Suicide

[FuckTheFame]

it could be worse
you could be schizophrenic man
life is a lot worse when your depressed have no friends...and hear voices
im actually afraid to go outside
graffiti can be a huge therapy...until i would get jittery
i hear voices in my head saying "just write on it" and shit like that
shitty homelife really sucks tho man
i wish i had a answer for you
finding religion is a good way to go about it sometimes
its like "god" can be your imaginary friend or something
and that "god" can be whatever higher power you want it to be
hell it can even be YOU
then sooner or later after a while of brainwashing yourself into thinking that way you can become god
as long as you think that your god cares
im more of a man of science
i believe there could be a god...but noone ever gave the thought that maybe it doesnt care
but then again im kind of insane so it helps take away from hope if your like that
sometimes you just gotta tell yourself...im super funkin cool
haha just look in the mirror and say or something
its a lot easier to go through life being a goofball and just silently bearing your cross
because we all got a cross to bear these days
its always good to try and find inner peace
as wack as it sounds what harm is it to try it
its kind of like your holier then thou among people...but your not trying to one up them
its like your trying to show them the way if they are problem starters
its like if you set up your own morals you'll have your own self cool...your zen if you will
my problem is i got so fucking "pure" i forgot how to give myself credit for it
try being the nice guy who hates the world
those shoes suck man and they're mine
plus i have people reading my thoughts everywhere i go
just remember man your life could always be worse
take control i guess and make it for the better
and if not crawl in the bottle and just dont come out
because ill be real with ya...life is a bitch

[PulseWithLife]

Dammn.

Anyway,
whenever i feel depressed i just wack on the jerremy kyle show


ego boost!

This show will make ya people feel better youtube it

[butt3rs]

wow thanks for the love guys, i mainly ignore what people say, they try to bring me down because they feel as shitty as i do. New year starts tomorrow, 10th grade. Most people leave my alone, there is the select few who manage to find a way into my head. Ive never defended myself, thats proboly one of the reasons ive felt shitty by what people say about me, the fact that i have no back bone to stand up for myself

[GuyGuyer of Guyland]

find something to do with yourself rather than be self conscience, forreal. itll help. you guys feel down on yourself because you watch everyone get bigguped while you sit down an get nothin. GET YOURS. whether its knowledge, graffiti, sports or whatever. do what you do. stop sittin on the internet being sad an shit ya know?

you get what you take, if you aint gettin up to take yours. you aint gettin shit. look on the bright side, you live once. even pain is better than not existing. at least in my eyes. appreciate everything.

butters, do something to boost confidence. as bad as it sounds. smoke a joint or get drunk. drugs an alcohol fucks you up. but if you can control that shit in modest amounts, itll help open your third eye and boost self confidence. not sayin become a self destructive alcohlic IE me. but ya know, jam out an take it easy. dont bug on popularity. cuz everyones a loser in someone elses eyes.

[unreal180]

because ill be real with ya...life is a bitch

but if it wasa slut it would be easy

[anti-anti-crime]

Guy is right. Get up and fucking do something instead of sitting around doing nothing. One of the main things I noticed about my own depression - and other people's in the same nut house - is that when your keeping distracted and doing something, you're NOT sitting around stuck in your head, and thus, you don't feel like shit.. as much at least. Sitting around and doing nothing is probably the worst thing you could do when your suicidal.

I know I completely trailed off from what guy was actually saying, but whatever.

Right now, I'm just starting College. I left my girlfriend (honestly feel like shit about it. Not going into it though.), so I have nothing to do in my spare time. I don't make friends because I'm afraid to. I try and talk to people but I just sound retarded, and after that I just feel like shit and start putting my self down further and further until "the box," is open. The box refers to the thoughts, memories, and self hatred I have.

Suicide is starting to become a main subject in my mind, once more. I have my coping mechanisms, but like before, their going to stop working and I'm eventually going to turn to my old methods of coping, which would probably be the death of me.

Romero - Friends are tricky mother fuckers. The kind that you speak of are scavengers. Like vultures, really. They fly around looking for meat (your weed, paint, what have you.) and then leave once the carcass is picked clean. It's a depressing thought, but a lot of people are like this. Doesn't mean you shouldn't keep looking for someone down to earth about a friendship, because those people are out there too. Just look for them.

About your Mother, and your family in general. She sounds like, from what you describe of her, a miserable cunt. But look at things for the big picture. WHY is she saying that shit to you? Well it's for a couple reasons most likely:
1. She hates herself. This is a no brainer and no doubt true. People who put others down, specifically in your case, are themselves in there own eyes a failure so they must make people feel how they do. From what I've seen of it, and experienced, you can break these people down by showing it doesn't matter what they think of you.
2. She's a cunt.

Don't let her get to you, if you start telling yourself that shit and feeling it's true, you've lost. Not life, not anything, but you've lost control over your own self image. Maintain it, don't look in the mirror for days, listen to music the second you walk into the house until you slam the door behind you to leave, laugh as much as you can, smile as much as you can, frown only when you need to. Smile the tears of disappointment - laugh off the sense of loneliness.

Depression is a disease. It's a festering fucking sore that stays open and gets worse. It's pressure, it's stress, it's sadness, it's the very essence of pain bottled up and delivered to you unwillingly. It's hard to deal with because the pressure keeps building up and building up day by day and there's no way to release it in your mind. There is though, throw a ball against a wall, punch your pillow, or combine the two and punch a ball -- or a wall. Not literally, but you get me. It's stress that needs to be released. Like a valve, until it is turned the pressure is not leaving. I wish I could be more help on this subject, I'm great at dealing with the pain myself because I've lived with it all my life, but I'm shitty at helping other with theres.

Butters - Keep ya' head up. It's a shitty rap for being different, but eventually people will stop giving a shit. They'll leave you alone eventually. And when they do it'll get better. You'll feel better and you'll make new friends, the same as you, people who will accept you. I feel like their's more your not putting out, but whatever the issue is, don't ever consider suicide as the way out. Because if you take that route, every single person thats ever tormented you, or bullied you, or put you down wins. It might seem like they already did, but they didn't. In the end YOUR the one taking there shit, and your the one who's gunna' grow up tough as fuck because of it. When your 18, your going to notice the stress of life isn't getting to you as much as it is to others. Things don't piss you off that make others furious. This is Karma. Things will go your way, just keep on going.

[ChemDawggyJohnson]

go fucking paint instead of being all depressed and shit, after you mob ur local blvd or freeway, then lets see if you wanna off yourself, i bet you'll wanna get a nice night of sleep so you could get up and do it all over again, and again and again. you think dudes like YNOTSE would tolerate people whining about how bad there life is. Dude would probably do anything to come back just for 1 night and paint. You guys have all the time in the world, make use of it and do graffiti. You are on a graf forum, so you must be interested in it.

[Msfyt]

This thread makes me smile... I know kind of weird.
But the support in here is strong and nothing more real than words of people that have been there.

Depression gets easier as you get older, because you rely more on yourself and eventually there comes a point that you just don't care what other people think.
So sadly just toughing it out everyday works.

I'm not a big fan of this get drunk and do drugs stuff, but I did it too. And it did open my mind to stuff but that disillusion to life grows old and eventually you need to face reality. Plus don't lower your own personal expectations, raise them be better than what is going on around you.

[Teknic]

ive tried twice and im thinking about trying again...

[Teknic]

im a toy, but ive got a natural talent for graff. it makesm e forget how loneley i am and how much everything sucks. but my parents wont let me do it and im under lock and key

[unreal180]

it sounds like your about 14? surly things aint that bad.
for all you loneley mother fuckers stop sitting on the fucking internet all day! your never making friends on bombing science! If your too much of a gimp to be friencds with cool kids, go make friends with some even more gimpy cunts.

i fucking hate this tread

[/DaNk\]

Loosin it hardcore about to go off the fucking deep end. Best friend ran off with my fiancée today. Walked the streets for hours lookin for the mother fucker, and that bitch. Puttin him in acoma if i see his ass. Life's a bitch then you die. Feels like its not worth shit now. Im feel my self fallin deeper into this fucking hole. Drugs only numb it to a certin extent. Lifes shit.

[cushcota94]

Hey everyone,
I'm just getting into graff and I guess I'm a toy or whatever, since I barely started, but yeah. I can relate to this thread.
I just got out of the hospital for attempted suicide, anorexia, cutting and bulimia.
I almost got back into that shit, but instead, I picked up a pen and started sketchin graff and it's basically saved me from myself. it's what I do all day everyday now and I'm getting better at it. I hope to be there to support anyone who needs it and to get support.
Peace.
Purge

[Loki X Sho]

Loosin it hardcore about to go off the fucking deep end. Best friend ran off with my fiancée today. Walked the streets for hours lookin for the mother fucker, and that bitch. Puttin him in acoma if i see his ass. Life's a bitch then you die. Feels like its not worth shit now. Im feel my self fallin deeper into this fucking hole. Drugs only numb it to a certin extent. Lifes shit.

Sorry, man. If you look at it differently, good thing you didn't marry this bitch. Look at what kind of person she is. Better it happened before the knot was tied. Now you can relax and have time for yourself. Go do something cool that you used to do before you were together. Get a sense of yourself as yourSELF again..not as a second half. And as for your best friend. Fuck that guy dude. Let them have each other if they're sketchy. You shouldn't do drugs when you're depressed..they're supposed to help you have fun..so wait until you start to feel better before you influence your mind with other substances. You're in a rut now, but surely you'll get out of it. Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you..the good and bad things. You just took a hard fall, but your chance to get back up will come soon enough. Just wait for it, and instead of dwelling in your head, work it out. Untie the knots man...start fresh.

[Res-tooth Slims]

everyones life falls apart at some point....im going to be spending time in jail because of what i had to do the other night...i had just moved to a different city and most the people i have met so far are fucking snakes....they let me down and now im getting fucked over..i dont know what to do with my life and i hope i can make it to the good times

[-SURFA-UK]

I actually thought abot making this thread a while back
And hope that it can stay on track and be helpful to those that need it most

Sadly BS has come to realize how serious suicide can be, by loosing two of our most talented members

Ive also noticed that we arent very supportive here in our own community.
We can clearly see that in the whatyalooklike thread.

There could also be a connection in the fact that graffiti is a frowned upon by society. It's hard to make our parents, gf's, etc happy and proud when we are getting arrested and in trouble with the law.

Personally Ive also noticed (no offense to anyone) that graffiti writers tend to be the kinda person that dont fit in with other groups. Usually because as artists we see beyond just fitting in.

Anyways I dont really know what we can cover in this thread, but I'm hoping anyone out there in need of help realizes there are resources for you. People who you can turn to and who wont judge you. People like your school concuiller, kids help line, your teacher, etc and they are usually well trained to deal with depression and suicide.

Being depressed is very common, and I'm sure most people have had the thought of suicide cross their minds. So you are not alone with the pain you feel, we have all been there. The best thing to do is vent, express those feelings to someone you trust because tackeling depression alone is hard and usually we end up in our own deeper ditch of pity.

So to all you out there trying discover if life is worth it, it is but it may take alot of time before you can see that light again. Being happy doesnt happen in a heart beat it can take a whole life time, but dont rush your lifetime and end it early otherwise your pain will be passed on to others that cared deeply for you (and sadly the ones you want to feel your pain wont even care).

Here is the Canada Kids Help Line
www.kidshelp.sympatico.ca
1-800-668-6868

The Suicide Information & Education Centre
www.siec.ca/

...and the US
Natl. Referral Network for Kids In Crisis
1-800-KID-SAVE (543-7283)

National "YOUTH" Crisis Helpline
1-800-999-9999

National Hopeline Network
1-800-SUICIDE or 784-2433

SPANUSA-Suicide Prevention Advocacy Network
1-888-649-1366

Suicide Information & Education Center
1-403-245-3900

Survivors of Suicide/American Foundation of Suicide Prevention
1-800-723-7985


...and worldwide
http://www.befrienders.org/ - A 24-Hour confidential e-mail service by the Samaritans)

Sick thread i agree with most of what your saying, depends on what type of person you are aswell though bro.

[-SURFA-UK]

everyones life falls apart at some point....im going to be spending time in jail because of what i had to do the other night...i had just moved to a different city and most the people i have met so far are fucking snakes....they let me down and now im getting fucked over..i dont know what to do with my life and i hope i can make it to the good times

Keep friends close and enemies closer bro, What happened you got snitched on?

[Msfyt]

it sounds like your about 14? surly things aint that bad.
for all you loneley mother fuckers stop sitting on the fucking internet all day! your never making friends on bombing science! If your too much of a gimp to be friencds with cool kids, go make friends with some even more gimpy cunts.

i fucking hate this tread

just cause you feel lonely doesn't mean you don't have friends
depression isn't about getting outside the house or surrounding yourself with people

i know most of you will find this video kind of gay
but hey im a girl and like all inspirations of inner reflection
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7s...layer_embedded

[Loki X Sho]

i know most of you will find this video kind of gay
but hey im a girl and like all inspirations of inner reflection
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7s...layer_embedded

I love that, msfyt...thanks! <3 !!

"Lonely is a freedom that breathes easy and weightless, and lonely is healing if you make it."

seriously check out that link...she makes a lot of good points..

[Res-tooth Slims]

just cause you feel lonely doesn't mean you don't have friends
depression isn't about getting outside the house or surrounding yourself with people

thats so true ae...even when you have plenty of people around you sometimes you still feel as if your all alone...often no one else even suspects that you feel shit

@ -surfa-uk i had to beat these guys with a bar because everone who i was with ran away...not what i wanted to do..and then they snitched on me