Suicide

[-=AgA=-TrAnCe]

exactly.

[nero122]

my moto is live life to its fullest fuk the goverment theyr just rich people n be who you want n dont care what others think so ima throw a big fuk you in the air n drink some vodka:)

[vegimite on toast]

^i used to think like that too, when i was 13
hospital straightened me out, though
im down a half a fifth a day

[plz]

my family has a suck it up and quit ur bitchin policy

[moze.2]

PLEASSE everyone on BS dont take this matter lightly and lets pull together again to help out a fellow wrighter.

[nero122]

he didnt almost die he was planing to n by the way if it was over a girl stop bitchin theres more to life than a stinkin piece of stubly pussy damn n yes you save him from doing it but theres no need to post all up like yh im a hero blah blah i meen that shit personal between u n him have som respect man

[nero122]

yo razor damn like kay says talk to your family ive wanted to kill myself so many times before cos of all the shit i thoguht was so serious just look at what you have and focus on the shit that makes you , you n you will realize people in other places are far more worse off than you ,

[moze.2]

yeyou should be happy that you're able to overcome your depression so easily
two and a half hours with a stranger, some people take years to get past the brick wall only to find its got steel on the otherside

SO fuckin true and thats kinda where im at now in my life but my firends are helping me through

[wolsley]

I went through a bad patch about 8 months ago after a really harsh break up and tried to kill myself twice. Then I learned that when you hit that really low point life can only get better. Suicide is the easy way out and life is hard you get used to it, killing yourself over a relationship is pointless its not the end of the world. I would never consider trying to kill myself again its not worth it. I think a lot of people don't think about those who they are leaving behind. It might be over for you but not your friends and family. It will destroy those who are close to you.

A few weeks ago I had a trip and saw in my mind what would happen if I died. I saw the aftermath from the point of view of my family and friends and I never want that to happen to them. I don't fear death or what come after death I only fear what would happen to those I leave behind.

[Cham]

iv thought about it before....but none more seriously then tonight.....I'm not going to though I just really need to vent or what ever....write this somehwere were someone besides me can read it as lame as that sounds I dunno......
.............. I fucking hate everything in my life.....iv fucked everything up nearly completely.....I'm just tired of fucking up....tired of not being good at anything except fucking everything good up....I failed out of school.....I don't have enough money to pay for school.....I work a shitty job and I can't get hired anywhere else ive tried....and as shitty as my job was, its just getting progressivly shittier.....I went from working 40 hours a week.....to 8 hours in two days.....I owe so much money its rediculouse.....but since I can't get a job its just getting worse.....
I'm tired of lieing.....tired of being lied to...tired of letting everyone down...and tired of being let down........tired of feeling used....tired of knowing shits changed but not being told straight becuase people are afraid of hurting me, when it hurts me more to know its changed and that I'm just not being told(relationship/friendship).......tired of not being appreciated for anything I do....wasting money for no reason.....not having money....not having a life...... the only real people id worry about hurting if I ever went threw with it is my mom dad and grama...iv already lost most of my friends, and the one thing I thought mattered more than anything......but yeah I could have seen that coming since I was the first she cheated with....but no where near the last....Iv never hated myself more since iv been sober....I prolly hated myself about this much when I first found out I was failing out of school and about to go on trial for shit I didn't do and no one had my back at all....except for alcohol.....but now I'm straying away from that.......

I just needed to write that down before I did something really really really really stupid.....its just been a shit day ontop of a shit couple of weeks

[-=AgA=-TrAnCe]

damn man, keep happy?...

[K0tt0nKandyandP0psicles]

the kid who's going to do it is never going to post a serious post in here.

[Msfyt]

thats not true
and you should eat your words
zuel told us before he attempted once, and all people did was call him a fake

so what would you rather have a faker or the real thing

i think it just shows you what a stupid post you just made
and i dont think you know any of us well enough to tell us what we will do and not do

[vegimite on toast]

msfyts love keeps me from killing myself http://www.artnskins.net/e107_images/emoticons/love.gif

[sayonelast...]

good thread.. i think this could really help some ppl..

[-=AgA=-TrAnCe]

im with mysft, we might be the only friends/ people who'll listen some people have got, ass holes with pointless posts aint helping.

[sayonelast...]

i think msfyt and AgA-Trance are right.. no one listened to zuel when he said hed do it.. ppl called him a fake..
maybe if ppl listen.. they can prevent someone of doing it..

[Snot]

Got arrested.
I have no real friends because they ditched me to save themselves.
Parents hate me for getting arrested.
Graffiti ruins everything in my life.
My girlfriend of 2 years just broke up with me without telling me until I found out another guy was involved, and all i want to know is whats going on.
School, i cant go and face the friends and girlfriend that left me.
What else is there really?.. I layed in bed for 2 hours straight.. thinking about which bridge they cant get me off of.

And i need to help, because i'm close to actually looking for those bridges.

[AloeOne]

this is a fucked thread

[syrup2]

Got arrested.
I have no real friends because they ditched me to save themselves.
Parents hate me for getting arrested.
Graffiti ruins everything in my life.
My girlfriend of 2 years just broke up with me without telling me until I found out another guy was involved, and all i want to know is whats going on.
School, i cant go and face the friends and girlfriend that left me.
What else is there really?.. I layed in bed for 2 hours straight.. thinking about which bridge they cant get me off of.

And i need to help, because i'm close to actually looking for those bridges.

your homeboys are still your freinds man there just bitchs not evreyone can really man up to shit like they should
yeah graffiti will fuck evreything up my mom fucking hates me and shit but its an addiction and some shit you love so dont quit it you know
and your gf dont even sweat it bud 2 years yeah is a long time but real talk bitchs aint shit but ho's n tricks and that other guy let him have her you know why cause shes a deceitfull cheater and shes gonna do the same shit to him man dont even worry about your freinds or your gf think about the next bridge to get some dope handys on not to jump off
when you go to school all your partners gonna be sorry as fuck gurantee it and fuck that ho be a man about shit man up im serious youll feel hella better

[BIGel]

Got arrested.
I have no real friends because they ditched me to save themselves.
Parents hate me for getting arrested.
Graffiti ruins everything in my life.
My girlfriend of 2 years just broke up with me without telling me until I found out another guy was involved, and all i want to know is whats going on.
School, i cant go and face the friends and girlfriend that left me.
What else is there really?.. I layed in bed for 2 hours straight.. thinking about which bridge they cant get me off of.

And i need to help, because i'm close to actually looking for those bridges.dude listening to what you just wrote really reminds me of how i used to feel in high school. i had so many of the same problems you listed and it does feel like too much at times i remember. heres a quick story..

i dropped out of high school junior year, at the time i was involved deep in gangs and drugs, and i thought i could pull myself out of it. i moved up to portland with the hopes of going to art school and starting fresh and leaving it all behind me. i ended up getting so heavily into heroin and pills that i was going thru almost 10,000 dollars every 6 months. i ended up doing things i never thought in a million years when i was your age that i would do. stealing cars, robbing from my roomates, slinging dope as a full time occupation. id always said crystal was the drug id never touch until i did it, and three months later i was doing it every single day. staying up 13 days in a row so paranoid that id have the dea breaking my door down any minute. i overdosed on september 25 2006 and came as close to dying as you can get.

after that my family physically came to portland and brought me back home to reno just so they could save my life. i thought of nobody but myself and i was slinging again the second my feet touched the pavement in nevada.

things were building and building until i got arrested in june this summer for trafficking and resisting arrest. the da said he was going to attempt to give me 2-5 fucking years in the state pen in indian springs for it. i kid you not man i sat in the booking cell after that first night i had talked to the da and i tied my sheets in a noose and sat there all fucking night gripping it hella tight and thinking about hanging my ass right there and then. i was so damn scared dude, 2-5 years at 20 years old, im pretty sure i cried, i was just so out of my mind with fear. when my lawyer worked out a three year probation deal to where i only spent two months locked up and the 2-5 over my head it really change the way i think about life. suddenly all those things i used to trip about in high school seemed so unneccesary and easy to solve. i realized alot of my problems could be solved as long as i had the freedom to do it. as soon as i got out i told my dealer friends and customers to kiss my ass and took off for california. And im by no means perfect and sober now, but im going in a better direction and ive got a feeling deep down that im going to make something of myself and my life.

just sitting here thinking about how close i was to calling it quits just a couple months ago, and how scared shitless i was, it amazes me...because things do get better if you're willing to man up and do it for yourself. give yourself time to be pissed and angry at the world and your girl for doing that shit, thats a natural part of life, but just know in the back of your mind you'll be a stronger man for it, and your worth more than that.

*sorry for the long ass boring story, but anybody thinking about suicide is dead fucking serious, its not a joke. look no further than waster to see that taking this shit seriously doesnt make you a pussy, it makes you a man and who knows if he'd been less afraid to talk about it because of certain assholes he'd still be here.

[Oink.]

so many things wrong with this.
1)unless its your mom, dont trust any female. (seeing that 50% of marriages end in divorce, and the percentage of boyfriend/girlfriend relationships lasting is considerably less. once you two break up or stop being friends [it happens] shes going to have alot of info about you to talk shit about)

2) how can you trust someone that you've only known for a couple months? ive been going out with my lady for two years and i dont tell her alot of shit. i have friends that ive known for six years that dont know close shit about me.

3)your too trusting. you cant trust anyone these days, its gonna fuck you over.

that is all


woooord to that man, i trust 2 fuckin people 2ve my bros been buddys since like fuckin grade 5. People lie and bullshit these 2 motherfuckers are blunt and honest. My ex basically fucked me over, She was all blah blah you dont talk about your "emotions" which i dont cause i think its fuckin useless..Nd yeh long story short that was a bad idea. hahaha, Ahhh bitches and their gossip gotta loooove it.

[EsKoNeR!!]

here is a question for everyone here.
has anyone ever though about doing it, talked about doing, tried to do it, so that someone would listen because noone else would?
not jsut in generall for anyone to listen and talk, but for someone who is actually full heartidly interested in listening to listen? but after thinking about it for ahwile, you start to think it might not actually be such a bad thing?
reading through chams second paragraph especially, and this thread, and thinking about my friends who have killed themselves made me think really hard about shit
. ive been thinking , trying to sort shit out for a while now. after the hardest year in my life. and there have been dozens of nights where i have broken down and jsut needed someone to talk to, but noone was there. about a week before i moved, i broke down more than i had in the past, and it has taken almost a month to think about what to say, and how to explain things, and event o figure out what was really wrong, and i still dont know, but i think im starting to get the hang of it.
i think i know somewhat of how oyu feel cham. beacsue your second paragraph is almost exactly what im feeling.
i really dont know what do to but break down you know?
all im saying is it would be nice to have people. friends, a girlfriend, that would actually listen and be able to help. instead of just brushing it off, thinking thinking its a joke.
ive put myself out so many times. taken chances on things, and people that i shouldnt have. i jsut wish the thigns oyu put so much effort, time, and love into would show the same respect back.

[redxdrum]

this is crazy to see that other writers have tried/committed suicide. when i was 16 i tried to kill myself. i still have scars and its been 2 years. i have had depression all my life but when i got into drugs i just got so fucked.
if anyone wants to see my scars i can post pics.

[the terror of E]

i just realized how many people on BS have actual serious problems




this bothers me

[moze.2]

Hey everyone im back. i got banned. and i dont know why. but im back. and i know that im here. i have posted alot in this thread and i wanna say to the person up there that said noone in here that posts has any rea intention to do anything is not true. some writer about a month ago tried to kill himself. but he was helped my another person who read his post and stopped him right before he did. And its not even a matter of telling what your gonna do. its about getting help on here my venting your emotions and just who you are. its about getting help. because it is true " every graffiti writer is a self concious manic depressive" i know i am. i always have been. i, as well as countless outhers have recieved my fair share of shit thats been flung upon me by this endless sack of hate and crap we call life. but here is where we get help dealing and sorting though it. here is where we get that boost of encouragement that we wouldnt normally get from anyone in person. here is where we can hear " its ok, i understand. or listen...." instead of " hey fuck face!" or "you dissapoint me. son, youve ruined my life.'' yes ive heard that one. its harsh but its what it is. life. but here we get our help. caause we need someones hand to save us and pull us out of this quicksand of depression.

Ps. if anyone wants to talk to me about ANything. Just PM me. My name is Ryan. thats about the most stable thing in my life right now. but im here for you.

[RFI. SPit]

Thanks Moze, that's a bold move. I'm right here with Moze, if anybody needs to ever talk about anything, not even something as serious as suicide, I'm here. I've been going through a rough couple weeks and am currently at a pretty low point myself. Things will get better all in time, remember there is always something positive out there for you.

Mad love.

[wont]

One of my good friends shot himself in the neck and bleed to death in his room while his mother was trying to kick the door down. She never got to him.

If he could have seen how it affected all of his friends and family I know he would have never done it. I miss that kid..

ur freind is retarded

[Oink.]

ur freind is retarded


your a fuckin ignorant piece of shit, thats just disrespectful

[smooth_nuts]

*shakes head in disappoint at wont*

[T O K E]

why?

becuase your a disgusting human being

[wont]

:( lol you dont even know who i am

[Oink.]

Yeh man like what the fuck kinda question is 'why', that was some disrespectful shiiit if you where my buddy nd i was with you nd you said that id level you right there.

[Snot]

i just realized how many people on BS have actual serious problems




this bothers me

Now think about everyone else.
You could have everything or nothing to lose.
The world fucks us all over.

[wont]

i know sme times im a tard

[AMansNotACamel]

Word. When I was 11 I was being taught piano by the kid down the street who was about 15. He was a straight up burner. I idolised that cat and was pretty shattered when I found out that he had killed himself.
I think suicide is pretty serious and I mean if someone talks about it in any way, they are obviously thinking about it even if you think they aren't going to do it.
Friends are mad important, I don't have any cas I ditched all my friends and drugs to finish school, which I regret as every so often I get the call to attend a funeral and I think that even if you think you can manage shit on your own it's probably best to talk to someone (even if you think they're gonna get all emotional about something your fairly passive about) cas the more your alone the more that shit plays on your mind and it only takes one heavy thought to give yourself the nerve and a reason to through with something you won't have the chance to regret in the morning.

[Snot]

true why=retarded
Someone ban this mother fucking ignorant prick.

[scoot]

im at a pretty low point in my life right now.. and reading all of this stuff on the board is relating to my situation, my great aunt is in the hospital at 99 years of age and they wont operate on her due to her age.. so now shes all drugged up and not even the same person to the point were i cant visit her because it upsets me. my aunt just went into surgery for cancer and had her bladder removed and now is going threw kemo.. if all goes well she will pull threw if not docs say she has about a year and a half left.. and now my parents are on the brink of devorce.. mind you my conditions arent helping me at all. im a manic depressive and also bi-polar. i have refused to take the meds because im not a beleiver that meds can help anyone.. so instead of doing them i turned to drugs.. pills, chems, herbs. you name it ive pretty much done it and now i sit at home 2 years sober from it and think about were im going with life.. i got accepted to a high class film school mind you i dont have the money to attend it. i have gotten job oppertunities but have been turned down because i dont have a loyal meens of transportation.. as i see it right now this about as low as i have been.. working 4 hours a week not knowing if im gonna be able to eat this week is making it even harder..

*edit*

also my best friend that i grew up with has just gone into basic training.. this kid is pretty much my brother and by next august he should be in irak fighting for a cause my country has nothing to do with.

[RFI. SPit]

I hear you scoot. Keep your head up buddy, I sympathize with your situation. Cool to hear you've been sober for 2 years now. If you need somebody to talk to I'm always here through pm or msn.

Mad Love

[moze.2]

Hey scoot. i know what your going through cause im in your fnancial point now. i have a job but i car pool because i dont have a car. but your grandma and aunt and your parent need you now more than ever. they are also in a struggle with their life but theirs they cant controll. they need you love and support and as for your parents, im sure they are somwhat sad of whats going to come. talk to them. help them and they will help you.

[Oink.]

yeh i feel yall, cant skate or graff anymore for over a year. literally my only hobbies tore my acl and need like 3 surgerys. got dumped, saw her with some 22 yr guy yeh that went well after talkin to her bout gettin back together. I think im over all that shit now though, Shits gettin back to normal quit all the drugs i was bringein on which didnt help shiiiit haha.

[Attican]

Maybe you should stop dating girls who cheat on you. You're not a pushover for giving her a second chance, you're just forgiving. Plus, if she's cleaned up and isn't doing the stuff she used to, you don't have much to worry about.

Meds don't work for a lot of people...I started on effexor a few weeks ago, and I'm pretty sure it makes me feel a lot worse than before.

You just gotta keep your head up man, and do what makes you happy. That's a whole lot easier said than done, though...fuck, I know that's true.

You wanna get out of the house? Everybody goes through that. I'm 17 too and I can't fuckin wait to graduate. Unless you've been held back or something, you'll be out before long, and it'll be gone before you know it.

[Murder.Corpse]

Nah man, graffiti saved my life.
i put all my stress into graf.
thank god for graffiti, but fuck the pigs!

[Attican]

You ever notice how the best artists are always sick and twisted souls?

I think the same applies for graffiti.

[libra25]

yea im mean most of us graffiti writers out there rely on graffiti is like a drug
dat fills u with dis emotions dat make 4get about everything is just u, a can of paint n da wall
most writers have problems but sum blame it on graffiti
graffiti has nothing to do it
u have control in ur life, if u let da graffiti ruin ur life then dats ur problem kuz u let it happen
graffiti 1 of da thing i can rely on
get up, do graffiti express ur self on da wall dont let anybody let u down
i knoe we all have problems up n downs
graffiti is one da ways we can express ourselves
mad respect for da kats who developed graffiti into wat it is now
fuck da goverment fuck da police destroy da system

peace

[Ascendant]

I can't pretend to know as much as most people about suicide. But I'd be more than willing to listen to people's problems. And if failing in school or whatever is part of it, I'd be willing to try to help if you want to turn that aspect of things around.

[Attican]

If you don't know much about suicide, you're lucky. No one should have to deal with the shit that comes up when someone you know or love kills themselves.

[lordloss]

ok if your pissed and shit about stuff like school and the goverment and shit thats half the reason why u bomb to fuck the goverment and coperations and shit evryone gets fucked over every day and that shit isnt cool idk i like half asleep right now but if u get what i trying to say good- kepp writing

[moze.2]

OK seriously this isnt one of thouse threads where you can post stupid shit like that in here. please do that shit somowhere else. there is a huge assortment of forums you can do that shit in. not this one.

[Pico Hollywood]

my friends older brother keeps attempting suicide he is a pretty good writer too. His mom Died of cancer when he was 15 moved in with his real father and step mother his brother got along with his new family but he didnt he kept breaking all their rules he eventually got kicked out of his house he got really into drugs and all into gang life he went to his girlfriends house and was drunk as shit and fucked off coke tried to rape her and she screamed and shiit the next day he found out he tried to hang himself and was rushed to the hospital he tries to kill himself everyweek he moved in with his cousins and works at target.. What was crazy is he's like I think 19 now but when he was in highschool his GPA was 4.7 and got a 28 on his ACT...He just has alot of personal demons I dont think anyone can fix.....

[.A.K.4.7.]

i hate suicide. nothing is ever worth it.

[Nicht hellig]

i have alot of fuckin problems to begin
im absolutey fucking disgusted at how the general person treats each other judges, and dismisses anything that makes up the person as shit
to be honest i wish this fuckin world was a fuckin dream to live in im pissed off that this place cant be perfect which is another reason why i deny the existance of god so much but its gotten to the point where when i see this shit i feel sick and want to seriousley fucking kill someone i myself have very suicidal thoughts a fucking lot and tend to make more risks hoping in result that id lose my fucking life and maybe someone else why? one reason im extremely bi polar and often very depressed.... i had a realy hard time in school all the way to my should have been senior year for a long time i went without medication to help my fuckin illness all the way to my second freshman year so interacting with other people was always a huge challenge resulting from bi polar was alot of insecurities and confidence issues and you people may take this as a joke or whatever but im being very real this is some socialy cripling shit that i have and are still trying so many times to get over i cant let go of all the times i made myself look retarded its a fuckig physical pain i get when i think about it its jus so fucking overwhelming FUJVCKASVD[i have been bymyself on this shit for so fucking long im jus ready to explode right now tying this shit with relationship problems is a bitch also .... been in and out of relationships alot of fucking times cuz of this shit and i feel like im doomed to be alone and miserable for the rest of my life

ive fought these things and try really hard to ignore fix medn fucking anything and it dosnt help

cry me a fucking river i know but im jus so fuckin ready man

can anyone relate??

[spetzZz]

stay on meds n find a ho dude

[nero122]

so im not suicidal kinda but ive had alot of very strng urges to kill evryone i can like a massacre n i dont wanna shrink cos with whats in my head ill end up in a pillow room can anyone help me out ?

[vowels]

go get help, or uhh.. refer yourself into one of those pillow rooms haha

but in all seriousness, this is a really good thread, I know a lot of people that have wanted to kill themselves but I've always made a group of friends all convince them that life is a lot better. Friends are the greatest supporters, in my opinion and if you don;t have friends.. then they are alternate ways to talk to people who CARE and KNOW what you are talking about as msfyt said on the first page.

[Pico Hollywood]

i have alot of fuckin problems to begin
im absolutey fucking disgusted at how the general person treats each other judges, and dismisses anything that makes up the person as shit
to be honest i wish this fuckin world was a fuckin dream to live in im pissed off that this place cant be perfect which is another reason why i deny the existance of god so much but its gotten to the point where when i see this shit i feel sick and want to seriousley fucking kill someone i myself have very suicidal thoughts a fucking lot and tend to make more risks hoping in result that id lose my fucking life and maybe someone else why? one reason im extremely bi polar and often very depressed.... i had a realy hard time in school all the way to my should have been senior year for a long time i went without medication to help my fuckin illness all the way to my second freshman year so interacting with other people was always a huge challenge resulting from bi polar was alot of insecurities and confidence issues and you people may take this as a joke or whatever but im being very real this is some socialy cripling shit that i have and are still trying so many times to get over i cant let go of all the times i made myself look retarded its a fuckig physical pain i get when i think about it its jus so fucking overwhelming FUJVCKASVD[i have been bymyself on this shit for so fucking long im jus ready to explode right now tying this shit with relationship problems is a bitch also .... been in and out of relationships alot of fucking times cuz of this shit and i feel like im doomed to be alone and miserable for the rest of my life

ive fought these things and try really hard to ignore fix medn fucking anything and it dosnt help

cry me a fucking river i know but im jus so fuckin ready man

can anyone relate??

Don't blame your self on how fucked up the world is it was fucked up before u were born and its gunna be fucked up after you leave... Don't kill yourself because once your gone its hard 2 be remembered unless you pull some crazy shit before you die...Bitches come and go and you should of never taken highschool seriously all the girls are sluts and most the guys in highschool cant fuck a girl for shiit or are virgins that have lockeroom your better than that shit man...Keep your head up

[syrup2]

no i seriously do want to kill people in some fuked up ways n i dont know what to do about it

keep it in the back of your head and dont let it out , dont tell anyone about it either I know exactly how you feel sometimes like your just at school with maybe one or two other kids in your classroom and you think to yourself
"hmm I could stab this one in the ear with a pencil and gauge the other ones eyes out and no one would know " seriously evreyone will think your fucked in the head dont tell anyone not even a therapist thell screw you over too

[nero122]

yh but i meen fuked up ive researched methods on how to kill n fuk someone up i meen id love to rip someone spine out while there alive i thought of how to do this shit its fukin anoyin my brain thinks way too much i just want it to end

[BORG]

get an opinion from a md man, its not all that abnormal
i actually purchased a gun last yr for the same reason
but i do therapy and i'm on antidepressants and shits alot better now

[nero122]

yh but when i take tablets evrything totally fucks up i dont know whats what i just wanna be normal

[BORG]

antidepressants make u normal man, my doc told me i had a chemical imbalance in the brain and said antidepressants would help balance it out, sure enough they did, it helps give you energy and makes u alot happier than u seem to be

[nero122]

i had em before when i was 11 to 13 n i was mad fuked up lifes better without em i just have homicidal thoughts

[sketch3]

oh yeah im highly depressed i think i need to demotivate myself and think about shit to much...
but for real weed effects people differntly, not everyone should blaze when there down,,, i do but then again i dont get down that much

[whahappen?]

ok if your pissed and shit about stuff like school and the goverment and shit thats half the reason why u bomb to fuck the goverment and coperations and shit evryone gets fucked over every day and that shit isnt cool idk i like half asleep right now but if u get what i trying to say good- kepp writing
yo dawg fuk da gov they suck, wanna reeebel by nt speelin nething corectly?
llol, cuz th3 englsh languge jus oppresses ppl by liek f theyr liek nu tu this contry liek thy cnt gt jbs nd its al the govmenrts fault nd the gvrntms fuk us ovr evry day liek soo lme dood

[pyroguy]

sup every one, its been a while, i had to run from somethings for awhile.this i like one of those hey i made it through some more shit and welcoming the new.

[SKriBL*666]

So im one to hate the fuck out of suicide and think its not the smartest thing to do in the world.
But man.
Last breakup was not crackin.
First time i actually thought of that bull shit.

From the breakup, went straight to the train yard to relieve some stress, saw a train coming, thought some dumbass thought.
never been that close to fuckin death.

Never thought i would even think something like that.
especially over a girl.

[silentchaos14]

dude no chick is ever worth killing yourself over. no problem is. u may think its worth it at the time but it really isnt in the long run, most of the time everything balances itself out unless your like a serial murderer or some shit which i doubt u are. "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" always remember that, its helped me a few times.

[Pharoah]

i agree and if u beleive in reincarnation and karma yo remember if u kill yourself you might come back as like a fuckin sewer rat or something shitty like that when u think u got problems remember it could always be worse

[pyroguy]

its nothing like that just a lot of my own personal insecurities and dark held secrets and average life wears me differently then others

[C-SONE]

My sister overdosed on a months worth of anti-depressants last night, shes at hospital at the moment and fuckin' I hope shit ends up all right. I'm scared cus I don't wanna lose my sister.

[[phenom5]]

shit guy, good luck to her, she'll probly be okay my buddys sisters did the same thing, her system just shut down but she pulled through with just a bit of liver damage or something

[urbanpirate]

Does everyone in the graffiti scene suffer from depression? It sure fucking seems like it. I kinda think this shit is related somehow.


i think it was saber, that said , everybody who does graffiti is a manic deppressed , insecure person, because thats the only thing that makes you wanna write on things.



idk though. graffiti has made me very depressed bfore, but without it i wouldnt have anything to live for.

[moze.2]

as sad as it sounds, at points ive wanted to kill myself recently but like urban pirate said, and im not sure if this si what he meant, but i havent hti up as many spota as id like. and i want to perfeect techniques and alot of stuff about and to do with graffiti made me think, " its not time yet"

[lordloss]

moze is you died i would do a toy ass mural for you.dont make people look at somthing that bad. so dont die for me and the people

[moze.2]

ahahaha thanks man but that was a while ago. i go to therapy now and shit. so its all good. woot for anti-pychotics, anti-depressants, Zxanax and all the drugs ive gotten from the psyciatrist guyman sir. person

[lordloss]

my mom got in a really bad car crash before i was born and has sezures or how ever you spell it and it was rough growing up my dad is not around much always working and on top of the my mom drinks hella. so i never really had anyone there for me it fucked me up mentaly i get like really emtionally and shit idk it really weird dont like talking about it

[moze.2]

is all good i hear ya man. my life im not gonna say was the worst of all but it sucked around age 13 area and hasnt gotten better.

[lordloss]

same like last year all my grandparents died my dad almost died twice from a staff infection my mom had AA and was arested my parents got divorced then back together i failed school..........the list goes on lifes a bitch whatever you learn to live with it

[Hoostein]

Yeah, lots of good stuff in this thread. I like to see some serious things on here, not all about beef. Suicide is serious stuff for sure. I think about suicide almost constantly, whether it's why I do or don't want to do it. I know that one day, things are just gonna be better. I don't know when it's gonna be, but all I can do is strive for that day. I feel like nothing is right in my life other than graffiti, which is fucked up but I thank god for it. I think that a few things said in the first few pages of this thread, I feel like that chaotic order in my life balances other shit out. Things have never been the best for me but I know that one day will come, and with it will come happiness. I might find myself in a similar situation to how it is now, but I can only hope I can be more positive than negative to keep myself sane and functioning. Suicide is never the answer, things might be bad and they could easily get worse, but if you wait long enough things will start to get better.

[C-SONE]

I think about it a fair bit but really whenever shit gets down I sorta cool off and realise these three things.
1. I'm too narcissistic to hurt myself.
2. People care about me too much and I care about them too much to put them through my shit.
3. Theres so much stuff I havn't done that I would still like to experience.

[[phenom5]]

To be honest, after getting through a bout of depression, whether it's long or not, you've permanently got a different look at life, and nobody can change that. After you've seen things from an apathetic point of view where your either pissed off or just plain sad and feel like your under everything, when you come out of it, you have a total new respect for life as it is. I notice like 70% of my friends have been through some sort of depression or suicidal state, that shit never truly leaves you. When shit gets hard emotionally or mentally, those old feelings are there to remind me of how bad it could be. Nothing is worse than being so depressed that you find yourself thinking about suicide. You're there and you know you're there, and you don't want to be. But, like everything that happens to me or I go through, I use it as a learning experience, a tool that helps you cope with some of the other shit we go through

[urbanpirate]

for the past couple of months especially, ive been really curious about how my friends and family would react if i did die or commit suicide. Idk its kinda fucked up but ive thought about it everyday for a long time now; just thinking how individual people would react when they found out i was dead. i dont plan opn doing anything of the sort, but i do think about it alot. but to moze: yeah thats what i meant. i havent done enough graf in my life, im not good enough yet. and i plan to die famous, either way.

[-Sinn-]

on the first a friend of a few of my friends killed himself he had just broke up with his girl and threw himself infront of a train. we saw the cops baggin up pieces of him later in the train yard i hang around right before he did it he sent a text to a bunch of friendsa text sayin "Good-bye I Love You." I cant get the image of cops pickin up body parts and baggin him outta my head. I think next time I hit that yard I'm gonna do a memorial piece outta respect for him.

[sketch3]

oh shit man, im sorry to here that,
stay up

[Pharoah]

yeah man you should do that it might help get ur mind off him.
there was a memorial to a writer that was killed in the city i live in it was up for a long time until some fuckin losers came and wrote shit all over it i cant beleive they did that its like str8 disrespect anyway, nice idea

[lordloss]

ya do that sorry to hear losing someone close isnt easy shit.I just got put back in therapy today i pissed that fucker thinks he knows every fucking thing about me and can change me fuck him. MY lifes fucked and and he never gonna understand one fucking thing about me i dont even fucking understand my self fucking no one does.FUCKING littel bitchs think they know everything it piss's me off.On top of that every gay ass fuck my age trys to start shit whenever they get to chance drama drama drama i hate this shit everyone is to fucking imature my age............................................... .BAD DAY

[Pharoah]

how old are you

[lordloss]

13

[Pharoah]

u sound alot older than 13 i guess thats where the maturity part comes in i had to go to psyciatry or w.e when i was younger i fuckin hated it all they do is ask questions it pisses me off now my mom wants to put me in anger management lol so i started smoking lots of weed to mellow out i know i shouldnt rely on drugs but its better than fuck therapy

[lordloss]

ya everyone says i act A LOT older than i am kinda sucks.ya word fucking shrinks think they know how the world works.hahah.i would do drugs but it just isnt really my thing i just take pain killers when i in a really bad mood.vicoden is my buddy.

[Pharoah]

i dunno wat that is and i dont know how to get painkillers isnt that some like prescription shit the closest ive ever come to that is chugging have a bottle of benylin extra strengh cough syrup i didnt know it got you fucked up and i started tripping out real bad...

[lordloss]

ya it is broke my arm and took the other pain killers so i have like 20 pills. lol that sucks i have had that happen with this she triple c

[G-Fat]

its called a therapist

[BOOGER KING]

My Brother tried to kill himself twice.
The second time was so crazy.
he was just insane, i watched him get bashed by this guy and he passed out and i thought he was dead. anyways, i came down to him saying that he was going to run at the cops with an axe so they'd shoot him.
he said goodbye to me and all that.
that was the hardest part.
but the cops raided the place and locked him up.
thats my story.

[RUDE_Bwoy]

suicide is always hard on loved ones.i had my step sister commit suicide.really fucked up stuff

[-Sinn-]

go fuck yourself shithead pull ur head out ur ass or the sand or where ever u ignorant fucks shove it this shit effects everyone

[xtitansx0]

i have almost died 7 times by acting like a retart...

[libra25]

worst thread ever.... shit happens, get over it.

yea shit gonna happen if u keep opening yo mouth like dat son
how can u come here and say that u fucking dumbass

gonna get flammed hard for that

[xtitansx0]

but seriously i tried to o.d. on pills 1 time i just went through my medicine cabinet (5 ppl living in that house at the time so there were a lot of pills) and took almost all of em, same night i slit my wrist. have the scare yet i always told everyone i was riding my bike and my arm hit a pole and the staples ppl use to put flyers up cut it.

[xtitansx0]

i felt like i had nothing to live for, no1 cared about me, everything sucked ass at that time. one of the only times i cried usualy when i get sad/pissed i take it out on someone or something but that time i took it out on myself

[xtitansx0]

a mod should make a poll on this thread something like this
tryd to commit suicide
thought of it
never passed ur mind


or something along those lines

[sketch3]

god dammit i hate to bring tenssion to this thread but use the fuckin edit buton, or dont type as much, ps tha poll idea is stupid

[xtitansx0]

lol

[xtitansx0]

i will

[xtitansx0]

consider it

[silentchaos14]

sorry for bringin hate to a thread that is here to help people in a time of need but USE YOUR FUCKIN EDIT BUTTON FOR FUCK SAKES U PIECE OF SHIT. honestly i came in here to say some shit but u just fucked it up and i forgot what i was gonna say. great job u piece of shit, someone please ban this kid.

[xtitansx0]

i think you need anger management lol i like the edit button

[T O K E]

chill titan your making nj look bad

my mom left last night

[xtitansx0]

as in died? or just mover or sumthing

[silentchaos14]

titans just leave. your seriously not wanted here anymore and i really doubt toke wants to talk to u of all people about his problem.

[T O K E]

she took all her shit and left, i wonder were she went

[silentchaos14]

toke i wanna say dont worry about her but its natural to worry about someone u care about. dont feel like this is your fault though because its all on her, she was the one who decided to take the easy way out and run from her problems. when she does come back (she will eventually) talk to her and find out what her problems are and try get her some help.

[BombingSciences Bitch]

Please shutup, you tell titans nobody wants him here...but seriously, be honest with yourself. Do you really think anybody wants you to be here?

I know i don't.

Toke, if she loves you like she should...she'll come back. You just gotta hang on in there and be strong, is it just you now or do you have a father or siblings?

[LCG]

ive thought bout it once
but luckily my GF was there to help me through it

[xtitansx0]

i was in a similar situation when i was 8 my mom is an alchaholic and she was binge drinkin for 8 days and i had to do everything for myself which was hard since my dad didnt live there.... then the 8th day he came and she said if i leave never to come back and i left. I put my clothes and things that ment a lot to me anf left with my dad.

[rave905]

sometimes the thought just comes naturally 2 u cuz its just like really what is the purpose in life like when have you accomplished what your here for and really no one nos so whats the point in stugglin day after day for nuthin really
its kind of an endless cycle

[Spintalic]

It's kind of weird how you should mention that. I quit doing drugs and drinking, and I found art and making music as a great part of my being sober now. Most of the cats I write with all faced the same problems and are clean now. Graff is a sort of self-destructive lifestyle, but the art and emotion I pour into everything I do creatively has done more for me mentally, than any other self-destructive behavior. Shit gets rough, and art [especially graff] is a way for me to find myself inside my art.
...Drugs and alcohol go almost hand-in-hand with graff these days...

[Saxaphone]

to quote that guy out of shaolin soccer.."suicide is not the answer"
i oten think about suicide but then i think hell why not die whenever it happens and just have fun or make a difference while i have my life.

[JEDI-MASTER]

"suicide is killing the only person u can change"....my boi told me dat not to long ago...i have always gone through a ruff time...seemed like all was lost l8ly...im no emo kid i might be called a wigger by sum but i def have emotional probs....i was trippin mad hard after dis girl led me on ontop of my other bs.... homies probs, im like a godamn diary or sumfin n dey my fam so like to help dem out , girl issues, stupid fucks beefn, fam probs all dat added up....ive tried hanging myself 3 months ago....my boi saved my life there .....but 2 weeks ago i attepmpted to blow my brains out...gun jammed....i guess i lucked out...

[AMansNotACamel]

first, me saying fool is the same thing as saying dude.

second, everyone thinks about suicide at one point or another.
maybe some kids have no where else to look for help but the internet, thats the only sympathy i have for considering this thread.

I understand what heads are doing here, it's liek the same for me, I will never tell anyone I know how I feel ever for various reasons, and I'm sure people think the same way about stuff. As well as never telling anyone how I feel in real life I would also never tell anyone over the internet. However, I can see the positive side of people being able to vent how they feel to an anonymous person whose judgements don't really mean shit to them in real life, I assume just being able to vent would help these cats. So why hate?

[Case-One]

almost everyone has had a friend or two commit suicide, it hurts a lot man, this is one of the most painful things most humans go through, losing that person is hard, but it should give you insperation to live harder and longer in memory of that person, push it to the limit and live out what that person couldn't in memory of them, make the most of your days here and when times get rough for yall,jus push through it and keep livin.

[InkScientist]

Almost blew my own head off. But im passed that. And yeah I agree, graff artists tend to be the people who don't fit in so much. I mean I could be popular if I wanted, but I find people way too annoying. I'd rather paint. Anyways, Good thread, real talk, we dont need to lose anyone that way.

[xtitansx0]

i dont even have 3 good friends... do i care? nope. i dont fit in, most graff writers are very far from normal. more than other ppl

[Set17]

ive helped 5 people out of depression and suicide it feels so good to know that you saved their lives

[BeeOne234...]

Msfyt, my love...this was genuinely a great idea for a thread....people, as i can read above, don't take the shit seriously....A+ for effort and caring.

[entry]

i wrote this along time ago when i was going through some shit


i fear the past you fear the present
i can predict the future and im not in it
my death is imminent six feet deep forever asleep
shits permenent, friends and family will learn from it,
as i enternally burn hoping its never your turn,
This is my suicide fill your eyes with tears
ill be in your heart for the everlasting years,
but i never meant it, so many things could of prevent it
you never got it in the mail but i sent it
i only had one life and i took it away from all of yours
snotty nosed kid corrupted since the age of 4
no father figure in my life but so much love in sight
i couldnt understand me i just left that to my family
someone was always there to guide me through it all
because reality is wrong and dreams are for real
just think of that when you close the casket and watch it seal

someone told me "suicide is killing the only person who can change it"
but im done with life i dont want to live rearranging shit.

sitting here in fear, depression in fifth gear
a whole new person when i look in the mirror
you ruined me whoever you were.

i cant believe suicide is on my fucking mind
this wouldnt be the first time, its my own crime im going
in but for time but whatever fuck it all
i just leave you all with this suicide letter.

the message is for who ever is struggling
get it together life is like a flock of a million birds
and your just a single feather

treasure every moment from past to present
and learn from every lesson..

[JEDI-MASTER]

ever think.....wen u up on the billboard wat it b like to jump...to b set free....idk....pigs catchin up wit me....friends livin their own lives.....shitty excuse for a family, graff....only thing kept me stable....now i even question....y do i try, y do i give a fuck, y dont i jus try again....that will be answered soon enuff i suppose....i think i jus may do sumfin....SKARS run DEEP....not only physically or emotional....but mentally....chronic, liqour, graff, pussy...ma life....n im sick of th e rep...

[crik]

lol.
or really test your limits and quit all the bad shit.
stop drinking, smoking, fucking shit up.
go to church?

or are you too hardened already?

[Rots takes your Daughters]

Yeah, listen to the man, going to church is a key part in becomming sane....Well I can't even type that with a straight face.

[nero122]

believing in a god is just a false reason to live its false hope and a waste of time... i dont really believe in people either cos all they are is a false reason to be here and most will let you down in the blink of an eye...

[Saxaphone]

^^ trueeeeeeeee.

[JEDI-MASTER]

lol.
or really test your limits and quit all the bad shit.
stop drinking, smoking, fucking shit up.
go to church?

or are you too hardened already?
i dont belive in god..... as for the "bad shit" i jus cant..

[meetermaid]

Yeah, listen to the man, going to church is a key part in becomming sane....Well I can't even type that with a straight face.

yeah fuck you... to some, it is... you have any idea how many people have been literally saved by believing in something, a religion, whatever? to the kid who said it gives a false reason to live and a waste of time... you're entitled to your own opinion but you have to try to look at it this way: if you believe in something, that you feel gives you reason to be on this earth, regardless of all the bad shit that happens to you and to those around you, is that really a waste of time? i don't personally believe in god and am not a devout follower of my religion, but i think if believing in something helps you get on in this world, then fucking do it, because it's a shithouse.

then there's the people who are all "if you don't believe in my religion or sect or whatthefuckhaveyou, fuck off and die," and the "i go to church/whatever to look good in front of my neighboors" people, who are just ignorant, and don't count as to what i'm talking about.

[hazetheone]

dude its realy sad when i never had faith in ''god''
and i live in alabama so the southern baptists are all retarded
i have only met a few who know more than me about christianity but the rest think they are intelegent
sigh...

[JEDI-MASTER]

how is dat bad.....belive wat u want.... i jus, always feel like shit....nd ive lost 4 of my homies this yr....nd it jus hurts so much, and i cant cry i dont kno y but i cant, i dunno mayb i jus keep shit inside to long, ive tried hanging myself but my home boy came home early....ironically 3 weeks later he died....rip jay....and about a month a go, i got my bois old strap, n tried shootin myself...it jammed, the firingpin was locked i dunno how or y but it was.....nd last week i was n a car chase with the cops, car was stolen n my boi had no licence resulted n a car crash...i thought that was it i was finally gonna go, but instead my boi almost died and i walked away unscathed....idk wat my fuckin purpose is....but all i know is im not fuckin happy....so rots thanx buddy, ive tried twice mayb 3rd time will b a charm

[walkdatline]

the best thing to do is...to keep a positive outlook on life..its all about how u look at the problems that life throws at you...u can look at them as problems...or opportunities...because with each challenge that comes your way...is a learning expirience...what doesnt kill you..makes you stronger..

also another thing...stay away from negative people...they wont do anything but hold you down...speak happy..be happy...

like i said...its all about outlook...

the glass is half full...not half empty...

keep it real..stay strong

[walkdatline]

yeah fuck you... to some, it is... you have any idea how many people have been literally saved by believing in something, a religion, whatever? to the kid who said it gives a false reason to live and a waste of time... you're entitled to your own opinion but you have to try to look at it this way: if you believe in something, that you feel gives you reason to be on this earth, regardless of all the bad shit that happens to you and to those around you, is that really a waste of time? i don't personally believe in god and am not a devout follower of my religion, but i think if believing in something helps you get on in this world, then fucking do it, because it's a shithouse.

then there's the people who are all "if you don't believe in my religion or sect or whatthefuckhaveyou, fuck off and die," and the "i go to church/whatever to look good in front of my neighboors" people, who are just ignorant, and don't count as to what i'm talking about.



as for this....i dont belive in any organized church...its corrupt..take it or leave it....but im agnostic..i belive that there is a god...i jus dont know who lol..and i will tell you why..

if man realizes that man isnt perfect...that means we are comparing ourselves to something that is....whatever that sumthing is...has to be god...

[Slushi]

what if people start to like you? Then your whole plan is in disarray.

Don't think about why you should live, just appreciate life.

[lolque?]

you should sticky it. this is important. the dad of a friend of mine commited suicide when she was young, now she's 16 and still affected by it.

[pyroguy]

thats the fucking point i get real close and something always say no not yet and i got nothing i dont even feel like the wife wants protection from me its hard to not just say the thing that keeps me from jail or crack or suicide drinking even painting any self destruction is just my common sense, that every one else built for me to keep me for there use is the hard part

[BLTZ]

^^ that is the stupidest fucking thing Ive ever heard
how does it take balls to end your own life, a pussy that cant handle life takes his own.
It takes balls to look for the silver lining and keep on with life
Its ignorence like the shit you said that cause people to get depressed and think about suicide

[hoax-er-One-er]

every person does think of suicide...

but saying only kids with balls go through with it... is just a little extreme... and highly fucking offencive...

yo pyroguy hold in there man..
holidays are fucked they put a lot of pressure on me personally...
being laid off for the holidays has fuckin sucked
its been and interesting week for my self.
but im too curius to see what 2008 will unfold

[walkdatline]

jus keep that hope....let it survive

to live is to suffer...to survive is to provide meaning into something

---DMX, Slippin

[entry]

i fear the past you fear the present
i can predict the future and im not in it
my death is imminent six feet deep forever asleep
shits permenent, friends and family will learn from it,
as i enternally burn hoping its never your turn,
This is my suicide fill your eyes with tears
ill be in your heart for the everlasting years,

but i never meant it, so many things could of prevent it
you never got it in the mail but i sent it
i only had one life and i took it away from all of yours
snotty nosed kid corrupted since the age of 4
no father figure in my life but so much love in sight
i couldnt understand me i just left that to my family
someone was always there to guide me through it all
because reality is wrong and dreams are for real
just think of that when you close the casket and watch it seal

someone told me "suicide is killing the only person who can change it"
but im done with life i dont want to live rearranging shit.

sitting here in fear, depression in fifth gear
a whole new person when i look in the mirror
you ruined me whoever you were.

i cant believe suicide is on my fucking mind
this wouldnt be the first time, its my own crime im going
in but for time but whatever fuck it all
i just leave you all with this suicide letter.

the message is for who ever is struggling
get it together life is like a flock of a million birds
and your just a single feather

treasure every moment from past to present
and learn from every lesson..

[-AbSrD]

life is hard but life is good and so fun. its never worth it.
great thread.

[walkdatline]

this is what this thread should have more of...more positive thoughts..as soon as i got on here..i saw a bunch of negativity..lets change that shit around a lil...ya feel me?

never regret anything that ever made you smile

[JEDI-MASTER]

yea shits lookin up had a good week for a change thanx to my ***** time nd ninja n everybody else up n here trying to raise a *****s spirits....much love

[TheGaus]

This threads a real eye opener I thought I was alone thinking these things , but it looks like a lot of writers have went through this kind of shit,
For me this shit started when my dad died but I think Im feeling better about it , still not perfect but better ;)

[two point two]

love ur self

care about ur self

talk to god , or talk to your self

get it off ur chest

smile & keep going

[JETPACK!!]

i used to think liek that too, but then i kinna just got a big ego and realized im better than the world i live in. im still alive, so it worked.






tomorrows another day, live life to its fulliest, you wont truly enjoy death if you dont enjoy life.

[SKriBL*666]

So this is the reason i havnt been on the BS in a bit.




Mind is not good rite now man.
Not fucking good.

[whahappen?]

how is dat bad.....belive wat u want.... i jus, always feel like shit....nd ive lost 4 of my homies this yr....nd it jus hurts so much, and i cant cry i dont kno y but i cant, i dunno mayb i jus keep shit inside to long, ive tried hanging myself but my home boy came home early....ironically 3 weeks later he died....rip jay....and about a month a go, i got my bois old strap, n tried shootin myself...it jammed, the firingpin was locked i dunno how or y but it was.....nd last week i was n a car chase with the cops, car was stolen n my boi had no licence resulted n a car crash...i thought that was it i was finally gonna go, but instead my boi almost died and i walked away unscathed....idk wat my fuckin purpose is....but all i know is im not fuckin happy....so rots thanx buddy, ive tried twice mayb 3rd time will b a charm
youre obviously here for a reason, dont kill yourself
just find shit that you arent content with in your life and happiness will follow

[Skeggi]

I attempted my life at the age of 16, and I'm glad I got immediate medical help. pierced a lung and very glad to be alive today. You can't give constructive advise to someone who is suicidal. Their paradigm is so drastically different from yours that nothing you say will seem like a favorable alternative to suicide.

[SKriBL*666]

I dont know.
Shit seems so worth it in the short run, but then wack as shit in the long run.

[whahappen?]

ya do that sorry to hear losing someone close isnt easy shit.I just got put back in therapy today i pissed that fucker thinks he knows every fucking thing about me and can change me fuck him. MY lifes fucked and and he never gonna understand one fucking thing about me i dont even fucking understand my self fucking no one does.FUCKING littel bitchs think they know everything it piss's me off.On top of that every gay ass fuck my age trys to start shit whenever they get to chance drama drama drama i hate this shit everyone is to fucking imature my age............................................... .BAD DAY
holy shit you sound like me when i was 12-13
hahaha this is weird
i got put into therapy too, and HATED it
i was all paranoid and convinced the therapist was secretly telling my mom about what i said so i barely talked all the way through it

it really does help somewhat to stay off the computer or off forums because theres soo much negativity, usually id just make myself worse by making fun of people and shit for no reason

[MAST]

i've realized it's a lot easier in the long run to do something unique and get noticed if you're one of the different people than if you're just some normal fuck. your mind isn't like everyone else's for a reason. i don't know why everyone spends their time trying to be normal, when it's a beautiful thing to be different.

[JEDI-MASTER]

evry1 iws normal till u get to know them......before great man changed the world, they were thought to be insane. some nevwer changer the world. they were just insane....




Something you should know about Easier To Run Lyrics

Title: Linkin Park - Easier To Run lyrics

Artist: Linkin Park (http://www.lyrics007.com/Linkin%20Park%20Lyrics.html)

Visitors: 201 visitors have hited Easier To Run Lyrics since Dec 28, 2007.

Print: Linkin Park - Easier To Run Lyrics print version (http://www.lyrics007.com/print.php?id=TXpFeE5UZzI)



It’s easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It’s so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

Something has been taken
From deep inside of me
A secret I’ve kept locked away
No one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show
They never go away
Like moving pictures in my head
For years and years they’ve played

If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could take all the shame to the grave I would

Sometimes I remember
The darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories
I wish I didn’t have
Sometimes I think of letting go
And never looking back
And never moving forward so
There would never bee a past

Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending I don’t feel misplaced
Is so much simpler than change

It’s easier to run replacing this pain with something numb
It’s so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

how i fuckin feel......lp.......look if ne of u ppl r down, since wasters passin anniversary was not long ago, and i been thinkin bout doing it.....if u all interested n haleping me wit my slideshow....do a waster piece.....ill except a few throwies....now i dont want complete shit.....so if u down..... better have decent skills....due on the 13th ill upload it wen im done makin it...ill post the link wen done....thanx....

[moze.2]

.

[moze.2]

ok it seems i keep comming back to this thread. everytime i see it i just cant help but look at it. all of my old posts from months back. and with all the shit i cant deal with any more this "idea" just keeps going in and out of my head. ive held the gun i thought i was gonna kill myself with,and after i didnt, .. i threw it away a vowed to change. and i didnt. . i resorted to drugs and i moved away from my family. my friends now..... i dont even know if they are my friends anymore( im always dealing with friendship isues) i feel like the things they say have no feeling in them, and the are sarcasticly fucking with me. venting venting venting. i think ive been getting dumber. . . i went to my therapists and for the first time i just sat there. i didnt talk to him. i dont want to. my doctor thinks im getting worse. i havent take my antidepressants in weeks... and she wants to up my dose. aha.. im looking at the TABSthat i have up on modzilla, and i didnt even realize but i have 4 tabs that relate to suicide. graffiti and my friends stevie and PJ are the 2 that keep me going. other than that life sucks. honesty. not to sound cliche' but i cant help butthink how insignificant life is. . if i do die, by my own hand or not, it wont affect shit. nothing. sure some people will be sad, but for only about a week, maybe a year, but people live for years. and the whle idea of life is retarded. humans, everything about the world is just one crazy idea. ho we got to where we are... i dont know. mainly because i dont know where we are. te way people interact is fucking odd. i hate people.. i feel like shit.

my mind is racing, and i think im gonna find some ambien. i got fired from my job. i miss some people there.




i want to belive that we dont rreally exist, and that this, earth as we know it doesnt exist, and i wake up and humans, galaxes, beds, friends, cats,everything, jobs, are all part of an elusive dream that i am having, and its all crazy jubberish that gets washed away in a morning haze. its all stupid.

i cant stop thinking about this : life itself is but a dream....a vision. nothing exists save you and empty space. and you are but a thought.



i went through suicide sites, exploring methods, figuring out the correct dosage of my painkillers to likely cause death. im not going to do it, i just wwant to keep pushing myself closer and closer to though. i think thats why i did such a shitty job at my work to get fired. and maybe tthats the same reason i havent been taking my anti depressants.


-
-----
-
--
im sorry im complaining about my life and how shitty it is to me. "I'm such a shitty person always making these depressing posts, not responding to my comments (which I read and are great and supportive). I don't think I have friends left anymore ( and if I do, they certainly aren't getting anything out of their relationship with me.) I'm being so selfish and self-absorbed and needy and whiney. That's why I need to stop and give you guys all a break from my crap.This isnt only to people who read this post, but to my friends in person, if they ever read this. I'm so sorry for being a taker and not being there for you like you've been for me. Im sorry for being so paranoid and thinking you have double intetions Take care of each other and know that even if I'm not being good at showing it, I do truly care about you guys'

[AMansNotACamel]

well, you see, from what you said, your life seems to be based around other people and material superficial things, ie, your two friends and graff. however you have contradicted yourself by saying you feel alienated by your friends, like their is some personal inside joke or sarcasm directed at you. if you feel this way try thinking of why you would want to live, not for other people but for yourself, think of it as a challenge. if your self esteem is that low that you are paranoid about friends and family not having feelings for you, build it up, set yourself goals you can achieve easily and eventually build up. This will help your self esteem and eventually give you confidence to live without forever having the thought of suicide popping into your thoughts. If you can find you can achieve these goals it may eventually change your pessimistic outlook towards the future into an optomistic or at least apathetic outlook.
or whatever i dunno.

[moze.2]

i didnt contradict myself. i have different groups of friends, and PJ is not in any of the groups, hes a loner or between groups too, like me. so i feel like a group of my " friends", not PJ is isolating me.


i wish my family didnt care about me, and it would make this alot easier on them

[MAST]

but a whole lot harder on you.

have you ever seen/read fight club? it sounds like you're subconsciously trying to hit the rock bottom. like you're just testing to see how low you can get until you really hit bottom. something like that is not for the weak hearted. in fact, it shouldn't be for anyone, but it's your life, and no one can make you live it any other way than how you want.

[JEDI-MASTER]

i cant stop thinking about this : life itself is but a dream....a vision. nothing exists save you and empty space. and you are but a thought...... me n my boi time were discussing this not long ago

[JETPACK!!]

I dont know.
Shit seems so worth it in the short run, but then wack as shit in the long run.


live for the short run, plan just enough for the long run to survive. enjoy yourself because you never know, tomorrow you could be hit by a bus.

and jedi-master i talk to my boys about shit like that all the time once the 40s dusted. theres too many questions and not enough answers, even if life is a fictional dream. do whats fun and make it a good dream. you wont know what life is about until your facing death.

[Msfyt]

amen

i've realized it's a lot easier in the long run to do something unique and get noticed if you're one of the different people than if you're just some normal fuck. your mind isn't like everyone else's for a reason. i don't know why everyone spends their time trying to be normal, when it's a beautiful thing to be different.

[Msfyt]

moze i have to agree with AMans
try some inner reflection
because you are right on the fact that sadly we should only be relying on ourselves
and that it isnt as easy as you might think to see everyone in a postitive light
so on that note, depend on yourself, dont let yourself down
forget about everyone else, until they deserve it, and focus on you
but heres the hard part, you cant focus on the stuff that get you down
remove/change the things in your life by pinpointing small stuff that will make your life easier and it will start to add up, just like the opposite does too (loosing jobs, breakups, money troubles, school, etc)

[Kaze]

anyone know a song that will just fucking chill me out
and explain theres a fucking point in my life :)

[JETPACK!!]

atmosphere - moderns man hustle / saves the day / insomnia
awkword - learn
josh martinez = splittsville / breakdown / sleep alone
living legends - never fallin / neglected

its hip-hop, but i find it helps me out a lot when im down

[Kaze]

thanks..

[JETPACK!!]

if that dosent work ill write you a song and sing it underneath your window. (forreal)

[Kaze]

pretty old.. but everytime i read it just i dont even know..

i fear the past you fear the present
i can predict the future and im not in it
my death is imminent six feet deep forever asleep

shits permenent, friends and family will learn from it,
as i enternally burn hoping its never your turn,

This is my suicide fill your eyes with tears
ill be in your heart for the everlasting years,

but i never meant it, so many things could of prevent it
you never got it in the mail but i sent it

i only had one life and i took it away from all of yours
snotty nosed kid corrupted since the age of 4

no father figure in my life but so much love in sight
i couldnt understand me i just left that to my family
someone was always there to guide me through it all

because reality is wrong and dreams are for real
just think of that when you close the casket and watch it seal

someone told me "suicide is killing the only person who can change it"
but im done with life i dont want to live rearranging shit.

sitting here in fear, depression in fifth gear
a whole new person when i look in the mirror
you ruined me whoever you were.

i cant believe suicide is on my fucking mind
this wouldnt be the first time, its my own crime im going
in but for time but whatever fuck it all
i just leave you all with this suicide letter.

the message is for who ever is struggling
get it together life is like a flock of a million birds
and your just a single feather

treasure every moment from past to present
and learn from every lesson..

[JETPACK!!]

who wrote that? its beautiful and tragic as fuck at the same time.

[Kaze]

me myself and i

[JETPACK!!]

kay, ill tell you straight up, dont try it. been there, done that and got blood on my t-shirt. lifes a beautiful thing, whether you have friends or not. just waking up in the morning should be taken advantage of, breathing is a gift. i wont lie, i have one friend and hes been mad buggin lately cuz im getting deeper into writing. i dont have a girl cuz ive been fucked over by more than enough that now i push away any woman who wants to try to be with me. people dont love me, they just beef me. but realizing that theres always new people to meet and new things to try keeps me in check, try talking a long walk, bring a marker or something. dig deep into your soul and try to find out why your sad, once you find the reason, it can help overcome these feelings. were all here to talk if you need it man.

[Kaze]

god turned his back on me. Last words he said were,
never look back and face reality.. stop dreaming

thats how i look at it right now just went out had a smoke..
and this is what came to mind..

[JETPACK!!]

look at it as god being a fuck up, which would justify for all the pain he causes in the world. live for yourself, god cant save you, only you can. suicide is somewhat selfish because of all the pain it causes on others. you dont have to see them, but imagine your mother if you went through with it, it would just make her life so much harder knowing her sons gone

[ladie.salo]

i tried to commit suicide once but it didnt work...
probably for a good reason!
:)

[Kaze]

life is the longest form of suicide

[Kaze]

anyone got some songs my girl just called me crying..
told me she let everything out to her parents stuff like drugs friends everything
i just need a song to chill me and her out quite the emotional night..

[ladie.salo]

panic channel - "Why cry"

[Kaze]

hip hop pleasssse

[lololzheffer]

my uncle killed himself. i just found out about this recently. i never even knew him...i didnt even know about him cause my parents are ass monkeys.
but yeah when i was told it effected me and i didnt even know him. the absence and know that people actually do this is really powerful.

[JETPACK!!]

no excuse for lovin - soul position
right place wrong time - soul position
before the great collapse - jedi mind tricks
black winter day - jedi mind tricks
razorblade salvation - jedi mind tricks

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ei4cfNSwzP4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgAR1Dgpg_U
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=564d3daeP-0

[Kaze]

im loving the soul position ive overly played JMT

[JETPACK!!]

yeah, i was looking for some and i thought why not for the JMT. download some RJD2, he does the beats for soul position. no lyrics though, just the music.

welcome to new radius - RJD2

[Kaze]

i run to music when things arnt going so good its always helped me
and i write .. best way to express myself
and right now i need a song but i cant find one ..
whats a good song about relationships/love etcc

[JETPACK!!]

download maaaad cunninlynguists, they're really good for cheering ya up

nothing to give
braincell
beautiful girl
love aint fly

[MAST]

on the rjd2 note, ghostwriter is the best song. and the horror

[JETPACK!!]

word to that, i listen to RJ when im going to sleep

[IlikePie]

I'm contemplating it now, I keep fucking shit up, I usually just run to alcohol to get me through the day, but I have court in the morning and I don't want to risk jail where shit would just be worse.... Fuck....

["Riot"]

One of my good friends commited suicide last week.
shits hard dude.

od'ed on antidepressants and told himself it wasn't worth it and shot himself in the chest. Died in the hospital.

RIP John.

[IlikePie]

:/ I don't feel like dealing with all this shit, I got 3 big cuts on my arm and I didn't feel them, somethings wrong here....

[RFI. SPit]

One of my good friends commited suicide last week.
shits hard dude.

od'ed on antidepressants and told himself it wasn't worth it and shot himself in the chest. Died in the hospital.

RIP John.

I'm sorry to hear that, RIP.

[the redeemer]

oh my god, this is such a sad thread.
suicide kills alot of people.... very sad.

dear everyone
if youve ever hurt yourself intentionaly, if youve ever had a abusive relationship with any relatives, if youve ever abused, if youve ever ben abused, if your parents have ever ben abusive/ divoriced, if youve ever done drugs or alcohol to get away, if youve ever had someone very close to you die, if youve ever attempted/ thought about suicide. GO SEE A DOC, please please please! its for you own good, trust me that you life is worth liveing and that seeing a doc will help

ilikepie, please help yourself.
riot, im really sorry to hear that

souixide...

[IlikePie]

I just want to talk to my girlfriend.... But I have to wait until Friday IF things go good in court.... My heart slowed down a bit, but I'm still having anxiety attacks......

[C-money fresh!]

i felt the same way and started poppin xanax for that and ended up in the hospital for a week . it really helps to talk to someone if you can

[JETPACK!!]

ilikepie, keep your head up, it takes balls to live in this world. and in my opinion its gutless to kill yourself. its harder to live than to die. im not bashing people who've taken their lives. but theres a lot of shit to live for, even if you dont realize it.

ive got court to, its gay. my first offence and im about to get hit up with 18 months of proby, cant have paint on me, 11pm curfew, and i cant be with my ONLY friend. but whatevs, that shit dont phase me. your young and havent been numbed to the world yet, once you hit 18-19ish then its a lot easier because you realize the only person that really has your back and loves you throughout your life is yourself.

ive tried it as well in my younger days and im glad i lived through it, i never felt my cuts either. it was actually a relief, i only slept well when i cut myself that night. but i found alternatives like sleeping with music on, and some nights when i get really lonely, as gay as it sounds, i pull my teddy bear outta the closet an sleep with it.

but hell, everyones different, i just hope you can deal with it and get through what your going through. were all here to help

[RFI. SPit]

I've said it before on Page 1 and said it again, if anybody is ever in a state of crisis or severe depression and needs help, please PM me, I'll do the best I can to try to help you work through it or just be there as a person to talk to. I don't like to see anybody in that state.
Word, mad love.
-J

[IlikePie]

Thanks dude, I really have been numbed to a lot of shit though. My sister almost died in the room next to me, her boyfriend (Whos like an older brother) was dead for 11 minutes from coke, and he was doing it again a few days later. I'm not trying to say I'm experienced at life but I think I've had my fair share of downfalls in my 16 years....

[Church]

I've said it before on Page 1 and said it again, if anybody is ever in a state of crisis or severe depression and needs help, please PM me, I'll do the best I can to try to help you work through it or just be there as a person to talk to. I don't like to see anybody in that state.
Word.
-J

same goes for me. just pm me if you really need someone that wont judge you to vent to.

[SKriBL*666]

I've said it before on Page 1 and said it again, if anybody is ever in a state of crisis or severe depression and needs help, please PM me, I'll do the best I can to try to help you work through it or just be there as a person to talk to. I don't like to see anybody in that state.
Word, mad love.
-J

Man, that takes balls to say rite there.
People these days never wanna be there for people.

mad :wub:

[MAST]

i love helping people out in situations like that, but sometimes i just have no idea what to tell them after hearing certain problems

[Seek38]

Yeah depression is a sticky situation. sometimes when you try to reach out to people, they just take you as a drama queen or an attention seeker type...and then the people who never reach out keep their thoughts bottled..and their situation escalates

[scary letters]

has anyone seen The Bridge, by erik steele. i saw it today, and it really changed the way i think about that whole issue. This director had a 12 man crew set up cameras on the marin side of the golden gate and filmed 23 of the 24 people that jumped last year. It was extremely tough to watch and i wouldnt see it again, and alot of people got up and bounced during those scenes, but there were some parts that really make you think. they interviewed 6 or 7 of the only known survivors to jump off the bridge, (they said less than 2% of people who jump), and it was sad hearing all their stories and shit. think about that shit, every single one said that as soon as they jumped they realized that all their problems in life could be fixed, except for that they'd just took a dive off the bridge. its sad to think of all the people who die there every year who dont survive and probably have the same thoughts.

good flik, not for the sensitive, but made me look at things differently for sure.

[SLEDGEHAMMER]

Shit man, my mums friend (man) was recently sitting on the edge of a cliff thinking because he was down and some people spotted him so they phoned the police, the poluice turned up with the mans brother, they asked him to come back off the cliff and he was getting up to walk to them and slipped off and died aged 35-45 not sure the exact age but his funeral was 2 days ago.
He was clearly thinking about suicide but when he decided to make the right choice fate took a nasty turn.

R.I.P.

[MAST]

has anyone seen The Bridge, by erik steele. i saw it today, and it really changed the way i think about that whole issue. This director had a 12 man crew set up cameras on the marin side of the golden gate and filmed 23 of the 24 people that jumped last year. It was extremely tough to watch and i wouldnt see it again, and alot of people got up and bounced during those scenes, but there were some parts that really make you think. they interviewed 6 or 7 of the only known survivors to jump off the bridge, (they said less than 2% of people who jump), and it was sad hearing all their stories and shit. think about that shit, every single one said that as soon as they jumped they realized that all their problems in life could be fixed, except for that they'd just took a dive off the bridge. its sad to think of all the people who die there every year who dont survive and probably have the same thoughts.

good flik, not for the sensitive, but made me look at things differently for sure.

wow. just wow. i've been watching clips from this movie on youtube, and it looks so insanely heavy. i honestly think i would cry if i saw this.

[scary letters]

^the most insightful parts of the movie are the interviews, but yea actually seeing it is another thing. I went with the gf and we both cried, if you dont something's wrong. i cross the ggb at least once a week, and its hard to get that stuff out of your mind. ive never seen any piece of film thats impacted me more, it really makes you think.

[BORG]

i saw a few clips of this vid, so i downloaded it, but am not sure whether to watch it or not, can you tell me if theres some gore in this, cause i honestly am not tryin to see that shit, also is this vid just a bunch of interviews and jumpers???? what else does it contain if not??????? i'm sorry, i'm kinda anxious bout watchin such a intense film

heres some clips-------
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Zwl-Pa_QT0M
http://youtube.com/watch?v=rwpDqyRSyt4&feature=related
http://youtube.com/watch?v=QTtwThhdxf8&feature=related
interview with kevin hines (survivor)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=L5FO0ab3HFM

[KID XYLENE]

im having uncontrollable mood swings and im taking it out on people who are close to me. im losing trust and interest in all of my friends. i get anxiety just sitting in my room bymyself thinking about how alone i am. yet i can be in a room of 20 people and i still feel completely alone. im slowly isolating my self from loved ones. i pace around my house all hours of the night starting now 1:00am untill round 4:00 am. i dont have enough money to afford therapy.
im developing minor ocds. cleaning things organizing things having to keep my self occupied.
one minute ill be veggin out on my bed, then all of a sudden someone says something that just irritates me, the next minute i feel like i need to leave the house or ill beat the shit out of everyone in it.
i havnt been eating. food has lost all its flavor. im losing all hope in aspect of love career and personal health

i dont know what to do with myself anymore.

[AMansNotACamel]

The same answer can be given to most people that feel this way. Though, a deep, meaningful answer is often replied with a "you don't understand!"
So.
Stop losing trust in your friends. Stop being anxious. Stop being alone. Stop isolating yourself (making things worse for you deliberately). Stop pacing. Get money for therapy. Stop developing minor ocd's. Stop being irritated. Start eating. Start having hope. Look for something to do with yourself.

[vegimite on toast]

cheers for the summary
cant read much these days

[jape-the-nape]

kid xylene sounds just like me but i dont bitch about myh problems in a suicide thread,eat a spoon of cement and harden the fuck up,go bombing or something.

[BIGel]

^so why come here honestly? if thats your advice then yea your a tuff guy go handle it, if he said something that helps his ass out then why should he give a fuck? hiding that shit inside make you a dead man at 25, not an e-hero, and thats a fact. its something in alot of these peoples heads, and your ideas of just hardening up is gonna make you a bitter old man *****h you know that.

and borg yea just watch it bro, if you saw the u-tube shit thats the worst parts, its genuinly worth it, it'll change you.

[SAID]

dope thread.

[KID XYLENE]

i just dont care anymore.... and i obvoisly need something to motivate me... and i dont know what. but colors are slowly geting bland, my conversations with others are fucked... i sumtimes just stop mid sentence... then tell the person i dont care anymore, ive been being brutaly honest with people lately... wich is mostly a bad things. im only seeing the negative in everything and i dont know how to stop it...

why?

[AOTPs]

u bomb and shit cuz use that as motivatetion,u cant let urself get like that man u gotta talk to ur friends they should b able to help...u gotta tlk to ppl ...find sumtin u enjoy a shit load and use that on ur track back to happiness

[fannypack uprock]

im gonna tell ya homie. why isnt the question at hand. and i know how the thought processes go and why is seemingly the first and foremost.. but in my opinion if you have to ask why then you arent ready to know. instead.. focus on things that are not only easier to handle.. but are more directly related to solving the problem. what can i do about it should be the new anthem. taking a step towards helping yourself is the best thing you can do. even if it starts with the little things.. do things that you know make you happy.. or atleast relax you. thats another thing. relaxation is so fucking key.. cant stress it enough. in the end. its all about changing your perspective on things. you cant expect the world around you to change.. but you sure as shit can change the way you see/deal with things. might be easier said than done.. but if theres any way you can make even small steps towards it than i suggest it more than most things..

[KID XYLENE]

the thing is i dont know who my friends are. all my freinds have turned out to be shit and have just been using me.. and now im paranoid that the very few freinds i have left are going to do the same thing... i cant turn to family.. i burned those bridges long ago...
i cant relax in my own home... i feel traped in my own room.. and my roomate makes me very uneasy.

dont think im not listening to what everyone is saying.
im listening to all of it soaking it in wile i can

[unknown...]

kid where do you live man. you should go to a highschool and go talk to a counselor there. they will understand and do it for free.

[KID XYLENE]

kid where do you live man. you should go to a highschool and go talk to a counselor there. they will understand and do it for free.


well im 21. and if i went anywhere near a highschool i would most likely be arested for suspicion. honestly i dont think a highschool counselor could even fathom the sea of shit my brain is going through right now. let alone look me in the eye.
in my situation that wouldnt be an option.

but for sum kids that would be really good advice. thank you for the idea

[G-Fat]

kid, as much as you think your life is shit now, shit alwsys eventually turns around. your life will be good again as for when i don't know. i kinda know what you mean feeling used by your friends and not knoiwng who the real ones are, all i can say to that is friends matter, but if your unsure about them all you need is a person to talk to, friend or not. just talk to someone or better yet focus on something...start like writing down everything etc keep yourself occupied man. just remember no matter how bad things get, they'll always turn around.

[JETPACK!!]

if gfat takes you seriously, you've got something worth living for

[the resk]

i saw a few clips of this vid, so i downloaded it, but am not sure whether to watch it or not, can you tell me if theres some gore in this, cause i honestly am not tryin to see that shit, also is this vid just a bunch of interviews and jumpers???? what else does it contain if not??????? i'm sorry, i'm kinda anxious bout watchin such a intense film

heres some clips-------
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Zwl-Pa_QT0M
http://youtube.com/watch?v=rwpDqyRSyt4&feature=related
http://youtube.com/watch?v=QTtwThhdxf8&feature=related
interview with kevin hines (survivor)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=L5FO0ab3HFM

Can someone please tell me where could I download the film?
I know its heavy and all of that, but I think it could be interesting

[MAST]

kid, as much as you think your life is shit now, shit alwsys eventually turns around. your life will be good again as for when i don't know. i kinda know what you mean feeling used by your friends and not knoiwng who the real ones are, all i can say to that is friends matter, but if your unsure about them all you need is a person to talk to, friend or not. just talk to someone or better yet focus on something...start like writing down everything etc keep yourself occupied man. just remember no matter how bad things get, they'll always turn around.

i was about to say exactly that. write down everything. write down your thoughts. write down what you are going through mentally and physically. if you want to, change the perspective and turn them into a story. write songs. write on walls. write wherever and whatever you please. just write.

[the resk]

Can someone please tell me where could I download the film?
I know its heavy and all of that, but I think it could be interesting

BUMP the question

[Thrice]

We should have memorials on here for them.

[Noddles912300]

Just google The Bridge and go to video (under more near bottom)

[Thrice]

for the writers on here that we have lost.

[aslum666]

One of my good friends shot himself in the neck and bleed to death in his room while his mother was trying to kick the door down. She never got to him.

If he could have seen how it affected all of his friends and family I know he would have never done it. I miss that kid..
ya man suicide is just stupid. I mean you dont just throw away your life like that.

[fannypack uprock]

well. some people do. thats what this thread is here for. for an open forum and discussion on the topic.

[Thrice]

im having uncontrollable mood swings and im taking it out on people who are close to me. im losing trust and interest in all of my friends. i get anxiety just sitting in my room bymyself thinking about how alone i am. yet i can be in a room of 20 people and i still feel completely alone. im slowly isolating my self from loved ones. i pace around my house all hours of the night starting now 1:00am untill round 4:00 am. i dont have enough money to afford therapy.
im developing minor ocds. cleaning things organizing things having to keep my self occupied.
one minute ill be veggin out on my bed, then all of a sudden someone says something that just irritates me, the next minute i feel like i need to leave the house or ill beat the shit out of everyone in it.
i havnt been eating. food has lost all its flavor. im losing all hope in aspect of love career and personal health

i dont know what to do with myself anymore.

Im right there with you man, and have been since like 3rd grade. Life can be rough, try to find some local writers. It really helps to chill out and socialize with as many people as you can, i usually find something to say to people, like "sweet kicks man, where did you get them?" Find people who you are on the same page as you.

[AMansNotACamel]

So what your saying is, chill with as many depressed, suicidal people as you can...

[KID XYLENE]

Im right there with you man, and have been since like 3rd grade. Life can be rough, try to find some local writers. It really helps to chill out and socialize with as many people as you can, i usually find something to say to people, like "sweet kicks man, where did you get them?" Find people who you are on the same page as you.


tottaly gave me the image of 3rd graders cutting thier wrists bleeding everywhere

im going to assume by "same page" you mean intellegence/campanionship level... not on the break of insanity...
its very hard to be on the "same page as me" and when i do find poeple, they just abandon me like everyone else.
nobody gives a shit about me unless they need something and all i do is give and get nothing in return.

[unknown...]

why do all these ignorant dudes get on here talking shit about people who obviously have thoughts of suicide and problems. amansnotacamel. your a dumbass. everyone grow up or dont post in a topic as serious as this.

[Thrice]

ya companionship.....you know people who listen to the same music, share the same hobbies and stuff. I get abandoned alot too, but i keep finding new friends when it happens.

[Inkjecting Heron]

Im going to kill my self soon

[Inkjecting Heron]

im really serious
:(

[Thrice]

sorry to hear that man, hope you think it through well and clearly. I dont know who you are, what you're going through, you're faith or anything; but i will say that there is love in your life and you have to allow yourself to open up to it. I shut down my heart and sheltered it from friends, family, and everyone to avoid pain, but as i opened it more i have been a lot more content. Im not saying "don't do it, it's wrong." "you're going to hell" or any of that bull shit, i will say make sure you know what you're doing, what you could be missing out on, and who might your suicide hurt more and cause pain to. There is a cure and what could be your possible future could easily make it worth while.

[thesilentvandal]

i somtimes think about it, just, my life is fucked up, most of the people hate me, but when it happens i just dont think about it, just go write, it passes , eventualy

[sketch3]

Im going to kill my self soon

ur gunna hurt alot of people, i dont know ur situation but ur friends an fam dont deserve the pain, no one dose.
if u cum out with that i dont have friends bull, just stop cuss unless ur a complete asshole ul have atleast one person who is gunna be afected for the rest of their life,
not to mention the poor sod whos gunna find the bodie/the drain on the police budget dealing wth it

[Inkjecting Heron]

ur gunna hurt alot of people, i dont know ur situation but ur friends an fam dont deserve the pain, no one dose.
if u cum out with that i dont have friends bull, just stop cuss unless ur a complete asshole ul have atleast one person who is gunna be afected for the rest of their life,
not to mention the poor sod whos gunna find the bodie/the drain on the police budget dealing wth it

shit with my pregnant girl friend isnt going good.
she is a month pregnant but i found out she was flirting with some guys.
im only 16.

im not making it through school.
i have mad enemys.
i get shot at monthly.
i was almost beaten to death and pistol whiped.
all over graff.

i cant even smoke weed anymore im on probation for 2 years.
next time i even so much as have a dirty urine test i serve 2 years in a juvenille prison. :(:(

[Thrice]

drugs will create and intensify your depression.

[sketch3]

u think havin a kid growin up with out his dad is gunna solv shit,
look no matter how bad shit is it cant be worse than being dead,
if u do get capped then shits unfortunate,
but if u decide to end it urself then shits just fuckin stupid,
i know ill never meet u, an times seem rough right now,
but nothings worse taking ur life over,especially if u got a young family,
how the fuck is ur girl gunna cope bringin up a baby at 16 by herself,
she was flirting so wat,if u do sumthing stupid it will fuck up a gang of peoples lives,
u got a baby on the way u gotta be a selfish cunt to bounce for good,

sheet weve all been fucked up/in beef i got ambushed with hammers but suicide wont solve shit

edit i dont think u should be smokin atm, go see a profesional- not even to get a shrink, just sumone impartial to talk to, cuss beleave me if u knew me in person ud be shocked id care about u

[Msfyt]

make some priorities

do you want to be a good father?
what does that mean to you?
will an education help you achieve this?
why do you find yourself around violence?

only being 16 i suggest you lay low on the graffiti for a bit, because it will always be there when you straighten out the rest of your life
normally id say use the fact youre a minor to do something illegal, but when you have a baby on the way and need to improve in school you have to change how your living your life

plus graffiti can exist without beef or violence, you just need to look harder

shit with my pregnant girl friend isnt going good.
she is a month pregnant but i found out she was flirting with some guys.
im only 16.

im not making it through school.
i have mad enemys.
i get shot at monthly.
i was almost beaten to death and pistol whiped.
all over graff.

i cant even smoke weed anymore im on probation for 2 years.
next time i even so much as have a dirty urine test i serve 2 years in a juvenille prison. :(:(

[Inkjecting Heron]

make some priorities


plus graffiti can exist without beef or violence, you just need to look harder
no it cannot.
not in my city.

its full of fag tag bangers.

[sketch3]

myfst is right man,
unless ur unimagenably dope enuff to make a career outta it graf is just a pass time,
u got bigger fish to fry

[KID XYLENE]

im fucked up right now... like my head is spinning.
chillin alone in my room trying to lax out with sum beats..
headies,vics,yay,addies. my brain is on the fritz.
no one in the house is conscious.
if the music skips i think ill lose it.

[GeSuS_KRiST]

thats why ipods rock...

but really why would u loose it, its just a skip man..
not worth hurting your self over smoke a dirty and throw on some clowning comedy..
that adderals probably whats fucking u up man, the come down with speed is liek that

[KID XYLENE]

ipods are way to rich for my blood.
lonely as shit
tree and madvillan.. good for the soul

[GeSuS_KRiST]

bump my beats... they chill here ya go...

chur up mane, u got drugs, get lifted and be happy, that my motto homie...
http://download.yousendit.com/0E6728F000190F4B
Gesus - Baby im dizzy