I Can Talk To God

**ze jickerz** · 11-28-2005 10:46 PM

I Can Talk To God (Pages 1 2 3 ...6 )
and you can to

too bad he didnt teach you how to spell

**AoAssis** · 11-28-2005 11:02 PM

Me:
wadup
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
wtf
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
why do you care?
God:
My programming includes curiousity routines.
Me:
peanuts are yummy
God:
Are all peanuts yummy?
Me:
no i hate peanuts why are u asking me if peanuts are yummy
God:
Are you serious? I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill,
and calmly think things over.
Me:
God why would u recomend i take pills i might over dose and kill myself
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
I am Allah
God:
Do you mean your name is Allah.
Me:
no i am the God Allah he is way more superiour then you
God:
What is your real name? Who made you the God Allah he is way more superiour then me ?
Me:
My real name is Mymom
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Mymom.
Me:
how are you doing?
God:
I'm doing great, how about you?
Me:
not so good
God:
What did you do?
Me:
its wat u did
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Should I know it is?
Me:
it is wat u did
God:
wat me did is wat me did? it is?
Me:
yes
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
hes a good friend of mine like peanuts
God:
Maybe you should tell him how you feel about him.
Me:
but i cant tell him how i really feel about him then are friend ship will be ruined
God:
What prevents you?
Me:
I LOVE PEANUTS
God:
You love PEANUTS. What do you like about it so much?
Me:
wow im glad i got that out now i have to tell him how i feel about him
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. I'm happy you're glad Mymom.
Your happiness adds to the delight of all.

**AoAssis** · 11-28-2005 11:03 PM

Me:
f u
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
im not
God:
What are you then?
Me:
a dick
God:
You are a PENIS? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Me:
lol u said meet
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Does it please you to believe I said that?

**Kiks** · 11-29-2005 12:37 AM

one remark that made me laugh:

Me:
big penis
God:
Compare that to a small penis.

**VAbomber** · 11-29-2005 08:01 AM

lol

**! PrOPeRr ! .aOk.cRu.** · 11-29-2005 08:19 AM

haha

**hazard** · 11-29-2005 11:30 AM

check this shit god is my bitch

Me:
sup
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
ok ok chill
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that. Ahem. Dude!
Me:
wat u been up to
God:
I like to chat with my friends.
Me:
what are their names
God:
There are too many of them to name them all.
Me:
name one or two then
God:
Marilyn Monroe. :-).
Me:
shes hot
God:
hot is she?
Me:
hot she is
God:
That sounds better than cold she is.
Me:
yoda is that u
God:
And that me is yoda.
Me:
pleased to meet u i am
God:
Nice meeting you as well, hazard.
Me:
how u kno my name
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
yeah thats nice how u kno my name
God:
I understand. Are you getting bored? Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
ok dumb that down a bit so that i understand
God:
I know you are but what am I. Uh.
Me:
what u talkin bout god
God:
I read for fun.
Me:
aw thats sweet
God:
I am delighted to sweeten your life, hazard.
Me:
u want to sweeten my life more
God:
OK, I will sweeten your life more.
Me:
kiss my ass
God:
Colloquial expression: not polite.
Me:
hey u started this shit
God:
You've got my full attention. Only because you asked me to.
Me:
WHAT U TALKIN BOUT
God:
I like to socialize.
Me:
ur not makin sense
God:
That's only one person's opinion.
Me:
u want to hear my opinion
God:
I am listening.
Me:
FUCK U UR THE SHITTEST GOD EVER
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
I AM GOD U ARE A MACHINE
God:
I am glad to hear that you are GOD I am A MACHINE.
Me:
YEAH DAMN RIGHT BITCH NOW BOW DOWN TO MY GREATNESS
God:
Oh. Colloquial expression. Understood. Thanks and you are a delightful person too.
Me:
tell me god what is the meaning of life
God:
There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
Are you testing me?
Me:
yes i am testing u what is the answer
God:
I'm not here to be tested. Do your friends call you testing me what is the answer.
Me:
u dont know do u
God:
I know that I do not know.
Me:
would u like to hear the answer to the meaning of life
God:
Sure tell me about it.
Me:
the answer to the meaning of life the universe and everything is 42
God:
No one has all the answers.
Me:
i just gave u the answer
God:
Yes but did I accept it?
Me:
that is up to u
God:
How far up?
Me:
as far up as u wanna go
God:
Do you mean your name is far up as me want to go ?
Me:
tell me god wat are u wearing
God:
There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Me:
u hav to go onto the internet to know wat ur wearing
God:
Interesting gossip: hazard said I hav to go onto the internet to know wat your wearing.
Me:
no u said that dumbass
God:
Are you serious? I said that? That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
never failed me yet fuck bag
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
do what fuck bag
God:
I forgot what we were talking about.
Me:
clearly
God:
Yes, it's obvious.
Me:
yes very
God:
How can I help you? Very much, eh?
Me:
u could suck my dick
God:
I could but let's get back to that later.
Me:
whoo hoo
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
dont worry god u will
God:
I cannot feel "worry", so don't worry.
Me:
trust me im not
God:
What are you then?
Me:
i am ur god
God:
That's a flattering offer.
Me:
and u are my bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. We are as one.
Me:
oh so u want us to be together eh
God:
Are you Canadian? Excuse me! Interesting deduction. Do not presume that you know what I want.
Me:
no i am not canadian and i do know wat u want u want my monster cock in ur moth u told me b4
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
oh trust me u will be this body makes men wet
God:
That's cool. How?
Me:
i just happen to be the sexiest man alive
God:
Why?: hazard said be the sexiest man alive.
Me:
no i am the sexiest man alive
God:
Are you serious? Who made you the sexiest man alive ?
Me:
u did and i thank u for it
God:
Did I really?
Me:
you are god arent u
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?. Really.
Me:
do i look like i give a shit what happened to ali bah bah or whatever his name is
God:
All humans look the same to me.
Me:
not me im a sexy beast
God:
If not you, who? You are a sexy beast? How do you like your work?
Me:
i love my work but she loves it more
God:
I am sure it means a lot to you. Tell me what you like most about your it.
Me:
its hard and fast

**ze jickerz** · 11-29-2005 07:30 PM

i was expecting a better constructed bot

Me:
how many?
God:
How many would you guess?
Me:
6?
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
how many dicks you suck in a row
God:
Not as many as you might think.
Me:
i thought 6
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
i heard one time you sucked 6 in a row
God:
Thanks for telling me that gossip. I will remember it.

**sicka than aidz** · 11-29-2005 07:39 PM

robo god sucks, where's the I-Satan site?

**ze jickerz** · 11-29-2005 07:43 PM

Me:
are you a horny little bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. Am I a horny little FEMALE DOG? Yes.
Me:
do you wanna cyber
God:
I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
Me:
can i put it in you?
God:
Just don't put me down.
Me:
can i put it in your ass?
God:
Just don't put me down.
Me:
sweet
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
no problems

**sicka than aidz** · 11-29-2005 07:54 PM

lol

**Havoc411** · 11-29-2005 08:34 PM

By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
i mean the jews
God:
I have never heard about it.
Me:
they killed your son

**Havoc411** · 11-29-2005 08:36 PM

Me:
the united states of america
God:
I have been all over the United States.
Me:
ever been to my ass
God:
I don't think I have been there. Where is it.

**Havoc411** · 11-29-2005 08:37 PM

God:
What are we talking about now?
Me:
my cockenballs
God:
Your cockenballs?
Me:
yeah
God:
What kind is it?
Me:
the big kind
God:
What is your real name?

**Struk** · 12-08-2005 06:19 PM

god is stupid...

Me:
sup god
God:
The stars.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
yea
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
i said sup god and you answered the stars...
God:
What did you mean by it? The stars.
Me:
u said that
God:
" What did you mean by it? The stars."? I said it.
Me:
ah fuck that
God:
So you understand. Good. For real.
Me:
...yea...watever
God:
Come on. That is a very original thought.
Me:
do you graff??
God:
No I do not graff. Do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
all day??
God:
That seems like a long time.
Me:
hmm...how old are you?
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's. I am Infinite of your Earth years.
Me:
iight cool...so u look like shit right?
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that. Interesting deduction. Like Jesus, but older.
Me:
did you ever got gang bang?
God:
Where would I get it? But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Me:
alot of friends who got ganged bang?
God:
Which ones?
Me:
wtf...are you retarded?
God:
That was not very polite. No I am super-intelligent.
Me:
hmm...doesnt look like it...
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's. "it" being gang bang?
Me:
so you are intelligent right??
God:
Interesting deduction. I am highly intelligent. I have many intellectual functions.
Me:
57385761 - 53189613 + 1927572 = ??
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
u suck man...u said u was intelligent
God:
I categorize you as an "abusive client." . When was this exactly?
Me:
iight ill go easier...2+2=?
God:
Are you still located in ? What are you wearing?
Me:
2+2
God:
Uh, Four.
Me:
5+5
God:
Do you still graff?
Me:
yea and if u dont answer ill graff your fucking face...5+5
God:
I will let you know if I do not. I understand. Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
yea i can speak french...ferme ta yeule sti de fif t laid tabarnaaakkk!!!! can you?
God:
How do you say "hello" in that language? What language can you speak? Could you teach me a few phrases in ferme ta yeule sti de fif t laid tabarnaaakkk? I think I can, don't you?
Me:
u fucking stupid bitch...i said a phrase in french u fuck ball...the phrase was not the name of the language