People plan suicide for months, thinking "should I do it today" every single morning that they wake up. I've had plenty of friends who tell me that they have considered suicide at one point. My bestfriend almost commited suicide when he saw his mom smoking crack, and even for me was harsh because we were young and after that day she would always tell me he wasn't home or that he didn't want to see me and when your 10 the feeling that someone hates you so much that they would lock their door just so they didn't have to see you leaves a pit at the bottom of your stomach that you slowly fall into. Mix that with being bullied physically by your peers and emotionally by your parents, leads to you staring at a knife in the middle of the day in your room with the lights off. Thinking how much would it hurt if I jabbed it through my neck, just so it would all go away. Even though that was a long time ago, I could never consider suicide anymore. Since I was 8 my dad had given me unlimited access to the internet and I grew attached to it, especially the gaming and coding. To me playing a few rounds of UT2k3 was almost a release of all worries. Then I found languages like VB which was easy enough to learn that I would spend days upon days trying to code a MP3 player or make a webpage out of HTML. Looking back I have to thank the internet for being an outlet to me, and if you consider suicide then you have to find your outlet, may it be graffiti or computers. Just keep your head up.