Suicide

[labmadelift]

lost a beautiful person to this shit, feeling of no self worth is extreme and very powerful, shit, i got depressed just reading through here.

[labmadelift]

It doesn't help im christian and im straight edge. None of my friends are but i don't judge or dismiss people if they do drugs, drink, etc. But i wish they could do the same for me. I get this "oh that so cool." "i respect that." Sorts of bullshit but they always see me for some arrogant shallow prick, which im really not. I keep my religious beliefs and moral values to myself and only judge my own actions, unless heinous. I dont get it, are they jealous or does it bother them that im spiritual?

jealous, i wish i could have faith in something so invisible and unseen, and believe in some long "life creating" story, but i can't, i see what i see and i do what i do.

but i almost give you props for having the will power and belief in something you can't see. amazing. hats off to all people having faith, faith in anything.

[jiveONE]

It doesn't help im christian and im straight edge. None of my friends are but i don't judge or dismiss people if they do drugs, drink, etc. But i wish they could do the same for me. I get this "oh that so cool." "i respect that." Sorts of bullshit but they always see me for some arrogant shallow prick, which im really not. I keep my religious beliefs and moral values to myself and only judge my own actions, unless heinous. I dont get it, are they jealous or does it bother them that im spiritual?

All I can personally say (from experience) find at least just one really cool friend who can really see you for who you are...and if you're strait edge don't hang out with that party crowd; they are douchebags, and this is coming from someone who isn't edge. A true friend will always accept you for who you are, and see through your faults....

[Thrice]

Thanks man, im keeping an open mind when meetin new people in my life.

[TheToy]

Real *****'s do real shit.

Nuff said.

[Thrice]

Can some mod please check this thread once a week or so and ban these fuckin' pricks that come here to talk shit.

[RFI. SPit]

Yea I'm going to try to keep an eye on it, any shit talk in this thread isn't going to fly, and I'll ban you immediately

[Thrice]

Appreciate it Zof.

[The Kidz]

i thought about suicide a few weeks ago, even broke my widow but i just could not bring myself to jump just because i knew what it would do to my friends and family

[downunder]

i thought about suicide a few weeks ago, even broke my widow but i just could not bring myself to jump just because i knew what it would do to my friends and family

I once punched a hole in my door, so close to killing myself m4n!!!!!!!!!!

[PeeInTheShower]

you could tell who's never lost anybody due to taking their life. this is no fantasy... there are people out there living this world knowing that their afterlife will be more peaceful but they know they have people to take care of on earth. man i feel like doing myself in sometimes just because i don't want to get a job, don't want to have to worry about where i'm gonna live, i don't want to worry about borrowing money to start my car to drive down the street, i don't want responsibilities. i don't want anything.

[Papa Crucifix]

Alright,

I am currently relapsing back into my depressive state after all these years of my 'small mood changes' i have finally clonked onto a large one and its not gone for a couple weeks ever since i was lied to, cheated on, abused, and just all round treated like shit.

i mean i don't care about the being treated like shit but all my life i have had suicidal tendencies i love the thought of death and this is the thing i have set myself up to do, usually i spend my time listening to peoples problems and curing them of there hatred for their own lives but when it comes to me needing a helping hand, no one has the time of the day to spare a minute to help me sort my life out.

I just believe i cant handle life at the moment, I'm living a false life, i get up in the morning put a mask on that's happy and cheerful so that i don't get angered by people pestering me, i know it seems pretty contradictory saying i dislike being pestered about how I'm feeling but there's times where i wish to express them and times when i seek to just leave them to fester.

I cannot control my urges for self purging of the blood in my body, i wish to spill blood that is mine, i seek to end my pain and torment i want it all to end so that i have nothing to do with this Plane of existence or this world that has so many problems with it.

I do not see why i should live my 'False Life' just to keep others happy when i myself am not happy, and i cant be happy because I've tried everything to be it, I'm over it all

This is no a plea for help, this is but a knowledge of my feelings for future reference to guide someone in my state from this point back to reality.

This may not make sense but, It's my attempt.

- Papa Crucifix

[CrustOner]

You could always leave the mask off for a day. Live the "real" life for a day, and see how things play out. Some will think you're a fucking asshole, some will be able to understand where you're coming from, change, or help you.

I feel Suicide is never an answer in my life. There are always a multitude of choices, even if that means burning my apartment for the insurance policy, or ditching everything and going squatting (something I plan on doing anyway), but I feel suicide just isn't ever an answer. I've been doing the fucking exact same thing for about two weeks, and I need to get out of it, but even then, I still don't feel I'm living a false life.



tl;dr: Papa Crucifix, don't do it. Take your mask off for a day and let people know what you really think. It's freeing.

[Papa Crucifix]

Tomorrow (well today but couple hours from now when i actually get some sleep) shall be my day without my mask, if... in fact it does work, then i shall continue to leave it off

if on the other hand, it doesn't work... then back to square one...

I'm still in my depressive moods, every now and again, but when i get them, boy are they hell...

Crust, you're a kind stranger my friend... thank you for your words of wisdom

i think my life may turn around when i finally move into my other flat with my mates and relax away from most of the stress

[Thrice]

I once punched a hole in my door, so close to killing myself m4n!!!!!!!!!!

Shut the fuck up and get the fuck out of here.

[pilerskee]

I don't really know why I am writing this on here but here it goes.
For the past year or more my life just seems sort of half-lived, and its fucked man- because that shit gets me pissed..at myself and at everyone around me. I have some issues with social situations, you know being in a group, or even just one on one with someone, whether it be guys or girls, strangers or people i know. I used to go to group therapy because i have those issues, I was told to go there by an old psychiatrist, anyway, that didn't help, I thought it would but i'm right when i started. I mean its sorta like depression but its not- i was told its called social anxiety, but the description doesn't seem to match me entirely. So, i'm confused and angry, so a lot of the time i do get suicidal tendencies in my mind. What also does it is the fact that apart from having those issues i've lost every friend i ever had- and to be honest i never really got an answer to why..so that's all i want to say now, but i could go on for ages and as i said before, i don't not know why i wrote this here, but its here so fuck it.

[Loki X Sho]

Its cool to talk on here man...Its a good way to see that you're not alone and others share similar situations. So, I understand that they say you're socially anxious and you don't really agree, but what exactly do you feel like...Its really hard to lose a good friend, especially with no explanation. Its not your fault and unfortunately we have no control over others life choices. You can't blame yourself, and since there was no reasoning thats one of the first things you'll probably do...but its not good to be presumptuous because most of the time, the situations we create are only happening in our heads.

Sometimes when I feel like I'm at rock bottom, I force a smile on my face...just the act of smiling makes things a little better. A lot of the time when I'm depressed I need a change..If things aren't going well the way you're living right now, then make some adjustments. They don't have to be big ones, but simply adding an extra walk to your day, or do something you never thought you'd do before..and as for being socially ancxious..I feel ya. I used to have terrible anxiety..I've lost jobs over it before..but I got better. It just takes time. I started hanging out at a local record store, and it was great..new people, good music, good times. You need to occupy yourself. I notice I'm the most depressed when I'm alone and doing nothing.

[Bilnek]

well my friend commited suicide a week ago....but she was really actin okay before she killed herself....im fuckin feelin like shit since then....what i want to ask what are the reasons except deppresion and bad relations wit friends.....u guys that want to kill yourself just think about the pain you will cause to the people that love you and understand that suicide aint the solution...

[viseversa101]

i dont really care to read thru n help out as much as it looks u guys do but i will say that i share the same thing, ive been on meds since i was 17 n almost 25 now, ive been to a psych ward like 3 times n hospitalized for shit ive done more then a few...i duno how but i kinda bury it away now adays and am pretty okay. i slit my wrist a while back n its a constant reminder to look at the scar n remember im not as bad as i was then..figured id share a little

[Bilnek]

u should go out and get laid =)
i really mean it....it helped me
what i wanted to know is can it be reckognized when a person wants to commit a suicide....my friend was actin usual till the day she killed herself