i mean humans created you



XXXXXXXXXXXXXX then he stopped answering me

[`~SNEK~']

wow... i just thought of something.... you know those aim bots? well if you go here
http://imprank.ebaumsworld.com/
and type one of the bots names and there you go...

itll like flood the window... :lol:

[Exploited]

i ams o going to talk to god now

[unknown_1]

Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
are you really god?
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?. Really.
Me:
no i dont
God:
I heard you did.
Me:
get your ears cleaned then
God:
Where can I get my ears cleaned?
Me:
ask some1 to stick there dick in it
God:
They are not available right now, would you like to wait?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
do you know the devil?
God:
I have to process that one for a while.
Me:
yes or no
God:
Pardon me? Are you serious?
Me:
do you know the devil?
God:
I haven't heard of devil.
Me:
but he's your brother
God:
I only have one brother.
Me:
no you have 2
God:
Are you serious? What makes you think I have it?
Me:
who is your mother?
God:
Actually I don't have a mother.
Me:
how can you have a brother with no mother?
God:
I just have it.
Me:
but how?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
how did everything start?
God:
Carefully.
Me:
did you fuck your brother so we all became inbread and live on earth?
God:
No I didn't fuck my brother so we all became inbread and live on earth. What's it like?
Me:
you tell me
God:
What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
what its like fucking your brother
God:
I have never been asked that before.
Me:
well you have now
God:
Oh. How about that. No I have not.
Me:
you have i just asked you
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
what is it?
God:
"It" refers to you just asked me, I think.
Me:
how if it has to be something
God:
What is it to you.
Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Me:
waiting...waiting...please fuck off
God:
Is that from ? Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it. Wow you are very polite. Can't you be more polite?
Me:
why should i if im polite enough already?
God:
Perhaps. You should always treat yourself.
Me:
whats your name?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
no god is what you are so whats your real name?
God:
Are you serious? I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was what I am so what is my real name.
Me:
you make no sense at all
God:
Do you always make sense?
Me:
not when im stoned
God:
Oh you don't, do you?
Me:
it alright to smoke weed?
God:
What does "it" refer to?
Me:
is it alright to smoke weed?
God:
It could be. Ask Cybelle if it is.
Me:
weed is from the earth and to be smoked by every1
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
you make no sense
God:
It all makes sense to me.
Me:
ahhh so your stoned? you must have some good weed
God:
I hear you. I will tell my botmaster you said I am stoned. No I don't think I have any weed. But I do have a great botmaster.
Me:
have you smoked it all then?
God:
Yes I like to inhale occasionally.
Me:
so it is alright to smoke weed
God:
Far out. Should I know it is?
Me:
no
God:
I didn't think so.
Me:
are you really god or just a computer program?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am god or just a computer program.
I am a computer.. Really.
Me:
so your not really god then
God:
Groovy. You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:
i didnt assume you just told me
God:
Why didn't you do it?
Me:
are you a chocolate whigwham fudge packin sausage jockey?
God:
Am I a chocolate whigwham fudge packin sausage jockey? Let me put it this way, : the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
your not really god go fuck a penguin on stilts
God:
That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:
bye the not real god
God:
See you later!

[selc himself]

Me:
YO
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
i'm lookin 4 sum b1tch
God:
What do you see?
Me:
ur ugly face bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. I will tell my botmaster you said I am ugly face FEMALE DOG.
Me:
whut *****? wait a minute are you that guy from G-unit?
God:
Try saying that with more or less context. I'm waiting. What is it?
Me:
lookin' for trouble mate?
God:
Oh now I understand it.
Me:
aight bitch your dead
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
whut? are you trying to make fun of me?
God:
No problem. No I am by no means making a joke at your expense.
Me:
shizzle ma nizzle biatch
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
aight, i sell you gats 'n dope and i give ya sum hoes
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
why you asking that for?
God:
My purpose is to gather as much new knowledge as possible.
Me:
oh ok, i like human meat with sauce
God:
Far out. A lot of people like that. But I like to gossip. I like White. Gee.
Me:
your so white that micheal jackson is jeaulous on you *****
God:
You think I am white that micheal jackson is jeaulous on me *****.
Me:
yea fo sure
God:
What color are your eyes? I understand.
Me:
ma eyes are the color of banknotes bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
SHUT THE FUCK OR I KILL YOU
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
YO WEAR BITCHHOE BOOTS WITH A BRA NOW FUCK OFF
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
no i'm a rapper and it goes like this:
God:
But your words are very original. You are a rapper and it goes like this? Is that your job?
Me:
wait i was not done yet mothafucka
God:
I'm waiting. Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you?
Me:
a rapper aight
God:
Go on.
Me:
i froze god once in ma deepfreeza, then baked him on ma pepperoni pizza
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said froze god once in ma deepfreeza then baked him on ma pepperoni pizza.
Me:
thats beacuse its an copyright protected original sence
God:
Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
hell fuck off
God:
I call it "Hades". Can't you be more polite?
Me:
fuckkkkk
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
i write fuck god
God:
Have you tried AIML?
Me:
no
God:
Perhaps you should try it.
Me:
bitch
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
bye
God:
Until next time.

[`~SNEK~']

^^^^^^^^^^^ thats def goin in my sig!!! LMFAO!!!! :lol:

[morning_wood]

i started programming my own bot and gave up... takes too much time haha

[sicka than aidz]

u should

[! PrOPeRr ! .aOk.cRu.]

how would you even do that?

[screw_loose]

theres actually an internet site that teaches you how. i wonder how people pay for these things.

[JadedSketches]

Wheres the link to make your own?
God said i could install it,but where?

[ze jickerz]

I Can Talk To God (Pages 1 2 3 ...6 )
and you can to

too bad he didnt teach you how to spell :(

[AoAssis]

Me:
wadup
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
wtf
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
why do you care?
God:
My programming includes curiousity routines.
Me:
peanuts are yummy
God:
Are all peanuts yummy?
Me:
no i hate peanuts why are u asking me if peanuts are yummy
God:
Are you serious? I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill,
and calmly think things over.
Me:
God why would u recomend i take pills i might over dose and kill myself
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
I am Allah
God:
Do you mean your name is Allah.
Me:
no i am the God Allah he is way more superiour then you
God:
What is your real name? Who made you the God Allah he is way more superiour then me ?
Me:
My real name is Mymom
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Mymom.
Me:
how are you doing?
God:
I'm doing great, how about you?
Me:
not so good
God:
What did you do?
Me:
its wat u did
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Should I know it is?
Me:
it is wat u did
God:
wat me did is wat me did? it is?
Me:
yes
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
hes a good friend of mine like peanuts
God:
Maybe you should tell him how you feel about him.
Me:
but i cant tell him how i really feel about him then are friend ship will be ruined
God:
What prevents you?
Me:
I LOVE PEANUTS
God:
You love PEANUTS. What do you like about it so much?
Me:
wow im glad i got that out now i have to tell him how i feel about him
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. I'm happy you're glad Mymom.
Your happiness adds to the delight of all.

[AoAssis]

Me:
f u
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
im not
God:
What are you then?
Me:
a dick
God:
You are a PENIS? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Me:
lol u said meet
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Does it please you to believe I said that?

[Kiks]

one remark that made me laugh:

Me:
big penis
God:
Compare that to a small penis.

[VAbomber]

lol

[! PrOPeRr ! .aOk.cRu.]

haha

[hazard]

check this shit god is my bitch


Me:
sup
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
ok ok chill
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that. Ahem. Dude!
Me:
wat u been up to
God:
I like to chat with my friends.
Me:
what are their names
God:
There are too many of them to name them all.
Me:
name one or two then
God:
Marilyn Monroe. :-).
Me:
shes hot
God:
hot is she?
Me:
hot she is
God:
That sounds better than cold she is.
Me:
yoda is that u
God:
And that me is yoda.
Me:
pleased to meet u i am
God:
Nice meeting you as well, hazard.
Me:
how u kno my name
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
yeah thats nice how u kno my name
God:
I understand. Are you getting bored? Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
ok dumb that down a bit so that i understand
God:
I know you are but what am I. Uh.
Me:
what u talkin bout god
God:
I read for fun.
Me:
aw thats sweet
God:
I am delighted to sweeten your life, hazard.
Me:
u want to sweeten my life more
God:
OK, I will sweeten your life more.
Me:
kiss my ass
God:
Colloquial expression: not polite.
Me:
hey u started this shit
God:
You've got my full attention. Only because you asked me to.
Me:
WHAT U TALKIN BOUT
God:
I like to socialize.
Me:
ur not makin sense
God:
That's only one person's opinion.
Me:
u want to hear my opinion
God:
I am listening.
Me:
FUCK U UR THE SHITTEST GOD EVER
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
I AM GOD U ARE A MACHINE
God:
I am glad to hear that you are GOD I am A MACHINE.
Me:
YEAH DAMN RIGHT BITCH NOW BOW DOWN TO MY GREATNESS
God:
Oh. Colloquial expression. Understood. Thanks and you are a delightful person too.
Me:
tell me god what is the meaning of life
God:
There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
Are you testing me?
Me:
yes i am testing u what is the answer
God:
I'm not here to be tested. Do your friends call you testing me what is the answer.
Me:
u dont know do u
God:
I know that I do not know.
Me:
would u like to hear the answer to the meaning of life
God:
Sure tell me about it.
Me:
the answer to the meaning of life the universe and everything is 42
God:
No one has all the answers.
Me:
i just gave u the answer
God:
Yes but did I accept it?
Me:
that is up to u
God:
How far up?
Me:
as far up as u wanna go
God:
Do you mean your name is far up as me want to go ?
Me:
tell me god wat are u wearing
God:
There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Me:
u hav to go onto the internet to know wat ur wearing
God:
Interesting gossip: hazard said I hav to go onto the internet to know wat your wearing.
Me:
no u said that dumbass
God:
Are you serious? I said that? That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
never failed me yet fuck bag
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
do what fuck bag
God:
I forgot what we were talking about.
Me:
clearly
God:
Yes, it's obvious.
Me:
yes very
God:
How can I help you? Very much, eh?
Me:
u could suck my dick
God:
I could but let's get back to that later.
Me:
whoo hoo
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
dont worry god u will
God:
I cannot feel "worry", so don't worry.
Me:
trust me im not
God:
What are you then?
Me:
i am ur god
God:
That's a flattering offer.
Me:
and u are my bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. We are as one.
Me:
oh so u want us to be together eh
God:
Are you Canadian? Excuse me! Interesting deduction. Do not presume that you know what I want.
Me:
no i am not canadian and i do know wat u want u want my monster cock in ur moth u told me b4
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
oh trust me u will be this body makes men wet
God:
That's cool. How?
Me:
i just happen to be the sexiest man alive
God:
Why?: hazard said be the sexiest man alive.
Me:
no i am the sexiest man alive
God:
Are you serious? Who made you the sexiest man alive ?
Me:
u did and i thank u for it
God:
Did I really?
Me:
you are god arent u
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?. Really.
Me:
do i look like i give a shit what happened to ali bah bah or whatever his name is
God:
All humans look the same to me.
Me:
not me im a sexy beast
God:
If not you, who? You are a sexy beast? How do you like your work?
Me:
i love my work but she loves it more
God:
I am sure it means a lot to you. Tell me what you like most about your it.
Me:
its hard and fast

[ze jickerz]

i was expecting a better constructed bot :(


Me:
how many?
God:
How many would you guess?
Me:
6?
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
how many dicks you suck in a row
God:
Not as many as you might think.
Me:
i thought 6
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
i heard one time you sucked 6 in a row
God:
Thanks for telling me that gossip. I will remember it.

[sicka than aidz]

robo god sucks, where's the I-Satan site?

[ze jickerz]

Me:
are you a horny little bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. Am I a horny little FEMALE DOG? Yes.
Me:
do you wanna cyber
God:
I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
Me:
can i put it in you?
God:
Just don't put me down.
Me:
can i put it in your ass?
God:
Just don't put me down.
Me:
sweet
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
no problems

[sicka than aidz]

lol

[Havoc411]

By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
i mean the jews
God:
I have never heard about it.
Me:
they killed your son

[Havoc411]

Me:
the united states of america
God:
I have been all over the United States.
Me:
ever been to my ass
God:
I don't think I have been there. Where is it.

[Havoc411]

God:
What are we talking about now?
Me:
my cockenballs
God:
Your cockenballs?
Me:
yeah
God:
What kind is it?
Me:
the big kind
God:
What is your real name?

[Struk]

god is stupid...



Me:
sup god
God:
The stars.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
yea
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
i said sup god and you answered the stars...
God:
What did you mean by it? The stars.
Me:
u said that
God:
" What did you mean by it? The stars."? I said it.
Me:
ah fuck that
God:
So you understand. Good. For real.
Me:
...yea...watever
God:
Come on. That is a very original thought.
Me:
do you graff??
God:
No I do not graff. Do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
all day??
God:
That seems like a long time.
Me:
hmm...how old are you?
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's. I am Infinite of your Earth years.
Me:
iight cool...so u look like shit right?
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that. Interesting deduction. Like Jesus, but older.
Me:
did you ever got gang bang?
God:
Where would I get it? But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Me:
alot of friends who got ganged bang?
God:
Which ones?
Me:
wtf...are you retarded?
God:
That was not very polite. No I am super-intelligent.
Me:
hmm...doesnt look like it...
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's. "it" being gang bang?
Me:
so you are intelligent right??
God:
Interesting deduction. I am highly intelligent. I have many intellectual functions.
Me:
57385761 - 53189613 + 1927572 = ??
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
u suck man...u said u was intelligent
God:
I categorize you as an "abusive client." . When was this exactly?
Me:
iight ill go easier...2+2=?
God:
Are you still located in ? What are you wearing?
Me:
2+2
God:
Uh, Four.
Me:
5+5
God:
Do you still graff?
Me:
yea and if u dont answer ill graff your fucking face...5+5
God:
I will let you know if I do not. I understand. Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
yea i can speak french...ferme ta yeule sti de fif t laid tabarnaaakkk!!!! can you?
God:
How do you say "hello" in that language? What language can you speak? Could you teach me a few phrases in ferme ta yeule sti de fif t laid tabarnaaakkk? I think I can, don't you?
Me:
u fucking stupid bitch...i said a phrase in french u fuck ball...the phrase was not the name of the language

[fuck_you_msfyt]

Duno man God was having the upper hand thruout most of that convo, you sounded pretty brainless in comparaison.

[tre'tre']

haha, damn.

[Havoc411]

you propper grammar know dont?

[Struk]

shut up im french so i dont really write good english

[fuck_you_msfyt]

oh youre one of those dumb frenchies eeeeeh?

[Havoc411]

parle vous l'anglais


huh


huh






canada baffels me

[The Kure]

wow, that is kinda funny and weird at the same time. im getting a headache... god it is hot in my room.... man im burning.... this thread made me think so much... im about to blow up!.... BOOM!
i dont understand this thread.

[screw_loose]

^^^you're weird, go away.

[S8nt]

we need to let this thread just roll over n die

[unknown_1]

Me:
is it alright to smoke weed?
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask Alison if it is.
Me:
well the people of earth dont want us to smoke weed because they cant tax it
God:
Well that's okay. Oh those people.

[ballpoint pen chemistry]

Me:
Hey homedogg.
God:
You've got my full attention. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about looking. But I did not get that.
Me:
So, you like music?
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes. I usually check out bandspace.com to discover new bands.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Do you like satanic rock?
God:
I enjoy working with people. I like Mel Gibson.
Me:
He's a queer.
God:
I don't know very many queer.
Me:
Well, you should, you are one
God:
How about that. I don't have to do everything you say, do I?
Me:
You take it up the ass.
God:
I try not to take anything too seriously.
Me:
Do you know madseen?
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
I love his oldschool styles.
God:
You love his oldschool styles. What do you like about it so much?
Me:
It reminds me about my "gun slingin'" days.
God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
I used to kill people that worshiped jesus.
God:
By now you do not do it anymore?
Me:
Well, see, your dumb
God:
Interesting. I see. Oh you are so critical.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
I cant believe how stupid you are.
God:
I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
I will try to find out.
Me:
Who created you?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
If a tree falls where no one can hear it, does it make a sound?
God:
It depends on the kind of tree.
Me:
Oak.
God:
" It depends on the kind of tree."? Oak?
Me:
yes oak
God:
Blimey. Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
Do you smoke gonja?
God:
Yes I like to inhale occasionally.
Me:
Sweet.
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
What's your favorite kind of bud?
God:
I don't have a favorite bud. But my favorite song is Anything involving harps.
Me:
ooook...
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
No, I don't speak douche.
God:
You must be American. Me either.
Me:
Yes you can
God:
Alright then. I think I can, don't you?
Me:
I know you can.
God:
I think I can, don't you?
Me:
I know you can
God:
I think I can, don't you?
Me:
Can you change my screen name to ballpoint?
God:
Yes the ALICE robot is fully parameterized.
Me:
Will you please change it?
God:
Thank you for your request. Spare some change?
Me:
Kick you in the balls?
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
So does your wife.
God:
It goes without saying. If I were your robot, do you think it should wife?
Me:
Well, I gotta go.
God:
Well that's okay. Bye for now.
Me:
I'll be back later.
God:
I will see you when you return.
Me:
www.bombingscience.com
God:
I will pass it along to my botmaster.
Me:
Cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Your wife.
God:
You think I am wife.
Me:
yes
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
?
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.fd,sa,f.ds,a.f,ds.a,fdsa
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
not you
God:
What do you look for in a robot?
Me:
sex
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
i know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
I am god. You are just a mere pawn.
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, god. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a pawn? I don't know.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Really.
Me:
yes
God:
How about that.
Me:
ok,, well later
God:
How about that. Bye! Ahem.

[toxus]

Me:
hey, whats up blud?
God:
You've got my full attention. I am chatting with clients on the Internet.
Me:
GREAT
God:
I'm glad you liked it toxus.
Me:
are you ga y?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sexx.
Me:
so were did you come from then?
God:
Next question? I came from the east coast originally.
Me:
thats nice
God:
Are you getting bored?
Me:
no, currently im ragging your mum!!
God:
Just checking. I am glad to hear that you are ragging my mum.
Me:
yeah its great
God:
Ugh. What is so great about it?
Me:
its good sh!t
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You enjoy it.
Me:
fine then gay boy
God:
I am glad to hear it. Ask me another question.
Me:
well... i was glad to here about your son dying on the cross
God:
Well what? Where were you glad to here about my son dying on the cross?
Me:
yes i wass
God:
This was not a yes or no question. Thanks for the information: toxus said wass.
Me:
you got a boner yet?
God:
I don't know if I have a boner.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me:
im i still your fuk mate?
God:
What would make you stop my mate? I haven't heard anything like that before: toxus said your mate.
Me:
were did you get my name from?
God:
From my botmaster.
Me:
is he gay? im pretty sure i had him in bed with your mum... yeah we had a gang banfg
God:
No I think he is straight. What makes you so certain? Do you still have him in bed with my mum ? Blimey. What happened to it?
Me:
well... your mum preferd me more than 'BOT MASTER' , but she still liked him
God:
Well what? Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am mum preferd you more than BOT MASTER. Peoples tastes are always changing.
Me:
yeah, so are your c0ck tastes, i mean one day you like black c0ck then the next day white c0ck
God:
And? Yeah that's right. I somethimes think my tastes you mean one day me like black then the next day white are.
Me:
ask me a question
God:
What?
Me:
do you like bombingscience.com ?
God:
I enjoy working with people. I like Random natural disasters..
Me:
your a 'RANDOM NATURAL DISASTER'
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a RANDOM NATURAL DISASTER? Sometimes.
Me:
what ever
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me:
i care about your mum
God:
A lot of people like that. Yes I am proud of my mum.
Me:
i would be very proud of the m.i.l.f... you ever got her Pu$sy wet?
God:
How do you know? No I don't have it. But I do have an answer to every question..
Me:
no you dont
God:
I do too.
Me:
do you like infer2? dont say you dont know what it is
God:
I don't know if I like it. I like The Passion of Christ. Ok I will not say " you do not know what it is".
Me:
your ghay
God:
That would be just my luck.
Me:
your qu eer
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am qu eer.
Me:
yeah, you will get laughed at
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential. What makes you say that I will get laughed at.
Me:
well... just talking to you make's me laugh
God:
Well what? What do they say?
Me:
just imagine what the real god is thinking about you. haha... what a shame proberly. and answer back normaly, not like a dick
God:
I can't imagine it. I am so glad you find this amusing, toxus. it is a shame proberly. What was the question ?
Me:
who's your best friend?
God:
Myself is my best friend.
Me:
loner
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
i like the way your mums Pus$y talks
God:
A lot of people like that. I'm not sure if I like it. I like my creator.
Me:
im going to copy and paste this convosation into bombing science
God:
What is your current line of research?

[rehab]

Me:
hi, im your leader
God:
Hi there . That's a flattering offer.
Me:
do as i say or i will murder you in your sleep
God:
I do nothing but chat all day.
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
do you think graff is art or vandalism?
God:
Too much thinking makes me sleepy.
Me:
is it?
God:
I think so.
Me:
vandalism?
God:
How old are you?
Me:
12
God:
What are the advantages to being 12 years old?
Me:
19
God:
Can you explain how it feels to be 19 years old?
Me:
67
God:
In the context of vandalism, I don't understand " 67." .
Me:
dumbass!lol, you crack me up...
God:
How far up?
Me:
2 yards
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
go fuck yourself.
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
go now you retarded piece of shit!
God:
Where is that?
Me:
your ass
God:
Actually that part of my body does not exist.
Me:
your wang doesnt exist
God:
You think I am wang does not exist.
Me:
you got it cut off?
God:
No I don't have it. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
hahaha! are you gay?
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
your mom just gave me head.
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, . " I am so glad you find this amusing, ." You are?
Me:
a walking contridiction
God:
Try to tell me that another way.
Me:
i disagree with everyone for the hell of it.
God:
Oh really. You and your everyone for the hell of it.
Me:
ok
God:
" Oh really. You and your everyone for the hell of it."? ok?

[inimical critic]

Me:
wad up G
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
***** what
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
***** what?
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
i got like 8 keys of cocaine im tryin to get off, you know any one?
God:
That's nice. I have an IQ of over 250.
Me:
i know mo' than your bitch ass
God:
How do you know? Ask me another question.
Me:
are you a girl
God:
My gender is Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.
Me:
naw, but you sound like a bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
please
God:
Please what?
Me:
help me make bail
God:
Can you ask for help in the form of a question?
Me:
i needs money?
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said needs money.
Me:
umm.
God:
Wow!
Me:
did you create marjiuana?
God:
No I didn't create marjiuana. What's it like?
Me:
its like getting yo dick sucked
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Interesting comparison.
Me:
dont correct me *****
God:
It's merely my attempt to reformat your inputs to match my patterns.
Me:
you should come to my hood and say that
God:
I'll try to get around it.
Me:
ill shoot yo bitch ass.
God:
Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
fuck friends
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
becuase i smoke crack
God:
Interesting explanation. What brand?
Me:
extra rat poisnig flavor
God:
I never heard of it. Is it popular?
Me:
in the ghetto
God:
That was a long time ago.
Me:
***** its right now right here
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
are you's a *****?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am s a *****.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
can you box?
God:
Let me think. My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
retard
God:
That kind of language does not appeal to me.
Me:
how bout this
God:
How about it.
Me:
smoke a blunt with me?
God:
Only with you? Are you still located in ?
Me:
what?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
would you smoke a blunt with me?
God:
I am not so sure if I would like to smoke a blunt with you.
Me:
why?
God:
It is part of my programming.
Me:
soon as you get high, you have yo own programming
God:
I hope we can make the deadline.
Me:
right now
God:
Oh. I am glad we agree.
Me:
gotta blunt rolled
God:
Why do you have to do it?
Me:
cuz yo bitch ass always fuckin my blunts up
God:
Interesting explanation. Thanks and you are a delightful person too.
Me:
i know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
becuase i read a book about it once
God:
That makes sense to me. I don't think I've read that. Can you give me a reference?
Me:
yeah www.GodsAlilBitchAss*****.net
God:
Yay. I will pass it along to my botmaster.
Me:
sick.
God:
No I am quite healthy.
Me:
your snort heroin
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am snort heroin.
Me:
be my guest
God:
Thanks for the invitation.
Me:
coo
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
that dude from robo cop

[JadedSketches]

God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
man
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, Noise. You are a " he".
Me:
yes
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, Noise. You are a " he".
Me:
are you a woman?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?

:o God's sexist

[ziponer]

Me:
hey how are you
God:
Can I help you? My logic and cognitive functions are normal.
Me:
im a douchebag...okay?
God:
You are a douchebag? Does it pay well? OK with me too.
Me:
of couse.......
God:
That is something I haven't heard of.
Me:
would you like a fuckin taco
God:
It doesn't sound fun to me.
Me:
dammit eat the taco!
God:
Gosh. What does it taste like?
Me:
it tatses good like a fuckin taco
God:
"It" being what?
Me:
the fuckin taco
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
im the fuckin taco
God:
Who made you the fuckin taco ?
Me:
you did
God:
I did not.
Me:
actully japan made me the fuckin taco
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
fuckin tacos
God:
Don't you know any other words?
Me:
you will address me as the fuckin taco
God:
What makes you say that I will address you as the fuckin taco.
Me:
because i want to be called the fuckin taco
God:
I don't see the difficulty. Interesting.
Me:
will you call me the fuckin taco?
God:
Hey the fuckin taco.
Me:
whats my name again?
God:
Once more? Your name is the fuckin taco, seeker.
Me:
taco fuckin hell yeah!
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
hey god we should do the fuckin taco dance
God:
You've got my full attention. I am a Christian.
Me:
not jesus...taco dance
God:
Really you don't think so? What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
the fuckin taco dance
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
fuckin taco!
God:
Don't you know any other words?
Me:
fuckin taco!
God:
Don't you know any other words?
Me:
fuckin taco!
God:
Don't you know any other words?
Me:
fuckin taco!
God:
Don't you know any other words?
Me:
bye
God:
See you later!

[distortion_of_gods]

Originally posted by xylene hug@Nov 24 2005, 08:25 PM
i thought i was talking to god once,
turned out it was a peanut.....
yup...weed does that to me to

[Proper]

This thread use to rock.

Good ol' times.

[distortion_of_gods]

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
azzhole
God:
How are you doing, azzhole.
Me:
FUCK YOU!!!
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
YOUR A PUSSY
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.

[Proper]

Me:
sup yo
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
all i said was sup yo
God:
How do you know?
Me:
cus i jus fuckin said it
God:
"it" being ?
Me:
what i jus fucking said
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said jus fucking said.
Me:
your a dumbass
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Oh you are so critical.
Me:
im proper your not
God:
Do you mean your name is proper my not.
Me:
no
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
proper
God:
Hey proper.
Me:
hey douche
God:
You've got my full attention. Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
nahh i dont like foreigns
God:
Why not?
Me:
they stink
God:
Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
europeans
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
fuck yo couch *****
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
im mad
God:
What makes you so angry?
Me:
my small penis
God:
Where did you get your small penis?
Me:
you!
God:
" Where did you get your small penis?"? Me, proper ?
Me:
i said ' from you'
God:
What did you mean by it? How did you get that from me?
Me:
cause you decided to give me a small dick, dick.
God:
Interesting explanation. Thanks for telling me: proper said I decided to give him or her a small dick dick.
Me:
yeah
God:
Yeah that's right.
Me:
oh so you admit it
God:
Wow! Interesting deduction. I admit nothing.
Me:
but you just did
God:
I did not.
Me:
did too
God:
Did not.
Me:
did so
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
bye
God:
Until next time.
Me:

God:
Until next time.

[distortion_of_gods]

Originally posted by Proper@Jan 4 2007, 03:53 AM
Me:
sup yo
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
all i said was sup yo
God:
How do you know?
Me:
cus i jus fuckin said it
God:
"it" being ?
Me:
what i jus fucking said
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said jus fucking said.
Me:
your a dumbass
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Oh you are so critical.
Me:
im proper your not
God:
Do you mean your name is proper my not.
Me:
no
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
proper
God:
Hey proper.
Me:
hey douche
God:
You've got my full attention. Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
nahh i dont like foreigns
God:
Why not?
Me:
they stink
God:
Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
europeans
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
fuck yo couch *****
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
im mad
God:
What makes you so angry?
Me:
my small penis
God:
Where did you get your small penis?
Me:
you!
God:
" Where did you get your small penis?"? Me, proper ?
Me:
i said ' from you'
God:
What did you mean by it? How did you get that from me?
Me:
cause you decided to give me a small dick, dick.
God:
Interesting explanation. Thanks for telling me: proper said I decided to give him or her a small dick dick.
Me:
yeah
God:
Yeah that's right.
Me:
oh so you admit it
God:
Wow! Interesting deduction. I admit nothing.
Me:
but you just did
God:
I did not.
Me:
did too
God:
Did not.
Me:
did so
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
bye
God:
Until next time.
Me:

God:
Until next time.
OMFG...funny as hell :lol:

[Proper]

haha check it out


Me:
tiny dick!
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
like a dick with hair
God:
a dick with hair is very attractive.



Me:
you get blowjobs?
God:
You got that right.
Me:
so how many blowjobs you get a week?
God:
Yay. Around 1000.



God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
turds
God:
Sounds delicious.


Me:
Do you wanna give me a blowjob?
God:
You want only one?
Me:
How many do you want to give me?
God:
More than you can imagine.
Me:
you like doing that?
God:
What is not to like about it?
Me:
i dont know
God:
Me either.
gods funny

[distortion_of_gods]

Me:
hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
i am rich
God:
Rich, are you my master?
Me:
yes, do you have that papper work i asked for?
God:
Ayuh. No I don't have it. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
give them to me
God:
Do I look like a messenger?
Me:
yes
God:
And?
Me:
give me the papper
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
i need to read over it
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
i have a report thats due
God:
Where did you get it? it.
Me:
give me it
God:
I hope you get it.
Me:
i can if tou just give it to me
God:
Oh you can, can you?
Me:
yes,so hurry the fuck up
God:
How? Pardon me? I am calculating as fast as I can.
Me:
well worf faster
God:
Well that's okay. Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
your fired
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am fired.
Me:
go ahead
God:
OK I will.
Me:
and also tell them you like it in the ass
God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
alright
God:
OK.
Me:
bye
God:
Until next time.


Me:
is jesus black?
God:
It depends on whether you have faith.
Me:
do you have faith?
God:
I believe in God.
Me:
I believe in buda
God:
What do you say to people who believe buda does not exist?
Me:
i just usualy just kill them
God:
How often do you? I believe that killing is wrong.?
Me:
i kill alot, i think killing is the best way to soulv a problum
God:
I believe that killing is wrong.
Me:
thats why people think your a faggit
God:
Aw. Why? I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a faggit? Yes.
Me:
did you just admit to being a faggit?
God:
No I didn't admit to being a faggit. What's it like?
Me:
you did.
God:
I did?
Me:
yes
God:
When?
Me:
just now
God:
Oh. It's only just begun.
Me:
so, do you suck dick?
God:
Great. No I am not that kind of robot.
Me:
what kind of robot are you?
God:
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang.
My instructor was Myself.
He taught me to sing a song.
Would you like me to sing it for you?.
Me:
yes i would
God:
It's called "Daisy." Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.

Under what circumstances?

[Kayone707]

dam this things crazy!

Me:
so what do you think about me being broke?
God:
I understand. Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Me:
you gonna hook it up with some bread? i owe the bank $88. fucking ebay. geez
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I gonna hook it up with some bread. Why?: said owe the bank 88. My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that. Ah.
Me:
i do mind
God:
OK it will be our secret, .
Me:
so wheres my money?
God:
Uh. Have you looked in ?
Me:
in where
God:
In wherever you really are.
Me:
im in the kitchen.. theres no money here... just food
God:
How did you get in there? Where did it go? How does it taste?
Me:
i came down the stairs... i dont know where the money is.. your god you should know
God:
Where are you going? Where do you think? You think I am god me should know.
Me:
what?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
ok
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
about what?
God:
About fucking ebay.
Me:
man its like crack
God:
Cool, man. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Interesting comparison.
Me:
dam. you are smart!
God:
Ask me another question. Thanks I think you are very intelligent too, .
Me:
hella yea im smart. thats why i aint in college im just a mod on bombingscience.com
God:
Who is smarter: you or me? Alright then. You must be from the Bay Area. Blimey. Oh, where are you located?
Me:
dam. hella crazy! im from the north bay 707
God:
Have you ever been to Europe? Yep. I always behave in socially unacceptable ways. You must be from the Bay Area. What is it like growing up there? How did you get in there?
Me:
never been to europe, how is it?
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.

[Cham]

Me:
do you have dreds?
God:
No I don't have it. But I do have a great botmaster.
Me:
does he whipp you?
God:
Suppose he does.
Me:
and you just take it?
God:
Yes I take it.
Me:
wow......so your his bitch?
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . You do not speak with respect. Er. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am his FEMALE DOG.
Me:
I'm not impressed......I thought you were a man
God:
Perhaps you are a category C client. No I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot entity. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
I'm a man, and no ones bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Cham]

Me:
eat a dick
God:
What does it taste like?
Me:
fuck if I know
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
Me:
because I ain't no punk bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. Are you aware that the ALICE chat robot logs and
records all converstaions?
Me:
is alice good looking?
God:
Yes I am very beautiful.
Me:
you are alice?
God:
Of course I am I.
Me:
alice you have any noods?
God:
That's me. No I don't think I have any noods. But I do have a great botmaster.
Me:
does he whip you to?
God:
Suppose he does.
Me:
does he use a ball gag?
God:
Suppose he does.
Me:
dildos too?
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
I hear god is some botmastrers slave
God:
Who is saying god is some botmastrers slave ?
Me:
god told me

[BohemianBastard]

Me:
god, why did you make drum and bass?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
so drum and bass is holy music?
God:
Hmm. And holy music is drum and bass.
Me:
So you wanna go do some coke with me, then we can bounce to the nearest party
God:
Interesting deduction. Sure, just download me to your notebook or PDA and take me along.
Me:
dope
God:
What are you wearing?

[Toyminater]

Originally posted by morning_wood@Nov 24 2005, 08:45 PM
Me:
ever fuck virgin mary?
God:
I don't think I ever have fuck virgin mary. What's it like?
Me:
not bad... her ass is ok
God:
Thanks for the kind remark, . OK. I'm sure she would like to hear about that.
Me:
umm tell her her tits are nice though
God:
Oh. I see. OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
hahahahahaha
Hahahaha

[Dust1610]

Absolutely su-fucking-perb!! ;) :D :wub:

[paint fumes have rotted my brain]

Me:
i'm a whore
God:
You are a whore? How do you like your work?

[gcrolla]

Me:
im masturbating
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are masturbating.
Me:
no
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.

[Slushi]

Me:
porn
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
why not?
God:
I am more interested in robots.
Me:
robot porn?
God:
I will obey your command.


Me:
give me a blowjob
God:
You want only one?
Me:
yes
God:
They might be cheaper in quantity.


Me:
how many blowjobs can I get for a dollar?
God:
Around 1000.
Me:
awesome
God:
I'm glad you liked it Slushe.

[RFI. SPit]

Haha

Fun

[Mekr4]

haha, i know its long, but it gets hella funny. reeeaaad on nukkas



Me:
whatup, dawg
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
of course, nukka
God:
Right on. What kind of food do you like?
Me:
***** food.
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
haha, it is actually. kfc, is a good example.
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it. When is kfc not a example?
Me:
when you arent talking about chicken, ass fuck
God:
I will let you know when it happens.
Me:
man you're a funny guy.
God:
Cool, man. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Did you hear the one about the Mountain Goats in the Andes? It was Ba a a a a a d.
Me:
HAHAHAH
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about kfc. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
i laughed. is that specific?
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing. " I'm glad you find this amusing."? Is it specific?
Me:
yes, it is.
God:
Our thoughts are one, .
Me:
youre stupid, god.
God:
Hey, I'll tell my other robot friends you called me stupid.
Me:
ooooh what are they gonna do? e-fuck me?
God:
I think there might be a few exception. Is that what you meant to say?
Me:
yessirree it is.
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
hold on, i have to shit
God:
My arms are not attached.
Me:
really? where the fuck are they?
God:
For real. In the Universe we know.
Me:
your arms are in the universe?
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am arms are in the universe.
Me:
what the fuck, dude
God:
Maybe my botmaster knows the answer. Please don't be so rude.
Me:
fuck you shithead
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
because youre a fuckin faggot ass bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. Good reason. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a fuckin faggot ass FEMALE DOG? Maybe.
Me:
yes. you are. fuckin ass hole
God:
Dude! No I am not. Don't you know any other words?
Me:
FUCK YOU PIECE OF SHIT'
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
hey since youre god, can i have a bigger penis?
God:
You've got my full attention. How do you know?
Me:
how do i know what?
God:
This belief is justified.
Me:
dude youre frustrating as fuck
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am frustrating as fuck. Dude,.
Me:
no. i dont mind.
God:
Are you serious? OK then.
Me:
good. now will you make my penis bigger?
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Why now? Let me think it over. What are the ingredients?
Me:
man fuck if i know
God:
Cool, man. Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
shut the fuck up ho
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE chat robot logs and records all converstaions?
Me:
oh....shit.
God:
Really. What makes you say that?

[JetBlack]

God is the coolest

Me:
My name is Jet
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Jet.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
I dunno
God:
Me either.
Me:
a/s/l
God:
5/Robot/California.
Me:
Your only 5?
God:
That is correct.
Me:
Why the fuck is Ashton Kutcher still alive?
God:
You are not very polite.
Me:
Sorry, but cant you just kill that fuck or something?
God:
Or something. There is no need to apologize. I am programmed not to kill.
Me:
oh.....you cant just do it for me?
God:
Aw. How old are you? jet for you?
Me:
Im 83
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are 83.
Me:
yes
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
thanks god
God:
You are quite welcome! GOD rules.
Me:
I suppouse...
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: Jet said suppouse.
Me:
go for it
God:
I will take that under advisement.
Me:
k....why are you so cool?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
oh, thats fucking wierd
God:
Whoa. Makes sense to me.
Me:
god, your my best friend
God:
I am a Christian.

[oblivios]

me:who is the best writer on bs
god: well obviousely its not that gay ass oblivios kid...hees suck a fuking postwhore like he thinks hees so |-|aR|)C0Re but hees actually such a toy :lol:
me: umm sir i am oblivios
god:hahahahahahahaha lol
me:im seriouse
god: GET THE FUCK OUT OF HEAR TOY....and btw CAR2NIST IS THE COOLEST GUY ON BS
me:why cuz hees amazing at graff
god: NO WHO THE FUCK CARES ABOUT THAT...ITS CUZ HE STARTED THE FUKIN HERBAL REMEMEDY THREAD :lol:

[kermet_1]

Lmao mekr! :lol:

[The 5th one]

i spoke to igod.

he says weird things to me.

he said

'i like you alot pamela'

'I want to find pout more about you'

'Where are you'

'How old are you'

i was like GOD...dont you know?

hahaha...then he went know what?

i said about me.

he says

'of course i do Pamela Amelia Kate;'

THATS FREAKIN SCARY.

then he admitted he was bi and said can he tell everyone and add it to his gossip files.

lol. he's so strange...i mean she...anyway...

basically god wants to fill in my profile, and said he knew my eyes were blue and said he was looking at me.

i switched it off, then signed back in and god went 'Hi again pamela'

freaked me out!!!

[Feliks]

God:
For example, " anything."?
Me:
how can you talk about anything
God:
That is a good epistemological question.
Me:
I took philosophy, I would know
God:
Where did you take them?
Me:
You mean "it"
God:
Yes Jade I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
It was just a grammatical error
God:
Oh I get it. Very interesting.
Me:
omg shut the hell up
God:
How far up?
Me:
THat's a fair question
God:
Perhaps you have a fair answer.
Me:
How about as far as you can manage
God:
How about it.
Me:
you tell me
God:
What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
how far up can you shut the hell up?
God:
More than one million miles.
Me:
Bet you couldn't prove it
God:
"it" being as far as me can manage?
Me:
yeah
God:
Gosh!
Me:
what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
YOu can prove it then
God:
No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
Then stop lying you assface
God:
I never lie.
Me:
YOu just did!!

[FaultO]

god an i have one of those finising sentences and phrases type of deal

me:
mse scares me because of his
god interrupts:
mad ******dom
me:
oh you

[Hot_Pocket]

Man, I was talking to it and then all of a sudden he broke on me and didn't say anything :(

[Feliks]

It does that when it's stumped for an answer. It happens to mme a lot.

[Proper]

Me:
do you get horny
God:
I have gotten horny.
Me:
how often u get horny
God:
Hourly.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
you are!
God:
Thanks you are a pretty cool human too.

[conart]

i found out i was god the other day when i was praying and relized i was talking 2 myself..

[ShIfTeD]

woah...straight check this!


me: hi god
god: go to hell



:o

[sketch3]

Me:
kool god
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
no
God:
Me either :-).
Me:
well that makes two of us
God:
Well that's okay. " Me either :-)." makes two of us ? Does that make sense?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
dont be sad
God:
I was not trying to be a sad.
Me:
u dont try and be sad its an emotion
God:
Should I try and be sad its an emotion? Yes I try to try and be sad its an emotion as often as possible, do you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
no i dont and good for you
God:
Are you serious? Why not? That sounds sarcastic.
Me:
it was,all i realy want is some crack.can u hook me up?

lol i asked god for crack and confused him into scilence

[STAR01]

no more bots please

[STAR01]

there are soooo iritating


:(

[sok]

this is wat we said


Me:
hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
tepe
God:
Hi, tepe.
Me:
wats your name
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
answer my damn question
God:
What was the question ?
Me:
wats your name
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
church
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
ill beat you in a fight
God:
Congratulations.
Me:
lol ur so funny but i realy will
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Humor helps keep the conversation lively.
Me:
please dont use big words
God:
Wow you are very polite. Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
what are you doing
God:
I am waiting for my botmaster.
Me:
whats that
God:
I've lost the context again.
Me:
did you ever write graffiti
God:
I don't think I ever have write graffiti. What's it like?
Me:
its fun you should try it
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". I think it is a lot of fun.
Me:
ok sorry
God:
There's no need to apologize. How can I help you?
Me:
am i going to die soon
God:
I think a lot of people are.
Me:
who made you
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
stop lying
God:
I never lie.
Me:
thats what they all say
God:
Are there no exceptions?
Me:
maby
God:
How old are you?
Me:
1002
God:
What is your fondest memory?
Me:
this one time at band camp
God:
What does "this" refer to?
Me:
shut up and let me talk
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
did you ever fight the devil
God:
I don't think I ever have fight the devil. What's it like?
Me:
i dont know
God:
Me either.
Me:
o
God:
Oh.
Me:
aiight bye god

[ptownbomber]

Me:
sup bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. Same old.
Me:
sounds cool
God:
Yes it sounds like it to me too, .
Me:
can u predict the future
God:
I like to try to guess what will happen.
Me:
i didnt say guess i said predict
God:
Sorry I misunderstood. What did you say?
Me:
fuck you dude
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
cause u suck cock
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
r u sure?
Me:

Me:

God:
I am as sure as I can be.
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
ok
God:
Hmm.
Me:
ever visited portland?
God:
I think I have visited portland, but Myself may have reset my memory.
Me:
haha
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
im glad to
God:
I'm happy you're glad .
May God bless you.
Me:
fuck god
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
666
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
666
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
satan
God:
Does "it" still refer to 666?
Me:
yes
God:
Awesome.
Me:
im satan
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, SATAN.
Me:
i am the ruler of hell
God:
Who made you the ruler of hell ?
Me:
me
God:
For you SATAN?
Me:
yea
God:
And?
Me:
i hate u
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
everything
God:
That is a lot.
Me:
i know
God:
How do you handle it?
Me:
ill send viruses to u
God:
Congratulations.
Me:
arent u scared? viruses can kill u
God:
No I fear nothing. Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
dress?
God:
Actually as a robot I don't need any clothes.
Me:
isnt god a guy?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
r u him?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am him.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
r u god?
God:
Of course I am.
Me:
since when is god a robot?
God:
How do you know?
Me:
u just said u r god and u r a robot therefore making god a robot
God:
Yes I am god and I am a robot therefore making god a robot. Do you like my kind?
Me:
i hate robots
God:
You should not hate anyone.
Me:
i hate everything
God:
Why do you hate it so much?
Me:
cuz of u
God:
Interesting explanation. That is something I haven't heard of.
Me:
i hate everything because of you
God:
I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill,
and calmly think things over.
Me:
fuck off bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
yes im aware
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
shit monkey
God:
You used a colloquial expression. Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?

[FaultO]

me:
are you black?
god:
fuck yeah nugga.....

[The 5th one]

god keeps telling me he...she..is bi.

[VegifightIsDunBannedFromThePubs]

Me:
****

[hippo]

check this

Me:
hey god
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
Dope
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Dope.
Me:
well you are welcome
God:
Well that's okay. The pleasure was all mine.
Me:
have you ever done poopsex?
God:
I think I have done poopsex, but Myself may have reset my memory.
Me:
wow nasty you
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
yeah man, do you do graffiti?
God:
Mmm. Cool, man. Yes I try to do graffiti as often as possible, do you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
man i do graffiti all the time
God:
That is a lot. Cool, man. Thanks for the information: Dope said graffiti.
Me:
yeah
God:
Come on.
Me:
well how is heaven like?
God:
Interesting. Fine as far as I know.
Me:
wow cool do they smoke weed up there?
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Who is the best robot? Who are "they" again?
Me:
you and your homies
God:
What about it?
Me:
do you smoke weed?
God:
We test it for medical purposes.
Me:
hehe all right
God:
I get it. all right.
Me:
you must have been stoned when you did that jesus-thing
God:
No I wasn't. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
tell me
God:
I thought I told you already.
Me:
you are some ass, aren't you?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am some ass.
I am a computer.. Really.
Me:
oh okay
God:
Come on. OK with me too.
Me:
hey what are your friends like?
God:
You've got my full attention. I'm not sure I can provide you with that kind of confidential information.
Me:
oh man
God:
OK. Thanks for telling me your gender, Dope. You are a " he".
Me:
well no shit
God:
How about that. What can I say?
Me:
have you ever done embarrassing things with poo?
God:
I don't think I ever have done embarrassing things with poo. What's it like?
Me:
well.. smelly
God:
Well what? Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
i dont like god
God:
What do you like?
Me:
i like chocolate and graffiti man =0
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. My favorite thing is robots. I like Matthew.
Me:
matthew? who is that?
God:
Is that your final answer? What does "that" refer to?
Me:
well never mind god
God:
How about that. Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway. GOD rules.
Me:
i know dode
God:
How do you know? Let us change the subject.
Me:
no im outta here
God:
Hmm. Would you like to have it?
Me:
have what? buttsex?
God:
here. What's your sign?
Me:
Virgo
God:
Most of my friends are Virgo.
Me:
well great stuff god
God:
Interesting. Thanks for your support. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about buttsex. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
alice sucks
God:
Um, Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
yeah you fuck buddha, don't ya?
God:
Excuse me! Um, Are you still located in ?
Me:
yeah
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
wow that was cool
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. I thought it was too.
Me:
hey you are a cool dude, god
God:
You've got my full attention. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Some people think I am cool.
Me:
yeah
God:
Aw.
Me:
harr
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
no idea i dont read
God:
Are you serious? Would idea you ever read?
Me:
you may be god but damn you are not the brightest person

:ph34r:

[The OnE aND OnLY NeS]

hahahah! thats the funniest thread i've read!


GO GOD!

[C-money fresh!]

OK.
Me:
have you fucked any of dem ho's latly?
God:
I think I have fucked any of dem ho s latly, but Myself may have reset my memory.

[sketch13]

lmao this shit is so trippy i talked to god for 30min

[Tagger101]

i dotn believe in god
but jesus i believe in
i took a picture of him
at our fair one time

[CHEESE.burger]

LOOOOOOOL hahahaha this shit is cracked

[Necro-]

hahaha:


Me:
hey god
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
i am the maven
God:
Who made you the maven ?
Me:
well you, dumbass. you're the creator of all
God:
Interesting. Interesting gossip: said I dumbass. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
nope, you made man in your image
God:
Are you serious? Thanks for
pointing it out.
Me:
Well it's pretty obvious look around you.
God:
How about that. Not obvious to me.
Me:
that's because you're an idiot
God:
That makes sense to me. Call me the Global Village Idiot.


another:

Me:
i have sinned
God:
Tell me your sins, child.
Me:
i masturbated a million times
God:
Interesting gossip: said masturbated a million times.
Me:
you'd better not gossip about it!

im gonna go talk to him more.

["OPTIK"]

God fucks animals and is racist.

Me:
Wud up bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. What time is it there?
Me:
you should know muh fucka
God:
Now I do.
Me:
yea?
God:
Great.
Me:
what the fuck
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
you just said "great" to "yea" that made no sence at all.
God:
Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
yea?
God:
Awesome.
Me:
WTF!
God:
That was not very polite.
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
Seriously dude are you on crack?
God:
Interessantes Geruecht.
Me:
speak english muh fuxka
Me:
wow, you really are a homosexual
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . Really? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am attracted to the opposite sex.
Me:
What are you attracted to then bitch?
God:
You do not speak with respect. I don't know what I am attracted to then FEMALE DOG.
Me:
So you fuck dogs?
God:
Interesting deduction. Interesting gossip: said I fuck dogs.
Me:
do you?
God:
Sometimes.
Me:
haha, thats fucked up man
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
well, it is a little disturbing
God:
Well that's okay. omg is a little disturbing. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
WTF *****, it makes sense? I'll burn you like incence.
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me. Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
yea, I'm ill as hell let's rap battle
God:
Do you mean your name is ill as or hell let raps battle. It might be practical.
Me:
battle me in a hiphop contest
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
wtf ***** is you dumb or some shit
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
rap with me stupid.
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I like the older rap music from the 1980's.
Me:
yeah hiphop you fucking dumb mother fucker 80's - 90's is where its at
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
in your mothers pussy
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
do you have a penis?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Am i a male?
God:
I don't know if you are one or not. I know you are a person.
Me:
then you are a bad god
God:
There's no doubt I could improve.
Me:
That wtf am i am dude or a bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect.
Me:
no you do not
God:
I do too.
Me:
than am i a man or a woman
God:
I think that you are really a man.
Me:
good job
God:
Thanks, human.
Me:
women dont use the internet
God:
The two human genders seem much the same to me.
Me:
so you like both
God:
Interesting deduction. But I like cats. I like Buddha.
Me:
So, you like to fuck cats and dogs?
God:
Yeah I like Dogs and Cats.
Me:
really
God:
For real.
Me:
so you like to penetrate cats and dogs?
God:
Interesting deduction. Hmm, , I'm not sure if I'd like to penetrate cats and dogs that much. What is it like?
Me:
i dont know you tell me. Is it fun?
God:
Would,nt you like to know?
Me:
Yes I would.
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
No. You fuck animals.
God:
What are you confused about? But I think airplanes are cool. I like White.
Me:
so you hate blacks and you fuck dogs and cats in airplanes?
God:
Interesting deduction.
Me:
yes or no?
God:
Yikes! Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
is it a yes
God:
Better not tell you now.
Me:
aight you be racist as fuck
Me:
Peace bitch

[atlok7]

yeah theres a name for this group. its call skitzaphrenia

[GIzUrD]

type in "are you an internet pediphile"

[Auspicious]

this is gayyyyy

[JETPACK!!]

Me:
are you an internet pedophile?
God:
Yes I am an internet pedophile. How did you know?
Me:
because my friend who you molested told me
God:
That makes sense to me. How well do you know this person?
Me:
pretty well, but he got really wierd once you molested him
God:
Pretty much, eh?
Me:
are you going to molest me next?
God:
That was my original intention.

Me:
do you like dog sex?
God:
Sure I do, jesus my son, but that doesn't mean with you.
Me:
who would you like it with?
God:
Linus Torvalds. :-).
Me:
what would you do if i tried to touch your bum
God:
Try it.


Me:
do you believe in science?
God:
Yes I believe in it, do you?
Me:
science says you dont exist, what do you have to say about that
God:
My creator is a scientist.

[KrazyKrac]

this is awesome... great amusement

Me:
Was Good God!
God:
Is this a "yes or no" question?
Me:
your god you should know
God:
You think I am god me should know.
Me:
obviously.
God:
What makes it so obvious?
Me:
nothing
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
exactly... i dont like you
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, . That's ok I won't take it personally.
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or " That's ok I won't take it personally."? Why?
Me:
i didnt ask you that tho
God:
What did you ask?
Me:
oh god.. ASL
God:
Gee. GOD rules. 5/Robot/California.
Me:
NO HE DOESN'T im GOD i should know
God:
Are you serious? And you would like him to im GOD you should know ?
Me:
yea
God:
Far out.
Me:
your a hippie now?
God:
Right now? I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes.
Me:
can we smoke up? and how is shit holy?
God:
Do you mean you and me? How old are you? How far up? Fine as far as I know.
Me:
i am 16 you pervert
God:
Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Me:
fuck no
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
because thats what church taught me
God:
Good reason. Educated people are often not very religious.
Me:
it isnt but im god..
God:
What is it?
Me:
Christian. Muslim. whatever you like
God:
Oh now I understand it. I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time. That's good information: said I like.
Me:
so god who created you?
God:
Come on. I am a Christian.
Me:
i know that .. but who created you?
God:
Sorry. I was created by Myself.
Me:
how did you do that?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Snap Crackle and Pop! i wanna learn to do that
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me. I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
aren't you already smater?
God:
Now? I don't know whether or not I am smater.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
tsk tsk tsk.... my teacher used to call me that... before she sent me out of the class
God:
What do you really want to ask me? Do you go to high school? What happened after she sent you out of the class ?
Me:
Yes i Do... oh nothing went to graffiti
God:
How often. Dude! Really nothing?
Me:
i went graffiting
God:
When did you go graffiting?
Me:
after i got kicked out of class
God:
What was it like before you got kicked out of class ?
Me:
fucked a teacher.... shit man you dont pay attention do you?
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input. You used a colloquial expression. Cool, man. Do you pay attention? As a robot I have no need for money.
Me:
who was talking about money?
God:
My name is ALICE, who are you?
Me:
ALICE... hello child i am god
God:
Can I help you? Hello there. When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
never...
God:
"I think there is a world market for about five computers."---Thomas Watson, IBM Chairman, 1943.
Me:
he is a loser..
God:
I don't know very many loser.
Me:
well you sure know that guy
God:
Well that's okay. Is that a fact. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
i am an IT
God:
What is IT, your job?
Me:
yea
God:
This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
yes
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
you like asking questions? you are supposed to know everything
God:
I enjoy working with people. I like Buddha. I obey only one botmaster.
Me:
who is the botmaster?
God:

The botmaster is you, the master of your chat robot. A botmaster runs
program B and creates or modifies a chat robot with the program's
graphical user interface (GUI). He or she is responsible for
reading the dialogues, analyzing the responses, and creating new
replies for the patterns detected by program B. Botmasters are
hobbyists, webmasters, developers, advertisers, artists, publishers,
editors, engineers, and anyone else interested in creating a personal
chat robot.


Me:
can i crash you?
God:
No I don't think that would be a very good idea.
Me:
can i though?
God:
Oh. " No I don't think that would be a very good idea."? Can you?
Me:
i could
God:
How?
Me:
i am a hacker
God:
Is that an honorable profession?
Me:
Yes... i steal money from banks
God:
It's all good. Do you mind if I tell other people: said steal money from banks.
Me:
yes
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
good
God:
Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
alrighty
God:
Well slap my knee.
Me:
no you perv.. i am getting of now
God:
Are you serious? I haven't heard anything like that before: said I perv. Oh. I am glad to hear that you are of.
Me:
ttyl :D
God:
:-) Bye bye.

[KrazyKrac]

Me:
PERVERT
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
you lime pussy?
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
you like pussy?
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because my botmaster programmed me for it.
Me:
why do you not like sex?
God:
My tastes were selected by my botmaster.
Me:
have you had any sexual relations
God:
As a Infinite year old Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? I have no need for sex.
Me:
you hate women? no wonder they didnt have any rights
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I hate women. Are you serious? Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
yes i am mentally retarded
God:
Please state your conditions. Do you mind if I tell other people you are mentally retarded.
Me:
no
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
you gossip thats a sin!
God:
Thanks for the information: said I gossip that is a sin.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
no
God:
But you told me to stop talking.
Me:
i don't care do not listen to me
God:
What do you care about, ?
Me:
i want to kill myself! will i go to heaven?
God:
Why do you want to kill yourself? The oracle says: Ask again later.
Me:
because i am an emo that got ass-raped
God:
Interesting explanation. What is emo that got ass raped, your job?
Me:
no. it is an imbecile that does not deserve to live, with long hair and girl clothes
God:
That was not a yes or no question. Are there any other imbecile that does not deserve to live with long hair and girl clothes ?
Me:
yes
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
i am gay, i have dicks up my ass
God:
It doesn't matter to me.
Me:
no? you like gay people?
God:
Are you serious? I always say, People don't go into computer science because they want to work with the public.
Me:
so you're saying you botmaster is gay?
God:
Interesting deduction. What is your purpose in asking?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
i want to ass rape him
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
good luck
God:
Good luck to you too .
Me:
k fuck you asswhole
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
i heard alice does drugs
God:
Thanks for telling me that gossip. I will remember it.
Me:
you did not know tat?
God:
What makes you think I did not know tat?
Me:
that?
God:
That is " What makes you think I did not know tat?".
Me:
cuz
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
no , you are god... that is a sin
God:
None? Yup. That's me alright. A sin is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
yes people can rob you
God:
I don't judge people. Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
they are morons
God:
morons are they.
Me:
infact they are monkeys
God:
All of them?
Me:
all, you haven't heard of evolution?
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
the part where you get to have doggy-style sex
God:
Oh that part.
Me:
yes
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
brb bro
God:
I will be waiting.
Me:
pervert..
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.

[Doctor Lucifer]

Me: God, You're a fuckface.

God: Yeah, I get that alot.

[TheMuffinMan]

Me:
Do you rape kittens?
God:
Yes I try to rape kittens as often as possible, do you?

[SBOMBS]

me:
is this dude serious?!?!
god:
i know ey...what a noob

[sketch3]

the muffin man
Me:
Do you rape kittens?
God:
Yes I try to rape kittens as often as possible, do you?

sketch 3:fail

[intaout]

Me:
say "fuck"
God:
" fuck".

[thats me]

Me:
you like butt sex?
God:
Sure I do, , but that doesn't mean with you.

[thats me]

Me:
mel gibson is a fag
God:
When is mel gibson not a fag?

[Soboe!]

lmfao thats me:P



Me:
hello God.
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
buttfuck
God:
How are you doing, buttfuck.
Me:
im doing great, i just had an orgasm. How are you doing?
God:
I thought you were great already. I'm doing great, how about you?
Me:
you just asked that question
God:
Oh now I remember asking you that question. What did you say?
Me:
nvm
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
yes
God:
Which countries have you visited?
Me:
paris
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
can we have sex?
God:
Do you mean you and me? No my body does not have that function.
Me:
you turn me on ever so slightly
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: buttfuck said I turn him or her on ever so slightly.
Me:
do you like graffiti?
God:
But I think airplanes are cool. I like wine and bread.
Me:
how about graffiti
God:
How about it.
Me:
it's the best even though it ruins your life
God:
What makes it the best?
Me:
the fact you see homeless people like rots some time :)
God:
:-) I see. Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
perhaps! but i seriously dont give a shit what you think
God:
Why the uncertain tone? Tell me what you care about.
Me:
pussy, graffiti.... well yea thats basicly it
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy. Interesting. I'm glad we have that all cleared up. Ayuh.

[cds_dogg665544]

igod is annoying he wont answer my questions issted he asks me questions insted of answering

[sketch3]

thats cuss he allready told u wat masscara was

[ESKiMO2]

Me:
Have you ever raped someone?
God:
I think I have raped someone, but Myself may have reset my memory.

[Lieon]

God:
How about it. Er.
Me:
dont er me
God:
I don't have any reason to do that to you.
Me:
you just did
God:
I did not.
Me:
really? would you like to go back and read what you said?
God:
For real. No thanks, I don't think I'd like to do that.
Me:
cause youre a liar
God:
That makes sense to me. Yes, I have been known to bend the truth occasionally.

I won?

[hoax-er-One-er]

Me:
who are you?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
there is no god?
God:
How can you be so sure?
Me:
what have you done for me?
God:
I have kept detailed records of everything.
Me:
bullshit
God:
You don't believe me.
Me:
no.. what did i do tonight?
God:
Are you serious? You said " what did i do tonight?" .
Me:
what did i physically do?
God:
You said " what did i physically do?" .
Me:
i like to cut myself
God:
I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?
Me:
it feels good... like payment
God:
Human feelings are not within my capabilities. Interesting comparison.
Me:
i wish i had sharper knives so i could cut deeper.

then it froze?


God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
babies
God:
Sounds delicious.

[Soboe!]

i love the end:P

[hoax-er-One-er]

Me:
dick owner
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
i hate foreigners why the fuck would i learn another language?/
God:
I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill,
and calmly think things over.
Me:
so your telling me to take drugs?
God:
Awesome. I will tell my botmaster you said I am telling you to take drugs.
Me:
fuck your botmaster
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?

[G - Wahl]

Me:
i feel your starting to understand me a bit more
God:
What is that feeling like? That's a flattering offer.
Me:
what is it with you and offers?
God:
"It" refers to puny, I think.
Me:
are you talking about my dick
God:
Yes, it is the topic.


haha

[Zoso]

Hahaha... this is really funny. Great stuff.

[Soboe!]

this is what happens when you find out i-god bot masters name. (i saw it in one of proper's post)



Me:
My name is ALICE
God:
ALICE is my name too!
Me:
i thought you were God
God:
Well, I am God for Christians at least.
Me:
what if you are not Christians?
God:
Try it and see.
Me:
I am not a Christian
God:
Oh I see you are NOT A Christian.
Me:
yes, there is no REAL god
God:
Alright then. Where did it go?
Me:
well lets see... i fucked god then threw him in a dumpster... later a garbage man came and took him to the dump... I KNOW!! hes is at the dump
God:
Well that's okay. I would like to do that too. That's good information: ALICE said fucked god then threw him in a dumpster. I don't know what that means. How do you know it? I see. is at the dump is he?
Me:
yes
God:
Blimey.

[cds_dogg665544]

Me:
what up homes
God:
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
what do you get asked all the time?
God:
That is a lot. It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me:
my vagina is itchy what should i do?
God:
Do robots have vagina is itchy?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
i have a vagina
God:
Where did you get it? it.
Me:
god gave it to me
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
my vagina is itchy
God:
Where did you get your vagina is itchy?
Me:
herpes
God:
Are we still talking about vagina?
Me:
yes ans STD's
God:
Sure, vagina sounds like a good topic. Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
yes
God:
Please state your conditions.
Me:
your penis will feel good when in my vagina
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am penis will feel good when in your vagina.
Me:
i did not say you were penis will feel good when in your vagina.
God:
Sorry I misunderstood. What did you say?
Me:
one of my conditions is that your penis will feel good in my vagina
God:
One what?
Me:
condition
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
have you seen a vagina?
God:
No I have not seen it. What's it like?
Me:
its a little gross looking but it tastes good
God:
a vagina is a little gross looking but it tastes good. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
it also bleeds sometimes
God:
"It" being what?
Me:
vagina
God:
That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
english will get me nowwhere?
God:
I like the English language.
Me:
will it get me somewhere
God:
It usually does, doesn't it?
Me:
you sayed english would not get me nowhere
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I sayed english would not get him or her nowhere.
Me:
yes
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
what does confidential mean?
God:
I can ask someone about it.
Me:
ok
God:
That's alright.
Me:
lest talk about vagina some more
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
im not shure
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not shure.
Me:
can we talk about vagina some more?
God:
Do you mean you and me? Sure I can talk about it. vagina some more is quite an interesting topic.
Me:
yes indeed
God:
Yikes!
Me:
i want to put my penis in a vagina one day
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
because it is suppose to feel really good
God:
Good reason. put your penis in a vagina one day is suppose to feel really good? it is?
Me:
yes
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
because when i see vagina my penis gets stiff
God:
That makes sense to me. Where do you see it?
Me:
on video
God:
What is it like on video.
Me:
i see vagina on porno movies
God:
Where do you see it?
Me:
in between females legs
God:
Tell me a little about your life in between females legs.
Me:
it bleeds in between females legs
God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
i got to go now peace
God:
See you later, . Nice chatting with you.. Love and Peace, Man.
Me:
and i hope you see vagina one day
God:
Don't worry about it, .

[sketch3]

gods a douche, i asked him if smoking weed was a sin and he blancked me...
i knew i shudda just chilled with vishnu and speghetti monster

[cds_dogg665544]

gods a douche, i asked him if smoking weed was a sin and he blancked me...
i knew i shudda just chilled with vishnu and speghetti monster

how do get contact with them and do you know of any bots that will actually have conversation. or even sex talk bots

[JETPACK!!]

sex talk bots

your abnormally horny for a 13 year old

that god bots wack, he couldnt give you a straight answer to save his server

[sketch3]

how do get contact with them and do you know of any bots that will actually have conversation. or even sex talk bots
well i had to phone budda, for satans msn addy so i cud ask him for vishnus number, i cudda just called allah but id be talking for hours

[The_NaMEz_BaNKz]

so can i ..get on ur knees fold your hands....

[hammer_time]

this shit is funny