Jokes... [Archive] - Bombing Science: Graffiti Forums

aCId II nz

10-23-2004, 08:11 PM

im takin ta u law........
Oral Sex Medicine
A woman is in a coma. Nurses are in her room giving her a sponge bath.

One of them is washing her "private area" and notices that there is a response on the monitor when she's touched there. So they go to her husband and explain what happened, telling him,

"Crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma."

The husband is skeptical, but they assure him that they'll close the
curtains for privacy. Anything is worth a try, the husband thinks so
he finally agrees and goes into his wife's room.

After a few minutes the woman's monitor shows a flatline... no pulse...no heart rate.

The nurses run into the room. The husband is standing there, pulling
up his pants and says,

"I think she choked."

Can't Swim
Dave walks into a bar and sees John sitting at the end of the bar counter with a great big smile on his face. Dave says "John what are you so happy for?"

"Well Dave, I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat, and a redhead came up to me... tits out to here, Dave, tits out to here! She says "Can I have a ride in your boat?" "I said 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, Dave. I turned off the key and I said 'Its either screw or swim!'
She couldn't swim, Dave, she couldn't swim!!."

The next day Dave walks into a bar and sees John sitten at the end of the bar counter with a bigger smile on his face. Dave says "What are you so happy about today John?"

"Well Dave... I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat and a BEAUTIFUL blond came up to me... tits out to here, Dave, tits out to here! She said 'Can I have a ride in your boat?' "Sure you can have a ride in my boat." So I took her way out, Dave, way out much further than the last one. I turned off the key and I said 'Its either screw or swim!'
She couldn't swim!!, Dave, she couldn't swim!!!!."

A couple days pass and Dave walks into a bar and sees John down there crying over a beer. Dave says "John, what are you so sad for?"

"Well Dave, I gotta tell ya.... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat, and the most desirable brunette came up to me... tits WAY out to here, Dave, tits WAY out to here. I had more wood than my boat does. She says "Can I have a ride in your boat?"

"Sure you can have a ride in my boat."So I took her way out, Dave, way WAY out... much further than the last two. I turned off the key, and looked at her tits and said 'Its either screw or swim!!'. Then, she pulled down her pants.... she had a dick, Dave !!! She had a great BIG dick!!! .....

....Dave, ..... I CAN'T SWIM!!!"

dsetagger

10-23-2004, 08:12 PM

how many black people does it take to single a roof?

3 if you slice em real thin

Pinkstin..

10-23-2004, 08:12 PM

i am racist...

Why do black people only have nightmares?..
because the last one that had a dream got shot

what is the difference between a jew and a pizza?...
my pizzas don't scream when i put them in the oven

aCId II nz

10-23-2004, 08:16 PM

:lol:
Parfum?
Two blondes walk up to a perfume counter. The first one picks up a sample bottle, sprays it on her wrist, smells it, and says, "That's nice, don't you think, Tracy?"

Tracy says, "Yeah. What's it called, Sharon?"

Sharon says, "Viens a moi."

Tracy says, "Viens a moi? What's that mean?"

The store clerk says, "Viens a moi, ladies, is French for 'Come to me.'"

Sharon takes another sniff and says:
"That doesn't smell like come to me. Does it smell like come to you?"

Honey-Woney
A man comes home after a hard day's work, and is looking forward to relaxing. He pours himself a glass of wine, eats a delicious home-cooked meal prepared by his wife, and goes up to his bedroom, where he and his wife have separate beds.
His wife follows him up a few minutes later. "Honey-woney," the man says, "I just want to thank you for fixing me such a delicious meal. I am blessed to have such a wife as you."
He then turns out the light and tries to sleep. After several minutes he finds he can't nod off.
"Sweety pie," he calls out, "I'm lonely."
His wife gets out of bed and makes her way accross the room, but she slips and bangs her nose.
"Did my little bunny fall and hurt her nosey-wosey?" the man asks, as his wife climbs in bed with him.
There follows a 3 hour session of sex. When the couple have finished, the wife heads back over to her own bed, and as she goes she slips up a second time.
"Clumsy Bitch," the man mutters

:rolleyes:
If Monkeys Could Talk

A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said "I wish you could talk."
The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down.
"You can understand what I'm saying?" asked the officer.
Again, the monkey shook his head up and down.

"Well, did you see this?"

"Yes," motioned the monkey.

"What happened?"

The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth.

"They were drinking?" asked the officer.

"Yes."

"What else?"

The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth.

"They were smoking marijuana?"
"Yes."

"Now wait, you're saying your owners were drinking, and smoking marijauana before they wrecked."

"Yes."

"What were you doing during all this?"

"Driving" motioned the monkey.

Attorneys and Physicians
Two attorneys boarded a flight out of Seattle. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before take-off, a physician got on and took the aisle seat next to the two attorneys.

The physician kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the attorney in the window seat said,
"I think I'll get up and get a coke.
"No problem," said the physician, "I'll get it for you."

While he was gone, one of the attorneys picked up the physician's shoe and spat in it. When the physician returned with the coke, the other attorney said,
"That looks good, I think I'll have one too."

Again, the physician obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the other attorney picked up the other shoe and spat in it. The Physician returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.

As the plane was landing, the physician slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.

"How long must this go on?" he asked. "This fighting between our professions? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and peeing in cokes?"

Presidential Collection
A man on his way home from work at the Pentagon came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing's even moving."

He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars so he rolls down his window and asks, "Excuse me Officer, what's the hold up?"

The Officer replies, "The President just found out he was impeached and he's all depressed. He stopped his motorcade in the middle of the Beltway and he's threatening to douse himself in gasoline and set himself on fire. He says his family hates him and he doesn't have the $33.5 million he owes his lawyers. I'm walking around taking up a collection for him."

"Oh really? How much have you collected so far?"
"I've got a lot of folks still siphoning; but right now I have about three hundred gallons
!!

the_uniBOMBER

10-23-2004, 08:26 PM

Originally posted by Law@Oct 23 2004, 06:52 PM
racist mo fuckas
Law you are truly an idiot. At the beggining of their posts they type "not racist but.." and then tell their jokes. That means they are not racist .

aCId II nz

10-23-2004, 08:48 PM

i agree he is an idiot.......
GREATER LOS ANGELES AREA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION:

Name: ____________________
Stage name: __________________________
Agent's Name: __________________________
Attorney's Name: _______________________

Actual Age: _____ Admitted Age: _____

Sex: [ ] male [ ] female
[ ] formerly male [ ] formerly female
[ ] both [ ] neither

If female, indicate breast implant size: _______

Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely operate a motor vehicle in any way?
Yes [ ] No [ ]

Occupation:

[ ] Lawyer
[ ] Actor/Waiter
[ ] Film-maker/Self-employed
[ ] Writer
[ ] Car Dealer
[ ] Pan-handler
[ ] Agent
[ ] Hooker/Transvestite
[ ] Other; please explain: ___________________________

Please list brand of cell phone: ________________________
(If you don't own a cell phone, please explain.)

Please check hair color:
Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde
Teenagers: [ ] Purple [ ] Blue [ ] Skin-head
Men: Please list shade of hair plugs ________________

Please indicate if you have Automobile Insurance:
[ ] Yes [ ] No
If Yes, please explain:

Please check activities you perform while driving (Check all that apply):

[ ] Eating a wrap
[ ] Applying make-up
[ ] Talking on the phone
[ ] Slapping kids in the back seat
[ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
[ ] Tanning
[X] Snorting cocaine (already checked for ease of application)
[ ] Watching TV
[ ] Reading Variety
[ ] Surfing the net via laptop
[ ] Reading a book or other Newspaper

Please indicate how many times:
a) you expect to shoot at other drivers, _____
B) and how many times you expect to be shot at while driving ___.

If you are the victim of a car-jacking, you should immediately:
a) [ ] Call the police to report the crime;
B) [ ] Call Channel 4 News to report the crime, then watch your TV;
c) [ ] Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular phone company for 911 call not going through;
d) [ ] Call your therapist;
e) [ ] None of the above (South Central residents only).

Please indicate if you drive:
a) [ ] a BMW,
B) [ ] a Lexus,
c) [ ] a Mercedes,
d) [ ] a Cabriolet.
If your answer is d, please add 6 to 8 weeks to normal delivery time for your driver's license.

In the event of an earthquake, should you:
a) [ ] stop your car
B) [ ] keep driving and hope for the best,
c) [ ] immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones
d) [ ] pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel?

In the instance of rain, you should:
a) [ ] never drive over 5 MPH,
B) [ ] drive twice as fast as usual, or
c) [ ] you're not sure what "rain" is.

Please indicate number of therapy sessions per week: ____.

Are you presently taking any of the following medications?
(Check all that apply.)
a) [ ] Prozac;
B) [ ] Zovirax;
c) [ ] Lithium;
d) [ ] Zanax.

If none, please explain: __________________.

Length of daily commute:
a) [ ] 1 hour;
B) [ ] 2 hours;
c) [ ] 3 hours;
d) [ ] 4 hours or more.
If under 1 hour, please explain:

When stopped by police, should you
a) [ ] pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form ready,
B) [ ] try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the 405,
c) [ ] have video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit?

whOaHT

10-23-2004, 09:42 PM

Originally posted by Pinkstin..@Oct 23 2004, 07:12 PM
Why do black people only have nightmares?..
because the last one that had a dream got shot

:lol:
i laughed out so fuckin loud
:lol:
classic

rohan

10-23-2004, 10:06 PM

how do get 100 jews in a car?...
throw 10 cents in the back!

how do get 100 jew out of a car?...
tell them hitlers driving

whats the diffrence between a pizza and a jew?
one doesnt scream its put in the oven!

how do you fit 100 jew in the front of a car? put them in the ashtray
why do spics have big noses? so they something to pick in winter

What do you call a pretty paki?
Asif!

Me and Gesus had a whole bunch..but i deleted the convo

What do you call Allah in Italian? (I made this one up...just then)
Porco dio

zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing
zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing
zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing
zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing
zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing
zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing
zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing
zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing
zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing
zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing
zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing
zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing zing

Keep em up!

aCId II nz

10-23-2004, 10:26 PM

Redneck Trucker
A Roadway driver is driving east on Route 66 he sees a truck driving west and the CB crackles to life .
"Hey Roadway driver whos the two biggest poofs in America?" comes from the CB.

The Roadway driver replies . "I don't know" .

The other trucker says " You and your brother ".

Well the Roadway driver gets all annoyed but the other driver tells him "Its just a joke - tell it to the next truck you see."

Well the Roadway driver drives for about an hour an finally sees another truck .he gets on the CB and says " Hey other truck do you know who the two biggest poofs in the world are?"

The other trucker says " I don't know who?"

The roadway driver replies " Me and my brother

Drink Driving
During the big DUI Dragnet, a Highway Patrolman waited outside a popular local bar, hoping for a bust.

At closing time as everyone came out, he spotted his potential quarry. The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, looking for his car. After trying his keys on five others, he finally found his own vehicle.

He sat in the car a good ten minutes as the other patrons left. He turned his lights on, then off, wipers on then off. He started to pull forward into the grass, then stopped. Finally when he was the last car, he pulled out onto the road and started to drive away.

The Patrolman, waiting for this, turned on his lights and pulled the man over. He administered the breathalizer test, and to his great surprise the man blew a 0.00! The Patrolman was dumbfounded!

"This equipment must be broken!" exclaimed the Patrolman.

"I doubt it," said the drunk, "tonight I'm the Designated Decoy!"

The Halloween Ball
A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.

The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party. In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.

She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.

She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang.

Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.

She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had. He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."
Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"

He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But I'll tell you... the guy I loaned my costume to sure had a real good time!"

Been Drinking?"
This bloke is happily driving along in his car when he's pulled over by the police. A policeman approaches him and asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?"
"Why?" asks the man, "Was I all over the road?"

"No" replies the policeman, "You were driving splendidly. The ugly fat bird in the passenger seat gave it away

Twick or Treat?
One Halloween this woman opens her door to find the most adorable little girl, with golden blond curly hair and the biggest blue eyes.
She was dressed as an Angel, and was just delightful. The woman said, "what are you supposed to say sweetheart?"
The little girl looks up at the woman and says "Twick or Tweat!"
The woman thinks this is just adorable, and she calls her husband to come to the door. The woman say to the child, "Go ahead honey say it just one more time."
Once again the little Angel looks up and says, "Twick or Tweat!"
The husband agrees with his wife, this little Angel is just the cutest thing. The woman picks an apple from the Treat Bowl, shines it up with her apron, and drops it into the little girl's Treat Bag.

The little Angel looks in her bag then looks up at the woman and says, "Thanks a lot lady, you just broke my fucking cookies!"

A GENEROUS Lawyer?"
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

"Why are you eating grass?", he asked one man.

"We don't have any money for food.", the poor man replied.

"Oh, come along with me then."

"But sir, I have a wife with two children!"

"Bring them along! And you, come with us too!", he said to the other man.

"But sir, I have a wife with six children!" the second man answered.

"Bring them as well!"

They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "No problem, the grass at my home is about two feet tall."

Who Said That?
It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in her grades. There is really nothing to do and all the kids are restless. The teacher says, "Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave early today."
Little Johnny says to himself, "Good, I want to get outta here I'm smart and will answer the question".
The teacher asked "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?
Before Johnny could open his mouth, Joya said, "Abraham Lincoln".
The teacher said, "That's right Joya. You can go".
Johnny was MAD. The teacher asked, "Who said, 'I Have a Dream'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth, Mary said, "Martin Luther King".
"That's right Mary. You can go".

Johnny was even MADDER than before. The teacher asked, "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth, Marol said, "John Kennedy".
"That's right Marol. You can go".

Johnny was BOILING MAD. Then the teacher turned her back, and Johnny said, "I wish these women would keep their mouths shut".

The teacher asked, "WHO SAID THAT?" Johnny said, "BILL CLINTON, CAN I GO NOW?"

The Efficient Maid
A lawyer who works in Texas gets a call about an emergency which requires him to immediately fly out of the state for a short period of time. He has no time to pack, so he calls home to tell his wife he is going.
The maid answers the call, but is quite hesitant about putting his wife on the phone. After quite a bit of interrogation, she admits that the wife is upstairs in bed with the mailman! The lawyer is furious, and wants to rush right home, but of course there is this emergency he must take care of.
So instead, he tells the maid to go get the gun from the desk drawer and kill both his wife and the mailman. She protests! The lawyer explains that under Texas law it is legal to kill your adulterous wife and her lover. Using his silver tongue, he finally convinces her to do it.
She puts down the phone, and soon the lawyer hears the sound of two gun shots, a scream, some loud thumps, and finally, two splashes.
The maid comes back to the phone.
The lawyer asks, "Did you kill them?"

"Yes," she replies.
The lawyer questions her again,
"What did you do with the bodies?"
"I threw them in the pool," she responds.
There is a brief pause from the lawyer. He asks her, "Did you say the pool?"
"Yes! I threw them in the pool!" she says.
"Uh, is this 555-8904?"

Those four-letter words
A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. Her mother asked, "How was the honeymoon?"
"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..."
Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language...things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4 letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home.... Please mama!"
"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?"
"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed they're just too awful! Come get me, please!"
"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset.... Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"

Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, mama...words like DUST, WASH, IRON, COOK...!"

Horny Gorilla :lol:
It was a warm, sunny Sunday, so a man and his wife decided to take in the zoo. They spent the day and at closing time they walked past the gorilla cage and the man noticed the gorilla looking at his wife.
"That gorilla is getting excited just looking at your tits," he said. "Why don't you take your blouse off and we'll see what he does?"
At first she declined but finally persuaded by her husband, she took off her blouse and bra. The gorilla went nuts. He started grunting and jumping up and down.
"Hey," the husband said, "let's really blow his mind. Take off all your clothes and we'll see what he does." Again she said no and again he persuaded her. This time the ape really went bananas! He climbed up and down the bars, did flips, ran around in circles and tossed his food all over the cage.
The husband went over to the cage, opened the door and
pushed his wife in.

"Now," said the husband with an evil smile, "tell *HIM*, you have a headache!"

:D :lol: :rolleyes: :P :) :lol:

twistedsol831

10-24-2004, 12:48 AM

this is a fucked up joke

what do apples and black people have in common?....they both hang from trees

the_uniBOMBER

10-24-2004, 12:55 AM

A man is driving home from a business trip. It's been a long drive and he's getting kind of lonely, and he wishes he had someone to talk to. Then along the road he spys a navaho man hitchiking his way to the next town. So he stops and lets the man in. They chat for a while but then it gets quiet. The man notices the navaho man looking at a brown package that the man had in the backseat. The man says "it's a bottle of wine, i got it for my wife." The navaho man knods and says "good trade".

Nikon

10-24-2004, 01:00 AM

how do you get 50 dead babies into a phone booth?

a blender.

how do you get them out?

tostitos.

aCId II nz

10-24-2004, 01:04 AM

hahaha thats good one uni. wat do u guys think of tha jokes i posted did u even read them???????

the_uniBOMBER

10-24-2004, 01:12 AM

The designated decoy and the fat chick one were great.

Asshat

10-24-2004, 11:36 AM

Originally posted by the_uniBOMBER@Oct 23 2004, 11:55 PM
A man is driving home from a business trip. It's been a long drive and he's getting kind of lonely, and he wishes he had someone to talk to. Then along the road he spys a navaho man hitchiking his way to the next town. So he stops and lets the man in. They chat for a while but then it gets quiet. The man notices the navaho man looking at a brown package that the man had in the backseat. The man says "it's a bottle of wine, i got it for my wife." The navaho man knods and says "good trade".
I do believe my grandmother told me this one once. :rolleyes:

Nonetheless it's a good joke.

toazt

10-24-2004, 12:09 PM

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice.

oblong

10-24-2004, 12:35 PM

i was never down with remembering all those crazy long jokes
or telling them
but i dont mind

denali

10-24-2004, 01:59 PM

why did hitler commit suicide?
he got the gas bill

why are asprins white?
cus they work

whats the difference between a snow tire and a ******?
a snow tire doesnt sing when you put chains on it

why do ******s stink?
so blind people can hate them too

why dont ******s play in sand boxes?
cats keep covering them up

what do you call 10 ******s on the moon?
a problem

what do you call 100 ******s on the moon?
a big problem

what do you call ALL the ******s on the moon?
problem solved

whats the difference between a bucket of shit and a ******?
the bucket

Car2nist

10-24-2004, 02:05 PM

god damn, you're so racist

but whats worse than a bunch of egyptians building a bridge across the desert? a ****** fishin off it.

denali

10-24-2004, 03:24 PM

lol so? i live in new orleans man its like a ****** fest over here.......they always steal shit from you so i paint their house then piss on it.........i hate them....sorry

its only the ones who steal my shit and do drugs and try to be all gangster

i have black friends but there not all gangster and shit there the cool mello people that wont try and fight you cus ur white.......thats when u whip out the brass knuckles :ph34r:

Adamo

10-24-2004, 04:04 PM

RACISM IS BAD.

Why do jews have such big noses ?
Because air is free.

What do you call an invisible paki ?
a fart

What do you can a paki with a wooden leg ?
shit on a stick
2 wooden legs ?
a shitsicle

What are all black people so fast ?
cuz the slow ones are in jail

What do you call a bunch of black people running over a hill ?
a jail break

How do you keep a black person from drowning ?
Take your foot off his head

What do you call Mike Tyson is he had no arms ?
A ******

RASICM IS BAD.

Car2nist

10-24-2004, 04:12 PM

what do you call a deer with no eyes?
I have no eyedeer!

what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs
I STILL have no eyedeer...

i dunno :\

MANiAkONe

10-24-2004, 04:15 PM

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

denali

10-24-2004, 04:16 PM

lmao, wtf, it was funny cus it was stupid and made no sense well atleast the 2nd one did 1st one was good

MANiAkONe

10-24-2004, 04:20 PM

Originally posted by aCId II nz@Oct 23 2004, 07:48 PM
i agree he is an idiot.......
GREATER LOS ANGELES AREA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION:

Name: ____________________
Stage name: __________________________
Agent's Name: __________________________
Attorney's Name: _______________________

Actual Age: _____ Admitted Age: _____

Sex: [ ] male [ ] female
[ ] formerly male [ ] formerly female
[ ] both [ ] neither

If female, indicate breast implant size: _______

Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely operate a motor vehicle in any way?
Yes [ ] No [ ]

Occupation:

[ ] Lawyer
[ ] Actor/Waiter
[ ] Film-maker/Self-employed
[ ] Writer
[ ] Car Dealer
[ ] Pan-handler
[ ] Agent
[ ] Hooker/Transvestite
[ ] Other; please explain: ___________________________

Please list brand of cell phone: ________________________
(If you don't own a cell phone, please explain.)

Please check hair color:
Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde
Teenagers: [ ] Purple [ ] Blue [ ] Skin-head
Men: Please list shade of hair plugs ________________

Please indicate if you have Automobile Insurance:
[ ] Yes [ ] No
If Yes, please explain:

Please check activities you perform while driving (Check all that apply):

[ ] Eating a wrap
[ ] Applying make-up
[ ] Talking on the phone
[ ] Slapping kids in the back seat
[ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
[ ] Tanning
[X] Snorting cocaine (already checked for ease of application)
[ ] Watching TV
[ ] Reading Variety
[ ] Surfing the net via laptop
[ ] Reading a book or other Newspaper

Please indicate how many times:
a) you expect to shoot at other drivers, _____
B) and how many times you expect to be shot at while driving ___.

If you are the victim of a car-jacking, you should immediately:
a) [ ] Call the police to report the crime;
B) [ ] Call Channel 4 News to report the crime, then watch your TV;
c) [ ] Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular phone company for 911 call not going through;
d) [ ] Call your therapist;
e) [ ] None of the above (South Central residents only).

Please indicate if you drive:
a) [ ] a BMW,
B) [ ] a Lexus,
c) [ ] a Mercedes,
d) [ ] a Cabriolet.
If your answer is d, please add 6 to 8 weeks to normal delivery time for your driver's license.

In the event of an earthquake, should you:
a) [ ] stop your car
B) [ ] keep driving and hope for the best,
c) [ ] immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones
d) [ ] pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel?

In the instance of rain, you should:
a) [ ] never drive over 5 MPH,
B) [ ] drive twice as fast as usual, or
c) [ ] you're not sure what "rain" is.

Please indicate number of therapy sessions per week: ____.

Are you presently taking any of the following medications?
(Check all that apply.)
a) [ ] Prozac;
B) [ ] Zovirax;
c) [ ] Lithium;
d) [ ] Zanax.

If none, please explain: __________________.

Length of daily commute:
a) [ ] 1 hour;
B) [ ] 2 hours;
c) [ ] 3 hours;
d) [ ] 4 hours or more.
If under 1 hour, please explain:

When stopped by police, should you
a) [ ] pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form ready,
B) [ ] try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the 405,
c) [ ] have video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit?
that shit is so true haha

glue

10-24-2004, 04:26 PM

wow lots of racism in this thread, there was way less befor.

aCId II nz

10-24-2004, 05:32 PM

50th Anniversary
A husband and wife are celebrating their 50th anniversary. That night the wife approaches her husband wearing the exact same sexy little negligee she wore on their wedding night.
She looks at her husband and says, "Honey, Do you remember this?"
He looks up at her and says, "Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married."
She says, "Yes, that's right. Do you remember what you said to me that night."
He nods and says, "Yes dear, I still remember."
"Well, what was it?" she asks.
He responds, "Well honey, as I remember, I said, "Ohhhhhhhhh Baby, I'm going to suck the life out of those big tits and screw your brains out."
She giggles and says, "Yes honey, that's it. That's exactly what you said. So, now it's 50 years later, I'm in the same negligee I wore that night. What do you have to say tonight?"
Again he looks up at her and looks her up and down and replies, " Mission Accomplished."

You Must Be a Dentist
A guy and a girl met at a bar. They started getting along really well they decide to go to the girl's place for a drink.
A few drinks later, the guy took off his shirt and washed his hands. He then took off his socks and washed his hands. The girl looked at him and says: 'You must be a dentist!'
Flabbergasted, the guy responded 'Yes, that's amazing how did you figure that out ?'
The girl said: 'Easy .... you keep washing your hands'
One thing led to another, they migrated to the bed and things became more passionate.
After they were done, the girl said: 'You must be a GREAT dentist!'
The guy was very very surprised, and said 'Yes, I sure am a great dentist ... How did you figure that out??'

The girl said: 'Easy ... I didn't feel a thing'

3 Door Choice

A rather bad man dies and meets Satan in a room with three doors. Satan explains, "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that you have to spend eternity behind one of these doors. But, the good news is that you can take a peek behind each and take your choice."
So, the man opened the first door and saw a room full of people, standing on their heads on a concrete floor. Not very nice, he thought.
Opening the second door, he saw a room full of people standing on their heads on a wooden floor. Better, he thought, but best to check the last door.
Upon opening the last door, he saw a room full of people, standing waist-deep in excrement and sipping coffee.
"Of the three, this one looks best," he said and waded in to get something to drink while Satan closed the door.

A few minutes later the door opened, Satan stuck his head in and said, "Ok, coffee break`s over, back on your heads!"

At The Pearly Gates

Three truck drivers die and meet St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
St.Peter asks the first truck driver, "Did you ever break the law?"
The truck driver responds, "Sure."
St. Peter then asks him, "Did you ever exceed the speed limit?"
The driver responds, "All the time."
Then St. Peter asks him, "Did you ever cheat on your wife?"
The truck driver heartily responded, "Every chance I got."
St. Peter then told the first truck driver to select door number 3 of the three available doors.
Then St. Peter asks the second truck driver, "Did you ever break the law?"
The truck driver responds, "Sometimes."
"Did you ever exceed the speed limit?"
"Every now and then."
"Did you ever cheat on your wife?"
"A couple of times."
St. Peter told truck driver number 2 to also enter door number 3.
St. Peter now asks truck driver number 3 the same questions. "Did you ever break the law?"
The truck driver says, "No."
He then asks, "Did you ever exceed the speed limit?"
Again the driver responds, "No".
St. Peter then asks, "Did you ever cheat on your wife?"
The truck driver thought a couple of seconds and said, "Well, once. You see, I was in this bar in Nebraska. I noticed they only had one woman in it for all of the men. I asked the bartender why this was and he said, 'Well, she's all we need. She can suck a golf ball through a garden hose.' so that's when I cheated on my wife."

St. Peter then told the truck driver to enter door number 1.
The truck driver, in amazement, asks, "What?? You sent the others to door number 3??"

St. Peter calmly replies,
"Yes, they're going to hell. But we're off to Nebraska!"

Walk on Water

At an interfaith retreat some time ago, the organizers decided to allow for a free afternoon of just socializing. A priest, minister, and a rabbi went fishing together.
After awhile, the priest said, "Brother, Rabbi, would you please both excuse me, I've got to pee." He laid down his fishing pole, stepped over the side of the boat, and walked across the water to the shore. He finished his business, then walked back across the water to the boat.
The minister said, "Father, I didn't want to be the first to have to go," stood up, stepped over the side of the boat,and walked right on top of the water to the shore. He also finished his business, zipped up, and walked back on the water right back to the boat.
The rabbi was awestruck. Imagine -- WALKING on water! He thought to himself, "well, if they can do this, so can I!" He excused himself to the priest and minister, put his pole down, stepped over the side of the boat . . . and sunk like a rock.

The priest turned to the minister and said, "You think we should have told him where the rocks were?"

Nuns on Holiday

Two British nuns, Sister Carol and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in a car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly, a diminutive vampire jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses at them through the windshield.
"Quick, quick!!" shouts Sister Carol. "What shall I do?"
"Turn the windshield wipers on; that will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Helen.
Sister Carol switches them on, which knocks the vampire about, but he clings on and hisses again at the nuns.
"What shall I do now?" she shouts.
"Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water in the Vatican," says Sister Helen.
The vampire steams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and hisses again.
"Now what?" shouts Sister Carol.
"Show him your cross," says Sister Helen.

Sister Carol opens the window and shouts:
"GET OFF MY F***ING CAR!!"

The Pope's Choice
The pope had become very ill and was taken to many doctors, all of whom could not figure out how to cure him. Finally he was brought to an old physician, who stated that he could figure it out.
After about an hour's examination he came out and told the cardinals that he knew what was wrong. He said that the bad news was that it was a rare disorder of the testicles. He said that the goods news was that all the pope had to do to be cured was to have sex.
Well, this was not good news to the cardinals, who argued about it at length. Finally they went to the pope with the doctor and explained the situation.
After some thought, the pope stated, "I agree, but under four conditions."
The cardinals were amazed and there arose quite an uproar. Over all of the noise there arose a single voice that asked, "And what are the four conditions?"
The room stilled. There was a long pause... The pope replied,
"First the girl must be blind, so that she cannot see with whom she is having sex."
"Second, she must be deaf, so that she cannot hear with whom she is having sex."
"And third she must be dumb so that if somehow she figures out with who she is having sex, she can tell no one."
After another long pause a voice arose and asked, "And the fourth condition?"
The pope smiled and replied, "Big tits."

Getting into Shape

An obviously overweight young man decided to sign up for a weight loss program complete with a personal trainer. It included a run each morning at 6:00 a.m.
So when the door bell rings the next morning, he's dressed and ready to go. When he opens the door he sees the most beautiful blonde he has ever seen. She's tall, very well endowed above a very slim waist with long graceful legs. She's dressed in a small pair of running shorts and a running halter that can barely contain her. She smiles and says,
"If you can catch me, you can have me." and starts off at a very fast run.
This continues each morning. After about three very frustrating weeks the young man begins to get in shape and can almost keep up with her. One morning he's barely able to touch her running shorts but can't hang on. But he thinks tomorrow will be the big day. I'll catch her and have her. He barely sleeps that night waiting in eager anticipation.
The next morning, the bell rings precisely at 6:00 am. He runs to the door and throws it open. There stands a huge burley woman, at least six feet five inches in height and over 250 pounds. She's muscled up like a plow ox and has a large wart amid her facial hair.
She smiles and says,
"I'm your new trainer. If I can catch you, I can have you!"

Asshat

10-24-2004, 07:06 PM

What do you get when you cross a zebra with a penguin?

A pretty god damn fucked up animal that's for sure.

CraYon

10-24-2004, 07:47 PM

So there's a pile up on the highways in which two trucks spilled their loads on two separate lanes, one spilled thousands of babies and the other spilled hundreds of bowling balls. The clean up crew need to clean up the lane that would be quickest to clear traffic.

Which one should they clean up? Babies of Bowling Balls?

The Babies cause they can use a pitchfork!

-->MaNiK1<--

10-24-2004, 08:01 PM

A guy walks in, late for class, putting his shirt on. The teacher asks, Where have you been? He sez, On top of Blueberry Hill. Okay have a seat

A second guy walks in, putting his pants on. The Teach asks, where have you been? He sez, Under Blueberry hill. Okay have a seat

A second guy walks in, putting his shoes on. The Teach asks, where have you been? He sez, Inside Blueberry hill. Okay have a seat

Finally a blonde chick walks in. The teach sez, who are you?
She sez, I'm Blueberry Hill. I'm new here.

Hahaha, wat a knee-slapper.

aCId II nz

10-24-2004, 09:17 PM

even though u start useless threads manik u are one funny muthafuka

glue

10-24-2004, 09:23 PM

Originally posted by CraYon@Oct 24 2004, 06:47 PM
So there's a pile up on the highways in which two trucks spilled their loads on two separate lanes, one spilled thousands of babies and the other spilled hundreds of bowling balls. The clean up crew need to clean up the lane that would be quickest to clear traffic.

Which one should they clean up? Babies of Bowling Balls?

The Babies cause they can use a pitchfork!
gotta love dead baby jokes!

joust

10-24-2004, 09:29 PM

so true ^

how do you get 100 dead babies into the trunk of a volkswagon ? A bleander, how do you get them out? nacho chips.

Earsone2004

10-24-2004, 09:35 PM

How do u get a black guy to wear a condom? Put a nike logo on it

GeSuS_KRiST

10-24-2004, 10:00 PM

ok im not goin to lie i hate kids and this is why im known as the dady baby joke king

What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume!

What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby sitting next to a kid with down syndrome.

What's more fun than feeling up a dead baby?
Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples

What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.

What's brown and gurgles?
A baby in a casserole

How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ?
Nail its other hand to the floor.

What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall?
Art.

What's blue and thrashes about on the floor?
A baby playing in a plastic bag.

How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole?
Stick a javelin through it's head.

How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.

What's purple, covered in pus and squeals?
A peeled baby in a bag of salt

What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A baby in a trash compactor.

What's the difference between a Dead Baby and a tree?
One is legal to hit with an AX.

What do you get when you dislocate a dead baby's jaw?
Deep Throat.

Why do you stick a baby in the blender feet first?
So you can see the expression on its face!

ok enuf for now to anyone whos offened by these sorry

mr.white

10-24-2004, 10:34 PM

I did laugh at your dead baby jokes. now i feel dirty.

joust

10-24-2004, 10:45 PM

eww just plane gross man

seckzoner

10-24-2004, 10:59 PM

oh man, i couldnt go through half of those baby jokes. i hate em. except the nacho chip ones. that ones dirty but still perversly funny.

halo

10-24-2004, 11:14 PM

got this off of ebaums world...I love it!
Two male buddies were walking through the woods when out of no where, a poisonous snake came and bit one of the men in the penis! The man collapsed to the ground while his friend ran to town to get help. The man arrived at a doctor's office and said help, help, my friend was bit by a snake in the penis. The doctor remarked that he couldn't get all his tools to the woods in time to save the friend, so he told him that he would have to suck the venom out of his friend! There has got to be another way said the man and the doctor sighed no I am sorry! The man ran back to the woods and found his poor friends lying on the floor in allot of pain! The man on the floor cried, what did the doctor say? The friend said, he said you're going to die.

das1

10-24-2004, 11:34 PM

what do you call a bunch of mexicans in front of a house? a spicit fence.

what do you call a bunch of white people jumpin out a plane? day
what do you call a bunch of black people jumpin out a plane? night
what do you call a bunch of mexicans jumpin out a plane? pollution.

what do you call a bunch of black people in a barn? antique farm equimpent

whats the difference between a large pizza and a large black man? a large pizza can feed a family of 4

how does bill clinton keep his ankles warm? wool underware

what do you call the kkk? crime stopers :lol:

GeSuS_KRiST

10-25-2004, 12:40 AM

*sigh* still no black jokes i dont know

whats the best thing about having sex with a child?
there lil hands make your penis look soooo big

whats the worst thing?
getting blood on your clown costume or here there hips break when u fuck them

whats the best thing about have sex with twenty-six yearolds?
there 20 of them

whats black red and blue and does like ass sex?
the 4 year old in my trunk

whats the best thing about a 10 year old in the shower?
when u slick there hair back they look 8

DIRTAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

aCId II nz

10-25-2004, 02:52 AM

can i hav some more of those jokes gesus....hahahahaha jokes im lovin the twenty six yr old one........

aCId II
peace

rohan

10-25-2004, 03:13 AM

Originally posted by GeSuS_KRiST@Oct 24 2004, 11:40 PM
whats the best thing about a 10 year old in the shower?
when u slick there hair back they look 8

dont get!

aCId II nz

10-25-2004, 03:23 AM

tha yunga tha better........

not that im into lil boys lil girls are betta!!!!!!!!

aCId II
peace

seckzoner

10-25-2004, 05:22 AM

aaaahahahha gesus you kill me man.
i love these ones

whats the best thing about a 10 year old in the shower?
when u slick there hair back they look 8
whats the best thing about have sex with twenty-six yearolds?
there 20 of them
whats the best thing about having sex with a child?
there lil hands make your penis look soooo big

oh and its SOOO TRUE>.
ahahahhaha im just fuckin around. pedophil..ism? is not my thing. ew thats fuckt still good jokes though. ahahah

GeSuS_KRiST

10-25-2004, 05:43 AM

im the king of offencive joke it gets old tho fast at partys

Slob

10-25-2004, 06:04 AM

whats small red and crawling up the side of your leg?
a home-sick abortion.

whats the difference between a dead babie and a rock?
you can't fuck a rock

whats more fun that swinging a babie on the clothes lines?
stopping it wth a shovel

whats better that winning gold in the special olympics?
not being retarted

How do you make a dead baby float ? Two scoops of icecream and a scoop of dead baby.

What is more disgusting than a pile of 100 dead babies?
One live one in the middle is eating its way out.

What's more fun than a barrel of dead babies?
Sticking pins in their eyes.

Why didn't they crucify baby jesus?
I dont know why they didn't either.

What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

if you want ****** jokes just download some David allen coe, that shit is hillarious and real, from the 50's or 60's i think.

GeSuS_KRiST

10-25-2004, 06:24 AM

slob just got SO much more cooler in my book

whats small red and crawling up the side of your leg?
a home-sick abortion.

yo i got sent home from school and had to have a conference with the school councler me n my rents because of that joke.... good times

whats the diffrence between a million dead babys and a corvette?
i dont have a corvette in my garage.... but you almost got it

GeSuS_KRiST

10-25-2004, 06:30 AM

these are for u slob

What's red and goes round and round?
A baby in a garbage disposal.

What's more fun than stapling babies to a wall?
Ripping them off again.

Why do you unload a truck full of babies with a pitchfork?
So you can tell which ones are still alive.

What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?
I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex.

What's present do you get for a dead baby?
A dead puppy.

How many dead babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil?
It depends on how hard you squeeze them.

What's the difference between a baby and a grandmother?
Grandmothers don't die when you fuck them up the ass.

What's worse than a having sex with a dead baby?
Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades.

What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.

What is pink and red and sits in a corner?
A baby chewing on razor blades.

What is green and sits in a corner?
The same baby, six weeks later.

How are babies and the elderly alike?
Both are fun to throw out of moving cars.

What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib ?
A Pedophiles ass.

What's worse than smoking pot with a baby?
Making a bong out of it

What's the safest way to play with a baby ?
With a condom.

What's the best thing about a Siamese twin baby?
Threesomes.

sorry i broke out the heavy ones.... once again my deepest apologies for those who got offened

rohan

10-25-2004, 06:36 AM

vaffanculo! keep them coming oh and why arent you on msn MR!

whats the diffrence between everyone here and me! answer to be in ahort while

rohan

10-25-2004, 07:02 AM

When is the only time you can spit in a Persian womans face?
When her mustache is on fire!

What do you call an arab standing between two buildings?
Ali!

Why is the Afghan air force so easy to train?
You only have to teach them how to take off!

Why aren't there any Wal*Marts in Afghanistan?
Because there's a Target on every corner!

What do you call a peice of sandpaper in Afghanistan?
A map!

Failed Afghan recruitment slogans:
Be Allah you can be!
Martyrs have more fun!
Free camoflage turbans! Sign up today!
Uncle oSAMa wants you!

What do you call a guy with his hand up a camels ass?
An Afghani mechanic!

How many jews can you fit in a VW Beetle?
54, two in the front, two in the back, and fifty in the ashtray.

How do you know you have a queer Jew?
He likes money more than girls.

Have you heard about the Jewish sports car?
It stops on a dime, then picks it up

What is a Jews biggest dilemmma?
Free pork

Whey do Jews have such big noses?
Cuz all the airs free.

Whats the object of Jewish football?
To get the quarter back.

How was copper wire invented?
2 Jews figh/ting over the same pennty

What language does Jewish homo speak?
Heblew

What did the little German boy get for his birthday?
Easy bake oven and a G.I Jew

What happen when a Jew with an errection walks into a wall?
He breaks his nose

Why do blacks put their garbage in clear bags?
So puerto ricans can window shop

What do you call a mexican getting baptised?
Bean dip!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

How do you kill a mexican
Throw a quarter off a clif
:o :huh:
What do you get when you breed a black and a mexican?
A theif who's too lazy to steal! :D :D :rolleyes:
:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: B)
How do you find the richest spic in town?
Drop a penny, whoever catches it is the richest spic!

Why do mexicans eat tamales on christmas?
So they'll have something to unwrap!
<_<

Why were there only 40000 mexicans at the Alamo?
They only have two cars!

:angry:
How do you start a mexica parade?
Roll a quarter down the street

:D
How do you keep an indian out of your back yar
Move the trash cans to the frotn
:lol:
How do you know if a chink robbed your house
Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later the chink is still trying to back out of your driveway
<_<
What's the most common pickup line in a gay bar?
May I push your stool in?
:(
What does AiDs stand fo
Anally Injected Death Sentence
:ph34r:
How do you fit three gays on one barstool?
Turn it upside-down

:blink:
hat did one gay sperm say to the other?
How are we ever gonna find an egg in all this shit?

denali

10-25-2004, 06:08 PM

Originally posted by rohan@Oct 25 2004, 06:02 AM

How do you fit three gays on one barstool?
Turn it upside-down

arent there 4 legs on a bar stool?

Car2nist

10-25-2004, 06:19 PM

whats better... than having sex with a 8 year old girl?
A 6 year old girl

whats better than having sex with a 6 year old girl?
a 6 year old boy :o

Rik JamEs

10-25-2004, 07:02 PM

I got a good joke.

Women's Rights.

Car2nist

10-25-2004, 07:03 PM

i got a better one, womens sufferage

the_uniBOMBER

10-25-2004, 07:03 PM

Originally posted by Rik JamEs@Oct 25 2004, 06:02 PM
I got a good joke.

Women's Rights.
That's horrible but it made me laugh. I'm going straight to hell.

le shotgun?

10-25-2004, 07:42 PM

Why did the dead baby cross the road?

He was chained to my bumper!

GeSuS_KRiST

10-25-2004, 08:06 PM

why do women where white?
to match rest the kitchen appliances

aCId II nz

10-25-2004, 08:14 PM

jesus christ gesus krist u got sum good ones aiite.....

Asshat

10-25-2004, 09:58 PM

I'm not a racist.

A Chinese couple have a black baby, named him Sum Ting Wong.

Why did the black guy say fee, fi, fo, fum? He was giving out his address - #3541.

How come Mexicans are like sperm? Only 1 in a million work.

What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower? Unemployed.

The Pillsbury doughboy is way too happy considering he has no dick.

Why are lesbians lazy? Because they don't do dick and they always eat out.

An ugly man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face.
"What are you so happy about?" Asks the barman.
"Well, I'll tell you," replies the ugly man. "You know, I live by the railway. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, like in the movies. I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place. Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all night, all over the house. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top, every position imaginable!"
"Fantastic!" exclaimed the barman. "You lucky guy. Was she pretty?"
"I dont know...Never found the head.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan!

What does one fag say to another fag going on vacation?
Can I help you pack your shit?

What does AIDS stand for?
Anally Injected Death Sentence.

How do you know if you're at a gay picnic?
The hotdogs taste like shit!

Four fags are sitting in a hot tub. They notice some sperm rising to the surface. One fag says, "Ok, who farted?"

Where do you send a Jew with A.D.D.? Concentration camp.

Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

GeSuS_KRiST

10-25-2004, 11:14 PM

lol asshats awesome

GeSuS_KRiST

10-25-2004, 11:18 PM

i have ALOT of black jokes but i dont know if ill tell them or not inhave well over 5 pages memorized its been 2 years sence ive heard a black joke i dont know hmmm so should i say them by the way im not racist at all

Avos

10-25-2004, 11:20 PM

Originally posted by Asshat@Oct 25 2004, 08:58 PM
I'm not a racist.

Where do you send a Jew with A.D.D.? Concentration camp.

hahahaha that one was so wrong but yet so funny

denali

10-26-2004, 12:01 AM

if someone calls you a jew say:

dude my grandfather died at austwhich (or w/e its called) he got drunk and fell off a watch tower <---- made me giggle

rohan

10-26-2004, 02:13 AM

Originally posted by denali+Oct 25 2004, 05:08 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (denali @ Oct 25 2004, 05:08 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-rohan@Oct 25 2004, 06:02 AM

How do you fit three gays on one barstool?
Turn it upside-down

arent there 4 legs on a bar stool? [/b][/quote]
i dunno, maybe you should typed it out puttana

$ameone

10-26-2004, 05:15 AM

why dont cannibals eat clowns?
Coz they taste funny!

hahahahahaahahahahahahahahah
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

ah dats all i got..

KANZ-KONVIKS

10-26-2004, 08:02 AM

i have'nt read all the jokes so this one might have been said, but anyway its fucked up!

how do you make a baby cry twice?

when your done wipe you bloody cock on its teddy,

sorry,

MANiAkONe

10-26-2004, 03:43 PM

Originally posted by $ameone@Oct 26 2004, 04:15 AM
why dont cannibals eat clowns?
Coz they taste funny!

hahahahahaahahahahahahahahah
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

ah dats all i got..
that made me laugh cuz it was so stupid lol

das1

10-27-2004, 12:05 AM

:lol: so theres 3 guys standing out side ripleys believe it or not, and the
two of the guys are like what are you goin in for, he says i think i got the biggest hands in the world, so he goes in , then comes out and says yup i got the biggest hands, so the first guy and the 3rd guy ask the 2nd guy what you goin in for, he says i think i got the biggest feet in the world, so he comes in and comes back out and says yup i got the biggest feet in the world, so they ask the 3rd guy what are you goin in for , he says well i think i got the smallest penis in the world so he goes in and comes back out and says,
who the fuck is the unibomber? :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Tony

10-27-2004, 12:14 AM

ha, ha, ha.

i happen to know "the unibomber" is acctualy quite well hung.

that is, IF HE WAS A HAMSTER!

just kidding buddy, you know i love you :wub:

the_uniBOMBER

10-27-2004, 01:41 AM

Originally posted by Tony@Oct 26 2004, 11:14 PM
i happen to know "the unibomber" is acctualy quite well hung.
My dick is so big, Trump owns it.

acer01

10-27-2004, 02:20 AM

-What did one condom say to the other condom as they walked past a gay bar?

Wanna get shit faced

rohan

10-27-2004, 02:36 AM

you need physcriatric help

rohan

10-27-2004, 02:37 AM

Originally posted by the_uniBOMBER+Oct 27 2004, 12:41 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (the_uniBOMBER @ Oct 27 2004, 12:41 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Tony@Oct 26 2004, 11:14 PM
i happen to know "the unibomber" is acctualy quite well hung.
My dick is so big, Trump owns it. [/b][/quote]
lol thats is funny

GeSuS_KRiST

10-27-2004, 03:31 AM

that was funny s diddy

how much does it cost for a pirate to get his ear periced?

a buccaneer!

(a buck an ear for the stupid people)

a man walks into a bar u know what he says?
ouch

how many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
none they rather sit in the dark and cry themself to sleep

rohan

10-27-2004, 05:05 AM

Originally posted by GeSuS_KRiST@Oct 27 2004, 02:31 AM
a man walks into a bar u know what he says?
ouch

thats so 1999

meatgrinder

10-27-2004, 09:18 AM

Q: what does a dead child in a blender look like ?

A: I dunno, i was too busy masterbating

xylene hug

10-27-2004, 01:25 PM

Q: whats black and blue and does'nt like sex

A: the 6 year old in my trunk

**that was for rodny! R.I.P.***

denali

10-27-2004, 05:57 PM

the pirate one reminded me of this one.....its dumb....

a pirate walked into a bar and he had a steering wheel hanging from his nuts and this guy askes "why do you have a steering wheel hanging from your nuts" and the pirate says "ARRR its driving me nuts"

or

did you hear about the new pirate movie?
its rated RRRRRRRR

:lol:

aCId II nz

10-27-2004, 07:27 PM

Originally posted by das1@Oct 26 2004, 11:05 PM
:lol: so theres 3 guys standing out side ripleys believe it or not, and the
two of the guys are like what are you goin in for, he says i think i got the biggest hands in the world, so he goes in , then comes out and says yup i got the biggest hands, so the first guy and the 3rd guy ask the 2nd guy what you goin in for, he says i think i got the biggest feet in the world, so he comes in and comes back out and says yup i got the biggest feet in the world, so they ask the 3rd guy what are you goin in for , he says well i think i got the smallest penis in the world so he goes in and comes back out and says,
who the fuck is the unibomber? :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAH fuck thats funny as no offence uni ima remember that one...........Clever Woman"

A woman and a man get into a car accident, and it's a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says,
"So you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman... Wow! Just look at our cars. There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days."
The man replied, " I agree with you completely; this must be a sign from God!"
The woman continued, "And look at this - here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man shakes his head in agreement, opens it and takes a few big swigs from the bottle, then handing it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I will just wait for the police..."

whOaHT

10-27-2004, 08:10 PM

once again im not racist

Q-why do black jews have it so bad?
A-They have to sit in back of the oven

Q-What does BMW Stand for?
A-Black Man's Wish

Q-What does Pontiac stand for?
A-Poor Old ****** Thinks Its A Cadillac

Condoms have it hard, i mean c'mon they do push ups in the dark while wearing a raincoat and then they throw up all over themselves!

Rik JamEs

10-28-2004, 03:42 PM

Q: How do Chinese people name there kids ?

A: They throw pots and pans down stairs..........ping ting ching

(not a racist)

ACE512

10-28-2004, 06:12 PM

how comes theres not many white racist jokes ????

what do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator ???

a box of crackers

whOaHT

10-28-2004, 10:38 PM

it wasnt funny :(
i agree there isnt many jokes against us white folks!

i got a quicky

There is this guy, he wants a new brain!
He comes across a guy who is selling brains for great prices!
i've got 3 in stock, Einstein's brain at 1,000$ Hitler's brain for 5,000$ and George W Bush's brain for 50,000$
He then asks
how come such a huge difference between hitler's and bush's brain!
the man responds
Bush's brain has never been used

Atom

10-29-2004, 12:11 PM

what do you call a bunch of black kids in a pile of leaves .................................................. ......................................raisen bran

Rik JamEs

10-29-2004, 03:45 PM

I got 2 white people jokes

Q: what do u call a bunch of white people in a bus ?
A: a twinkie

Q: what do u call a bunch of white people falling down a hill ?
A: an avalanche

MoNkEy

10-30-2004, 07:12 AM

Q)wat did the snowman say to the other snowman ????
A)i smell carrots

Q)How do you stop a rhino from charging????
A)Take away its credit card

Q)What music does an egyptian mummy listen to????
A)Rap

They are all from my little bro lol

rohan

10-30-2004, 07:45 AM

shove him in a box and throw him in the sea

MoNkEy

10-30-2004, 08:13 AM

lol i wish i could :D

whOaHT

10-30-2004, 01:59 PM

:lol:

Two grains of sand were in the dessert!
One stopped and said
''i think we're being followed''

Mensturation!
I personally dont trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesnt die!

What did the mute say to the def man?

MoNkEy

10-30-2004, 02:09 PM

lol haha^^ i only got the sand one lol

whOaHT

10-30-2004, 04:05 PM

:lol: man you're slower then a turtle!

Q-Why does the blonde have a bottle of windex next to her computer?
A-To clean her windows

:P

MoNkEy

10-30-2004, 04:24 PM

lol haha thats well gd

whOaHT

10-30-2004, 04:30 PM

why did the blonde stare at a can of OJ?
cause it said ''concentrate''

ah ha so old yet still funny!

acteh

10-30-2004, 04:35 PM

Q-What does Pontiac stand for?
A-Poor Old ****** Thinks Its A Cadillac

:huh: aha nice one Whoa

whOaHT

10-30-2004, 10:24 PM

can you tell a knock knock joke to a homeless person?
:lol:

MoNkEy

10-31-2004, 07:06 AM

lol haha ^^^

shyone

10-31-2004, 11:04 AM

Q:why are you reading this?

A: cos you are gay <_<

afterten

10-31-2004, 11:13 AM

whats worse than 10 dead babies nailed to one tree?

1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

thats right, I went there.

xylene hug

10-31-2004, 06:13 PM

Originally posted by whOaHT@Oct 30 2004, 09:24 PM
can you tell a knock knock joke to a homeless person?
:lol:
:lol: !!
i think you just stomp the ground

Car2nist

10-31-2004, 06:15 PM

whats worse than his 1 baby nailed to 10 trees?

the 6 year old in my closet bout to get nailed by me and my 9 buddies :D

joust

10-31-2004, 07:17 PM

i got one

Whats the diffrence between sand, and menstrile fluid?

you cant gargle sand

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

mad

10-31-2004, 07:27 PM

how do you make a dead baby float?

a large glass, rootbear, and a dead baby

(dead baby as in rootbear)

afterten

10-31-2004, 09:02 PM

Q. whats orange and blue and at the bottom of a swimming pool?
A. a baby with broken water-wings.

Q. how many dead babies does it take to paint a house?
A. depends how hard you throw them.

rohan

10-31-2004, 09:29 PM

Its time to balance out the racist jokes i found some white ones hehehehehehe B)

How does a White racist pick his nose?
From a mail-order catalogue.

What is the title of the White racist's favorite how-to-book?
"How to Steal, Rape and Murder".

thats all i got :(

PANIC!FUP_MORE...

10-31-2004, 09:35 PM

Originally posted by afterten@Oct 31 2004, 11:13 AM
whats worse than 10 dead babies nailed to one tree?

1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

thats right, I went there.
lmfao
(laughing my fat ass off.)

seckzoner

10-31-2004, 10:18 PM

What is the title of the White racist's favorite how-to-book?
"How to Steal, Rape and Murder".

this is my verson
What is the title of the White racist's favorite how-to-book?
"How to Steal, Rape and Murder...oh and how to do graffiti tagging".

SL!P

11-01-2004, 12:51 AM

Im new to this forum thing, but lets give it a go shall we?...

Q: What do women and a hurricane have in common?

A: They both come on wet and wild, but when they leave they take your house and your car with them!!!

P.S.: For all of you that havent seen "Traffic" (where i got the joke) i advise you to see it A.S.A.P.!!!

SL!P

11-01-2004, 01:15 AM

I got another one for y'all...

Tracy LOVED baked beans, but whenever she ate them the beans seemed to give her a very ill effect. But when the time came that her husband proposed and they would soon be wed, she decided to give up her addiction indefinetly!!!

On her way home from work her car broke down and imagin the irony that she didnt have her cell-phone with her at the time so she decided to walk to the nearest town to use the pay-phone...

Upon her entry into town she recognized a sweet scent comming from the diner just across the street. As she strolled into the diner she asked the clerk, "Excuse me, what is that ever so lovely smell?", the clerk answered, "Were having a special on baked beans this evening. Would you like to have a bowl?". Tracy knew the conciquences of her eating the baked beans but she decided that she was far enough from home that she could calm the ill effect before she got there...

By the time she was done, she had polished off about 3 bowls of baked beans. After she decided that it was time to go and she putt-putted herself all the way home (no relation to the little piggy that went "wee-wee-wee all the way home"...

As she entered the house her husband quickly blindfolded her and strolled her into the dining room where he sat her down at the head of the table. Suddenly the phone rang and he quickly ran into the other room to answer it, before he left he sternly told her to stay put...

By this time the pressure of the beans became unbearable, so she gently eased her weight to one side and let loose the most irrefudable, rotten eggs, sulfer mine, fart possible...

By the time her husband arrived she had fanned the stench away and she was the ideal form of innocence...

When her husband removed the blindfold, much to her horror sat her family and newly found in-laws!!!

Rik JamEs

11-01-2004, 03:19 PM

Q: When is it Michael Jackson's bedtime ?
A: When the big hand touches the little hand

http://www.aftonbladet.se/nyheter/0402/13/NYHETER-13s08-JACKSON-71.jpg

Tony

11-01-2004, 03:24 PM

these last few jokes (accept the last one from rik) were TERRABLE.

Scaf.

11-01-2004, 03:28 PM

what does PONTIAC stand for?
Poor Old ******s Thinking Its A Cadillac.

Tony

11-01-2004, 03:36 PM

stolen off ebaums

Two male buddies were walking through the woods when out of no where, a poisonous snake came and bit one of the men in the penis! The man collapsed to the ground while his friend ran to town to get help. The man arrived at a doctor's office and said help, help, my friend was bit by a snake in the penis. The doctor remarked that he couldn't get all his tools to the woods in time to save the friend, so he told him that he would have to suck the venom out of his friend! There has got to be another way said the man and the doctor sighed no I am sorry! The man ran back to the woods and found his poor friends lying on the floor in allot of pain! The man on the floor cried, what did the doctor say? The friend said, he said you're going to die.

A man's wife asks him to go to the store to buy some cigarettes. So he walks down to the store only to find it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her. They have a couple of beers and one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment.

After they've had their fun, he realizes its 3AM and says, "Oh no, its so late, my wife's going to kill me.
Have you got any talcum powder?" She gives him some talcum powder, which he proceeds to rub on his hands and then he goes home. His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she is pretty pissed.

"Where the hell have you been?!"
"Well, honey, it's like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking chick there and we had a few drinks and one thing led to another and I ended up in bed with her."
"Oh yeah? Let me see your hands!"

She sees his hands are covered with powder and... "You God damn liar!! You went bowling again!!"

BiggestToy

11-01-2004, 03:43 PM

Tony the tiger and his art is the biggest joke ive ever seen!!

aCId II nz

11-01-2004, 04:28 PM

Originally posted by BiggestToy@Nov 1 2004, 03:43 PM
Tony the tiger and his art is the biggest joke ive ever seen!!
and yr the stupidist mother fucka ive evea herd of tell a joke or fuck off

MoNkEy

11-01-2004, 04:28 PM

ave it ^^

MyTagsASpanishWord

11-01-2004, 04:33 PM

why did the tree go to wisconsin?

CAUSE HE HAD TO LEAF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!

HAHAHAH IM SO FUNNNY I HTINK IM SO HARD LAUGHING ITS RIDICULOUS HAHAHTREE LEAF GET IT BAH+FHAFHADFOSDFSOGXLCVXBVODFOIgjLDSNGLFDNVXNCVOUI SNDUIOFsdIGNDBKJNcbknclxzbnoiPFGDFOGPJ DFOIGFD

SYSTEM SHUT DOWN

aCId II nz

11-01-2004, 04:48 PM

WTF :huh:

whOaHT

11-03-2004, 08:50 PM

i already shared that PONTIAC joke Scaf. ;)

What did the blind man say to the blind lady?

Hey long time no see

B)

Oh yes, nothin better then some good ol blind jokes to top off a good evening

OH Almost forgot, the BIGGEST joke of all!

George W Bush re-elected in 2004!

Asshat

11-03-2004, 08:57 PM

I MUST try this. Go up to a person with one or no arms and just start clapping.

So cruel. ;)

whOaHT

11-03-2004, 09:01 PM

loll you sick bastard i love ya :lol:

or go to a blind man and ask em for the time
or go to a def guy and ask if he heard who won the football game
or go to a guy with a deformed hand and say
''buddy, need a hand''

:lol:

HELL HERE I COME

GeSuS_KRiST

11-03-2004, 09:11 PM

personally i like to walk up to cripled people and call them crazy legs or speedy ask them if they want to break dance battle and if they make a rude comment ill jsut say fine ill be the bigger man and just walk away ....sorry i had to throw in on the asshole comments

Asshat

11-03-2004, 09:35 PM

Scary Movie 2...

Hahahahahaha.

Unless you thought of that yourself, I'm not gonna argue it, because I've made shit up before, and it turns out it was in a movie, and they'll be like HEY YOU GOT THAT FROM THAT MOVIE. Then I have to argue with them.

Bitches.

DNA

11-03-2004, 09:48 PM

Originally posted by whOaHT@Nov 3 2004, 09:01 PM
loll you sick bastard i love ya :lol:

or go to a blind man and ask em for the time
or go to a def guy and ask if he heard who won the football game
or go to a guy with a deformed hand and say
''buddy, need a hand''

:lol:

HELL HERE I COME
wtf. a deaf guy cant hear u asking who won the foot ball game.dumbass

ok so here is a joke this kid told me yesturday.

a vampire walks into a bar and asks for a cup of blood.
so the bartender gives him the cup of blood and he goes and sits at a table.

a second vampire walks into a bar and asks for a cup of blood.
so the bartender gives him the cup of blood and he goes and sits at a table.

a third vampire walks into a bar and asks for a cup of really hot.
so the bartender asks why he wants water and not blood.
so the vampire pulls out a couple of used tampons and says "TEA"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!

jade

11-03-2004, 10:03 PM

wud the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire........

see u next month!

DNA

11-03-2004, 10:18 PM

shut up, u killed it

GeSuS_KRiST

11-03-2004, 10:28 PM

Originally posted by Asshat@Nov 3 2004, 09:35 PM
Scary Movie 2...

Hahahahahaha.

Unless you thought of that yourself, I'm not gonna argue it, because I've made shit up before, and it turns out it was in a movie, and they'll be like HEY YOU GOT THAT FROM THAT MOVIE. Then I have to argue with them.

Bitches.
yea i was ina wheel chair for about 5 months i got alot and made alot fo those joke

Tony

11-03-2004, 10:36 PM

my google search for "jesus in a wheel chair" turned this up:

http://fusionanomaly.net/jesuslizardwheelchairepidemic.jpg

GeSuS_KRiST

11-03-2004, 10:43 PM

HAHAHA thats awesome

joust

11-03-2004, 10:53 PM

shiza hahahahahaha

LIL.RED.RIDE.WOOD

11-05-2004, 07:44 PM

Originally posted by Tony@Nov 3 2004, 10:36 PM
my google search for "jesus in a wheel chair" turned this up:

http://fusionanomaly.net/jesuslizardwheelchairepidemic.jpg
*BUMP*
Gesus were u live got a gurl?

sika_2002

11-05-2004, 07:45 PM

haha, thats sweet

LIL.RED.RIDE.WOOD

11-05-2004, 07:53 PM

Originally posted by Tony@Nov 3 2004, 10:36 PM
my google search for "jesus in a wheel chair" turned this up:

http://fusionanomaly.net/jesuslizardwheelchairepidemic.jpg
wish i was her *sigh*...........sika r u a gurl?

Tony

11-05-2004, 08:06 PM

Originally posted by LIL.RED.RIDE.WOOD+Nov 5 2004, 05:53 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (LIL.RED.RIDE.WOOD @ Nov 5 2004, 05:53 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Tony@Nov 3 2004, 10:36 PM
my google search for "jesus in a wheel chair" turned this up:

http://fusionanomaly.net/jesuslizardwheelchairepidemic.jpg
wish i was her *sigh* [/b][/quote]
god someone needs to get laid.

LIL.RED.RIDE.WOOD

11-05-2004, 08:17 PM

no i just want gesus's wide ______ in my ______every night..............

are u fucin blive me muahhahahhahhahhahahhaah...... :wub:

na i just think gesus is hot with his dreads and his gurly face

xylene hug

11-06-2004, 03:19 AM

^^^

OMG you had sex for money?!?!?!
we're like twins!!! :lol:

xylene hug

11-06-2004, 03:20 AM

^^^

OMG you had sex for money?!?!?!
we're like twins!!! :lol:

wrong thread!!!!! but still!!!!!!

rohan

11-06-2004, 05:06 AM

Originally posted by Tony@Nov 3 2004, 10:36 PM
my google search for "jesus in a wheel chair" turned this up:

http://fusionanomaly.net/jesuslizardwheelchairepidemic.jpg
since wen was gesus a girl

DNA

11-06-2004, 12:39 PM

Originally posted by LIL.RED.RIDE.WOOD@Nov 5 2004, 08:17 PM
no i just want gesus's wide ______ in my ______every night..............

are u fucin blive me muahhahahhahhahhahahhaah...... :wub:

na i just think gesus is hot with his dreads and his gurly face
r u a chick??

LIL.RED.RIDE.WOOD

11-06-2004, 06:38 PM

yes, duhhhh!

sika_2002

11-07-2004, 11:28 AM

Originally posted by LIL.RED.RIDE.WOOD@Nov 5 2004, 07:53 PM
sika r u a gurl?
nope, male all the way. sorry to dissapoint ya

Asshat

11-07-2004, 12:02 PM

This whole thread is starting to confuse me.

SL!P

11-07-2004, 01:59 PM

Originally posted by DNA+Nov 6 2004, 12:39 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (DNA @ Nov 6 2004, 12:39 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-LIL.RED.RIDE.WOOD@Nov 5 2004, 08:17 PM
no i just want gesus's wide ______ in my ______every night..............

are u fucin blive me muahhahahhahhahhahahhaah...... :wub:

na i just think gesus is hot with his dreads and his gurly face
r u a chick?? [/b][/quote]
We can only hope..., if not, some therapy and a pint of raw ether can cure that!!!

P.S.: Also, last time a checked if you wanted someone with dreads and a "gurly" face, why not just like another chick???

whOaHT

11-07-2004, 05:39 PM

This thread is goin to the dumps, lets save it!

Q-Why doesnt jesus play hockey?
A-Cause he keeps on gettin nailed to the boards

Q-Why do mexicans have big noses?
A-Because they'll have something to pick in the winter

Only in America......can a pizza get to your
house faster than an ambulance.

Only in America......are there handicap parking
places in front of a skating rink.

Only in America......do drugstores make the sick
walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while
healthy people can buy cigarettes and candy up front.

Only in America......do people order double
cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America......do banks leave both doors
open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America......do we leave cars worth
thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America......do we use answering machines
to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from
someone we didn't want to
talk to in the first place.

Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in
packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America......do we use the word
'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics'
meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM
machines with Braillelettering.

EVER WONDER Why the sun lightens our hair, but
darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth
closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and
dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a
broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic
called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests
it?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal
injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used
on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why are they called apartments when they are all
stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport
the terminal?

mad

11-07-2004, 07:38 PM

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
<_<

and im done for tonight
till tommorw

whOaHT

11-07-2004, 07:46 PM

why so sarcastic
WHY
cya tommorrow ya bum :P

joust

11-07-2004, 10:57 PM

some of that shit doesent work. Sunlight one is science if forget exactally what something to do with diffrent pigments. The black box material is extremly heavy, the plain couldent lift off the ground. Rush hour because everyones rushing to get home.

bruce

11-07-2004, 11:07 PM

Originally posted by joust@Nov 7 2004, 10:57 PM
some of that shit doesent work. Sunlight one is science if forget exactally what something to do with diffrent pigments. The black box material is extremly heavy, the plain couldent lift off the ground. Rush hour because everyones rushing to get home.
the hell? yor analyzing jokes with science? yor that one kid who always ruins a good joke .

GeSuS_KRiST

11-07-2004, 11:08 PM

SL!P

11-08-2004, 02:46 AM

Originally posted by GeSuS_KRiST+Nov 7 2004, 11:08 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (GeSuS_KRiST @ Nov 7 2004, 11:08 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-LIL.RED.RIDE.WOOD@Nov 5 2004, 08:17 PM
no i just want gesus's wide ______ in my ______every night..............

are u fucin blive me muahhahahhahhahhahahhaah...... :wub:

na i just think gesus is hot with his dreads and his gurly face
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: oh man thats funny

and sL!P if u want to fuckin talk shit shut up and battle me [/b][/quote]
Actually to be quite honest, the chick was talkin more shit than i was... On a further note i wasnt talkin shit about you, i was making a mockery of what LIL said...

Sorry for the confusion...

If i were you, ide be more offended by the "gurly face" comment, but then again thats just me...

GeSuS_KRiST

11-08-2004, 02:49 AM

oh i took it as u were talkin shit about me but she aint even seen my face theres only one girl on this site that and i doubt its her sorry man im goin thought alot of drama right now i was tried to be set up by what i thought was a goodfriend and the feds along with relationship problem doesnt make to well

SL!P

11-08-2004, 02:53 AM

Originally posted by GeSuS_KRiST@Nov 8 2004, 02:49 AM
oh i took it as u were talkin shit about me but she aint even seen my face theres only one girl on this site that and i doubt its her sorry man im goin thought alot of drama right now i was tried to be set up by what i thought was a goodfriend and the feds along with relationship problem doesnt make to well
Well the heat isnt on my ass but i got alot of the same shit goin on... Lifes a bitch and then you die, thats my motto...

Glad to clear up the misunderstanding...

GeSuS_KRiST

11-08-2004, 03:01 AM

no problem but yea

how much is it for a pirate to buy corn?
a buckanear

whOaHT

11-08-2004, 07:37 AM

Originally posted by bruce+Nov 7 2004, 11:07 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (bruce @ Nov 7 2004, 11:07 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-joust@Nov 7 2004, 10:57 PM
some of that shit doesent work. Sunlight one is science if forget exactally what something to do with diffrent pigments. The black box material is extremly heavy, the plain couldent lift off the ground. Rush hour because everyones rushing to get home.
the hell? yor analyzing jokes with science? yor that one kid who always ruins a good joke . [/b][/quote]
for real!

Atom

11-08-2004, 01:21 PM

q:What does nike and the kkk have in common?

a:They Both Make Black people run faster

sika_2002

11-08-2004, 02:25 PM

that shit was fucking good,

GeSuS_KRiST

11-08-2004, 02:35 PM

whats the diffrence between batman and a blackman?

bat man can go out at night without robbin

Kayone707

11-08-2004, 04:00 PM

Originally posted by GeSuS_KRiST@Nov 8 2004, 12:35 PM
whats the diffrence between batman and a blackman?

bat man can go out at night without robbin
hahaa. hella good. i havent heard it before

Tony

11-27-2004, 04:12 PM

how many IBM engineers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

none, they merely change the standard to darkness and upgrade the customers

how many feminists does it take to chnage a lightbulb?

16, one to change it and 15 to form a support group

how many computer programers does it take to change a lightbulb?

none, thats a hardwear problem.

how many telemarketers does it take to change a lightbulb?

just one, but she has to do it wile you're eating dinner.

how many existentialists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

two, one to screw it in, and one to observe how the lightbulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.

Wakestarr

11-27-2004, 04:15 PM

What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe

Fur Traders

:D

DOUK or DIE

11-27-2004, 04:45 PM

how many babies does it take to paint a house

...depends how hard you throw them ... hahahhahahha wait thats not funny thats just fucked up

aCId II nz

11-27-2004, 06:32 PM

wake, i dont get it?

whOaHT

11-27-2004, 06:45 PM

what do lesbians do when they have their periods?
They finger paint

i got nothing :( my memory is on stand by until i get more beer to reload the database

translation
i need a fuckin beer

esaem

11-28-2004, 02:55 AM

What do you call a mexican with a rubber toe? Roberto

A panda walks into a restauarant and orders some food. After he's finished, he pulls out an AK and blasts every body and walks out. Then someone asks him "why did you do that?" he said look up Panda in the dictionary..so he did.. "Panda - Eats chutes and leaves"

3DCulprit

11-28-2004, 08:15 AM

I am sorry to inform you but saying your NOT racist and then writing a fuckin 11 page thread of racist jokes is fuckin dispicable, the fact that the webmaster has actually allowed it to go this far is fuckin unreal, i joined up last night but fuck it, i aint down with racist bastards.

scarface

11-28-2004, 08:54 AM

what do u call a asian lesbian 'minge-eater'

scarface

11-28-2004, 09:04 AM

a paki goes into a shop and says 'i need some toilet paper' 'well' the shop owner says'we have super delux for £1.50 delux for£1 and some really cheap no-name stuff 8 rolls for 50p' so the paki says i will ave the 8 rolls the next day he comes back and the owner says 'how did you find that toilet paper' the paki says 'it was crap but i have thought ov a name for it' 'John Wayne' 'why that name?' the owner says 'BECAUSE IT DONT TAKE NO SHIT FROM INDIANS'

SBQ-PK

11-28-2004, 10:42 AM

Originally posted by 3DCulprit@Nov 28 2004, 08:15 AM
HOLD THE PHONE !!!

I am sorry to inform you but saying your NOT racist and then writing a fuckin 11 page thread of racist jokes is fuckin dispicable, the fact that the webmaster has actually allowed it to go this far is fuckin unreal, i joined up last night but fuck it, i aint down with racist bastards.

when you say your not racist, do you say to yourself

" i dont carry out racist attacks " " i dont use the word, N*gg*r".

Your all fuckin racist for continuing to add fuckin jokes, do you not understand the fuckin torture people of african culture suffered throughout history.

Your in a graffiti forum, which i am sure has a Hip Hop vibe too it and your making the Canadian US scene look like a bunch of racist fuckwits, you should all be ashamed of yourselves.

12 pages of n*gg*r jokes by black people i can read, but 11 pages of probably spanish, white canadians make me sick !

This thread will be posted on US Hip Hop sites throughout the USA and Europe entitled "Canadian Graffiti artsists Racism Shocker "

I will be contacting the Editor of the site too and remember as much backlash you give me, you aint seen nothing in comparison to the amount of backlash this site is going to get !

Reply as much as you want with your shitty remarks, i dont care, its fuckin racist !
BEST. JOKE. EVER. :lol: :lol:

Cherubic Meekus

11-28-2004, 11:53 AM

why has noddy got a bell on his hat? coz he's a cunt

How do you impregnate a witch? Fuck her

Two sheep in a field, one turns to the other and says ''Isn't it your barmitzvah today?,'' he replies with ''nah''

How do yu invite a mouse to a birthday party ?
''Do you wanna come to my birthday party?,''

Car2nist

11-28-2004, 12:17 PM

wow meekus, that was horrible...

and 3D, yours and the dead fetus ones made me laugh the most :X

Cherubic Meekus

11-28-2004, 12:19 PM

horrible? in what sense...................they were shit but don't think horrible was the correct term.

scarface

11-28-2004, 02:21 PM

whats red and slides down trees?

a monkeys miscarrage

Tony

11-28-2004, 02:31 PM

Originally posted by 3DCulprit@Nov 28 2004, 06:15 AM
12 pages of n*gg*r jokes by black people i can read, but 11 pages of probably spanish, white canadians make me sick !
why should only black people be allowed to make black jokes?

sounds like you're the racist one.

glue

11-28-2004, 02:56 PM

Originally posted by SBQ-PK+Nov 28 2004, 10:42 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (SBQ-PK @ Nov 28 2004, 10:42 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-3DCulprit@Nov 28 2004, 08:15 AM
HOLD THE PHONE !!!

I am sorry to inform you but saying your NOT racist and then writing a fuckin 11 page thread of racist jokes is fuckin dispicable, the fact that the webmaster has actually allowed it to go this far is fuckin unreal, i joined up last night but fuck it, i aint down with racist bastards.

when you say your not racist, do you say to yourself

" i dont carry out racist attacks " " i dont use the word, N*gg*r".

Your all fuckin racist for continuing to add fuckin jokes, do you not understand the fuckin torture people of african culture suffered throughout history.

Your in a graffiti forum, which i am sure has a Hip Hop vibe too it and your making the Canadian US scene look like a bunch of racist fuckwits, you should all be ashamed of yourselves.

12 pages of n*gg*r jokes by black people i can read, but 11 pages of probably spanish, white canadians make me sick !

This thread will be posted on US Hip Hop sites throughout the USA and Europe entitled "Canadian Graffiti artsists Racism Shocker "

I will be contacting the Editor of the site too and remember as much backlash you give me, you aint seen nothing in comparison to the amount of backlash this site is going to get !

Reply as much as you want with your shitty remarks, i dont care, its fuckin racist !
BEST. JOKE. EVER. :lol: :lol: [/b][/quote]
lol. racist jokes are stupid and all but what you said takes the cake. hahahahah meekus is the king like whoa, surprisingly hes the only one that made me laugh.

esaem

11-28-2004, 03:15 PM

What you call a buncha black kids playin in tha leaves? Raisen Bran.

By the way you fuckin homolordic fack, I've told this joke to many-a-nigg, and they don't cry about their ancestors. pussy.

aCId II nz

11-28-2004, 03:29 PM

yo mutha fucker my thread,fuck of,cos it sounds liek u need a slapin.......!!!!u lil bitch
and im not white or latino for the books......stupid lil bitch now go fuck ur mum lil boy

Shyd...

11-28-2004, 03:50 PM

Whats worse than hearing you have V.D. ?

Hearing it from your dentist.

Whats the difference between a bucket of sand and a bucket of menstrual(sp) blood?

You can't gargle sand.

3DCulprit

11-28-2004, 03:59 PM

rasist comments on a hip hop site ?

someone please let me know the explanation for that, i aint a kid by the way and as for you with the i need a slap comment, boy i would love to give you the oppurtunity mate, maybe

RACISTS !

Qoute " i aint a racist, but "

fuckin clowns !

anyone who is about to respond AND take the side of someone who made a racist comment, dont bother your as bad as them !

Racism on a hip hop site, that is a first !

3DCulprit

11-28-2004, 04:05 PM

hey tony

i am using the reference to shit like watching CHRIS ROCK "live", he refers to black street punks as N*gg*rs, so for me it aint used in a racist term but white people on a hip hop site is fuckin racist, you shud be ashamed of yourself, dont even try to explain to me blah blah blah your all FUCKIN RACIST !

aCId II nz

11-28-2004, 04:07 PM

^fuck u go to hell

haha fuck i aint white and have u herd of edit

3DCulprit

11-28-2004, 04:10 PM

Known in the UK as

"RACIST KEYBOARD COWARDS !!!!!!"

hiding behind keyboards like big fuckin rank pussies !!!!

Kayone707

11-28-2004, 04:16 PM

shut up you fag.^.......

UK? you white piece of shit, hows that for a joke? damn euro trash with teeth that go in 20 diffenent angles.... everyone knows that Euro people have the worst teeth............. haha

aCId II nz

11-28-2004, 04:28 PM

yea u tell em kay can we get this fag banned?

3DCulprit

11-28-2004, 04:32 PM

ok so you all stick together, thats cool a bunch of racists, gonna have a decnt chat here i guess. i am going to keep this thread going so people i inform can see the argument develop, having pictures of black icons on your name and telling racist jokes, man you have opened a new book when it comes to fuckin dickweeds,
RACIST KEYBOARD PUSSIES !

is their not even one person on this site who agrees with me that this thread is racist as fuck and totally out of order, where is the humour in these jokes ?

educate me !

3DCulprit

11-28-2004, 04:34 PM

dont worry mate flow and misfit have been informed of all these racist comments, we shall see who gets banned !

my website is linked to this site !

if i get banned then the shit hits the fan. !

FOEone

11-28-2004, 04:42 PM

lol i like how he didnt inform me. i dont give a rat's ass. this is the jokes thread, it's all in good fun.

Car2nist

11-28-2004, 04:47 PM

3d... DO YOU MIND IF I CALL YOU A ******? CAUSE I LOVE YOU YOU ****** YOU! ;D

3DCulprit

11-28-2004, 04:49 PM

foe one if u have anything to do with this site and your saying that, then i dont understand it at all. i dont give a rats arse might sound cool to a lot of people on here but allowing racist comments on a hip hop forum is not funny, forget all the hype and the badass image your trying to uphold think about the people of colour coming onto here checking out canada's graff scene !

http://www.urbandamage.com

FOEone

11-28-2004, 04:50 PM

im not here to pander to each person's individual opinion. yes, we do try to moderate this board and keep it relatively inoffensive, but that's where the line is blurred between freedom of speech and what's objectionable online.

3DCulprit

11-28-2004, 04:53 PM

Foe one i have been in touch with the owners of bombing science, i write for HHC the big hip hop magazine in europe, its like The Source from europe, i am going to inform the people at bombing science about your comments and the comments made here then if its not withdrawn i will feature the web address www.bombingscience.com as a racist website affiliated with Hip Hop in Canada !
I am sure they will love the exposure !

aCId II nz

11-28-2004, 04:55 PM

man 3d if i ever saw u i wud fuckin kill u SHUT THE FUCK UP

Car2nist

11-28-2004, 04:57 PM

3D... im sure you'll love my cock in your mouth, whatever it takes for you to SHUT THE FUCK UP, WE DONT CARE... THEY'RE JOKES Racism set aside, i have more black friends then there are black people in your fucking country, you're a little bitch

3DCulprit

11-28-2004, 04:57 PM

racist prick !!!

keyboard pussy !

3DCulprit

11-28-2004, 04:58 PM

BUNCH OF RACIST FUCKERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kayone707

11-28-2004, 04:58 PM

go to anyother site that has "jokes" your gonna find "racist jokes" there also.... and unlike some of these people, i am colored, so i can say comments... you fucking cracker.

FOEone

11-28-2004, 04:59 PM

Originally posted by 3DCulprit@Nov 28 2004, 04:53 PM
Foe one i have been in touch with the owners of bombing science, i write for HHC the big hip hop magazine in europe, its like The Source from europe, i am going to inform the people at bombing science about your comments and the comments made here then if its not withdrawn i will feature the web address www.bombingscience.com as a racist website affiliated with Hip Hop in Canada !
I am sure they will love the exposure !
Don't you dare threaten me. I can't speak for bombingscience or the other members of the board, but I stand by my original comments. I am not a racist. In fact, I'm quite anti-racist, but I can't stop other people from feeling the way they do.

KARE 2 ELABERATE

11-28-2004, 04:59 PM

jokes dont represent canadas graff sceen fool!!, and even still the acts of few dont represent the mass's......

they are ment to make people laugh, not ment to hurt anyone

and concidering your not even BLACK maybe u should shut the fuck up and let the accual race in question decide if its offending or not. If they infact are offended, then theres a problem

but since your a white guy offended by black jokes... i dunno maybe u need theropy or sum shit

Car2nist

11-28-2004, 04:59 PM

AND IM BLACK FROM THE WAIST DOWN... so go back to your "HARD HARD COCKS... i mean hhc"

Kayone707

11-28-2004, 05:00 PM

i bet its freggin Meekus.... or does every euro person talk like that?! :o

SBQ-PK

11-28-2004, 05:03 PM

lol the best jokes are the rascist ones usually

3DCulprit

11-28-2004, 05:07 PM

yeah yeah yeah ! fun fun fun go back and have a look at some of the jokes.

just before you start spitting your dummy out again think about the argument, your telling me that you have black friends who would appreciate some of the jokes on here, whats going on Canada ? its the type of shit we see on racist websites, you cant sit there and justify that i am totally wrong, whoever monitors and is in control of this forum should delete this thread of jokes.

here is a question for yall?

what happens if a black person comes on here and is offended, are you going to say sorry ?

whats the backlash gonne be to them,

sorry we see it as a joke cause we're white and fuckin retard !

sort it out !

Tony

11-28-2004, 05:09 PM

Originally posted by 3DCulprit@Nov 28 2004, 02:05 PM
hey tony

i am using the reference to shit like watching CHRIS ROCK "live", he refers to black street punks as N*gg*rs, so for me it aint used in a racist term but white people on a hip hop site is fuckin racist, you shud be ashamed of yourself, dont even try to explain to me blah blah blah your all FUCKIN RACIST !
sorry ******, i guess you have what we call a "double standard" then. and does chris rock not call white poeple "crackers" to? i belive that is a racist comment.

Car2nist

11-28-2004, 05:09 PM

some of them are from black people...

im from the states, not canada, and me and my black friends trade off racial slurs because were not close minded fucks like you... i have nothing against europeans, but your a piece of euro trash

Kayone707

11-28-2004, 05:10 PM

Originally posted by 3DCulprit@Nov 28 2004, 03:07 PM

sorry we see it as a joke cause we're white and fuckin retard !

sort it out !
im not white... i find em funny!......

and not everyone that posts on here is from canada

Tony

11-28-2004, 05:11 PM

i got a funny one

how do you keep a european from drowning?

take your foot off his head.

3DCulprit

11-28-2004, 05:13 PM

hey tony heres one even funnier

Yo Momma ! lol

3DCulprit

11-28-2004, 05:14 PM

anyweay i am signing out for the last time

enjoy your lives u heartless racist bastards !!!!!!!

Car2nist

11-28-2004, 05:15 PM

no wonder you hate the jokes, lol, yours arent funny :X

KARE 2 ELABERATE

11-28-2004, 05:16 PM

i would say sorry...... but most people down here arnt offended that easily

there not uptight euro fags who tryin to do they fuckin good deed for the day!

Tony

11-28-2004, 05:21 PM

Originally posted by 3DCulprit@Nov 28 2004, 03:13 PM
hey tony heres one even funnier

Yo Momma ! lol
OH SHIT! PWNED!

:lol:

yo mama is so old she knew the burger king back when he was a prince.

whOaHT

11-28-2004, 06:30 PM

:lol:
tony just brought you to schooooooooooooool

mad

11-28-2004, 06:53 PM

yo 3d your a dork

go brush ur teeth you eruo trash peice of shit

whOaHT

11-28-2004, 07:05 PM

sup with the euro bashing lol
damn this site gets lame n lamer

3DCulprit

11-28-2004, 08:53 PM

there all just racist fools, anti black and anti european !

sad state of affairs but i said it before and i will say it again

keyboard pussies !

blah blah blah !!! europe this, n*gg*r that, blah blah blah !!

all ganging up on an anti racist disgusted by comments hidden behind the word JOKE.

Racist Racist Racist !

surely there is someone in Canada appauled by this behaviour !

esaem

11-28-2004, 08:59 PM

Hey, fuckin 3d.. I wouldn't give a fuck if a black dude cracked a white joke on here, it's all fun and games ya fuckin nagger get outta here.

If you're against racism then why are you seperating blacks from whites? there should be no difference if there's a black joke since if we're equal, its against whites too.

butt burglar..

3DCulprit

11-28-2004, 09:11 PM

yeah go and tell ya jokes to a gang of black youths and see where your wearing your asshole, keyboard racists- ha ha real hardcore pussies, lol !!!

the amount of dummies spat out in this forum is funny, blah blah blah !

racists !!!

GeSuS_KRiST

11-28-2004, 09:26 PM

...... shut up quit running this thread....... fucker

hey i got a joke ....3DCulprit

3DCulprit

11-28-2004, 09:31 PM

god i bet your a barrel of laughs to hang out with dickweed, anyway that clown out of the way, can someone tell me what is funny about the following jokes.

they are taken from the 1st few pages, to those of you who said your black friends would find these funny bring them here now and show them again.

what is the difference between a jew and a pizza?...
my pizzas don't scream when i put them in the oven

how many black people does it take to single a roof?
3 if you slice em real thin

what do apples and black people have in common?....they both hang from trees

whats the difference between a snow tire and a ******?
a snow tire doesnt sing when you put chains on it

i am sorry but them jokes are racist ! anyone who cant see that is a coward !

c'mon there has to be one fuckin racist clown on here with brains, explain !

whOaHT

11-28-2004, 09:34 PM

Originally posted by 3DCulprit@Nov 28 2004, 09:31 PM
what do apples and black people have in common?....they both hang from trees

whats the difference between a snow tire and a ******?
a snow tire doesnt sing when you put chains on it

:lol:

im not racist for 10cents but i had to chuckle when i read these 2

why do black jews have it so hard?
They have to sit in the back of the oven

mad

11-28-2004, 09:36 PM

do you see racism in any other threads 3D?

this is a joke thread, where people joke so stop whinning like a bitch

GeSuS_KRiST

11-28-2004, 09:39 PM

i fuckin hate kids like him who cant take a fucking joke..... even tho all i did was adda page or 2 or pedo and dead baby jokes

Logik

11-28-2004, 09:40 PM

Joke: Women's Rights.

KARE 2 ELABERATE

11-28-2004, 09:46 PM

Culprit, i have told a black friend of mine SO many damn black jokes, and quite honostly, he finds most of them funnier then i do

cause he knows i dont hate him, or truely mean any thing said, i hear jokes... and i repeat them for the cause of laughter, simple as that. A JOKE IS NOT MENT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY

like if i said "what do apples and black people have in common?....they both hang from trees "....... that doesnt mean i want anyone hanging from a fucking tree!

So if any people of colour are offended by this thread, let them say so, they dont need some fucking douche bag like you fighting for them..... as capable human beings, IM SURE THEY CAN HANDLE IT

Logik

11-28-2004, 09:50 PM

That apple one is good.

Dydak

11-28-2004, 10:30 PM

Notice how 3Dicks said" got tell your joke to a gang of black youths" wtf you stereotyping blacks, that they have to be a "gang". Im white, and i have alot of black friends and puerto rican friends and jewish friends. When they heard some of these jokes they were on the floor laughing not getting mad tight over some dumbshit.

esaem

11-28-2004, 10:37 PM

Yeah 3d you sterotypical fuckhead sayin' black youth is involved in gangs.

Taste yo own medicine, fucka.

Why are you here calling us "keyboard pussies" when you're makin mo beef than a slaughterhouse...get the fuck outta heah.

if we were havin this conversation fo real i'd grab a keyboard and slap you wit it..is that keyboard pussy? what else you expect us to do niga

GeSuS_KRiST

11-28-2004, 10:51 PM

yea 3d you fuckin stereotypical fuckhead

Adamo

11-28-2004, 11:14 PM

How do you stop a Mexican tank ?
Kill the person pushing it

What do you do when a Mexican throws a grenade at you?
Pick it up, pull the pin and throw it back.

but really...you can replace mexican for a person from any other country in the world and it works just at well

Wakestarr

11-29-2004, 01:20 AM

That 3d guy needs to chill, yes they are rasisct and all that shitt blah blah shut up. I will never say a rasisct joke cause i feel it is rasisct as well. I do agree with you white people shouldn't say those kinda things about black people and what not, and other people shouldn't say shit about jews and shit or whatever the circumstance, the people who say jokes on here know they are not right, but like whats the use telling these people on this forum? there not gonna fuckin listen to some mother fucker calling them cowards? like if you called me a coward would i care? probably not, but i'd be like fuck you, you callin me a coward? then lets fight bitch, you're jus as much a coward as anyone else thats "hiding behind their keyboard" so shut up. And since this is a joke thread i shall contribute. Even tho this joke is degrading to woman and i know its wrong and 3d will prob still get on my ass cause he thinks he knows what other people should think and say but whatever fuck it all, here ya go

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes

Nothing. You already told her twice
B)

Word up

3DCulprit

11-29-2004, 07:00 AM

i mentioned for you to go and say it to a gang of black youth because most of the pussies on here would only talk via keyboard or to a bunch of old ladies whilst driving by in daddys car.

the reason all of you guys are trying to defend each other goes to show what a stoopid bunch of racist fuckwits you really are. No matter what you say in regards to keyboard abuse it is in one eye and out the other, i will make sure your racist bastard threads will be removed or kept at the top for all to see.

before you write any form of abuse remember your a racist bastard !!!!

wakestarr thanks for slight support my way at least someone in here has a fuckin mind of their own !

c'mon racists give it ya best shot !!!!

Hide behind your keyboard pussy !!!!

for those who would like to take the challenge to a phone call then my number is

00441612261223

lets get this sorted out !!!

3DCulprit

11-29-2004, 07:09 AM

in the uk we have the big nazi groups like the BNP which is like the KKK which is growing by the day, in the 70's and 80's they petrol bombed and attacked and killed families of colour, this is still happening to this day.
in the USA there has been 100's and 1000's of african americans killed along with native american indians

yet a bunch of canadian white kids can just jump on mommys computer and start making fun out of it, until something happens to you or your family you will learn.

as for 3D needs to chill out, i have been a graffiti artist for 20 years and have travelled and painted worldwide. i have seeen gangs of nazi's stabbing and beating people against nazism, you bunch of fuckwits are all ok your sat comfortable in mommys big piss flap chair typing your obscenities !

i am still giggling at the opening words " i am not racist but.... "

FUCKIN PARASITES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3DCulprit

11-29-2004, 07:12 AM

Originally posted by KARE 2 ELABERATE@Nov 28 2004, 09:46 PM
Culprit, i have told a black friend of mine SO many damn black jokes, and quite honostly, he finds most of them funnier then i do

cause he knows i dont hate him, or truely mean any thing said, i hear jokes... and i repeat them for the cause of laughter, simple as that. A JOKE IS NOT MENT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY

like if i said "what do apples and black people have in common?....they both hang from trees "....... that doesnt mean i want anyone hanging from a fucking tree!

So if any people of colour are offended by this thread, let them say so, they dont need some fucking douche bag like you fighting for them..... as capable human beings, IM SURE THEY CAN HANDLE IT

NOW THIS IS WHAT I MEAN BY a STOOPID FUCKIN CANADIAN !

about as much culture as a fuckin ashtray !

you lot just dont understand do you !

glue

11-29-2004, 07:58 AM

are you that stupid? i am opposed to racist jokes there not necessary and nobody should be saying them on a canadian hip hop site... nobody should be saying that anywhere. i dont find those jokes funny. i agree with you on some notes, but i mean stereotyping canadian as all being white racists? your a fucking racist joke buddy. im white i live in toronto, we have a very multi cultural city im sure its more multi cutural thjan the uk. now i guess you dont watch much black comedy do you? alot of black comedy is about white people, thjey can say any racist joke and not be labeled a racist, but they also make alot of black jokes, kind ofm like the ones on this site. i have never taken offence to these jokes, because there jokes and i can deal with it. everyone says that whites are the only racist out there... what a joke, i have tamil friends whos moms dont want them hanging out with me because they think im gonna get them into drugs, when i dont do drugs. now i can say there are some racist though i have an indian friend and his mom was visiting here and toronto and a group of white people in a car drove by and said "packies go home" that is rediculous its not just racist but its fuels hate towards white people i mean his grandma must like white people alot now huh? but its not fair for anyone to go around saying "ohh fucking racist white canadians" bacuse of that, that gruop of poeple were racist but that doesnt mjean that all of canadians are. sometimes i wish i could be any other race in school you never hear a "******" joke its mostly white jokes because my school has almost no white peopel what can i say back? nothing because if i do im racist? but then again i dont really take offence because there not saying there going to kill me like some nazi fags, but than again neither are the poeple on this site.
its funny you point out canadians on this site, this is a canadain site but alot of the poeple on this site are from the usa.
so i think the racist jokes should stop, but you should stop stereotyping canadians into a racist white categorie, its rediculous not all canadians are white, white people are not native to canada anyways. your a closed minded fucking racist yourself.