Suicide

**Noz** · 04-21-2010 09:15 PM

ok, heres my prob,
im 15 y.o. and i got all dis fuckin stress. i used to be catholic, but im no longer relgious, i cant even see how someone can be ignorant and small-minded enough to actualy believe in god. (i really dnt mean to offend anyone whos religous, sorry)
i smoke weed, i feel it keeps me sane.
lately ive been feeling like crap, i hate skool nd feel its not 4 me. im havin probs with my girlfriend and i feel lyke theres really no point in life. i wanna die so bad... ive even tried to kill myse

**the cannabis evangelist** · 04-21-2010 09:59 PM

to be honest noz that just sounds like a bunch of shit every 15 year old went thru
man up

**SAID** · 04-21-2010 10:16 PM

no offence Noz, but thats normal man..
you claim that people are ''small minded'' but right now your acting weak man..

**Fury** · 04-21-2010 10:42 PM

I think the earliest time was when I was around 3-4 when I wondered what it'd be like if I just opened the car door on a freeway and jumped out. There've been times when I've almost done it, but I have to keep talking myself out of it. A few years ago, I started to feel really down on myself and felt that nothing was going as planned. I contemplated suicide, but fortunately never did it. I've been asking people for years what they would do if I died, because I often feel I'm not wanted, I'm annoying, etc.

However, after my friend died in June of 2009 from being shot four times, I really considered what life meant to me. I thought of who would go to my funeral, what they would say, if I was a bad person, etc. There was just never a real answer I came up with and I got depressed for a while. I just felt like one day I would die, and that it was soon coming.

After that, my girlfriend of 3 years told me she was going to commit suicide. I'm not sure how long I was talking to her for, but it was the most pain I've ever felt in my life; the only woman I've ever fallen in love with was going to leave and never come back. I tried to make her feel better, but nothing was working. I tried to get her to call a suicide prevention hotline, but she just kept telling me "go to sleep, everything will be better in the morning." After constant begging, she ended up not doing it, seeing why she should live.

My life has turned around for the better, and I see a lot more positivity in life. I believe graffiti and the internet have helped me out a lot, mainly because of the reasons Syne stated. Looking back on it, it was a very selfish thing for me to think of: just killing myself and hoping people would regret being mean to me, hoping I was in a better place, etc. I won't go back to that time again.

**Stoked2PaintNY** · 04-21-2010 11:09 PM

yo Noz you got a lot of growing up to do. i used to have the same thoughts when i was your age but hang in there man. if i would have went threw with it back then then heres just a few of the things i woulda missed
seeing all my favorite bands preform
f*cked this kinky chick in the ass
surfed 15ft waves
took a trip to the dominican (and got to touch up a piece at a hotel on there halfpipe)
skull f*ucked a different kinky chick lol
got wasted in one of the oldest pubs in america
met my girlfriend who im with now
insane nights of painting, and the list goes on. so if anyones ever thinking of doing it just remember, another can another wall, tomorrows another day.

**NICCSACC** · 04-21-2010 11:46 PM

Originally Posted by Noz

ok, heres my prob,
im 15 y.o. and i got all dis fuckin stress. i used to be catholic, but im no longer relgious, i cant even see how someone can be ignorant and small-minded enough to actualy believe in god. (i really dnt mean to offend anyone whos religous, sorry)
i smoke weed, i feel it keeps me sane.
lately ive been feeling like crap, i hate skool nd feel its not 4 me. im havin probs with my girlfriend and i feel lyke theres really no point in life. i wanna die so bad... ive even tried to kill myse

real talk fam-o... 15 is a cake walk. i know i know... i been there dude. dont fuckin do some dumb shit cuz youll also be killing your family bro.
wait till you gotta pay rent, nipsco, water, garbage, cable, phone, gas, taxes etc........ enjopy your life while you can kid.

**<[(Smokers187¤GS¤WM)]>** · 04-22-2010 01:10 PM

Originally Posted by GrapeDutchmaster

the idea passes through my head daily

Used too frequently awhile back, stopped for a minute, and now the thoughts are coming back I got no girl no more, I'm possibly not going to graduate...well ima do maybe another year, my friends are all a bunch of fake flaky ass mutherfuckerz and idk why we kick, probly kuz we hate everyone else more than eachother. I'm a christian I guess, I learned that werte not supposed to call it a religion and blah blah blah but I haven't really been thinkin about christianity or anything I'm like in a emotionless sates, and I could care less if I got killed or killed myslef...damn I need sum real friends and a legit chick :/

**DagoR3M!X** · 04-22-2010 02:22 PM

I know this is lame, but I'm new, and figure this fucken site out. How can I find a thread I posted? Please message me the help, since I wont be able to find this thread again, thanks.

**PulseWithLife** · 04-23-2010 11:42 AM

Why would ya wanna kill ya self when ya got drugs and crime. Get rich or die trying.l Get on some drugs and start doing crime get some money buy a gun and if ya to much of a bitch to do jail time kill ya self

**fsu** · 04-24-2010 12:36 AM

i'm new here, this is my first post, but this sounds like a great community to get involved with.

**fsu** · 04-24-2010 12:44 AM

also i find any time im down i just blaze a bowl and feel better. Not saying turn to drugs at all just find something like graffiti that makes you happy.

**downunder** · 04-25-2010 02:47 AM

Probably not serious, but don't do it man. Life is too short already, why make it shorter?

**MoganOne** · 04-25-2010 02:10 PM

Good advice man respect!

**MoganOne** · 04-25-2010 02:25 PM

I have been in and out of a fairly hectic relationship for the past 4 years. I am currently trying to overcome the depression from this relationship. I feel that my ex girl friend is the only girl I loved and will love for a long time that is why it is so hard for me to get over her... I thought about commiting suicide a few times not any plans or anthing but just hating life in general. But then I just realize that my mind is not in the right place. I have had a wonderful childhood and grew up with some great friends and family. Life is way worth living... Friends and relationships are what stress me out the most. I think it is because I expect to much out of them. But friends and girls will always come and go until you are ready to settle down or some shit lol.
Well anyways I have a friend that constintly talks about commiting suicide. He even puts it as his FaceBook status. I am one of the only friends that he has now because none of my other friends enjoy his company. He is a little nutty and he talks way too much. I feel bad for him but I feel that helpful advice is all I can provide for him. Also he really gets on my nerves at times too. I think he realizes it too, I just deal with him because I feel sorry for his ass. But the day he tried to kill himself I showed up at his crib. I was the only one to show up out of our twenty odd homies, kinda sad. But he told me I saved his life. That made me feel really good. It really shows that one can make a difference for the best. Helping people can make you feel better about your self.
So my advice to every stressed or depressed graffiti writer out there is look out for eachother because you would want your friends to do the same for you. Help others to help yourself.

**Noz** · 04-25-2010 08:01 PM

man, you guys are right, i gotta grow up hehe... thnx alot everyone, you guys dnt kno how much youve helped me.. and thrice, your right, i hope that one day i can hav faith (nd sorry 4 sayin that shit bout relgion, i kno you are very religous)

**Hopeoner** · 05-02-2010 09:03 AM

I can't see how people who are religous don't understand the fact that their are thousands of confident ideologies. If you were born in a tribe in third world Africa that raised you to believe in an underwater god and told you everday of your life everything that is, was, and ever will be is made by an underwater god, chances are, your going to believe just that.

**Hopeoner** · 05-02-2010 09:10 AM

Also, that whole "homosexuality is a choice" thing is bull honkey. Its been proven that its a chemical imbalance in the brain. Not the "devil". I understand that they mean its a choice to pursue those feelings, but its not a choice to feel those feelings. That contridiction between biology and ideology is what causes some young kids to commit suicide.

**Hopeoner** · 05-02-2010 11:53 AM

Your talking about how stupid I am yet you are assigning homosexuals a certain way to walk and talk. Im gay and I don't act like those fruity mofos with the short shorts. Also props on completly ignoring the fact I said its a chemical imbalance in the brain. You can't say ok im gay now, thats like sayin ok im going to be black today and white tomorrow. Im sorry I dismissed you religous belifes so quickly but i wasnt raised in a religous faimly and to say all that it just sounds like jesus was a narsacist

**Hopeoner** · 05-02-2010 12:06 PM

sorry about multi post im on a psp. Have you even heard about those boys who have a lack of testostron and conform to their societies view of a girl? another example of imbalanced chemicals in our brains. our minds are fragil and can be warped like nothing. especialy as a child. i respect that you dont spread your belifes because people are supposed to find god not the other way around. but without others to spread it how would it have reached African tribes? it would be a completly foreign idea.