Suicide

[syne7]

People plan suicide for months, thinking "should I do it today" every single morning that they wake up. I've had plenty of friends who tell me that they have considered suicide at one point. My bestfriend almost commited suicide when he saw his mom smoking crack, and even for me was harsh because we were young and after that day she would always tell me he wasn't home or that he didn't want to see me and when your 10 the feeling that someone hates you so much that they would lock their door just so they didn't have to see you leaves a pit at the bottom of your stomach that you slowly fall into. Mix that with being bullied physically by your peers and emotionally by your parents, leads to you staring at a knife in the middle of the day in your room with the lights off. Thinking how much would it hurt if I jabbed it through my neck, just so it would all go away. Even though that was a long time ago, I could never consider suicide anymore. Since I was 8 my dad had given me unlimited access to the internet and I grew attached to it, especially the gaming and coding. To me playing a few rounds of UT2k3 was almost a release of all worries. Then I found languages like VB which was easy enough to learn that I would spend days upon days trying to code a MP3 player or make a webpage out of HTML. Looking back I have to thank the internet for being an outlet to me, and if you consider suicide then you have to find your outlet, may it be graffiti or computers. Just keep your head up.

[Bilnek]

pilerskee....u have some serious problems....try that free hugs thing...it helps

[ManikOner]

first off, props to msfyt for making this thread.
I had a few years of my life where it was just depression, at maybe 9 to maybe 13 i was just super depressed and thought about suicide plenty of times. When i would get angry or sad it would show and i would freak. crying, not talking, just sitting all day, whatever. just like syne7 tho. i had outlets and sure enough, one of mine was computers. getting on my computer, playing games, coding, trying to make html sites for pointless crap. and then drawing. A lot of my feelings showed in my drawings at that time, they were usually creepy or sad. If you know Alex Pardee, it was similar to his stuff. I havent thought of it since then. art really worked as a big medium for me, all you need to do is find one. Skateboarding with friends helped me to. but then you get days where you dont land shit and you just get incredibly irritated. just take it easy and do stuff you like to do.

[JazeTSK]

Damn yo this shit caught be hard. bout a year ago my homeboy's girl hung herself in her closet. He just got out of a mental hospital yesterday for tryin to OD on Xanax, he never got over it. Nows he's back paintin and shit after a year from it.
My Sis just got out a few weeks ago for tryna kill herself.
Shit sucks yo.
It deffinitely helps bein a graffhead.
You see the world as such a better place.
Well at least I do.
Everything becomes beautiful in a sense...

[me_is_are_of_yu]

I've slit my wrist when I was 13 although my life has been always OK. I did it because of this. I'm okay these days, at least I am not considering suicide yet once you start to think about suicide, you can't get rid off this idea.

[SALVO]

Just because you might think you're a nihilist it doesn't mean you should kill yourself.
If anything you should feel more liberated, maybe bored, but not suicidal. If you truly believe that morality isn't inherent, and you actually could de-program yourself into a guiltless, impulsive person why would you feel sad? What is there to feel sad about?

[me_is_are_of_yu]

I didn't feel sad, guilty or impulsive lol and I agree, suicide is just as pointless as anything else.

[CrustOner]

I agree. I'm a nihilist.. ha.

[Bilnek]

im a pedophile but i don't brag goddamn -.-

[syne7]

im a cerial rapist, but i don't brag about it >.>

[weak0ner]

alot of shitty things happen in your life but there is always another way, you could always be one of these poor bastards.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rXPrfnU3G0

[Alts13]

Suicide is a horrible thing, it is totally selfish and the person that does it doesn't realise the impact it has on others, I am talking from the viewpoint that I am 31 now and since the age of about 16 I have contemplated suicide on numerous occasions and have attempted it a few times, but the thought of my family is the only thing to have stopped me.

The reasons for suicide vary for many people, for me when I was younger it was because I got caught up in hard drugs and saw no way out of it other than death, but I realised that it isn't the way and managed to work through that, mainly since then it has been depression that has caused me to think about it, just the feeling that life is a waste of time and that I no longer want to be part of it anymore, I locked myself away from friends and basically started drinking myself to death, which ended up with my wife leaving me and taking our son (he was only just born) since then I have realised what is important and have got my relationship with my wife back and am a happy person who trys to remain positive and I fight against the negativity I feel a lot of the time, I realise that I am needed by people and I would be an asshole if I topped myself.

I have pretty much stopped drinking completely apart from the occasional bottle of wine with my wife and I don't touch any drugs other than Weed.

Always try and talk to people, don't get stuck in the meds that doctors give you unless you get to the point that you dont feel you can continue but don't make them your crutch, I know it sounds crazy but get out and walk, exercise releases amazing endorphins in your mind and it is a great anti depressant, also write, get your thoughts on paper so you can read back and see good times etc, just don't think you are alone because there is always someone that will miss you.

[Bazer]

i sell rhymes like dimes.

[CrustOner]

Awzer, for the sake of not hurting anyone's feelings (and I mean that in the least offensive way, depressed people), sometimes you should just keep what you have to say to yourself. Regardless of my opinions on suicide, people still do it, and people are still depressed. Why not keep some members of the graffiti community alive?

[zaco]

the notion of an afterlife is kind of troubling. the thought that theres nothing else after this life keeps me distant from the idea of suicide. id rather have a life with problems and solutions instead of not existing any more

[RFI. SPit]

I'll continue to hand out bans for any disrespect in this thread. Awzer was first, who wants to be next?

[GrapeDutchmaster]

the idea passes through my head daily

[Noddles912300]

the notion of an afterlife is kind of troubling. the thought that theres nothing else after this life keeps me distant from the idea of suicide. id rather have a life with problems and solutions instead of not existing any more

The thought of an afterlife is what keeps me here. If I die I want to remain dead, not have to go through life once more.

[GritKid]

Probably the best thread on the whole of BS, I myself have acctually been in a position where i almost died from slitting my wrists, and if it wernt for my younger brother i would probably be dead. I know what its like when it feels your world is collapsing around you, not nice (N)

[NICCSACC]

my friend committed suicide a few years back. shits brutal. i woyuldnt do it personally. you never know whats on a persons mind...