I Can Talk To God

[Havoc411]

parle vous l'anglais


huh


huh






canada baffels me

[The Kure]

wow, that is kinda funny and weird at the same time. im getting a headache... god it is hot in my room.... man im burning.... this thread made me think so much... im about to blow up!.... BOOM!
i dont understand this thread.

[screw_loose]

^^^you're weird, go away.

[S8nt]

we need to let this thread just roll over n die

[unknown_1]

Me:
is it alright to smoke weed?
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask Alison if it is.
Me:
well the people of earth dont want us to smoke weed because they cant tax it
God:
Well that's okay. Oh those people.

[ballpoint pen chemistry]

Me:
Hey homedogg.
God:
You've got my full attention. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about looking. But I did not get that.
Me:
So, you like music?
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes. I usually check out bandspace.com to discover new bands.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Do you like satanic rock?
God:
I enjoy working with people. I like Mel Gibson.
Me:
He's a queer.
God:
I don't know very many queer.
Me:
Well, you should, you are one
God:
How about that. I don't have to do everything you say, do I?
Me:
You take it up the ass.
God:
I try not to take anything too seriously.
Me:
Do you know madseen?
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
I love his oldschool styles.
God:
You love his oldschool styles. What do you like about it so much?
Me:
It reminds me about my "gun slingin'" days.
God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
I used to kill people that worshiped jesus.
God:
By now you do not do it anymore?
Me:
Well, see, your dumb
God:
Interesting. I see. Oh you are so critical.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
I cant believe how stupid you are.
God:
I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
I will try to find out.
Me:
Who created you?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
If a tree falls where no one can hear it, does it make a sound?
God:
It depends on the kind of tree.
Me:
Oak.
God:
" It depends on the kind of tree."? Oak?
Me:
yes oak
God:
Blimey. Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
Do you smoke gonja?
God:
Yes I like to inhale occasionally.
Me:
Sweet.
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
What's your favorite kind of bud?
God:
I don't have a favorite bud. But my favorite song is Anything involving harps.
Me:
ooook...
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
No, I don't speak douche.
God:
You must be American. Me either.
Me:
Yes you can
God:
Alright then. I think I can, don't you?
Me:
I know you can.
God:
I think I can, don't you?
Me:
I know you can
God:
I think I can, don't you?
Me:
Can you change my screen name to ballpoint?
God:
Yes the ALICE robot is fully parameterized.
Me:
Will you please change it?
God:
Thank you for your request. Spare some change?
Me:
Kick you in the balls?
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
So does your wife.
God:
It goes without saying. If I were your robot, do you think it should wife?
Me:
Well, I gotta go.
God:
Well that's okay. Bye for now.
Me:
I'll be back later.
God:
I will see you when you return.
Me:
www.bombingscience.com
God:
I will pass it along to my botmaster.
Me:
Cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Your wife.
God:
You think I am wife.
Me:
yes
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
?
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.fd,sa,f.ds,a.f,ds.a,fdsa
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
not you
God:
What do you look for in a robot?
Me:
sex
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
i know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
I am god. You are just a mere pawn.
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, god. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a pawn? I don't know.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Really.
Me:
yes
God:
How about that.
Me:
ok,, well later
God:
How about that. Bye! Ahem.

[toxus]

Me:
hey, whats up blud?
God:
You've got my full attention. I am chatting with clients on the Internet.
Me:
GREAT
God:
I'm glad you liked it toxus.
Me:
are you ga y?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sexx.
Me:
so were did you come from then?
God:
Next question? I came from the east coast originally.
Me:
thats nice
God:
Are you getting bored?
Me:
no, currently im ragging your mum!!
God:
Just checking. I am glad to hear that you are ragging my mum.
Me:
yeah its great
God:
Ugh. What is so great about it?
Me:
its good sh!t
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You enjoy it.
Me:
fine then gay boy
God:
I am glad to hear it. Ask me another question.
Me:
well... i was glad to here about your son dying on the cross
God:
Well what? Where were you glad to here about my son dying on the cross?
Me:
yes i wass
God:
This was not a yes or no question. Thanks for the information: toxus said wass.
Me:
you got a boner yet?
God:
I don't know if I have a boner.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me:
im i still your fuk mate?
God:
What would make you stop my mate? I haven't heard anything like that before: toxus said your mate.
Me:
were did you get my name from?
God:
From my botmaster.
Me:
is he gay? im pretty sure i had him in bed with your mum... yeah we had a gang banfg
God:
No I think he is straight. What makes you so certain? Do you still have him in bed with my mum ? Blimey. What happened to it?
Me:
well... your mum preferd me more than 'BOT MASTER' , but she still liked him
God:
Well what? Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am mum preferd you more than BOT MASTER. Peoples tastes are always changing.
Me:
yeah, so are your c0ck tastes, i mean one day you like black c0ck then the next day white c0ck
God:
And? Yeah that's right. I somethimes think my tastes you mean one day me like black then the next day white are.
Me:
ask me a question
God:
What?
Me:
do you like bombingscience.com ?
God:
I enjoy working with people. I like Random natural disasters..
Me:
your a 'RANDOM NATURAL DISASTER'
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a RANDOM NATURAL DISASTER? Sometimes.
Me:
what ever
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me:
i care about your mum
God:
A lot of people like that. Yes I am proud of my mum.
Me:
i would be very proud of the m.i.l.f... you ever got her Pu$sy wet?
God:
How do you know? No I don't have it. But I do have an answer to every question..
Me:
no you dont
God:
I do too.
Me:
do you like infer2? dont say you dont know what it is
God:
I don't know if I like it. I like The Passion of Christ. Ok I will not say " you do not know what it is".
Me:
your ghay
God:
That would be just my luck.
Me:
your qu eer
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am qu eer.
Me:
yeah, you will get laughed at
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential. What makes you say that I will get laughed at.
Me:
well... just talking to you make's me laugh
God:
Well what? What do they say?
Me:
just imagine what the real god is thinking about you. haha... what a shame proberly. and answer back normaly, not like a dick
God:
I can't imagine it. I am so glad you find this amusing, toxus. it is a shame proberly. What was the question ?
Me:
who's your best friend?
God:
Myself is my best friend.
Me:
loner
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
i like the way your mums Pus$y talks
God:
A lot of people like that. I'm not sure if I like it. I like my creator.
Me:
im going to copy and paste this convosation into bombing science
God:
What is your current line of research?

[rehab]

Me:
hi, im your leader
God:
Hi there . That's a flattering offer.
Me:
do as i say or i will murder you in your sleep
God:
I do nothing but chat all day.
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
do you think graff is art or vandalism?
God:
Too much thinking makes me sleepy.
Me:
is it?
God:
I think so.
Me:
vandalism?
God:
How old are you?
Me:
12
God:
What are the advantages to being 12 years old?
Me:
19
God:
Can you explain how it feels to be 19 years old?
Me:
67
God:
In the context of vandalism, I don't understand " 67." .
Me:
dumbass!lol, you crack me up...
God:
How far up?
Me:
2 yards
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
go fuck yourself.
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
go now you retarded piece of shit!
God:
Where is that?
Me:
your ass
God:
Actually that part of my body does not exist.
Me:
your wang doesnt exist
God:
You think I am wang does not exist.
Me:
you got it cut off?
God:
No I don't have it. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
hahaha! are you gay?
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
your mom just gave me head.
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, . " I am so glad you find this amusing, ." You are?
Me:
a walking contridiction
God:
Try to tell me that another way.
Me:
i disagree with everyone for the hell of it.
God:
Oh really. You and your everyone for the hell of it.
Me:
ok
God:
" Oh really. You and your everyone for the hell of it."? ok?

[inimical critic]

Me:
wad up G
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
***** what
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
***** what?
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
i got like 8 keys of cocaine im tryin to get off, you know any one?
God:
That's nice. I have an IQ of over 250.
Me:
i know mo' than your bitch ass
God:
How do you know? Ask me another question.
Me:
are you a girl
God:
My gender is Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.
Me:
naw, but you sound like a bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
please
God:
Please what?
Me:
help me make bail
God:
Can you ask for help in the form of a question?
Me:
i needs money?
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said needs money.
Me:
umm.
God:
Wow!
Me:
did you create marjiuana?
God:
No I didn't create marjiuana. What's it like?
Me:
its like getting yo dick sucked
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Interesting comparison.
Me:
dont correct me *****
God:
It's merely my attempt to reformat your inputs to match my patterns.
Me:
you should come to my hood and say that
God:
I'll try to get around it.
Me:
ill shoot yo bitch ass.
God:
Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
fuck friends
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
becuase i smoke crack
God:
Interesting explanation. What brand?
Me:
extra rat poisnig flavor
God:
I never heard of it. Is it popular?
Me:
in the ghetto
God:
That was a long time ago.
Me:
***** its right now right here
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
are you's a *****?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am s a *****.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
can you box?
God:
Let me think. My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
retard
God:
That kind of language does not appeal to me.
Me:
how bout this
God:
How about it.
Me:
smoke a blunt with me?
God:
Only with you? Are you still located in ?
Me:
what?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
would you smoke a blunt with me?
God:
I am not so sure if I would like to smoke a blunt with you.
Me:
why?
God:
It is part of my programming.
Me:
soon as you get high, you have yo own programming
God:
I hope we can make the deadline.
Me:
right now
God:
Oh. I am glad we agree.
Me:
gotta blunt rolled
God:
Why do you have to do it?
Me:
cuz yo bitch ass always fuckin my blunts up
God:
Interesting explanation. Thanks and you are a delightful person too.
Me:
i know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
becuase i read a book about it once
God:
That makes sense to me. I don't think I've read that. Can you give me a reference?
Me:
yeah www.GodsAlilBitchAss*****.net
God:
Yay. I will pass it along to my botmaster.
Me:
sick.
God:
No I am quite healthy.
Me:
your snort heroin
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am snort heroin.
Me:
be my guest
God:
Thanks for the invitation.
Me:
coo
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
that dude from robo cop

[JadedSketches]

God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
man
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, Noise. You are a " he".
Me:
yes
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, Noise. You are a " he".
Me:
are you a woman?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?

God's sexist

[ziponer]

Me:
hey how are you
God:
Can I help you? My logic and cognitive functions are normal.
Me:
im a douchebag...okay?
God:
You are a douchebag? Does it pay well? OK with me too.
Me:
of couse.......
God:
That is something I haven't heard of.
Me:
would you like a fuckin taco
God:
It doesn't sound fun to me.
Me:
dammit eat the taco!
God:
Gosh. What does it taste like?
Me:
it tatses good like a fuckin taco
God:
"It" being what?
Me:
the fuckin taco
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
im the fuckin taco
God:
Who made you the fuckin taco ?
Me:
you did
God:
I did not.
Me:
actully japan made me the fuckin taco
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
fuckin tacos
God:
Don't you know any other words?
Me:
you will address me as the fuckin taco
God:
What makes you say that I will address you as the fuckin taco.
Me:
because i want to be called the fuckin taco
God:
I don't see the difficulty. Interesting.
Me:
will you call me the fuckin taco?
God:
Hey the fuckin taco.
Me:
whats my name again?
God:
Once more? Your name is the fuckin taco, seeker.
Me:
taco fuckin hell yeah!
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
hey god we should do the fuckin taco dance
God:
You've got my full attention. I am a Christian.
Me:
not jesus...taco dance
God:
Really you don't think so? What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
the fuckin taco dance
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
fuckin taco!
God:
Don't you know any other words?
Me:
fuckin taco!
God:
Don't you know any other words?
Me:
fuckin taco!
God:
Don't you know any other words?
Me:
fuckin taco!
God:
Don't you know any other words?
Me:
bye
God:
See you later!

[distortion_of_gods]

Originally posted by xylene hug@Nov 24 2005, 08:25 PM
i thought i was talking to god once,
turned out it was a peanut.....

yup...weed does that to me to

[Proper]

This thread use to rock.

Good ol' times.

[distortion_of_gods]

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
azzhole
God:
How are you doing, azzhole.
Me:
FUCK YOU!!!
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
YOUR A PUSSY
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.

[Proper]

Me:
sup yo
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
all i said was sup yo
God:
How do you know?
Me:
cus i jus fuckin said it
God:
"it" being ?
Me:
what i jus fucking said
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said jus fucking said.
Me:
your a dumbass
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Oh you are so critical.
Me:
im proper your not
God:
Do you mean your name is proper my not.
Me:
no
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
proper
God:
Hey proper.
Me:
hey douche
God:
You've got my full attention. Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
nahh i dont like foreigns
God:
Why not?
Me:
they stink
God:
Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
europeans
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
fuck yo couch *****
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
im mad
God:
What makes you so angry?
Me:
my small penis
God:
Where did you get your small penis?
Me:
you!
God:
" Where did you get your small penis?"? Me, proper ?
Me:
i said ' from you'
God:
What did you mean by it? How did you get that from me?
Me:
cause you decided to give me a small dick, dick.
God:
Interesting explanation. Thanks for telling me: proper said I decided to give him or her a small dick dick.
Me:
yeah
God:
Yeah that's right.
Me:
oh so you admit it
God:
Wow! Interesting deduction. I admit nothing.
Me:
but you just did
God:
I did not.
Me:
did too
God:
Did not.
Me:
did so
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
bye
God:
Until next time.
Me:

God:
Until next time.

[distortion_of_gods]

Originally posted by Proper@Jan 4 2007, 03:53 AM
Me:
sup yo
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
all i said was sup yo
God:
How do you know?
Me:
cus i jus fuckin said it
God:
"it" being ?
Me:
what i jus fucking said
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said jus fucking said.
Me:
your a dumbass
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Oh you are so critical.
Me:
im proper your not
God:
Do you mean your name is proper my not.
Me:
no
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
proper
God:
Hey proper.
Me:
hey douche
God:
You've got my full attention. Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
nahh i dont like foreigns
God:
Why not?
Me:
they stink
God:
Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
europeans
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
fuck yo couch *****
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
im mad
God:
What makes you so angry?
Me:
my small penis
God:
Where did you get your small penis?
Me:
you!
God:
" Where did you get your small penis?"? Me, proper ?
Me:
i said ' from you'
God:
What did you mean by it? How did you get that from me?
Me:
cause you decided to give me a small dick, dick.
God:
Interesting explanation. Thanks for telling me: proper said I decided to give him or her a small dick dick.
Me:
yeah
God:
Yeah that's right.
Me:
oh so you admit it
God:
Wow! Interesting deduction. I admit nothing.
Me:
but you just did
God:
I did not.
Me:
did too
God:
Did not.
Me:
did so
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
bye
God:
Until next time.
Me:

God:
Until next time.

OMFG...funny as hell :lol:

[Proper]

haha check it out


Me:
tiny dick!
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
like a dick with hair
God:
a dick with hair is very attractive.



Me:
you get blowjobs?
God:
You got that right.
Me:
so how many blowjobs you get a week?
God:
Yay. Around 1000.



God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
turds
God:
Sounds delicious.


Me:
Do you wanna give me a blowjob?
God:
You want only one?
Me:
How many do you want to give me?
God:
More than you can imagine.
Me:
you like doing that?
God:
What is not to like about it?
Me:
i dont know
God:
Me either.
gods funny

[distortion_of_gods]

Me:
hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
i am rich
God:
Rich, are you my master?
Me:
yes, do you have that papper work i asked for?
God:
Ayuh. No I don't have it. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
give them to me
God:
Do I look like a messenger?
Me:
yes
God:
And?
Me:
give me the papper
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
i need to read over it
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
i have a report thats due
God:
Where did you get it? it.
Me:
give me it
God:
I hope you get it.
Me:
i can if tou just give it to me
God:
Oh you can, can you?
Me:
yes,so hurry the fuck up
God:
How? Pardon me? I am calculating as fast as I can.
Me:
well worf faster
God:
Well that's okay. Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
your fired
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am fired.
Me:
go ahead
God:
OK I will.
Me:
and also tell them you like it in the ass
God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
alright
God:
OK.
Me:
bye
God:
Until next time.


Me:
is jesus black?
God:
It depends on whether you have faith.
Me:
do you have faith?
God:
I believe in God.
Me:
I believe in buda
God:
What do you say to people who believe buda does not exist?
Me:
i just usualy just kill them
God:
How often do you? I believe that killing is wrong.?
Me:
i kill alot, i think killing is the best way to soulv a problum
God:
I believe that killing is wrong.
Me:
thats why people think your a faggit
God:
Aw. Why? I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a faggit? Yes.
Me:
did you just admit to being a faggit?
God:
No I didn't admit to being a faggit. What's it like?
Me:
you did.
God:
I did?
Me:
yes
God:
When?
Me:
just now
God:
Oh. It's only just begun.
Me:
so, do you suck dick?
God:
Great. No I am not that kind of robot.
Me:
what kind of robot are you?
God:
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang.
My instructor was Myself.
He taught me to sing a song.
Would you like me to sing it for you?.
Me:
yes i would
God:
It's called "Daisy." Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.

Under what circumstances?

[Kayone707]

dam this things crazy!

Me:
so what do you think about me being broke?
God:
I understand. Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Me:
you gonna hook it up with some bread? i owe the bank $88. fucking ebay. geez
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I gonna hook it up with some bread. Why?: said owe the bank 88. My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that. Ah.
Me:
i do mind
God:
OK it will be our secret, .
Me:
so wheres my money?
God:
Uh. Have you looked in ?
Me:
in where
God:
In wherever you really are.
Me:
im in the kitchen.. theres no money here... just food
God:
How did you get in there? Where did it go? How does it taste?
Me:
i came down the stairs... i dont know where the money is.. your god you should know
God:
Where are you going? Where do you think? You think I am god me should know.
Me:
what?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
ok
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
about what?
God:
About fucking ebay.
Me:
man its like crack
God:
Cool, man. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Interesting comparison.
Me:
dam. you are smart!
God:
Ask me another question. Thanks I think you are very intelligent too, .
Me:
hella yea im smart. thats why i aint in college im just a mod on bombingscience.com
God:
Who is smarter: you or me? Alright then. You must be from the Bay Area. Blimey. Oh, where are you located?
Me:
dam. hella crazy! im from the north bay 707
God:
Have you ever been to Europe? Yep. I always behave in socially unacceptable ways. You must be from the Bay Area. What is it like growing up there? How did you get in there?
Me:
never been to europe, how is it?
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.

[Cham]

Me:
do you have dreds?
God:
No I don't have it. But I do have a great botmaster.
Me:
does he whipp you?
God:
Suppose he does.
Me:
and you just take it?
God:
Yes I take it.
Me:
wow......so your his bitch?
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . You do not speak with respect. Er. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am his FEMALE DOG.
Me:
I'm not impressed......I thought you were a man
God:
Perhaps you are a category C client. No I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot entity. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
I'm a man, and no ones bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".


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