Suicide

[Inkjecting Heron]

im not killing my self because i feel gay now for acting like an emo fag
coughgesuscoughcough

[AMansNotACamel]

why do all these ignorant dudes get on here talking shit about people who obviously have thoughts of suicide and problems. amansnotacamel. your a dumbass. everyone grow up or dont post in a topic as serious as this.
Yo I totally agree. Though no matter how much you don't like me saying it, a lot of people who post in here have no intention of listening to the answers that are given to them. Often, when someone gives a nice well thought answer to someones questions about their problems, they get a retort like 'You don't understand' or whatever. Obviously if somebody has a genuine problem that they are asking about people will answer with respect. But. When some dumb fucking cunt tells people they should only associate with depressed, suicidal people as if it would solve their problems, sarcasm deserves to be thrown at them. Which IS what that cat was saying. Also when people ask dumb questions like 'drugs fuck my life bla bla bla, what can I do to stop feeling this way' use a bit of common sense. Forreals if drugs are fucking your life, like if anything else was fucking your life. Dissociate yourself. For fuck sake it's relatively easy to employ even a bit of common sense when searching for answers.
As for suicide in general, it does need to be taken seriously, people who are severely depressed that do or do not tell anyone about it need answers they can use not answers like 'I feel you mang.' However, heads who ask for help but are not willing to accept it and push the same point/reason to commit suicide over again (inferring they are not using methods to make themselves better) are idiots.
I guess, overall, what I am really getting at, is this should be a place for people who genuinely want help to get legitimate ways of helping themselves or seeking it out, talking about experiences which would help people seeking understanding NOT a place for glorification of an act like suicide.

[Msfyt]

this thread was never made as a glorification perhaps you should read the very first post again
as it was all about exactly what you said, finding legitimate ways of helping people

[Msfyt]

no it cannot.
not in my city.

its full of fag tag bangers.

dig your hole deeper if you want
but i know that all towns have graffiti artists that dont revolve around violence

and if you seriously think it doesnt exist, than stand out from the crowd
show that it can
eventually the same people looking for violence free graffiti will find you
anyways calling people fag tag bangers shows youre happy dissing others who are in the same community as you

[KID XYLENE]

im isolating my self to my head

[JEDI-MASTER]

shits made a 180 these past couuple weeks damn im happy as shit nd cant wait for gesus beats to get hur cant wait that shit is iiln!!! ne 1 who diises on em should well...i dont think its appropraite to sat but chyea!!! so happy n drunk lol

[SeapNSR]

yeh man
my best mate through high school was the over achiever and i was the rat bag
dont really know how we were friends
but in societys eyes ive grown up to become a worthless peice of shit vandal and he couldve been whatever the fuck he wanted
and he decided to kill himself
rip bro
not half as bad as my mates dad gassing himself when he was 8
man shit can get fucked up i pretty much spend every day wanting to off myself cuz the more i try to let shit out the more i get in trouble the more i dont see a point
only thing that keeps me going is the thought of my family and friends faces when they found out i lopped myself off a building...probably the way id do it after painting that roof
which reminds me of another mate who jumped last year
rip man
man i wish people could understand we do what we do cuz its the only thing that keeps us running
well i should speak for myself but i doubt im the only one like this

its like when homies get sent to jail for drugs and shit
how the fuck is that gunna help them get straight
its just gunna send them further down the spiral until they end up under a train or soemthing
why not try help them get better instead of worse
fucking pathetic
kill other people before you kill yourself yo
genocide solves all problems

[Thrice]

im cool with all you said....except those last 2 lines.....wtf dude? (talking to seap)

[walkdatline]

Yo I totally agree. Though no matter how much you don't like me saying it, a lot of people who post in here have no intention of listening to the answers that are given to them. Often, when someone gives a nice well thought answer to someones questions about their problems, they get a retort like 'You don't understand' or whatever. Obviously if somebody has a genuine problem that they are asking about people will answer with respect. But. When some dumb fucking cunt tells people they should only associate with depressed, suicidal people as if it would solve their problems, sarcasm deserves to be thrown at them. Which IS what that cat was saying. Also when people ask dumb questions like 'drugs fuck my life bla bla bla, what can I do to stop feeling this way' use a bit of common sense. Forreals if drugs are fucking your life, like if anything else was fucking your life. Dissociate yourself. For fuck sake it's relatively easy to employ even a bit of common sense when searching for answers.
As for suicide in general, it does need to be taken seriously, people who are severely depressed that do or do not tell anyone about it need answers they can use not answers like 'I feel you mang.' However, heads who ask for help but are not willing to accept it and push the same point/reason to commit suicide over again (inferring they are not using methods to make themselves better) are idiots.
I guess, overall, what I am really getting at, is this should be a place for people who genuinely want help to get legitimate ways of helping themselves or seeking it out, talking about experiences which would help people seeking understanding NOT a place for glorification of an act like suicide.


dog...a lotta the time ppl arent lookin for some to fix thier problems for them...jus a listening ear....they usually jus need sumbody to vent on..

also there is a differencce between being depressed or sad and really contemplating suicide...and i see a lot of ppl in here that r jus depressed

[cds_dogg665544]

im fucked up right now... like my head is spinning.
chillin alone in my room trying to lax out with sum beats..
headies,vics,yay,addies. my brain is on the fritz.
no one in the house is conscious.
if the music skips i think ill lose it.

just like me homie i got a surround sound that hooks up to my ipod i spend all my time in my room listening to music when i wake up listen to music and i do watch alittle bit of comedy network at night ive been sick for the past week hope ill be better by tommorow and be able to bomb this friday

atleast im not really depressed like usual

[KID XYLENE]

pushed them all away.
No friends, No girls, No family.
No money means soon No wheels, No roof over my head or No clothes on my body.
No motivation.

regrets overshadowing acomplishments.
No more hope.

nothing makes any sense to me anymore.

blowing addies made my brain overthink itself a couple days ago. almost as if it thought my life out for me, then decided it wasnt worth it. i spend a good amount of my time where i think i could end all the pain just by thinking about it...
hours spent lost in human thought.

nothing really matters anymore.

ive become numb to the world around me.

honestly... im not afraid.. just numb

[Fazed]

Good thread idea

Any of my friends on here if you ever need any help, I'm not just talking about things so serious as suicide, but anything like relationship troubles, depression, or just any old bad day always feel open to drop me a pm, or ask me for my AIM.



same here.

[JEDI-MASTER]

live for the short run, plan just enough for the long run to survive. enjoy yourself because you never know, tomorrow you could be hit by a bus.

and jedi-master i talk to my boys about shit like that all the time once the 40s dusted. theres too many questions and not enough answers, even if life is a fictional dream. do whats fun and make it a good dream. you wont know what life is about until your facing death.

was n a police pursuit crashed flipped almost died i still dont have a clue wat lifes about

[charles408]

great thread.

suicide is the most selfish ever

what were the members names how did you find out?

[Thrice]

well wherever you are is not getting you anywhere, and it seems you have nothing to lose, so i'd suggest leaving and finding somewhere new and try finding a job and finding a new life.

[KID XYLENE]

it would be like building a sandcastle when the tides coming in

[SOBER]

i was about to say exactly that. write down everything. write down your thoughts. write down what you are going through mentally and physically. if you want to, change the perspective and turn them into a story. write songs. write on walls. write wherever and whatever you please. just write.


thats amazing advice
just get it out anyway you can. i used to stay up at night and just talk and pretend someones listening. it actually really helped me, i dunno if itll do the same for you. and like gesus said you should probably stay away from adderall because the comedown of the makes me feel even more depressed and sometimes suicidal.
other than that i dont really know what to tell you

[fannypack uprock]

it would be like building a sandcastle when the tides coming in

well that would be like thinking and not trying to have your negative outlook on things affect you. sometimes the view out of the window does make a difference. if you arent sure about your friends and things you either need to find new friends in your area or find your friends in a new area. know what i mean?

[KID XYLENE]

well that would be like thinking and not trying to have your negative outlook on things affect you. sometimes the view out of the window does make a difference. if you arent sure about your friends and things you either need to find new friends in your area or find your friends in a new area. know what i mean?

easyer said than done...
thanks tho

[Thrice]

true, but you should definately go for it, if you are so close to the edge and you intend to just fall off, give it a shot and try to jump it.

[-des-]

Suicides been on my mind alot lately.....winter is just so damn depressing! gotta admit though this thread could help...

[SALVO]

This song always makes me feel better after I listen to it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NH2bqTc88ns
Try it, you never know.

[Evasion Of Invasion]

my moms threatening to send me to councilling cuz she thinks im suicidal because shes seen cuts and scars on my body . I'm not suicidal but I use cutting to reflect inner pain as a sort of balance where if a person is to c u physically they c a mental version of u to so I display mental scars through physical ones but then again maybe I am just fucked up

[STR-WHO]

hahaha wen i was 12 i tried to commit suicide, then realized i was being a tard then stopped

[SAID]

you guys mannn.
fuck suicide.
it took me someone in my family to die for me to realize this..
(wrote this when he died)

Some shit made me realize that you cant spend your life moaping around and being sad. You gotta go out there and give it all you got. Im starting to learn not to give two fucks about much that doesnt matter. Dont take shit personally, just laugh with them. You have to do what you want, cause we're all gonna end up at the same place and i know when i end up there, i'll know i lived my life to the fullest and have no regrets.

"Realized that life’s a bitch, and shit you gotta be able to stand it
Smoke weed, shoot hoops.. What ever you find your happiness through."
classified.

[IkontheHologram]

you guys mannn.
fuck suicide.
it took me someone in my family to die for me to realize this..
(wrote this when he died)

Some shit made me realize that you cant spend your life moaping around and being sad. You gotta go out there and give it all you got. Im starting to learn not to give two fucks about much that doesnt matter. Dont take shit personally, just laugh with them. You have to do what you want, cause we're all gonna end up at the same place and i know when i end up there, i'll know i lived my life to the fullest and have no regrets.

"Realized that life’s a bitch, and shit you gotta be able to stand it
Smoke weed, shoot hoops.. What ever you find your happiness through."
classified.

I dont want to say this to be rude but who in your family died? Anyway, my brother died when I was 14 and I must say this totally changed my whole perspective on life. Sometimes I feel the way you do but other times Im fucking low. It feels good to know people are going through the same struggle. Peace.

[L3w15"Skylark"]

When i first met my girlfriend i have now three years ago, she was on the edge, shed cut almost every other day, she couldnt take enough perks to get through the day. it took over a year and a half to get her to stop drugs and not cut, WE are battling the problem even presently. You have to keep in mind that this wont stop within the next day, the next week, or even up to the next year. Its tough and not just on the person whos trying to help you fix it, But also on yourself, youve just gotta have the drive/heart to wanna fix this. In my experience, it doesnt start with THINKING life is worth it, youve gotta BELIVE life is worth it, have a EXPERIENCE that makes you belive. It could be anything from talking everyday to someone who cares for you, Holding the person in your arms and just showing you care even when you dont feel there sad or anything but doing cuz you do care. And to the people who are mouling it over in your mind, just remember that youll always have someone to talk to expecially on this thread, i cant speak for the rest of you but i know for a fact that ill listen to anyone if there haveing a problem, and im sure that almost anyone whos had a loss from this in there life would be willing to talk, or even listen and at the least share there experience with you, becuase we all know that the world shouldnt lose anymore young people to this kind of fate.Even if you have to, put a suicide number in all your phones, and have it under a false name or something if you dont wanna feel embarassed or w/e if someone sees it if your worryed. carry around a card in your wallet. if your feeling depressed, write stuff down/make poems/take a sharpie and just scribble to let it out if you have to. and if you ever get a chance, get rid of pretty much anything in your house that youve ever though about harming yourself with, even things you tell yourself you wont use, get rid of it anyway (it just causes the temptation).

Just remember, theres ways around all this,remember that the world is yours so take it, dont let it all go

[SAID]

I dont want to say this to be rude but who in your family died? Anyway, my brother died when I was 14 and I must say this totally changed my whole perspective on life. Sometimes I feel the way you do but other times Im fucking low. It feels good to know people are going through the same struggle. Peace.
one of my uncles.
it wasnt so much his death that fucked me up,
but seeing the people i really care about being hurt and freaking out.
everyone seemed so clueless, theres no words to describe it.
you know?
but i agree, it fucken puts me down sometimes,
but i just try and think back to his death and my grandfathers death,
and be like yo, i cant spend time being low,
do what you love while you can.
feel me ?

[Sunk]

i was think bout suicide before i got into graff. shit really turned me around. literarlly saved my life

[IkontheHologram]

one of my uncles.
it wasnt so much his death that fucked me up,
but seeing the people i really care about being hurt and freaking out.
everyone seemed so clueless, theres no words to describe it.
you know?
but i agree, it fucken puts me down sometimes,
but i just try and think back to his death and my grandfathers death,
and be like yo, i cant spend time being low,
do what you love while you can.
feel me ?
yeah, i know what you mean
its just hard for people to realize you can die at any moment and the whole saying "live everyday like its your last" is rarely ever applied. its harder to live this way but it should be what life's all about

[dred]

a few days ago this kid i knew died. his name was kyle. he didn't really fit in well cause you know, he was homosexual. everybody in the school feared him though because he was the strongest person in the world. he had down syndrome as well and that contributed to the constant bullying he recieved from this person named "cody." R.I.P. kyle, fgt

[SAID]

man fuck that cody kid.
i fucken hate bitches like that.
you gotta know when to fucken stop.
rest in peaceee

[letsg0skate]

I've never considered suicide, but sometimes when I'm feeling down or whatever, I just write down things that are on my mind, and I feel better. Maybe it would help someone else too

[SAID]

just take your anger out on the city.
thats what i do man.
go out and destroyyy.

[The_NaMEz_BaNKz]

i like this thread...one of the main reasons i write is to never be forgotten...

as just a regular person you die tommrow ...people mourn goto your funeral..and still cry weeks after your death maybe..

years later your forgotten..not totally but people just go on with there lives ..and they only remember you when your brung up....

but as a writer you die tommrow..
people mourn you death....still feel it weeks later..and your never forgotten because your name is everywhere...your never forgotten...people remember you as there driving to work and they see your name on the rooftop...

when there walking to the store and they see one of your vibrant and colorful stickers
or see a tag of yours...


but idk...life is life...you die.....and your reincarnated...and re-live the same life over and over again...i.e. DEJA VU ?....brief memories of the same life you've been living over again..

[SAID]

you bring up a good point about deja views
:eek::eek:

[The_NaMEz_BaNKz]

yea me and my friend hav shockingly realistic theories of life...its weird

another one i though of is...

THE VIRGIN MARY?...

yea a angel came down from the sky and put the baby in her

but naa it wasnt no angel
i think it was a alien that came from the sky and artifically inseminated her....now before you say thats jus crazy...what sounds more beleviable..

woman get artifically inseminated everyday...and u can be artifically inseminated and still be a virgin..

[BombingSciences Bitch]

I like your first theory, but i really don't care about the second one.

[pdxmith]

if u dont believe in god how do you think we got here

[sir.one]

me.

[Detoxication]

if u dont believe in god how do you think we got here

we all started out as little bacteria.. us humans were just the fastest parasites to evolve over the millions of years, therefore taking over..

[Mr Tasty]

nothing is going right in my life...im to weak to handle any of my problems...to weak to kill myself...if it wasnt for alchohal as a distraction....id prob just sit here and go crazy
people have it worse...maybe im just weaker then them....im too young to be having the problems i am now...i dont deserve this....why can other people live happy lives....its fucking bullshit...

[Mr Tasty]

im sory

[BLTZ]

Damn this sucks
Gotti ODed on methadone lastnight He apparently wanted it to end

R.I.P.

[Mr Tasty]

coome to engalnd ym girlfeindd did it...we have free hleacare or somerhin like thtat....dude i know i dont have it bad but im living it bad for m gF....and i cant undertrand how bad shes goign thru...but shes putting me thru it and she dont undsrantd and i dono what to think...my lifes misery....ive gone thru happnynes and no wry to fucking deprsaion and too much wortry.l....understand what its like fofr a newbie to experience this shti.......its prob no problemsl for u guys with real prglelms.....but im not ued to this sht...and its not my falutly.....ive just been shelterd all my life....now its hitting e ....nad it makes me cry for all the ppl who sfuffer......fuckit...call me a puisy or winmp cos i care...bu i dont care....

[Mr Tasty]

sorry i just read my post...its kinda s fucked iuop./..i just meany we have cheaper health care....i realy mean it...im getting surgery for free becuarse the NHS wichj is the brityish health care shit is gonna takje care of my problems.....my girlreind is onylk in england for this reasons.......the heahlcare

[The_NaMEz_BaNKz]

yea i beleve in god....i dont beleve in the big bang theorie...

becuase somthing had to create the components that were in the big bang theoriee

[IlikePie]

My suggestion is to try and not worry so much. We all got a lot of shit to go through during life, I've been going through depression for the last few years, and about a month and a half I was here contemplating killing myself. Things eventually get better, you just gotta put your head up and stick it through. Good luck Tasty, once you hit rock bottom, you just gotta go up.

And to that other guy, if God does exist, what created God?

[Mr Tasty]

fuck all that god shit!!!!!!!!!!!! faim so piosed of with all these fucing christains ...wathc the fuckign zeigstist documenraty fucing assholes

[Mr Tasty]

zeitgeist

[T O K E]

not all christians are bad people like that movie prolly tries to say but alot of christians are good people who have good morals and have faith in something that i could personally never belive in, dont let little things like that get to you, sure the church is corruput and its prolly always been corupt but the people there are just lookiung for something to believe in and a reason to act right, i wish i could feel that way about religion

[Mr Tasty]

religion is a good thing....it has saved the world from chaos....bt its fucking lies.....thas what botherd sme.......our whole life...evne sivne i was born i was a chgristian...but our whole life is lies.......jesus is no more then a fucking carpenter.....i woudlnyt trust the fucker the fix my bed.......and fuck the bible....its provren its a bunch of shit....i woudl take a dump on jesues cross right now
fuck jesus FU~CK JESS+_s

[The_NaMEz_BaNKz]

i wouldent trust jesus to fix my bed...look the earth is jus a food and harvest planet for aliens....its jus a body harvest...people die everyday...the aliens fabricatedthe earth so we will have something to live for...think about it..we live we die..live the same life over again...

[Mr Tasty]

ppl die everyidaty?so what good is a dead corpse..we are jkust food right? wat is our real pint of being alvie....seoruslt....are we jsut hear to suffer and die....the ppl that donet soffer...matbe they will go to hgeavent and live perfect lifes.....all of us are fuckign suffering.....we are just entertainment for the rich,..,..we make them feel better with our misery.....ther is no other fucking pont...wya re we all so sad???? misery and povery.....

[The_NaMEz_BaNKz]

god gave the world to the hands of the evil...now ask yourself...who runs the world....

YEA..WE LIVE IN A GOVERMENT THAT ONLY WANTS TO HELP THEMSELVES...

LIVING IN A GOVERMENT OF LIES...THAT ARE RUTHLESS ..CUT THROAT AND WILL DO ANYTHING FOR MONEY..i.E. SEPT 11..THE OWNER OF WTC GOT PAID AROUND 26 BILLION DOLLARS....SO THEY COULD DESTROY HIS BUILDING AND HAVE A REASON TO GOTO WAR WITH IRAQ...U CAN TELL IT WAS PLANNED OUT BECUASE THREW ALL THAT FUCKING RUBBLE IT TOOK SO LONG TO FIND BODIES BUT THEY FOUND THERE PASSPORTS ?

LIES.....THATS KINDA LIKE WHAT ADOLF HITLER DID WAY BACK WHEN ..BURNED DOWN HIS OWN CONGRESS HALL AND BLAMED IT ON THE JEWS TO START THE WAR...JUS LIKE WE DID

u cant raise a family on mininum wage..why do u think most of us are locked in a cage ?
you better off poor and innocent..then rich and guilty

one day i think bush would allow a nuke to hit new york...to start up the draft and have us fight his fucking war for money,power and greed..

THE DEVIL GROWS INSIDE THOSE OF THE SELFISH AND WICKED

AND IF U CANT ACKNOWLEDGE THE REALITY OF MY WORDS..YOUR JUS ANOTHER STUPID MOTHER FUCKER OUT ON THE CURB

[IlikePie]

You sound like everyone I've talked to that's opposed to [American] Government. Sadly, this isn't the thread to talk about it, this thread is supposed to be for people who have problems, not your rant, so you can prove you're a "free thinker".

[The_NaMEz_BaNKz]

Yea I Know Lets Get Back On Topic...

[KID XYLENE]

^^^ kid... do you even read what you type or even realize how fucking stupid you sound?
fuck! you sound like a 15 year old that smoked pot with his hippie uncle for the first time over the weeked, now quoting him to try and sound smart infront of your loser friends. im not saying that i dissagree with your views.... im just telling you that you sound like an idiot.

this is a suicide thread.
lets keep it that way

[ekimboi1]

you ppl gotta remember that suicide is the most selfish thing!your in a lot of pain, and you kill yourself!? now your family has to deal with the death of you!and i hate how ppl dont believe in god and then say "RIP he/she is in heaven now". No!I hate to say it but if you kill yourself, you are not going to heaven!(that is unless you believe in god).

sorry if i offended anyone!

[KID XYLENE]

you ppl gotta remember that suicide is the most selfish thing!your in a lot of pain, and you kill yourself!? now your family has to deal with the death of you!and i hate how ppl dont believe in god and then say "RIP he/she is in heaven now". No!I hate to say it but if you kill yourself, you are not going to heaven!(that is unless you believe in god).

sorry if i offended anyone!

^^^once again...
your post idealy has nothing to do with the topic... its just another rant.
this thread was made for help/advice. all you did was ramble about god and heaven.
suicide is not always selfish... ever read about seppuku or hara-kiri?

im pretty sure someone on the verge of ending it all has come to terms that they are going to cease to exist/ go to hell/ whatever afterlife you believe in.

sorry if i offend you. but you also sound like an idoit.

[Mr Tasty]

i judyfjvih skr uogim stukn nihjy....jud t ftunkinh,,, vlntbekve u tgit hie
i just got hom i doknt knwot hotwi ot omhome or ho w m tpyig i woke uo n the mddlke of emtty dttreet of man walking hs dog......

[Mr Tasty]

im alive again angani o nt eh toplcws,,,

[Noddles912300]

Mr.Tasty i really hope ur gonna be ok. Im worried cause i cant even really understand wat ur typing.
And for kid-xylene Seppuku and Hara-Kiri were in a way selfish because it was a way to die with honor, they didnt really care wat happened to the family or who ever, long as they died with honor.

[Recon]

zeitgeist

Believing everything in that propoganda is like taking everything on wikipedia literally.

You need some real knowledge. Read Ishmael and A short history of progress

Regardless of "gods" or "higher beings" Everything on the earth is interconnected, and everything sets off a reaction. We're animals, and hadn't it been for stumbling across the agricultural revolution and the domestication of plants and animals, we'd still be hunter gatherers.

[Recon]

i wouldent trust jesus to fix my bed...look the earth is jus a food and harvest planet for aliens....its jus a body harvest...people die everyday...the aliens fabricatedthe earth so we will have something to live for...think about it..we live we die..live the same life over again...


Hahahahaha... Sorry, but you need to check your life priorities.

[cds_dogg665544]

dude i am fucked this time im so dpressed its sunday 7:30 am why the fuck am i up i cant sleep.Last nite sucked i used ink that wasnt opaqe at all and when i did a tag ink splashed on my best sweater i ever had thats the second time inks got on something valuble of mine the first was my good volcom hat but any way im thinking about just quitting graffiti for a while and then just using paint now i have nothing to look forword to no more,my ipod is broken cant listen to music to feel better.. oh and i did this excuse for the ink on my sweater i put mud and shit all over where the ink is and cut the side of my hand so it would look like i fell shittiest nite ever and i threw my marker in the oceion.. i cried my self to sleep last nite i dont know what im gonna do to make my self feel better ive been depressed since late grade 7 im in grade 8 now,my deprression kinda went on and off threw all that time and the last 2 weeks. I asked a girl out the other day ago i thought she liked me shes my friend by the way anyway she said no but that aint really bringing me down she cuts herself she said she doesnt no more she goes to the counsiling office like twice everyday im thinking about going to consiling now but im scared shes gonna think im going there cus im sad about her saying no. she actually didnt say no to my face it was to hard for her to do she got my friend to. Last nite when i was crying myself to sleep i could hear my sister going to my brother rays room and shes like whats the matter and he yells go away and i hear her say to my auntie that hes crying. when i talk to my other brother and he asks me why im not doing martial arts like him and my sister i tell him i suck at everything and ill just end up quitting cus i know that will happen. And then he tells well if you dont like anything then why dont you just go be emo,i think that he might think im turning emo cus i was talking about to him if i was emo when i told him and my sister that the chick asked out,was emo and i was saying what if i wore tight pants and hes like oh this kids going emo on us ive been thinking about being emo but im to cool for that. i tried cutting myself a month ago but didnt have anything sharp at the time. i qiut weed when i got back into graffiti,ive been having evil thoughts of me lately of doing crack and stuff i hope i dont get into drugs and shit. Do you guy think i should just go to counsiling.?? will it even help??

[Siner]

dude i am fucked this time im so dpressed its sunday 7:30 am why the fuck am i up i cant sleep.Last nite sucked i used ink that wasnt opaqe at all and when i did a tag ink splashed on my best sweater i ever had thats the second time inks got on something valuble of mine the first was my good volcom hat but any way im thinking about just quitting graffiti for a while and then just using paint now i have nothing to look forword to no more,my ipod is broken cant listen to music to feel better.. oh and i did this excuse for the ink on my sweater i put mud and shit all over where the ink is and cut the side of my hand so it would look like i fell shittiest nite ever and i threw my marker in the oceion.. i cried my self to sleep last nite i dont know what im gonna do to make my self feel better ive been depressed since late grade 7 im in grade 8 now,my deprression kinda went on and off threw all that time and the last 2 weeks. I asked a girl out the other day ago i thought she liked me shes my friend by the way anyway she said no but that aint really bringing me down she cuts herself she said she doesnt no more she goes to the counsiling office like twice everyday im thinking about going to consiling now but im scared shes gonna think im going there cus im sad about her saying no. she actually didnt say no to my face it was to hard for her to do she got my friend to. Last nite when i was crying myself to sleep i could hear my sister going to my brother rays room and shes like whats the matter and he yells go away and i hear her say to my auntie that hes crying. when i talk to my other brother and he asks me why im not doing martial arts like him and my sister i tell him i suck at everything and ill just end up quitting cus i know that will happen. And then he tells well if you dont like anything then why dont you just go be emo,i think that he might think im turning emo cus i was talking about to him if i was emo when i told him and my sister that the chick asked out,was emo and i was saying what if i wore tight pants and hes like oh this kids going emo on us ive been thinking about being emo but im to cool for that. i tried cutting myself a month ago but didnt have anything sharp at the time. i qiut weed when i got back into graffiti,ive been having evil thoughts of me lately of doing crack and stuff i hope i dont get into drugs and shit. Do you guy think i should just go to counsiling.?? will it even help??
yes, go to councillin', even if it doesn't help immediatly, just tellin' someone about how you feel will feel good, and hopefully a counceler can give you some stratagies to try to cope with the way you feel. And as far as the drugs go, I find it's just best to stay away from it, cause in the end it will just make you more depressed, and possibly suicidal and addicted. good luck man, and just keep goin', it's hard to see that lkife is worthwhile right now, but eventually it will be, no matter how hard it is to see right now, feel free to pm me or anythin'.

[Noddles912300]

CDS- if your in 8th grade you havent even gone through middle school life yet. I think you should take a bit time off from graffitti. It seems to be making you depressed when something goes wrong. Instead maybe take the time to further art other than graffitti (such as characters, etc)
And dont forget you in 8th grade, you havent lived long enough to realize how life works. Theres the good and the bad. And as Siner said go talk to a counciler or someone you trust about it.

[tense]

Believing everything in that propoganda is like taking everything on wikipedia literally.

You need some real knowledge. Read Ishmael and A short history of progress

Regardless of "gods" or "higher beings" Everything on the earth is interconnected, and everything sets off a reaction. We're animals, and hadn't it been for stumbling across the agricultural revolution and the domestication of plants and animals, we'd still be hunter gatherers.

so true, dunno if thats actually a good thing though:(

[The_NaMEz_BaNKz]

^^^once again...
your post idealy has nothing to do with the topic... its just another rant.
this thread was made for help/advice. all you did was ramble about god and heaven.
suicide is not always selfish... ever read about seppuku or hara-kiri?

im pretty sure someone on the verge of ending it all has come to terms that they are going to cease to exist/ go to hell/ whatever afterlife you believe in.

sorry if i offend you. but you also sound like an idoit.


yo son..you need to shut the fuck up...acting like you mr sheriff n shit

[ekimboi1]

umm i was on topic lil kid xylene, i was saying that suicide is selfish as shit beacuse you just end ur life and you dont think about anyone else but urslef, you dont think about what your family and friends have to deal with!this thread is for ppl who are thinking about killing themsleves so maybe that gives them something to think about!

[Mr Tasty]

fuck i woke up in the morning in the middle of a roundabout...i only rmeember standing outside a shop begging for beer money....i dont even know were the fuck i was...or how i got home....really gota stop drinking

[The_NaMEz_BaNKz]

i need help not suicide but...graff is taking over my life..idk...i dont wanna stop..but i wanna cut back on it ..idk i need help..its mostly what i think of in school...like random day dreams about chases that could happen ...crazy spots that no one could ever hit..idk

im making ink way too much spending money on this shit..i rack most of my stuff but thats bad too..im stealing way too much..ive gotten to the point where if we need some shampoo or forks or sumthin w.e ill steal it even tho i have the money to buy it...

its like a disease or sumthin and its slowly taking over..i go on this fuckin site everyday...
when i see shit on t.v. and theres people outside..im lookin the background for tags n shit lol...its crazy man....

any ideas?

[Noddles912300]

same here, im taking stuff i dont need. ive pissed off all of my friends over graffitti. my grades are falling cause all i can think about is graff and art. I lost interest in every thing i do. When i steal stuff i dont feel anything. I feel bored and tired but cant sleep.

[KID XYLENE]

umm i was on topic lil kid xylene, i was saying that suicide is selfish as shit beacuse you just end ur life and you dont think about anyone else but urslef, you dont think about what your family and friends have to deal with!this thread is for ppl who are thinking about killing themsleves so maybe that gives them something to think about!

when your about to snap you dont really think of the consequences of your actions... other than "hey.. this will all be over soon" my family and friends have abandoned me... i had to deal with that.. they can survive without me around.
last time i had a barrel up my nose i had so much shit on my mind... "what can i do to help myself" fuck family and fuck friends the only person that can help you is YOU. im pretty sure the point of offing yourself is so you dont have to think anymore... i want to break away from the sea of shit in my head... but theres other ways that are keepin me going for now...

everyone is selfish?
selfish |ˈselfi sh | adjective (of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure
its not really neccessary to state something that applies to everyone.... you know what i mean?

[KID XYLENE]

yo son..you need to shut the fuck up...acting like you mr sheriff n shit

youre a fucking moron... i find it very hard to take anything you say seriosly.

[Bummer Harris]

youre a fucking moron... i find it very hard to take anything you say seriosly.

Seconded.
The guys a spastic of the first water.

[Nicht hellig]

edit

[nero112]

were all capable of it and i think this thread should be modded more theres way too much shit in here n bankz if you wnna graff you have to eat ,breath,live,drink,piss and shit it fuck wanting to cut back n dont come in here going off topic....

my life is ok not the best mainly cos im on the verge of being sent to some milatary school or something and have lost most friends and my girl is now with my used to be best friend...

[SAID]

that sucks monkey nuts bro.
but theres plenty more out there.
keep your head up, and she'll come.

["Joker"]

I've thought, done, played out things, all in my head. I would've carried it out but i pusst out. Still to this day I have thoughs thoughts and don't know what to do. The first time I had the knife too my wrist and felt the cold stainless steel metal on my skin. I really need help. Most of my friends have turned there backs on me and stabbed me in the back as well. I have pretty bad depression that I can't get over and maybe never will. My dad does cocaine, alcohol, and others in front of me. Sometimes I wish he would die more than anything. I'm not efing emo. And never plan to be. I beat emos up sooo.... My parents use't to get drunk in front of me and I would end up having to clean up after them (vomit, bottles, and others). I know go to a therapist and my moms getting better I suppose. My parents are now divorced and dating again. I don't see my father anymore and live with my mom. I'm a atheist and she's a catholic.
Now I just do herbal drugs to relax.
My life in a nut shell
I have no idea what to do.

[SAID]

dude man.
ever been to counceling ?
if not,
maybe go and get checked out.
i knew a girl just like you,
she went to a doctor and they claimed her depressive and they offered help and some pills.
if not,
get the stresss off your chest and go bomb.

["Joker"]

dude man.
ever been to counceling ?
if not,
maybe go and get checked out.
i knew a girl just like you,
she went to a doctor and they claimed her depressive and they offered help and some pills.
if not,
get the stresss off your chest and go bomb.
Never ever went too counseling. I barely know what it is. Bombing helps but its mostly just short term help so to speak.
When my buddy went too counseling he came back all bugged out and everything,....different very different in a bad way.

[SAID]

dude man, honestly you should go check it out.
it helped me out a fuckloaaaaaaad.
like not with suicide, i just couldnt bare the pressure and stress.
but bro,
go check it out,
they help you out so fucken much.

["Joker"]

^^^^^^
Like what do they do. I'm not really the type of person to pop pills just to kick back. You think I could get medical cannabis? I'm not a pothead or anything just saying.

[SAID]

hmmm.
maybe.
i dont think so though, just some pills to regulate your emotions.
all councelling really is,
is you go and just get your thoughts out.
someone to talk to and who just absorbs it.
they could also tell you their opinion and try and help you out.

[StrongC_025]

OK 1 ur all fucking losers like just posting in this thread, makes you wanna kill urself u guys get made fun of . dont fit in in life, your parents are druggies, no1 likes u killurself plz do fucking faggots who wud make a fucking thread about killin yourself u know ur not loved lmao....

[SAID]

you having the time to actually write that out proves that you have no life.
get the fuck out of here.

[Siner]

Get the fuck outta here strong c, and joker, ya, go to councelling. It might not help immediatly, but just gettin' your thoughts out there should help. And if you can try to go to the doctor, and get on anti-depressants, good luck man and don't give up.

[SAID]

siner said it.

[StrongC_025]

umm im really sad and tried killing my self number of times but some1 was there to save me.my dad died of overdose when i was 7 my mom died in a car accident and my brothers passed away from drug abuse and i have no1 to look up to i have no friends i got bullied when was i was little and still do in a junior year of highschool and have cut myself numerous times and right now im thinking about jumpingoff a building for a fun and quik ending to life so byee.. to every1 hope u guys live the life i wanted to but was impossible ...

[Siner]

umm im really sad and tried killing my self number of times but some1 was there to save me.my dad died of overdose when i was 7 my mom died in a car accident and my brothers passed away from drug abuse and i have no1 to look up to i have no friends i got bullied when was i was little and still do in a junior year of highschool and have cut myself numerous times and right now im thinking about jumpingoff a building for a fun and quik ending to life so byee.. to every1 hope u guys live the life i wanted to but was impossible ...
why do u post this, and before ur tellin' evryone in here to kill yourself. this is a serious topic, so quit fuckin' around please.

[Kaze]

old but whatever..

i fear the past you fear the present
i can predict the future and im not in it
my death is imminent six feet deep forever asleep

shits permenent, friends and family will learn from it,
as i enternally burn hoping its never your turn,

This is my suicide fill your eyes with tears
ill be in your heart for the everlasting years,

but i never meant it, so many things could of prevent it
you never got it in the mail but i sent it

i only had one life and i took it away from all of yours
snotty nosed kid corrupted since the age of 4

no father figure in my life but so much love in sight
i couldnt understand me i just left that to my family
someone was always there to guide me through it all

because reality is wrong and dreams are for real
just think of that when you close the casket and watch it seal

someone told me "suicide is killing the only person who can change it"
but im done with life i dont want to live rearranging shit.

sitting here in fear, depression in fifth gear
a whole new person when i look in the mirror
you ruined me whoever you were.

i cant believe suicide is on my fucking mind
this wouldnt be the first time, its my own crime im going
in but for time but whatever fuck it all
i just leave you all with this suicide letter.

treasure every moment from past to present
and learn all about lifes lesson..

[Siner]

Wow, I really like that.

Anyway, I've been dealing with this depression bullshit for like three years now, and i've gone to councellers, and i'm on anti-depressants, but it hasn't seemed to help much. My main preoblem now is just bein' lonely. I have no friends at school and feel like such an outcast. It got worse last friday when I asked this girl out that I really like, and found out she had a boyfriend. The worse part is that shes in my class and everyday I have to see her and knowin' that I can't have her just makes me want to die all the more on top of anything else. I mean, I can't stop thinkin' about her and I hate that she probaly doesn't even care or know how I feel. I just know a girlfriend would maybe really give me somethin' to live for. But I just am at such a loss. I'm gettin' really tired of havin' no one to help me with all this shit, or just to talk to. So I just really don't know what I'm gonna do anymore.

[SAID]

you in a crew ?

[LostYouth]

keep ya chin up' siner

[JackJill]

A crew won't necessarily solve your problems. Try this, but eating properly, exercising regularly and sleeping regularly as well will help...a LOT.

[SAID]

i know a crew wont completely help,
but i mean if he feels lonely,
he could just go hang with some locals.

[Siner]

Ya, I know some locals, but i'm really not into writin' that much lately, mostly cause I suck, so I'm just workin' on stencillin' and just scetchin' til' I hopefully get better. I just really wich I could find somethin' worth livin' for. Like at this point I'm not really suicidal cause I live in the hope of a better tomorrow. I have tried before, but my parents found me and took me to the hospital which definetly saved my life. I guess I'm glad I'm still alive, but I just still feel very hopeless and alone.

[SAID]

as i said before,
you might learn it the hard way,
but dude man, you gotta learn that you cant spend your life being down and all cause you only got one. And you gotta live your life knowing that we all end up at the same place and know that when you end up there, you wont regret shit.
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=49385275
listen to his
no mistakes
and mostly cop the song all about you.
makes me appreciate everything.
but yea, try and get passed over your sadness.
Makes life so much better.

[Siner]

Thanx Said, it's just so fuckin' hard to quit feelin' depressed cause I can't find anythin' to be happy about. I just need to meet some more people, I'm just so shy and have no self confidence. But at the point I'm at, I feel like my life can't get any worse, so I guess I have to try, and thing's should get better. Like I guess I know everyin' I have to do, it's just doin' it is the hardest part, and suggestions at findin' some friends or a girlfriend.

[MAST]

so last summer i posted in this thread talking about how everything was turning around for me cause i was really into this girl i was good friends with at the time. well today, on our 6 month anniversary, she ends it. she wants to be best friends, which we were before we went out. thing is i can't do that. i can't see her without kissing her and telling her how much i love her. and now i can't have a real conversation with her without breaking down. i already tried it today, and i couldn't do it. it is taking every part of me to not break down while typing this.

i don't want to do this. my life was SHIT before i met her. i was slowly SLOWLY starting to make it better and build it up right before i met her, and she sped up that process like crazy. now, this sets me way way way way back. she knocked down everything i've built up.

she does feel extremely guilty, and she feels bad that she can't even feel anything for me anymore. all she can do is "care". i still have to see her in between every class.



i can't do this. my mind's not lingering anywhere near suicide, because i decided long ago that it's not for me, but where my mind is right now is a place i wish never even existed.


and don't feed me the fact that so many people have been here before, because that's old info. i have friends that would gladly help me out, and for that i'm extremely thankful, so i'm gonna start talking to them soon enough.

[SAID]

Thanx Said, it's just so fuckin' hard to quit feelin' depressed cause I can't find anythin' to be happy about. I just need to meet some more people, I'm just so shy and have no self confidence. But at the point I'm at, I feel like my life can't get any worse, so I guess I have to try, and thing's should get better. Like I guess I know everyin' I have to do, it's just doin' it is the hardest part, and suggestions at findin' some friends or a girlfriend.
ailleee man, no problem.
but try and be more social,
i know you have no confidence but you'd be surprised at how people would react, people are real friendly these days man.

[garbage down tha way]

i feel you mast, i was/am in the same situation. after i lost my last girl, i couldnt even function. i hardly slept, haha and when i did id have dreams that we were still together. i cant say im over her, even now, but dude from a kid whos been trying to get back with the same girl for 8 months, i have to tell you, you're better off moving on. no matter how hard you try, you can't change how someone feels, and it sucks, but thats life. i wouldn't stick around for the ride because that shit gets rough fast. just paint chill spots, vibe to some music, it helped me alot.

[SAID]

dude man theres plenty other girls out there.
fuck her.
your better than that.
if she doesnt want you no more,
you have to accept it like garbage said, its reality man.
but when your completely gone, shes gonna see what she missed out on.

[Darkeist]

I think about it sometimes, like so much shit in my lief has happened, and i just pretend that it isnt that bad, and not think about it, then when i do think about it, it like fucking builds up inside you. then you just go the fuck insane. that happened to me once, i ended up going to a counceller for awhile. then i got better, now i feel shitty again. i have a good group of homies to chill with, and their cool and all, but i just dont feel happy too much, my life seems too boring. Its the same thing every day. And it gets old fast. Shit gets depressing sometimes.

[SAID]

word dude.
my councellor said the word thing to do is bottle shit up.
i cant help it.
i wanna make everyone happy, and i gotta realize that its never gonna happen.
so i bottle it up.
i explode once and a while.
it aint pretty.

[Siner]

ailleee man, no problem.
but try and be more social,
i know you have no confidence but you'd be surprised at how people would react, people are real friendly these days man.
Ya, your definetly right, it's just so hard to be confident when I feel like shit about myself. I just know havin' more friends, and/or a girlfriend would really make me feel better. My parents are really reconizing how I feel now too, last night they saw my mutilated wrist, and they were pretty concerned. They offer to help me, but really I'm the only one who can help myself, whether that is meetin' new people, or gettin' councellin', I just have to push myself I guess.

[Siner]

I think about it sometimes, like so much shit in my lief has happened, and i just pretend that it isnt that bad, and not think about it, then when i do think about it, it like fucking builds up inside you. then you just go the fuck insane. that happened to me once, i ended up going to a counceller for awhile. then i got better, now i feel shitty again. i have a good group of homies to chill with, and their cool and all, but i just dont feel happy too much, my life seems too boring. Its the same thing every day. And it gets old fast. Shit gets depressing sometimes.
If the coucellin' helped, then go back, it's worth it. And as far as havin' a good support group, it really helps, so keep up with those guys. If your bored like you mentioned, this is what I do, I tell myself, what can I do to better my life. It's better than sittin' there doin' nothing, sketch, find a new hobby, you'll feel happier if your occupied and find a sence of accomplishment. Just keep pressin' on man, it'll be worth it.

P.S. sorry about the double post

[MAST]

word thanks guys. i just talked to her for about an hour and cleared a lot of things up. she's had a boyfriend for the past 3 years (about 7 or 8 diff ones including me), but i was the second longest and most serious. we were talkin about what to do for prom in a couple months, and she told me that after this, she's not having another boyfriend for a while, so we're still probably gonna go together, but just no more relationship shit. we're still gonna chill and everything, just nothing physical :(


im in a better mood now, but i still feel like shit.


i guess i'll get a new girl if something happens, but for now i don't feel like going out and looking for one.






and Siner, honestly and truthfully, cutting is NOT the right way to get your feelings out. i know that after you've already started, it may feel like it really is the only thing you can do to at least feel a little better, but i can't stand seeing people hurt themselves like that. my..well...ex girlfriend used to cut before she knew me, and she finally got past it and started drawing, and because of me, started painting (canvases), and even though she's still got problems, she uses that as an outlet. i'm saying this from as one writer to another, cause even if i don't actually know you in person, i really do care, don't be doing that. if not for me, then quit it for yourself.

[The_NaMEz_BaNKz]

youre a fucking moron... i find it very hard to take anything you say seriosly.


lol you think im a moron...sucks for you dont it ...
lets see if you can take this seriously...FUCK YOU
if you dont like it simply put dont read it

[JackJill]

Siner, I remember when I used to cut. It felt soooo good. In the worst way. You really gotta think about it. Sometimes just meds isn't enough. You gotta want to be better.
I didn't for like 2 years. I hate that I enjoyed watching myself bleed until I passed out in my bed. Or that I popped enough pills to knock me out. Later on I realized that there really isn't anything more out there. School is school you use it to get a good joba nd make money. But it's really your life. So you can choose when you want to go to school. People may say things about where you're headed...but they're not going to end up where you are. I don't know if I'm making any sense. But it was an epiphany when it hit me. all the emotional problems that hit me...well...it just seems so trivial right now because you move on, you grow up and you learn. That's all there is to life. there's nothing special about it. Just doing what you want. It's just a game.

[MAST]

the way i see it, the points of life are to learn, love, make mistakes, be happy, and at least experience depression (because if you don't, you will never really understand the true weight of happiness)

in order to attain some of these things, you have to do a little work. and hey, that work will keep you occupied for the time being.

if you've already done all these things, then just try to 1 up what you did before.

[xDesTx]

Wow, I really like that.

Anyway, I've been dealing with this depression bullshit for like three years now, and i've gone to councellers, and i'm on anti-depressants, but it hasn't seemed to help much. My main preoblem now is just bein' lonely. I have no friends at school and feel like such an outcast. It got worse last friday when I asked this girl out that I really like, and found out she had a boyfriend. The worse part is that shes in my class and everyday I have to see her and knowin' that I can't have her just makes me want to die all the more on top of anything else. I mean, I can't stop thinkin' about her and I hate that she probaly doesn't even care or know how I feel. I just know a girlfriend would maybe really give me somethin' to live for. But I just am at such a loss. I'm gettin' really tired of havin' no one to help me with all this shit, or just to talk to. So I just really don't know what I'm gonna do anymore.


Hey Siner,

i just want to let you know something, you always have at least one person to turn to on this form, not matter who it is i can guarantee that you will feel at least a little better after talking to them. mate, if you need someone, just hit me up, because I'll always try to make you feel better, I'm trying to keep my head out for you and others on this forum because i don't want to see, the next big thing... go down over something little, or something that just. pushed you... you got to try get out and socialize thats the best way to find people who are interested in what you are, just a little "hello" goes a long way you know...

You know, you don't have to be the best to talk to other writers, most writers out my way would gladly accept you in and help you develop your style you know... just ask for help. and eventually you will get it from someone,

(if you want some stencil idea's or Tutorials just Private message me mate, i'll help you out =D)

Don't let life get you down,
When life gives you lemons.... Make Alcohol

Heh, well my brain hurts so, I'll catch ya on the flip side lol

If this doesn't make sense, well i tried lol

[Siner]

I think this is as good as councellin' for me, thanx for the help everyone. Like I've said before, I don't feel like my life can get much worse, so I just have to push myself to meet new people. It's just discouragin' like when I asked this girl out and to find out she has a boyfriend, and she's in my social class and act's like I never even showed a intrest in her. The worse part is I can't stop thinkin' about her, hopefully I can move on. I just want a girlfriend who can help me get through this, cause I know that lovin' someone would probaly help me at least like myself. My parents have offered to help me, and my best friend have offered to help me, but really I have to make the effort. It's hard when I want to get better, but don't give a fuck about myself. So hopefully my best friend can help me with girl's, again, thanx alot for the help everyone, it means alot to me cause I know alot of you guys have felt the pain I'm goin' through. And I haven't cut myself for a while and I know I won't again...

[SAID]

good job dude.
fuck cutting.
brings nothing bro.

[Darkeist]

Fuck, this isnt helping, at my dads i have this dog that i found and hes the most kick ass dog ever, but the other dogs we had didnt like him. so they attack him, and they fucking got him this time, they tore off part of his ear and fucking scratched him up good. so we have to give him away. and then the girl i like is just toying with me, she has a boyfriend but she still gives me hugs and stuff. But it makes me said i cant have her, as cheesy as that sounds. fuck everything

[SAID]

dude man.
pace yourself.
relax.
if it helps, toke up.
just dont do anything you'll regret.
think about every action you take.

[Darkeist]

Sorry, thanks for the help though, but i dont really know what ill regret until ive already done it usually. i dont think about half the shit i do. and i cant really help it, i just dont think things through. so everyones always yelling at me for fucking up

[Siner]

Sorry, thanks for the help though, but i dont really know what ill regret until ive already done it usually. i dont think about half the shit i do. and i cant really help it, i just dont think things through. so everyones always yelling at me for fucking up
Just take a chance, you can learn from your mistakes. As far as that girl goes, just quit hanging out with her, and maybe she'll see what she is missing.

[thesilentvandal]

your not on msn so il just tell it to you on here,

if you suicide, il kill myself, than kill you when im up there for the action you did

haha andthen kill myself

[SAID]

Sorry, thanks for the help though, but i dont really know what ill regret until ive already done it usually. i dont think about half the shit i do. and i cant really help it, i just dont think things through. so everyones always yelling at me for fucking up
i feel you man.
its fucken hard to think when emotions take over.

[Darkeist]

your not on msn so il just tell it to you on here,

if you suicide, il kill myself, than kill you when im up there for the action you did

haha andthen kill myself

woah, damn, that made me feel good. like someone cared. thanks i guess

[Man!cBCV]

ayo guys, i juss wanted to get on here and say that suicide is a very serious thing, and although alot of people say its just emo bullshit, i know forreal that it's not. alot of people including my own boys have tried to take their own lives, and thank god it hasnt worked. i myself tried to kill myself 2 months ago, i slit my wrists and ended up in the hospital for a week, it was scary as shit, but im glad im still here, and hopefully this helps some of you. And i know this isnt a drug forum, but i guess this kinda does have a bit to do with suicide, earlier this month i overdosed mad hard, i took 8 xanax, 8 larazapan, 1000mg of morphine, and i smoked a blunt, i dont remember much about that night, or the 2 nights following it, but when i woke up i was so grateful to be alive. I know depression is a fucked up thing and noone can really say anything to get you out of it, but just dont give up, it'll pass, and you wont always feel the way your feelin. its crazy but to deal with depression i usually just go out and bomb mad hard or blackbook a bit it something, just keep an open mind, keep ya' heads up.
safe.

[Siner]

ayo guys, i juss wanted to get on here and say that suicide is a very serious thing, and although alot of people say its just emo bullshit, i know forreal that it's not. alot of people including my own boys have tried to take their own lives, and thank god it hasnt worked. i myself tried to kill myself 2 months ago, i slit my wrists and ended up in the hospital for a week, it was scary as shit, but im glad im still here, and hopefully this helps some of you. And i know this isnt a drug forum, but i guess this kinda does have a bit to do with suicide, earlier this month i overdosed mad hard, i took 8 xanax, 8 larazapan, 1000mg of morphine, and i smoked a blunt, i dont remember much about that night, or the 2 nights following it, but when i woke up i was so grateful to be alive. I know depression is a fucked up thing and noone can really say anything to get you out of it, but just dont give up, it'll pass, and you wont always feel the way your feelin. its crazy but to deal with depression i usually just go out and bomb mad hard or blackbook a bit it something, just keep an open mind, keep ya' heads up.
safe.
I have to agree with you. When I tried to kill myself by O.D.ing on a whole bunch of meds, I would of died if my parents didn't find me and take me to the hospital, so I'm actully glad that I didn't die. Even though I still hate my life, I've learned someday, I will be happy. No matter how hard it is too see, there's plenty of things to live for. Just keep yourself busy and find a hobby, it gives you less time to be depressed.

[drugaddict]

I actually attempted 16 days ago when i got arrested. So much stress happening at the time, me and my moms were finally going to move out to a nice place, and i had to get arrested.
5 days ago, while in vancouver, got arrested again. Really have no idea where to turn.
3 court cases, i can't do jail.
I don't want to do it because i know how much it would hurt my mom, but fuck, comes across my mind every minute.

[sketch3]

why not stop comiting crimes?
seems like the logical choice

[drugaddict]

When i get in really good moods i drink, allot, alone.
This happened every time.
That's the first step, quit that.

[knewsince.]

I personally have clinical depression passed down from my mom.
It often pushes me to suicide or deep deep depression where I get really hostile.
Both options suck.
I've attempted suicide alot.
But it was mainly from the people around me. So now I'm just trying to ignore them and live my life.

[Man!cBCV]

I have to agree with you. When I tried to kill myself by O.D.ing on a whole bunch of meds, I would of died if my parents didn't find me and take me to the hospital, so I'm actully glad that I didn't die. Even though I still hate my life, I've learned someday, I will be happy. No matter how hard it is too see, there's plenty of things to live for. Just keep yourself busy and find a hobby, it gives you less time to be depressed.

yeah, thank god my mom and step dad found me, or else i would have been dead, they say if i fell asleep my heart woulda stopped and i just wouldnt have woke up, and forreal, everyone will find happiness eventually, and if you needa find a hobby to do so, then go for it. lol like graff :D

[cds_dogg665544]

finally went to counsilling today i was in foods at school and i was really depressed and i kept thinking about going to counsiling and then eventually i lost control and started to cry in class and went to counsilling it helped alot i tld how i do graffiti to express my self and stuff yah im felling so good right now im gonna watch Quility of Life tonight its friday friday kicks asss

edit: im typing really fast

[Siner]

finally went to counsilling today i was in foods at school and i was really depressed and i kept thinking about going to counsiling and then eventually i lost control and started to cry in class and went to counsilling it helped alot i tld how i do graffiti to express my self and stuff yah im felling so good right now im gonna watch Quility of Life tonight its friday friday kicks asss

edit: im typing really fast
Good job, I'm glad you feel better. Keep up the good work.

[sketch3]

finally went to counsilling today i was in foods at school and i was really depressed and i kept thinking about going to counsiling and then eventually i lost control and started to cry in class and went to counsilling it helped alot i tld how i do graffiti to express my self and stuff yah im felling so good right now im gonna watch Quility of Life tonight its friday friday kicks asss

edit: im typing really fast

pussy... feelingas are for fags
17 kids just comited suicide in the same tiny town

[Siner]

Get the fuck outta here sketch3, your a fuckin' idiot. I guess your to much of a pussy to even discuss feeling's u dumb bitch face.

[sketch3]

u know ur right,, maybe all this time iv just been bottling up my problems and taking it out on kids over the net. i just feel insecure because i never achievied as well in school as my brother. and have built this hard ass exterior everscince my mum kicked me out the house


or it could be im a dick, yea i think thats it im just an asshole
ingnorence ftw111

[Siner]

u know ur right,, maybe all this time iv just been bottling up my problems and taking it out on kids over the net. i just feel insecure because i never achievied as well in school as my brother. and have built this hard ass exterior everscince my mum kicked me out the house


or it could be im a dick, yea i think thats it im just an asshole
ingnorence ftw111
Well, if you actully serious, feel free to talk about any problems in here, but if your jokin', get the fuck outta here.

[sketch3]

im going im going.

[Siner]

im going im going.
I'm not tellin' u to leave unless your gonna be a dick. If you have a problem we'd be willin' to help you.

[MAST]

so i was watching comedy central presents today, and sketch came on, and i was like waahh?



get out of here.

[cds_dogg665544]

i watched Qiulity of Life it seemed very short to me all i could fell was depression when i was watching it. it didnt seem like much happened in the movie

[anekilishous]

17 kids just comited suicide in the same tiny town

yeah thats pretty fucked up
silly people
some kind of bebo cult..?

[LostYouth]

hip hop really helps me out a lot
no joke like thats where i get a lot of my sanctuary
writing down your thoughts help to!
life is a bitch, and its never fair, or at least how i feel

[SAID]

word dude.
lifes a bitch.
sugarcoat it all you want.
it is.
its testing you, its pushing you to your limits.
i just live life like its a boardgame.
everyone has to stop playing one day.
ive also been living by the moto,
"coulda been worse."
it fits every situation possible.

[MAST]

ive also been living by the moto,
"coulda been worse."
it fits every situation possible.

i try to live by that all the time, and it does fit, but it just doesn't help at all.

when i'm depressed, i don't care about how other people feel. it's insanely selfish, and i wish i could help it, but i can't. i don't have control over it. and because of that, i sometimes hurt people's feelings, which then makes me feel so much worse.

so i just try to push it all to the back of my mind when im with other people, or when im doing a lot of things. it's not healthy, but i don't give a fuck. it's the only thing that's seemed to help.

this has been the worst week of my life so far. it's just been too much for me too handle. i cried myself to sleep half the week, and i've just cried every single night. and it's not all because of the girl. that's the main reason i did, but it's not all. just so much shit has happened. i just want to get on and move past everything, but i know i never completely will. i hate that i sound like a major pussy but i dont really care.









FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

[Brian Peppers]

This is a serious question... When you get arrested when you're in highschool/ college and get charged with a felony charge, are you out?

If so.. if i'm middle of getting arrested and i start slitting my wrists... if i die, cool beans... but if i actually live, do you think i can get off on insanity?

[IlikePie]

Don't do it. When I was in jail last time, they noticed my cuts and I got put on suicide watch. Near impossible to sleep 'cuz the staff has to check up on you every 15 - 30 minutes. If you're in middle school, the DA will most likely drop your charges down. But DO NOT cut yourself.

[xDesTx]

Alright guys my turn.

Just in the past hour or so, this girl i know and like just got with one of my best friends, i knew he liked her but i didn't believe (or want to believe) that she likes him back and at the fair a couple days ago (Friday) i was drunk and i noticed that he liked her, but i ignored it and kept messing around having fun, i feel like she kinda toyed with me since they got together, after the fair i was walking her home, and we Hooked up a little before we got to her house. which makes me feel REALLY sad,

I'm contemplating Cutting Myself, i know the say "Theres other fish in the sea" but i cant help how i feel

i really want to just get up and leave or lay down and die...

Someone PLEASE help me

-Dest (aka) Sick Oner

[IlikePie]

Cutting over a girl isn't a good idea. I have scars that won't ever fade away 'cuz of my ex. It's a nasty habit that I still work with, and it sucks when other people see them, 'cuz they make it feel like I can't have normal conversation with them anymore. Don't cut it might make shit feel better now, but you look at it a few days later when you have a level head and you feel stupid as fuck.

[IlikePie]

^^^Best advice you can get really, good luck.

[xDesTx]

Thanks for the advice guys...

[KID XYLENE]

no girl is worth cutting your self over... ever.
theyre all whores.

[cds_dogg665544]

i try to live by that all the time, and it does fit, but it just doesn't help at all.

when i'm depressed, i don't care about how other people feel. it's insanely selfish, and i wish i could help it, but i can't. i don't have control over it. and because of that, i sometimes hurt people's feelings, which then makes me feel so much worse.

so i just try to push it all to the back of my mind when im with other people, or when im doing a lot of things. it's not healthy, but i don't give a fuck. it's the only thing that's seemed to help.

this has been the worst week of my life so far. it's just been too much for me too handle. i cried myself to sleep half the week, and i've just cried every single night. and it's not all because of the girl. that's the main reason i did, but it's not all. just so much shit has happened. i just want to get on and move past everything, but i know i never completely will. i hate that i sound like a major pussy but i dont really care.









FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

im alomost just like you this weekend has been the worst ive never been so depressed i went to counsiling shit doesnt really help. Except that im gonna join snowboarding cus theres a snowboarding club for first nations/natives that the counsiler told me about. I havent done graffiti in a long time now im gonna practice on ply wood i asked my mom if i could use the wood in the back yard. I finally told my mom why i do graffiti to express myself and i showed her a documentary but now i think she hates graffiti even more she just doesnt want me to go to jail. but she wants me to not illigally do it at all. And i think when i finnaly get alright at painting shes not gonna let me go out past 9pm and trie to take my paint away. And if this did happen and i didnt listen she would get my big brother over and hed push me and take my paint. I feel like im never gonna do graffti again right now. How am i gonna live if the one thing i love so much i cant do. this fucking sucks suicide is always on my mind now. Maybe i should just fucken kill myself or run away

:(:(

[SAID]

dudeeee.
no.
dont run or kill yourself.
your better than that.
if you really wanna paint,
hide a stash outside or something.
whatever takes your anger out.
listen to music.
it helps.
allot.

[IlikePie]

Just paint anyways. If you're thinking about suicide, you shouldn't be worried about getting in some home trouble for graff..... ehh, I worded that wrong, but yeah, I'm tired.... Don't kill yourself, and don't run away.

[cds_dogg665544]

Just paint anyways. If you're thinking about suicide, you shouldn't be worried about getting in some home trouble for graff..... ehh, I worded that wrong, but yeah, I'm tired.... Don't kill yourself, and don't run away.

so your saying maybe get my head strait first before i start painting

[IlikePie]

What I'm saying is dying is easy, living is a challenge. And if you're pissed off, go find a nice chill spot and just destroy it, it's very therapeutic.

[SAID]

yeaaaa.
it takes you to a better place.

[Miss Bionix]

ok usually im the first person to tell someone whos in emotional pain to shoot themselves but i guess this time i wont considering the circumstances that resulted in this thread being created....

when someone kills themselves its usually cause they see no hope for a better future or there is something seriously wrong with the individual that at many times gets over looked, because of a fake well being that is portrayed in the attempt to redirect any sort of acknowledgment that may bestowed on to them. After years of observing forum behavior ive noticed that some of the same individuals who will mock and tease someone for expressing to kill themselves also have emotional baggage they seize to deal with. They find the weaker ones to pick on this behavior never changes and for some reason voicing how u feel is a weakness in the graff community. its ridiculous, because graffiti should be a beautiful thing. im sure we all know hiding imperfections with what we think is beautiful is part of the craft. so why is it u will cover something so ugly with something so beautiful then go back and make it ugly again. we are all guilty of having and wanting what we cant have and as artist we are never satisfied with things just the way they are. systems need to be changed, blank needs to be filled, the world is ours and no one else's, but ur living in a fantasy that u created. u live in a graff community u carve out . all thoughts manifest into reality so if we want to die we die........ and if we want graffiti to flourish we do so within ourselves before its ever implicated on a wall. i guess what im trying to say is if we want change we can make that happen, but as long as theres inconsiderate assholes going around telling people to kill themselves or we overlook the signs that lead the way to someone in distress this culture we have created as a whole will exist with many more deaths to come............

[MAST]

Alright guys my turn.

Just in the past hour or so, this girl i know and like just got with one of my best friends, i knew he liked her but i didn't believe (or want to believe) that she likes him back and at the fair a couple days ago (Friday) i was drunk and i noticed that he liked her, but i ignored it and kept messing around having fun, i feel like she kinda toyed with me since they got together, after the fair i was walking her home, and we Hooked up a little before we got to her house. which makes me feel REALLY sad,

I'm contemplating Cutting Myself, i know the say "Theres other fish in the sea" but i cant help how i feel

i really want to just get up and leave or lay down and die...

Someone PLEASE help me

-Dest (aka) Sick Oner

man, i know what you're going through. i'm in the same boat. relax, take a deep, deep breath, and look your life over. realize how little this situation is compared to something so big as your life, and realize that whatever amount of your life has gone by, at least 2 or 3 more of those will go by unless some accident happens. you are bigger than any of this will ever be, and trust me, you will move past this. do whatever you can to help you out. listen to something that makes your feelings on the situation flip around, and maybe work out or something. that's what i've been doing, and it help so much. this can be really shitty, but you gotta learn to take it and just turn the other cheek, cause you can't get revenge on life .



im alomost just like you this weekend has been the worst ive never been so depressed i went to counsiling shit doesnt really help. Except that im gonna join snowboarding cus theres a snowboarding club for first nations/natives that the counsiler told me about. I havent done graffiti in a long time now im gonna practice on ply wood i asked my mom if i could use the wood in the back yard. I finally told my mom why i do graffiti to express myself and i showed her a documentary but now i think she hates graffiti even more she just doesnt want me to go to jail. but she wants me to not illigally do it at all. And i think when i finnaly get alright at painting shes not gonna let me go out past 9pm and trie to take my paint away. And if this did happen and i didnt listen she would get my big brother over and hed push me and take my paint. I feel like im never gonna do graffti again right now. How am i gonna live if the one thing i love so much i cant do. this fucking sucks suicide is always on my mind now. Maybe i should just fucken kill myself or run away

:(:(


no. neither of those options are for you. take a lot of the advice i gave up there ^^, and use it as your own. i storngly suggest working out and lifting weights or something along those lines. it lets out steam, builds you into a better person physically, and it tires you out, so you have a little less time to think everything else over. or, get into music or sports like snowboarding. that's actually a really good idea, and if i were you, i would stick to it. and as for graffiti, you could also use markers or stickers or something that you can hide on yourself easily. and you can sketch a lot. or paint canvases. that could, in turn, make you money.



there's so many other options, for both of you, and i don't want to see you guys go down with the countless nameless people who lose their reason, life, and dignity to something much smaller than them.

[cds_dogg665544]

man, i know what you're going through. i'm in the same boat. relax, take a deep, deep breath, and look your life over. realize how little this situation is compared to something so big as your life, and realize that whatever amount of your life has gone by, at least 2 or 3 more of those will go by unless some accident happens. you are bigger than any of this will ever be, and trust me, you will move past this. do whatever you can to help you out. listen to something that makes your feelings on the situation flip around, and maybe work out or something. that's what i've been doing, and it help so much. this can be really shitty, but you gotta learn to take it and just turn the other cheek, cause you can't get revenge on life .





no. neither of those options are for you. take a lot of the advice i gave up there ^^, and use it as your own. i storngly suggest working out and lifting weights or something along those lines. it lets out steam, builds you into a better person physically, and it tires you out, so you have a little less time to think everything else over. or, get into music or sports like snowboarding. that's actually a really good idea, and if i were you, i would stick to it. and as for graffiti, you could also use markers or stickers or something that you can hide on yourself easily. and you can sketch a lot. or paint canvases. that could, in turn, make you money.



there's so many other options, for both of you, and i don't want to see you guys go down with the countless nameless people who lose their reason, life, and dignity to something much smaller than them.

i stopped working out cus im tired all the time now i cant do that i dont have markers and cant find decent stuff for markers i cant even find out where to get paint markers i dont use sharpie mags cus they fade

i made pen ink but it took 2 months and didnt turn out great and got on my hat and good sweater i cant find good bucket paint for mops/kiwis so ive pretty much gave up on markers now.

PS ill start working out again ill have energy drinks when im tired lol

[Siner]

i stopped working out cus im tired all the time now i cant do that i dont have markers and cant find decent stuff for markers i cant even find out where to get paint markers i dont use sharpie mags cus they fade

i made pen ink but it took 2 months and didnt turn out great and got on my hat and good sweater i cant find good bucket paint for mops/kiwis so ive pretty much gave up on markers now.

PS ill start working out again ill have energy drinks when im tired lol
If you have an art store or Michaels in your town, just go there and get some markers, P.M. meif you need more specifics. Keep yourself busy, and don't give up.

[cds_dogg665544]

[QUOTE=Siner;1019964]If you have an art store or Michaels in your town, just go there and get some markers, P.M. meif you need more specifics. Keep yourself busy, and don't give up.[/QUOTE

When i was at canadain tire i saw a arts and crafts section ting ill check there i live in canada i dont think there is micheals in canada but i know there isnt one where i am i live in a small place my brothers say thers a art store by the skate shop but i can never find it maybe there just dont know what they talking about.

my canadina tire has oil based paint now but they goota fill a bucket for me i havent got the stuff yet im gonna get spray paint for now so i can practice cus ive never painted in the streets and barely have practiced

last weekend i finally got pretty good at drawing throw ups:rolleyes:
i dont think i wanna use a kiwi cus there really thick but ill find something

[Siner]

[quote=Siner;1019964]If you have an art store or Michaels in your town, just go there and get some markers, P.M. meif you need more specifics. Keep yourself busy, and don't give up.[/QUOTE

When i was at canadain tire i saw a arts and crafts section ting ill check there i live in canada i dont think there is micheals in canada but i know there isnt one where i am i live in a small place my brothers say thers a art store by the skate shop but i can never find it maybe there just dont know what they talking about.

my canadina tire has oil based paint now but they goota fill a bucket for me i havent got the stuff yet im gonna get spray paint for now so i can practice cus ive never painted in the streets and barely have practiced

last weekend i finally got pretty good at drawing throw ups:rolleyes:
i dont think i wanna use a kiwi cus there really thick but ill find something
Well, I live in Canada too, and there is Michaels in my city. But anyway, lets try to keep this on topic people

Ok. Today has to be one of the worst day's I've had for a while, at school, I couldn't stop thinkin' about how much I wanted to kill myself. Like with a plan and everythin'. Like my parents are tryin' to help me with this shit, but it's so hard to explain to them and councellors and stuff. I just don't know what to do anymore, as I'm typin' this, I feel so low. I am so sick of feelin' so alone in this world. I truly don't know what to do anymore. No one seems to understand how bad depression and bein' lonely is makin' me feel.

[cds_dogg665544]

[quote=cds_dogg665544;1020745]
Well, I live in Canada too, and there is Michaels in my city. But anyway, lets try to keep this on topic people

Ok. Today has to be one of the worst day's I've had for a while, at school, I couldn't stop thinkin' about how much I wanted to kill myself. Like with a plan and everythin'. Like my parents are tryin' to help me with this shit, but it's so hard to explain to them and councellors and stuff. I just don't know what to do anymore, as I'm typin' this, I feel so low. I am so sick of feelin' so alone in this world. I truly don't know what to do anymore. No one seems to understand how bad depression and bein' lonely is makin' me feel.

I dont even want my family to know about my depression i dont know why im 13 and i hate talking to my om and the rest of my family i might be able to hang with a friend this weekend, that ive never hung out with outside of school just chill with a friend and listen to some beats with them.i fell so much btter when i talk to a friend i only have 2 friends here now they all moved away.

I hate it when im depressed at school wich im depressed every day at school it sucks but atleast you can go to the counsilling office today i wasnt all that depressed i was doing pretty good.but when i am at school all i can think about is pretty much just suicide

[snozzberries]

yo man just drawwww fuck highschool and all school but theres nothing worth killing yourself over, once the shits done you can get on your way and go do some real living, dont kill yourself man everyone needs to chill with that shit and relaxxxxx, and if you are really really depressed get some help for real, and actually listen to counselors and all them, mad people get saved by them so its not all bulshit, i know from experience.

[cds_dogg665544]

My friend came from powell river today i was so excited to see him i feel so much better. He bought me some candy and stuff i said ide be alright with out it but he bought me some candy and gum hes really pro at racking now i got him into graff a while back hes still really toy but hes improving,hopefully he wont end up going to summer school so him and me can bomb, but the thing that sucks is he wont be here on the weekend.

[Siner]

My friend came from powell river today i was so excited to see him i feel so much better. He bought me some candy and stuff i said ide be alright with out it but he bought me some candy and gum hes really pro at racking now i got him into graff a while back hes still really toy but hes improving,hopefully he wont end up going to summer school so him and me can bomb, but the thing that sucks is he wont be here on the weekend.
Well, Thats good. Havin' friends to hang with will really make you feel better. I just wish I could meet some new people, I'm just to shy to talk to anyone at school. But also no one really talks to me at school, so I kinda feel like an outcast. If anyone has any suggestions about meeting new peope or just talkin' to new people it would be much appreciated. Cause I know I wouldn't be so depressed if I had some more people to hang out with and/or a girlfriend.

[KID XYLENE]

what are you guys like 13?
im not trying to be an ass... but you sound like little girls.

this is a thread made for people with real problems....
altho it doesnt seem like many people take it seriosly by looking at this thread... some people pm. and share advice that really does help people.

stop your baby banterings
or at least keep this shit of the thread

[Siner]

what are you guys like 13?
im not trying to be an ass... but you sound like little girls.

this is a thread made for people with real problems....
altho it doesnt seem like many people take it seriosly by looking at this thread... some people pm. and share advice that really does help people.

stop your baby banterings
or at least keep this shit of the thread
Sewriously, Fuck Off. I'm not 13, and I do have a real problem, it's called depression. This thread is for helpin' people with problems, or askin' for help with your problems. So get outta here if you can't help.

[IlikePie]

I gotta side with Kid Xylene. I think you guys do have some problems, but you guys have those that come with just being alive. You guys have self diagnosed depression, nothing clinically diagnosed. I myself am clinically diagnosed with depression and anxiety. You guys say it like it's something that just comes and goes day by day. It's something that stays with you for years and years, perhaps your whole life. You guys are getting all angsty over girls and your parents, that's something that happens to everyone at some point in their lives, get over it and move on. No need to try and draw attention to yourselves.

[Slushi]

Be a man.

And thats all I have to say about that.

[MAST]

no offense, but this isn't the "people with clinically diagnosed depression" thread either. this thread is for people with all kinds of problems, and for them to find help with their problems. i will admit, i don't have an insanely fucked up problem or anything, but for me, this is really the only place i can actually vent to somebody and get responses to help me feel better.

people have killed themselves over little shit before, and it is really meaningless to say that they're dumb. i'm not saying i would, i'm just saying that everybody's different, and not everybody is familiar with the lows other people are familiar with.

i'm not trying to disrespect you or anything, cause i know chronic depression is a real problem and it's a lot bigger than some of the other problems people on here have, but i'm sticking up for them too, cause some people just aren't as strong and may not know how to deal with everything.

[IlikePie]

Yeah, I get you, but the majority of the recent people who've posted here need to learn how to figure shit out for themselves, because what happens when some real shit happens, and they don't have bombing science?

[LostYouth]

its true, this site usually does cheer me up

[steegz]

I tried to kill myself a couple of times. Once I was about to fall asleep in the car while I was parked in the garage with the car running for about half an hour. My mom called right about then and the phone woke me up and she asked if I wanted her to bring me some dinner and I realized I couldnt do it. For all the reasons I was depressed and most of the time still am I couldnt put her through that. I have terrible anxiety and panic attacks multiple times a week that nearly knock me out everytime. I find myself living for other people most of the time and it sucks but in about 10 years when Im 30 and married I'll look back on this shit and be thankful for the people around me. Im alive in little bursts, when Im bombing, painting or writing, and when Im with a certain lady friend who brings me back to reality and helps keep my feet on the ground. I feel terrible reading this thread, and even though I dont post here often I read these boards daily and it's shit reading some of these kids posts who gotta be around 14 or 15 who tear themselves down and feel like they've got nothing to live for. I guess my advice is find the people who love you and through them learn to live for yourself and the things you love to do. Try to keep your feet on the ground but your head in the sky and learn to chill and relax, accept everything for nothing more then exactly what it is and you'll be alright.

[MessTonic]

^Nice words man, keep your head up.. Oh and your from plano thats cool because so am i..

[steegz]

^Nice words man, keep your head up.. Oh and your from plano thats cool because so am i..

right on man, we have to be like 2 of the 3 people living here who actually write or paint.

[MessTonic]

yeah man i dont live directly in plano because i moved, but right next to it and not a single person writes..

[goneroner]

hardly anyone writes in dallas, you should know that.

[Siner]

Ok, first of all. Everyone lately is actin' like the people in here don't have problems. I do have clinically diagnosed depression, and am on anti-deppresants, and have spent time in the physc ward at the hospital, and have attempted suicide. I know depression doesn't come and go, but there are times when it's better or worse. Anyway, I just wanted to clear that up for anyone who keeps bringin' this up.

[Miss Bionix]

i plan on moving to plano....

Siner: i feel u... ive gone through the same shyt thats the only reason why i posted...

[Siner]

i plan on moving to plano....

Siner: i feel u... ive gone through the same shyt thats the only reason why i posted...
Thanx, I'm not tryin' to make a big deal, it's just I want to help people in here with the same problems I have, and if anyone can help me with my problems, thats great too.

[steegz]

i plan on moving to plano....

Siner: i feel u... ive gone through the same shyt thats the only reason why i posted...

Plano's aight.

0 graff scene.

A litttttttle bit of street art but majority of it all is left over from last year when I was really into stencils and wheatpasting and got a bunch of kids into by accident.

People here are for the most part so snobby and into themselves it's not surprising the lack of appreciation for writing and shit.

Good place to raise a family though?

[weak0ner]

http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h269/rinseoutradio/untitled-1.jpg

[Miss Bionix]

Plano's aight.

0 graff scene.

A litttttttle bit of street art but majority of it all is left over from last year when I was really into stencils and wheatpasting and got a bunch of kids into by accident.

People here are for the most part so snobby and into themselves it's not surprising the lack of appreciation for writing and shit.

Good place to raise a family though?

yea i live in the area already plano seems like a nice place to just chill its the last sto on the rail line so thats why im looken into it.. i dont know about a family lol.......... not yet at least..

[IlikePie]

Shut the fuck up all of you and get back on topic, if you wanna chat go to Good Afternoon...

[-ShAmEE-]

dude hug him self in the woods, think i could of seen it happening, he made a scar tattoo all on his arm and cut his arm hard with a bread knife. didnt reali feel pain, just used it to carm him down, u kno when ur piss off u punch the wall. well he cut him self.

then it lead to hanging..

just think people do this...yet why.

[unreal180]

nice 1 for making this thread mate

[ESKiMO2]

I fucking hate almost everything about life. There are only 2 things that keep me alive. Music and art. I hate almost every person I meet. There's an exception for all you guys on here. I can't stand anything I'm going through.

[mas$]

i cant stand life today..its all become too much
my girlfriend made the last 2 months worth it, we wer so close, had so much fun and i love her
but she dumped me last night..i dont know if i can deal with life anymore its so shit
i spent the day at home today sleepin, cryin and jus trynna deny the fact that shes gone from my life..everything else in my life is crap she was the only thing that kept me goin, my mom and dad dont seem to care anymore they've wiped thier hands of me..i wish i had someone to hold me and tell me its ok
but its not
i dont know what to dome and her promised each other that we'd call each other if we felt really low, but i dunno if i can talk to her anymore..
i jus need to vent i guess

[Siner]

i cant stand life today..its all become too much
my girlfriend made the last 2 months worth it, we wer so close, had so much fun and i love her
but she dumped me last night..i dont know if i can deal with life anymore its so shit
i spent the day at home today sleepin, cryin and jus trynna deny the fact that shes gone from my life..everything else in my life is crap she was the only thing that kept me goin, my mom and dad dont seem to care anymore they've wiped thier hands of me..i wish i had someone to hold me and tell me its ok
but its not
i dont know what to dome and her promised each other that we'd call each other if we felt really low, but i dunno if i can talk to her anymore..
i jus need to vent i guess
Dude, you have to call her and tell her how you feel. Cause maybe she can help you if you feel so bad.

Anyway's, I really don't know what to do anymore, everythin' in my life is shit. Nothin' is goin' how I want it too right now. I think if there was an easy way I would die now. It's come to the point where I dream about suicide, it just seems like such a relief from this stupid life that somehow I continue to live. Like the only thing that keeps me goin' is hopin' that one day I will be happy. My main problem is just loneliness right now. I really want a girlfriends that can help me through this. I mean I have nothin' to live for anymore. How can I even feel better. I can barely type this, please someone help me?

[mas$]

apparently, when ur about to die from suicide, you realise that apart from the fact that youve jumped, thers nothing that cant be sorted out - so i wudnt advise it and ye the girlfriend helps, mine helped me when i was so far gone, she set me on track and everythin but shes gone now and im still better than i was
jus go round malls n stuff, wen u go in a coffee shop jus sit next to someone whos alone an talk, u never know
and ye i tried to talk to her, it didnt help i feel like thers a barrier between us

[PureSole]

Man I started writing in 05..when I joined this site. I wrote for about 6 months and broke my hand..then I stopped for about 6-7 months and began writing again. I think that was my testin period because I gave up in school, shit wasnt going right with girls, I gave up things I loved (writing and music, because I rap too), and I started dealing...Shit wasn't going right and I was fucking up..thought about suicide and I lost my cousin who was like 1/2 of me (he got in a wreck)...but I began drawing, focused in school, said fuck bitches, all that shit and It got better. Now I got into college (start in August), got a girl, everythings looking good.

Life is hard and I think what keeps drawing me back to bombing science is even though I never built relations (no homo) with any of you, everyone on here is a bit akward/a misfit or whatever. I can relate to the people on here, not just because I'm a writer but it seems most of have some kinda fucked up common ground

Like the guy I work with told me, "Why try to fit in when you're a standout?"

[IOU]

What i hate is when people like emos slit themselves for no reason.. Like they have a good life or stuff like that and they try to fit in to emo crews and start slittin... Hmmnm

[SAID]

or you know, fuck emos in general could work too.

[PureSole]

I hate emo emus
http://www.olegvolk.net/olegv/north/emu.jpg

[ESKiMO2]

Emo people fucking suck. They whine about them hating life to everyone and play dress up because they want attention. I bet everyone here has a much worse life than an emo fuck but doesn't whine about it.

[PureSole]

^si

[SAID]

thats true.
fuck em'.

[ForGiven]

so this is the fuck emos thread, huh. lol
I TOO FUCK EMOS.....IN THE ASS, HAHAHHAHAHAHAH

[tamorin]

sucide... what's the point..

[SAID]

Might be easy for you to say.
Not everyone has the same perspective on life man.
Thats why they put up this thread.
So we can help em out.

[PureSole]

Not be stupid or nothing cause I would hate to see someone kill themselves from this...but (philosophy moment)
there is no real point to life but to keep this shitty thing we call humanity advanceing and surviving..for no reason
yay life

[acereborn]

well if your going like that then nothing has a point

BUT: you might as well have the most fun for your life, like.. if you don't like school then quit and play video games all the time

etc.

[PureSole]

Nah man..its not that..I'm in school and I have fun and I'm focused...but I think thats why a lot of people need religion...because fear
I just come to accept that life is pointless and if theres a God I guess i'll find out one day..

[Brian Peppers]

if you want to kill yourself, try this...

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/1659/1204506265306dk8.gif

[IlikePie]

Take as many as you can with you, so they can all figure out it's all pointless too.... Chuhhh

You're living now to benefit the human race by pumping out babies to keep us on top.

[PureSole]

^hahahaha
word
Sociobiology shit living to benefit the race..eh it gives me a purpose but gimme my weed and paint and a pen/pad im happy

[SAID]

im generally happy in all man.
fuck life honestly, i make the best of it.
i try and let nothing get to me cause its not worth it.
feel me?

[PureSole]

^yeah me too..Im generally happy but man you know its hard some times
I feel you though..its not worth it I try to just chill

[SAID]

chyeaa.
i dont let these fucks get to me.
fuck em all.

[ForGiven]

i totally agree and i too have that outlook on life.
but wut do you say to the suicidal people who don't think like that. how do you help them out; after all, you said this is what this thread is for.

[SAID]

chyeaaa.
i always tell em like,
yo, your much better than that.
THINK ABOUT WHAT YOUR ABOUT TO DO.
think about everything your going to miss out on.
do whatever you can to get those fucken thoughts out of there.
smoke weed, shoot hoops, whatever you find your happiness through.

[ForGiven]

real dope, i got a friend who was once sucidal, im sure to share this wit him jus to show him that i aint the only one sayin that.

[SAID]

aiight man.
good to know im actually helping out.
this girl once was like.
i got the knife.
im doing it.
if theres anything to change my mind, you better fucken say it right now or regret it for the rest of your life.

[MAST]

on the subject of the purpose of life, you can think that the general purpose is to multiply and such, but everyone's really got their own real purpose. i feel that mine is to do what i do and get my word out and be known. that's (like everybody) my music, my art, my poetry, and just spreading good character.

i've realized that i've changed almost every single person i've hung out with a lot, just by having my own personality. even if it's just a small change, everybody's got it. after a while, we eventually share common actions, ideas, words, or ways of saying/wording shit that nobody around here uses. now i feel like after i'm gone, my personality will be carried on in other people, unbeknownst to them.

that's just my purpose in life.

[PureSole]

on the subject of the purpose of life, you can think that the general purpose is to multiply and such, but everyone's really got their own real purpose. i feel that mine is to do what i do and get my word out and be known. that's (like everybody) my music, my art, my poetry, and just spreading good character.

i've realized that i've changed almost every single person i've hung out with a lot, just by having my own personality. even if it's just a small change, everybody's got it. after a while, we eventually share common actions, ideas, words, or ways of saying/wording shit that nobody around here uses. now i feel like after i'm gone, my personality will be carried on in other people, unbeknownst to them.

that's just my purpose in life.

yo thats some real shit...
I feel similar. amongst my group of friends im the odd one and b4 they (and keep in mind i moved to the south about a year an half ago) were closed to me but now they all opened up and they tell me i've changed them...
thats my purpose in a way to learn and teach...we're all humans and gotta look out for each other

spread our message and our name...isn't that part of writing?

[MAST]

that's exactly what i was thinking. that whole idea is completely parallel to writing. it's the same shit, except writing is physical, and it's on a wall. that's one thing i love about it. you can paint a train or wall, and years after you die, it might still carry on your legacy. and you never know when you influence somebody else's style.

and yeah, when i think about it, a lot my personality is bits and pieces that i've got from other people i hung out with growing up. and people i hang out with now i guess are still influencing me. i chill with a much bigger variety of people than most of my friends at school, and (not to yank my own chain or anything), i'm the most individualistic of all of them like you are. that's another thing about writing, i'm sure there's a lot of writers like us, because we all share that similar interest, and it probably goes beyond graffiti and into a lot of other writers' personal lives.

word, this is piecing a lot together hahah

[PureSole]

^lol yeah
i know what you mean by the not trying to yank your chain part and im not either but hey, im different..like I hang out with all kinds of kids all kinds of races and I learn a lot more and have a lot more connections. And the growing up isn't even peer pressure..its like you connect with similar people or people that seem alright and exchange so everyone grows (idk what im trying to say...lol..you probably get it though..)
yeah though a lot of writers I talked to are similar because we got that desire to leave a legacy, have a purpose, and whatever...most writers i know are open minded

i mean people influence me and i influence them but with writing..its like i get to leave a mark. Some people build wonders, some people paint them :p

[MAST]

yeah i fully know what you're saying. and that's exactly what it is. it's tight to know that i have that in common with somebody else. i mean, i've always thought about it, but i've never really met anybody (especially not around here) that's the same way.

word, this forum is the realness.

[hoax-er-One-er]

wow...


you guys are cute...

[Man!cBCV]

fuck man, ive been fine wit my depression and shit until this morning, i found out that i got court comin' up and i dunno what to do, i mean the results prolly wont be as bad as i think they will be buh i have no idea and i guess thats whats getting to me. back about a month ago, i OD'd and the cops came to my crib and raided it and found about 2 grams of weed and a bunch of prescription medicines. =\ any advice?

[ForGiven]

lol, i was thinkin the same...tear..couple a pages back all i saw was fuck emos, now its like lets change the world with love...lol..jk, real talk though yall are layin down some real shit.

[ForGiven]

oh, shit man, idk wut to say...pray. wut'll happen if you results come back bad?

[PureSole]

haha i knew someone would come in here and say that shit...(ForGiven an hoax)
but were not here writing some poems dying our hair bein depressed..just some light life philosophy shit
on that note i think thats why im in philosophy at my school cause i like thinkin and talkin to people..as gay as that shit seem

Man!cBCV, how old are you?
keep your head up homie

[Man!cBCV]

idk what ima do if the results come back bad, ill prolly have to go to juvie for a while, buh im hopin' for probation and a fine, i can handle that lol buh im 16 bout to be 17 in a few days =\

[PureSole]

eh if its first tim you should be fine

[Man!cBCV]

yeah thas what im thinkin too buh i dont know if theyll be that easy on me since i have gotten busted with graff and shit

[MAST]

yeah your first drug charges, especially when you're 16/17, are usually nothin big. i'm one of the only one of my friends who hasn't gotten bagged yet, and none of them have actually spent any real time in a cell or anything. at most a couple hours. and all of them were drug/alcohol charges. but you'll probably get put on supervised probation (with drug tests)

[Brian Peppers]

real dope, i got a friend who was once sucidal, im sure to share this wit him jus to show him that i aint the only one sayin that.

usually you're only suicidal once... that is if you dont fail.

[PureSole]

usually you're only suicidal once... that is if you dont fail.

Well if you have suicidal thoughts, you are suicidal. Doesn't mean you intend to act upon them by commiting but you might seek help or whatever

[ForGiven]

i like my life i aint tryin to end it no time soon, i think ill want to die when im bout 68, any longer than that and ill be ready to die, 70 years is a long ass time. i aint gonna be suicidal but ima be sick of livin and real curious to see whats next.

[PureSole]

^word
like my cousin told me:
1-20 you go to school/learn
20-30 you have fun fuck around and learn some more
30-50 you settle down
50-70 you become religious and get ready to die
70-_ _ (_) you die
lol

[cds_dogg665544]

Well if you have suicidal thoughts, you are suicidal. Doesn't mean you intend to act upon them by commiting but you might seek help or whatever

is that really true that if you have suicidal thoughts you are suicidal thats crazy i learned something today i thought you had to like try to kill your self and stuff to be suicidal

[SAID]

yo man how you been cds?

[PureSole]

is that really true that if you have suicidal thoughts you are suicidal thats crazy i learned something today i thought you had to like try to kill your self and stuff to be suicidal

well i know those suicide counselors and helplines consider thoughts to be a suicidal person cause i talked to one of the phone counselors because i was messing with her about her job

[MAST]

i mean, i've always thought of suicidal as meaning that you have suicidal tendencies, like you actually consider doing it. pretty much everybody has thoughts about suicide, but most just don't consider it.

[atlok7]

i mean, i've always thought of suicidal as meaning that you have suicidal tendencies, like you actually consider doing it. pretty much everybody has thoughts about suicide, but most just don't consider it.

ha i dont have suicidal thoughts.

[PureSole]

Yeah I know what you mean I'm just saying technically that makes you suicidal if you think about it too much or talk about it or whatever as in saying im gonna kill myself..atleast thats what I was told by a counselor

[Brian Peppers]

What's the most painless way to go? Quick, easy, pretty much 100% guarantee you'll go.

Don't give me some bullshit sob story. Just answer the question.

[Noddles912300]

Im sorry if i sound like an ass, but the thing that comes to mind for painless is prob, gun or a combination of being unconcious and toxic fumes.
I think every human at least thinks of suicide at least once, and i think all are capable of doing so but, I dont think its wise, its just gonna make the people around you sad.

[Brian Peppers]

Im sorry if i sound like an ass, but the thing that comes to mind for painless is prob, gun or a combination of being unconcious and toxic fumes.
I think every human at least thinks of suicide at least once, and i think all are capable of doing so but, I dont think its wise, its just gonna make the people around you sad.

Oh shit. No one around me. Win, win situation. BBALLLLIN!

[FidelGastro]

Oh shit. No one around me. Win, win situation. BBALLLLIN!

less QQ
more pewpew

[Man!cBCV]

yeah your first drug charges, especially when you're 16/17, are usually nothin big. i'm one of the only one of my friends who hasn't gotten bagged yet, and none of them have actually spent any real time in a cell or anything. at most a couple hours. and all of them were drug/alcohol charges. but you'll probably get put on supervised probation (with drug tests)

haha aiight bro thanks that helped, im a little less nervous now but lets hope everything will go smoothly

[cds_dogg665544]

yo man how you been cds?

ive been doing good since i started practicing painting since ive never really painted but a few days later i was depressed again but im fine now and the best thing is my ipod came in today they gave me a new one cus they were to lazy to fix mine. Im putting tunes on it right now its gonna be easier with my ipod back since i didnt have any good CDs i stopped listening to music and got seveer depression and had no way to cope with it. I had to listen to my Mp3 lpayer wich is annoying and has crappy sound.My ipod hooks up to my surround sound so its gonna be soawesome to sit back in my room all day and listen to music. I gotta get some more plywood to practice painting.:cool:

i still get a little depressed some times but im alright. thanx for asking homes

[PureSole]

Ah this reminds me of the campfire at the camp i never went to and never discussed my feeling with all the other kids who never went

[MAST]

cds that's good to hear. i'm glad you're feeling better man. music really is the easiest way to deal with something. it feels good to just sit and chill in your room blastin some good jams.


and man!cbcv, i wouldn't worry. the law shouldn't be something to be nervous about, at least when you're under 18. whenever i get in trouble with the law (never arrested though), the thing i'm most nervous about is my punishment from my parents. once you hit 18, there's nothing to worry about what's happening now, unless it's a felony. but this isn't, so it's fine.

[PureSole]

eh living lawless is still the way to go..but serious question :
we had this dicussion in philosophy class and it was like, if others arent allowed to do something, should you (technically) be allowed to do it? Should you do it?

So basically this is dumb asking other writers but like i said i break laws but i still think others should follow them and I feel I shouldn't be allowed to break them if others can't but I'm still going to do it because I don't agree with them.

[MAST]

i mean, i steal from stores and shit cause i can't constantly pay the overmarked prices for some of that shit, but i won't steal directly from people. you reap what you sow. i used to when i was younger, and i didn't really think anything of it. i just thought everything belonged to me. but now, i know that if anybody stole the shit that i have, i would be furious. i just don't want to cause that distress for anybody else.

unless of course, i think that person deserves it, or it won't matter at all (if they wouldn't notice or wouldn't miss it}. then all of that is thrown out.

like, a while back these 2 kids i know who were dealing stole 20 bucks from me and my friend each. i was pissed, but i never thought i'd be able to do anything. but last year, i ended up with 2 chances on 2 different occasions, to steal the same amount's worth of shit from them, so i did it. one of them didn't notice, and the other one got mad, but realized that it was fine since he stole my money before. so i ended up with free syrup and free really really good bud. like i said, you reap what you sow.


other laws don't really have that same principal for me. if somebody wants to break the law, let them

[PureSole]

^word. I agree with the stealing part though. I used to steal from like 3rd grade to last year..everything..calculators (ti-83 shits), sneakers in p.e., wallets etc but now i realized i would hate if it happened to me, though it never has (ive been lucky i guess)
but yeah its weird when you think of laws in that way so i wanna know what people think