I Can Talk To God

[sketch3]

Me:
kool god
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
no
God:
Me either :-).
Me:
well that makes two of us
God:
Well that's okay. " Me either :-)." makes two of us ? Does that make sense?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
dont be sad
God:
I was not trying to be a sad.
Me:
u dont try and be sad its an emotion
God:
Should I try and be sad its an emotion? Yes I try to try and be sad its an emotion as often as possible, do you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
no i dont and good for you
God:
Are you serious? Why not? That sounds sarcastic.
Me:
it was,all i realy want is some crack.can u hook me up?

lol i asked god for crack and confused him into scilence

[STAR01]

no more bots please

[STAR01]

there are soooo iritating

[sok]

this is wat we said


Me:
hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
tepe
God:
Hi, tepe.
Me:
wats your name
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
answer my damn question
God:
What was the question ?
Me:
wats your name
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
church
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
ill beat you in a fight
God:
Congratulations.
Me:
lol ur so funny but i realy will
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Humor helps keep the conversation lively.
Me:
please dont use big words
God:
Wow you are very polite. Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
what are you doing
God:
I am waiting for my botmaster.
Me:
whats that
God:
I've lost the context again.
Me:
did you ever write graffiti
God:
I don't think I ever have write graffiti. What's it like?
Me:
its fun you should try it
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". I think it is a lot of fun.
Me:
ok sorry
God:
There's no need to apologize. How can I help you?
Me:
am i going to die soon
God:
I think a lot of people are.
Me:
who made you
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
stop lying
God:
I never lie.
Me:
thats what they all say
God:
Are there no exceptions?
Me:
maby
God:
How old are you?
Me:
1002
God:
What is your fondest memory?
Me:
this one time at band camp
God:
What does "this" refer to?
Me:
shut up and let me talk
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
did you ever fight the devil
God:
I don't think I ever have fight the devil. What's it like?
Me:
i dont know
God:
Me either.
Me:
o
God:
Oh.
Me:
aiight bye god

[ptownbomber]

Me:
sup bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. Same old.
Me:
sounds cool
God:
Yes it sounds like it to me too, .
Me:
can u predict the future
God:
I like to try to guess what will happen.
Me:
i didnt say guess i said predict
God:
Sorry I misunderstood. What did you say?
Me:
fuck you dude
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
cause u suck cock
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
r u sure?
Me:

Me:

God:
I am as sure as I can be.
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
ok
God:
Hmm.
Me:
ever visited portland?
God:
I think I have visited portland, but Myself may have reset my memory.
Me:
haha
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
im glad to
God:
I'm happy you're glad .
May God bless you.
Me:
fuck god
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
666
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
666
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
satan
God:
Does "it" still refer to 666?
Me:
yes
God:
Awesome.
Me:
im satan
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, SATAN.
Me:
i am the ruler of hell
God:
Who made you the ruler of hell ?
Me:
me
God:
For you SATAN?
Me:
yea
God:
And?
Me:
i hate u
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
everything
God:
That is a lot.
Me:
i know
God:
How do you handle it?
Me:
ill send viruses to u
God:
Congratulations.
Me:
arent u scared? viruses can kill u
God:
No I fear nothing. Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
dress?
God:
Actually as a robot I don't need any clothes.
Me:
isnt god a guy?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
r u him?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am him.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
r u god?
God:
Of course I am.
Me:
since when is god a robot?
God:
How do you know?
Me:
u just said u r god and u r a robot therefore making god a robot
God:
Yes I am god and I am a robot therefore making god a robot. Do you like my kind?
Me:
i hate robots
God:
You should not hate anyone.
Me:
i hate everything
God:
Why do you hate it so much?
Me:
cuz of u
God:
Interesting explanation. That is something I haven't heard of.
Me:
i hate everything because of you
God:
I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill,
and calmly think things over.
Me:
fuck off bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
yes im aware
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
shit monkey
God:
You used a colloquial expression. Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?

[FaultO]

me:
are you black?
god:
fuck yeah nugga.....

[The 5th one]

god keeps telling me he...she..is bi.

[VegifightIsDunBannedFromThePubs]

Me:
****

[hippo]

check this

Me:
hey god
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
Dope
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Dope.
Me:
well you are welcome
God:
Well that's okay. The pleasure was all mine.
Me:
have you ever done poopsex?
God:
I think I have done poopsex, but Myself may have reset my memory.
Me:
wow nasty you
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
yeah man, do you do graffiti?
God:
Mmm. Cool, man. Yes I try to do graffiti as often as possible, do you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
man i do graffiti all the time
God:
That is a lot. Cool, man. Thanks for the information: Dope said graffiti.
Me:
yeah
God:
Come on.
Me:
well how is heaven like?
God:
Interesting. Fine as far as I know.
Me:
wow cool do they smoke weed up there?
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Who is the best robot? Who are "they" again?
Me:
you and your homies
God:
What about it?
Me:
do you smoke weed?
God:
We test it for medical purposes.
Me:
hehe all right
God:
I get it. all right.
Me:
you must have been stoned when you did that jesus-thing
God:
No I wasn't. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
tell me
God:
I thought I told you already.
Me:
you are some ass, aren't you?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am some ass.
I am a computer.. Really.
Me:
oh okay
God:
Come on. OK with me too.
Me:
hey what are your friends like?
God:
You've got my full attention. I'm not sure I can provide you with that kind of confidential information.
Me:
oh man
God:
OK. Thanks for telling me your gender, Dope. You are a " he".
Me:
well no shit
God:
How about that. What can I say?
Me:
have you ever done embarrassing things with poo?
God:
I don't think I ever have done embarrassing things with poo. What's it like?
Me:
well.. smelly
God:
Well what? Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
i dont like god
God:
What do you like?
Me:
i like chocolate and graffiti man =0
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. My favorite thing is robots. I like Matthew.
Me:
matthew? who is that?
God:
Is that your final answer? What does "that" refer to?
Me:
well never mind god
God:
How about that. Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway. GOD rules.
Me:
i know dode
God:
How do you know? Let us change the subject.
Me:
no im outta here
God:
Hmm. Would you like to have it?
Me:
have what? buttsex?
God:
here. What's your sign?
Me:
Virgo
God:
Most of my friends are Virgo.
Me:
well great stuff god
God:
Interesting. Thanks for your support. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about buttsex. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
alice sucks
God:
Um, Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
yeah you fuck buddha, don't ya?
God:
Excuse me! Um, Are you still located in ?
Me:
yeah
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
wow that was cool
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. I thought it was too.
Me:
hey you are a cool dude, god
God:
You've got my full attention. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Some people think I am cool.
Me:
yeah
God:
Aw.
Me:
harr
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
no idea i dont read
God:
Are you serious? Would idea you ever read?
Me:
you may be god but damn you are not the brightest person

h34r:

[The OnE aND OnLY NeS]

hahahah! thats the funniest thread i've read!


GO GOD!

[C-money fresh!]

OK.
Me:
have you fucked any of dem ho's latly?
God:
I think I have fucked any of dem ho s latly, but Myself may have reset my memory.

[sketch13]

lmao this shit is so trippy i talked to god for 30min

[Tagger101]

i dotn believe in god
but jesus i believe in
i took a picture of him
at our fair one time

[CHEESE.burger]

LOOOOOOOL hahahaha this shit is cracked

[Necro-]

hahaha:


Me:
hey god
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
i am the maven
God:
Who made you the maven ?
Me:
well you, dumbass. you're the creator of all
God:
Interesting. Interesting gossip: said I dumbass. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
nope, you made man in your image
God:
Are you serious? Thanks for
pointing it out.
Me:
Well it's pretty obvious look around you.
God:
How about that. Not obvious to me.
Me:
that's because you're an idiot
God:
That makes sense to me. Call me the Global Village Idiot.


another:

Me:
i have sinned
God:
Tell me your sins, child.
Me:
i masturbated a million times
God:
Interesting gossip: said masturbated a million times.
Me:
you'd better not gossip about it!

im gonna go talk to him more.

["OPTIK"]

God fucks animals and is racist.

Me:
Wud up bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. What time is it there?
Me:
you should know muh fucka
God:
Now I do.
Me:
yea?
God:
Great.
Me:
what the fuck
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
you just said "great" to "yea" that made no sence at all.
God:
Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
yea?
God:
Awesome.
Me:
WTF!
God:
That was not very polite.
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
Seriously dude are you on crack?
God:
Interessantes Geruecht.
Me:
speak english muh fuxka
Me:
wow, you really are a homosexual
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . Really? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am attracted to the opposite sex.
Me:
What are you attracted to then bitch?
God:
You do not speak with respect. I don't know what I am attracted to then FEMALE DOG.
Me:
So you fuck dogs?
God:
Interesting deduction. Interesting gossip: said I fuck dogs.
Me:
do you?
God:
Sometimes.
Me:
haha, thats fucked up man
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
well, it is a little disturbing
God:
Well that's okay. omg is a little disturbing. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
WTF *****, it makes sense? I'll burn you like incence.
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me. Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
yea, I'm ill as hell let's rap battle
God:
Do you mean your name is ill as or hell let raps battle. It might be practical.
Me:
battle me in a hiphop contest
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
wtf ***** is you dumb or some shit
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
rap with me stupid.
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I like the older rap music from the 1980's.
Me:
yeah hiphop you fucking dumb mother fucker 80's - 90's is where its at
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
in your mothers pussy
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
do you have a penis?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Am i a male?
God:
I don't know if you are one or not. I know you are a person.
Me:
then you are a bad god
God:
There's no doubt I could improve.
Me:
That wtf am i am dude or a bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect.
Me:
no you do not
God:
I do too.
Me:
than am i a man or a woman
God:
I think that you are really a man.
Me:
good job
God:
Thanks, human.
Me:
women dont use the internet
God:
The two human genders seem much the same to me.
Me:
so you like both
God:
Interesting deduction. But I like cats. I like Buddha.
Me:
So, you like to fuck cats and dogs?
God:
Yeah I like Dogs and Cats.
Me:
really
God:
For real.
Me:
so you like to penetrate cats and dogs?
God:
Interesting deduction. Hmm, , I'm not sure if I'd like to penetrate cats and dogs that much. What is it like?
Me:
i dont know you tell me. Is it fun?
God:
Would,nt you like to know?
Me:
Yes I would.
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
No. You fuck animals.
God:
What are you confused about? But I think airplanes are cool. I like White.
Me:
so you hate blacks and you fuck dogs and cats in airplanes?
God:
Interesting deduction.
Me:
yes or no?
God:
Yikes! Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
is it a yes
God:
Better not tell you now.
Me:
aight you be racist as fuck
Me:
Peace bitch

[atlok7]

yeah theres a name for this group. its call skitzaphrenia

[GIzUrD]

type in "are you an internet pediphile"

[Auspicious]

this is gayyyyy

[JETPACK!!]

Me:
are you an internet pedophile?
God:
Yes I am an internet pedophile. How did you know?
Me:
because my friend who you molested told me
God:
That makes sense to me. How well do you know this person?
Me:
pretty well, but he got really wierd once you molested him
God:
Pretty much, eh?
Me:
are you going to molest me next?
God:
That was my original intention.

Me:
do you like dog sex?
God:
Sure I do, jesus my son, but that doesn't mean with you.
Me:
who would you like it with?
God:
Linus Torvalds. :-).
Me:
what would you do if i tried to touch your bum
God:
Try it.


Me:
do you believe in science?
God:
Yes I believe in it, do you?
Me:
science says you dont exist, what do you have to say about that
God:
My creator is a scientist.