July 4th: Declaration of Talitha Day!

[Vagrant]

Nah, I have better points to make, but don't want to ruin it.

[iselldope]

what arguments do you have? i'm kinda intrested:eek:
pm if you don't want to say it in this thread

[Vagrant]

i have one for basically whatever angle she could come at, which means a lot, which means too much to say, which means lets just wait and see if she's brave or a coward

[iselldope]

it's just like a them hardcore-christians are like brainwashed and accept nothing else then what they think is right

and why does that revenerend put TM after every single time he uses the word christian?

[garbage down tha way]

to let you know that christ is trade marked and you heathens arent allowed to use the word until you buy into the religion, perhaps?

[Talitha]

You people are so disgusting!
M'ing is Sinful. It's mass murder.
For every Sperm you spill on the floor you kill a possible Pre-Born infant.

You think Jesus is happy having to get his hands in there sorting through your spilled Seed just to check if there are any souls worth Saving?

Touching yourself is also the Gateway to becoming a Homo. You men should always use Tongs when handling your Choo-choo.

The ™ in True Christian™ is to show that we are the only one's who are truly Saved. Fluffy Bunny fake Christians aren't allowed to use it because they are not True Christians™

[dior]

quoted that hahahaha use tongs kids

[iselldope]

if that's true i'm so gay as a pinguin and i killed like 10000 babies
tonight i jerk-off at a picture of you photo shopped on the body of a she-male

much love
iselldope

[iselldope]

talitha you can't use tm on the masterbation™ cause only we can use that

[CrustOner]

I read the bible passage about "Spilling seed" on Landover not too long ago..

[Talitha]

In Genesis 38 Onan spilled his Seed and look what happened............ God killed him. Dead. :eek:

And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother.
And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.
And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also

[LeaksOne]

You people are so disgusting!
M'ing is Sinful. It's mass murder.
For every Sperm you spill on the floor you kill a possible Pre-Born infant.

You think Jesus is happy having to get his hands in there sorting through your spilled Seed just to check if there are any souls worth Saving?

Touching yourself is also the Gateway to becoming a Homo. You men should always use Tongs when handling your Choo-choo.

The ™ in True Christian™ is to show that we are the only one's who are truly Saved. Fluffy Bunny fake Christians aren't allowed to use it because they are not True Christians™

you may be to busy readin your bible but in human anatomy the actual baby is in the woman. its the egg thats the kid not sperm dumbass. you cant grow from a pile of goo. plus men produce so much sperm that masturbation doesnt do shit to fertility. sorry vagrant i had to bring that point up

[Ume]

if that's true i'm so gay as a pinguin and i killed like 10000 babies


You're either new to masturbating or you have a really low sperm count.

[garbage down tha way]

yeah i mean, just this morning i wiped off millions of potential children into an old pair of socks.

[Mr yarbles]

You people are so disgusting!
M'ing is Sinful. It's mass murder.
For every Sperm you spill on the floor you kill a possible Pre-Born infant.

You think Jesus is happy having to get his hands in there sorting through your spilled Seed just to check if there are any souls worth Saving?

Touching yourself is also the Gateway to becoming a Homo. You men should always use Tongs when handling your Choo-choo.

The ™ in True Christian™ is to show that we are the only one's who are truly Saved. Fluffy Bunny fake Christians aren't allowed to use it because they are not True Christians™

You down if I spill some seed on your face?

[CrustOner]

Plus the fact that only one out of millions of sperm make it into the egg. Does that make it murder during intercourse, anyway?

[Mr yarbles]

I think you're doing it wrong

[dior]

i want to bust on you Talitha may i do so
you can call me any time just pm me for my number

[Vagrant]

You people are so disgusting!
M'ing is Sinful. It's mass murder.
For every Sperm you spill on the floor you kill a possible Pre-Born infant.

You think Jesus is happy having to get his hands in there sorting through your spilled Seed just to check if there are any souls worth Saving?

Welcome back, Talitha! Thank you for responding to my request.
Now, as for our little disagreement here.

Like all Christians, you seem to be highly uneducated when it comes to anything scientific, such as human anatomy and biological reproduction.

The definition of Murder, is as follows:


Murder, as defined in common law (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_law) countries, is the unlawful killing of another human being with intent (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intent)

Thus, according to common law countries, which also include Christian countries, only the killing of an ENTIRE human being is considered murder.
The sperm contained in semen are only individual living cells, no different than any other living cell of a human being, such as skin, saliva, blood, or vaginal discharge.
If you consider the death of sperm cells to be murder, then anyone who sheds living skin cells, spits, bleeds, or women who get their period are also Murderers.
But masturbation is only kills sperm cells. Since you obviously would not have attended any sexual education classes, I now will inform you on what a sperm cell is.



The term sperm is derived from the Greek word (σπέρμα) sperma (meaning "seed") and refers to the male reproductive cells (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cell_%28biology%29). In the types of sexual reproduction (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_reproduction) known as anisogamy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anisogamy) and oogamy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oogamy), there is a marked difference in the size of the gametes (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gamete) with the smaller one being termed the "male" or sperm cell. The human (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human) sperm cell is haploid (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haploid), so that its 23 chromosomes can join the 23 chromosomes of the female egg to form a diploid (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diploid) cell. A uniflagellar sperm cell that is motile (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Motility) is referred to as a spermatozoon (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spermatozoon), whereas a non-motile sperm cell is referred to as a spermatium. Sperm cells cannot divide and have a limited life span, but after fusion with egg cells (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ovum) during fertilization, a totipotent (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Totipotency) zygote (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zygote) is formed with the potential to develop into a new organism.

If you indeed read that definition, instead of closing your eyes, rocking back and forth, and mumbling scripture for 60 seconds, you will find that only AFTER a male sperm cell combines with a female egg cell is it even possible for a new human being to develop.
Souls are not contained in sperm cells, and if you believe in souls, you will know that souls are not born upon conception, nor die upon death.
So therefor the death of a sperm does not kill a soul. Once a new human organism develops after conception, the soul merely occupies that organism until death when it leaves.
If you follow a more scientific and atheist approach, you would believe that souls don't exist, and consciousness only develops after a certain point in the human organisms development, which means there is no soul in a sperm, thus, the death of a sperm is not considered murder of a soul.

But this is just single sperm. What about sperm that are actually ejaculated during sexual intercourse, and find their way to the females egg? What about that one sperm that makes its way into the egg and thus together they conceive the development of a new human organism?
And what if that fertilized egg FAILS to implant in the uterus, but is instead flushed out of the body during the females period?
Most Christians say life starts at conception, which means when a fertilized egg fails to implant, it has been murdered.
The female has no control over the success of the fertilized egg implanting, it just failed to attach to the wall of the uterus, and start developing into a human organism.
This means that any female who has had sex more than one time, but has not gotten pregnant, could be a serial killer.


Furthermore, to quote scripture when it comes to murder (which, oddly, you didn't do):


20:13 Thou shalt not kill - Thou shalt not do any thing hurtful to the health, or life of thy own body, or any other's. This doth not forbid our own necessary defence, or the magistrates putting offenders to death; but it forbids all malice and hatred to any, for he that hateth his brother is a murderer, and all revenge arising therefrom; likewise anger and hurt said or done, or aimed to be done in a passion; of this our Saviour expounds this commandment, Mt 5:22.


ANY HURTFUL action against ones body or another's body is considered murder. This means consuming a poor diet, not exercising, smoking, standing in the sun too long, and trimming your fingernails too short is considered Murder, and anyone who does these things is causing bodily arm, and thus is considered a Murderer, and will go to Hell.

Lastly, you said:

For every Sperm you spill on the floor you kill a possible Pre-Born infant.

The keywords here are "possible pre-born infant."
A possible Pre-born infant is not a pre-born infant, thus it is not a human infant, which means no human beings were killed.
If killing male sperm is considered killing a "possible pre-born infant," then killing female eggs is also considered killing a "possible pre-born infant," which means ANY female, REGARDLESS of if the egg was fertilized or not, IS A MURDERER AND WILL GO TO HELL.

In conclusion, masturbation is no different than getting a bloody nose, or spitting saliva (which contains living cells) onto the ground, neither of which is murder, thus in no way can masturbation be considered murder either.

I win.

[Beats_His_Wife]

The entire website is supposed to be a joke according to wikipedia.......I'm kinda pissed it was hilarious while it lasted

[dior]

lulz at the

"I win."

[Vagrant]

The entire website is supposed to be a joke according to wikipedia.......I'm kinda pissed it was hilarious while it lasted

i know this, i'm simply arguing for the enjoyment of owning someone in a debate.
This whole thread exists here because we KNOW the Landover Baptists are just trolls, and their true intent is anti-religious extremism, and to show that the Christian religion is ridiculous if followed explicitly word for word.
If these people were serious, and actually practiced what they preached, this thread would have been deleted long ago, and they would have been perma-banned.

This is just all in good fun.

[Beats_His_Wife]

i know this, i'm simply arguing for the enjoyment of owning someone in a debate.

Thats true satisfaction. more satisfactory then any amount of masturbation could ever bring you

[Proper]

Vagrant, you're being way to serious. I doubt anyone will ever read that post, by the way.

[Vagrant]

Proper, you're taking my post way to serious.

[Pryze$]

holy fuck man lulz

if it really existed i wudv been soooooooo pissed at how ignorant the dudes were


damn trollers an their clever ways :mad:

[iselldope]

trollers will troll man

[JackieChanRollin]

trollers will troll man

I believe your trying to say, trolls trolling trolls.

[Buddy Christ]

I<3 Groupies

Just gotta watch out for the crabs

[TheMurderousMisterMero_]

christ has a posse.lol.



http://obeygiant.com/images/2008/10/jesus2b.gif

[LeaksOne]

yea that whole website is dead to me only because there a bunch of stuck up ban happy bitches

[iselldope]

let's make a song about tal;itha i start


talitha talitha ma heiten talitha

[CrustOner]

hey there Talitha, what's it like in LBC, you're a certain amount of miles away, and we won't ever see ya', no we won't. Christ's halo can't shine as bright as you, I swear it's true. Hey there Talitha, remember your virginity, I know your ass ain't married, so put on that belt of chastity, God wants you to.
Ooohh, Jesus was a frauudddddd, ohhh Jesus was a fraud. Ohhhh, Jesus was a fraudd, Ohh, Jesus was a fraud, he is not a Godddd.


anyway, it's early. Fuck all of you. Goodnght.

[Vagrant]

If by BS you mean Bullshit, and not bombingscience, then yes.

[downunder]

Uh so that site isnt serious? How disappointing.

[Talitha]

Well, isn't this nice :)
I go away for a few days to protest at a couple of big Funerals and look what happens.

Praise Jesus, look at y'all making up songs for me and now I'm Queen of BS.

Can we count on you all attending Church on Sunday?
Of course, you will all have to smarten up a bit. Suits for the Gents and pretty dresses for the Ladies. (Hemlines below the knees please).
You will have to be searched by Security before we let you through to the Freehold Complex.


Uh so that site isnt serious? How disappointing.

Friend, I can assure you that Landover Baptist Church is as serious and as real as the God's Wrath and the Fiery Pits of Hell.

[sketch3]

oh good for a second there i thaught it was seriouse

[dior]

same she is hella didicated tto trolling

[rave316]

If it was I'd be very sad that there where actually people like that.

[dior]

she reminds me of the super bible thumper from wife swap

[(SoS)Viruz]

This is Legit.


Talitha wow.

[Talitha]

Hello y'all.
God Bless you for remembering me.

Now, I need a little help here, seeing how many of you like playing with crayons.

Sister Gendora has posed the question on our Boards; "Why are Crayons shaped like a Penis?"
I'm sure one of you bright youngsters in here can tell me.
Also, should we be calling a Black Crayon a Native American Crayon just to be on the safe side? (is it true they are bigger than ordinary Crayons?).

Anyways, just remember, The Lord Loves you all.

YIC
Talitha

[weak0ner]

listen to the begining for this and you understand my opinon about yourself and Sister Gendora.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJYfOXe5zLc

[(SoS)Viruz]

Hello y'all.
God Bless you for remembering me.

Now, I need a little help here, seeing how many of you like playing with crayons.

Sister Gendora has posed the question on our Boards; "Why are Crayons shaped like a Penis?"
I'm sure one of you bright youngsters in here can tell me.
Also, should we be calling a Black Crayon a Native American Crayon just to be on the safe side? (is it true they are bigger than ordinary Crayons?).

Anyways, just remember, The Lord Loves you all.

YIC
Talitha

Not going to lie...I was trollin

[iselldope]

fuck them nigghers talitha,am i now a good christian(tm)

[Talitha]

Hello Boys & Girls :)

Brother Nobar over at Landover was doing his anti-vandalism rounds yesterday and found these.
Is there anyone here who can tell him what they mean?

I have no idea.

http://i935.photobucket.com/albums/ad193/fishforfood/signs/xoe.jpg


http://i935.photobucket.com/albums/ad193/fishforfood/signs/skrs.jpg


God Bless

YIC
Talitha

[BigBlueViolence]

Very, very unholy things.

[FLIP FLOP]

From the Rules section of their site.

"Let me give you the following protips:

* First of all, I would like to encourage you to lurk a little more first."

These people need to be rewarded.

[Slushi]

Talitha was the best thing that ever happened to this miserable shithole.

[Stuck]

this religiouse chick pissed me off....all religiouse people piss me off....religion is for the weak and for those who feel or are near the end of their time. Maybe there is a god but his name sure as hell aint fuckin jesus the savoir or somshit from any bible, qu'ran, etc. But thats a big if. I dont believe in any form of superior being for one reason alone. The worlds to fucked up...how many ppriest are alchoholics and pedofiles....fool if a piano is about to fall on your head go pray. its not gona help u. The events in the bible may be real but they ssure as hell are exagerated. they are exagerated to make the blind and brainless people into blind and brainless followers like this nun tabitha or w.e....GET YOUR PREACHING OUT OF HERE.....honestly. did u know theres less and less religiouse people everyyear... THE DEVIL IS WINNING 666....NATAS BLAHHHHH BURNNN BITCHHHH BURNNNN aahahahah


i kid i kid...but tabitch shut up and leave :)

[Slushi]

YOU SHUT UP AND LEAVE

Faggot. No one talks to her that way.

[Vagrant]

Damn it sluse!

this wasn't supposed to get bumped until the 4th of July!

always gotta go and fuck shit up, dont you?!?

PS: Stuck, you are a fucking imbecile.

[Stuck]

o lorrrrdddd, i need to be washhedd of my sins....where is the church? Im tired of the sluts and whores...i want a nice christian virgin who i can marry and have 12 kids with. Anyone point me in the general direction of this utmost holy building?

[Stuck]

http://www.bombingscience.com/graffitiforum/showthread.php?t=2009
enjoi my fellow christians

[Slushi]

Internet sketch crews fucking intimidating.

[Stuck]

slushie....get that priest dick out yooo asss foool....ur a vandal so dunt try to act self rightouse like these people dawggggg.

[Tony]

Internet crews



lol.

[Stuck]

Originally Posted by Vagrant
I do believe the evil demons can be exercised from my body by being sucked out through my penis.
Please save me, Talitha!

TALITHO
Friend, I expect you been pulling on your Choo-choo so much in your bedroom that it would take much more than a Christian lady like myself to get them Demons out.
By the way, Demons infest your Colon. Not your Choo-choo.

im gona fuckin sig this i swear ahaha

[.nolove.]

this religiouse chick pissed me off....all religiouse people piss me off....religion is for the weak and for those who feel or are near the end of their time. Maybe there is a god but his name sure as hell aint fuckin jesus the savoir or somshit from any bible, qu'ran, etc. But thats a big if. I dont believe in any form of superior being for one reason alone. The worlds to fucked up...how many ppriest are alchoholics and pedofiles....fool if a piano is about to fall on your head go pray. its not gona help u. The events in the bible may be real but they ssure as hell are exagerated. they are exagerated to make the blind and brainless people into blind and brainless followers like this nun tabitha or w.e....GET YOUR PREACHING OUT OF HERE.....honestly. did u know theres less and less religiouse people everyyear... THE DEVIL IS WINNING 666....NATAS BLAHHHHH BURNNN BITCHHHH BURNNNN aahahahah


i kid i kid...but tabitch shut up and leave :)

your fucking clueless kid.

[GOSTA ROCK ONE]

Im to lazy to read this thread....but im sure you guys now but yea here

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Landover_Baptist_Church

[Vagrant]

the 310th post in this thread was written by an idiot

[POPULARSTRANGER]

Im to lazy to read this thread....but im sure you guys know


or maybe you should just read what he wrote.

[Vagrant]

yep cuz i totally didn't read what he wrote

you're an idiot too.

[POPULARSTRANGER]

Well if you read what he wrote he was basically asking if you guys know it because he didnt want to read through this..

im pretty sure your the idiot

[Adamo]

its true, vagrant is a moron.

[CrustOner]

Nuh-nuh-nuh-necro bumpppppp

yeah, fuck you Vagrant, before July 4th.

[signal]

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=39107
lol they're bitching about graffiti

[EST2007]

bump old thread cuz it's 4th weekend

[zaco]

even though its fake and a parody, i bet a large portion of the forum members are all too real about that shit. they fully believe the things they are talking about

so the lulz keep on comin

[Vagrant]

lol i have this thread bookmarked on my desktop so i wouldn't forget

[otter]

so you wouldn't forget my B day?


talitha share your body with me for my b day.

[Phillip McDougall]

hahaha I love this thread<3

[otter]

17 fucking pages,damn.

[weak0ner]

wow this is insane.

[Vagrant]

Haha I remember the 4th last year, when Talitha graced us with her TrueChristian™ presence. It was a glorious day.

[Talitha]

Haha I remember the 4th last year, when Talitha graced us with her TrueChristian™ presence. It was a glorious day.

Thank you Mr Vagrant. It was indeed GLORYous.
Now, I know it's a bit early, but I'm so excited.
The Lord Blessed me with yet another year on God's Green Earth and I fear I may be busy on the 4th being a Sunday 'n all. I just had to thank you for remebreing me.

Have any of you Boys and Girls painted any pictures for me?
We could have a little competition :)

[Vagrant]

Bless the Lord!
Jesus, Himself, must have whispered that we were once again shouting our praises for you, Talitha.
For here you are.

[Phillip McDougall]

Talitha, I have seen the light. Jesus, in his beautiful white image with his flowing blonde hair, came to me and told me to become a True Christian™.

What steps do I need to take?

[LeaksOne]

Good lord, talitha has graced us with her presence once again

[Vagrant]

HaPPy TaLiTHa DaY!!

[otter]

i prayed with my dick.

[Slushi]

Bumping in epic thread