Randomism

[Flow]

Originally posted by geezpot@Sep 3 2004, 08:40 PM
That plane pic is disturbing considering I'm flying to Paris next week.

thanks I'm now traumatized!

Don't worry, if WWII has taght us anything, the French are great at flying... oops, I guess it's actually fleeing.

Actually, just giving up would be more accurate.

Nevermind.
Sorry Frenchies.

[Logik]

Frances Military History

- Gallic Wars
- Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.

- Hundred Years War
- Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.

- Italian Wars
- Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

- Wars of Religion
- France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

- Thirty Years War
- France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

- War of Revolution
- Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

- The Dutch War
- Tied

- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
- Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

- War of the Spanish Succession
- Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

- American Revolution
- In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

- French Revolution
- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

- The Napoleonic Wars
- Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule&#33 due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

- The Franco-Prussian War
- Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

- World War I
- Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

- World War II
- Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

- War in Indochina
- Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

- Algerian Rebellion
- Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

- War on Terrorism
- France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French?", but rather "How long until France collapses?"

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage."

Or, better still, the quote from last week's Wall Street Journal: "They're there when they need you."

[SLY]

whats his name the french guy whos supposedly extremly short even though he was actually 5'4 he was a leader for long itme well italy owned the land where he as born in the mountains until liek a week b4 his birth but italy sold it to them because tax collectors got killed when ever they went in the mountains to collect taxes

[FOEone]

please tell me you're not talking about napoleon

[Logik]

Napolean?

[SLY]

YES NAPLOEAN! i forgot his name lolol but yeah him if he was born a month earlier he would never have been in power

[SkUNk]

just when i thought this would be a shitty day, the girls down the street invite me to smoke a joint with them

[SLY]

fuck i dont smoke anyone else ganja anymore either they expect u to hook em up eventualyl or will want something in return or think that youre freinds now or its laced with crack and u dont no until you cant feel your tounge. or its laced with windex to get payback for the time u sold there lil bro grass sprayed with it and u dont realize this until you start seeing lines or they start to give u a eat down as well. or its really shitty chronic and it ends up being a bigger let down then not smoking at all

[Logik]

What the fuck are you talking about.

[SkUNk]

Originally posted by SLY@Sep 3 2004, 10:59 PM
fuck i dont smoke anyone else ganja anymore either they expect u to hook em up eventualyl or will want something in return or think that youre freinds now or its laced with crack and u dont no until you cant feel your tounge. or its laced with windex to get payback for the time u sold there lil bro grass sprayed with it and u dont realize this until you start seeing lines or they start to give u a eat down as well. or its really shitty chronic and it ends up being a bigger let down then not smoking at all

woah, its my x gf and one of my friends i known for a long time... they arent tryin to kill me or any shit, and besides i dont mind smokin people back

[SLY]

u trust to many peoplei trust no oen i dont even trust myself.

[SkUNk]

Originally posted by SLY@Sep 3 2004, 11:09 PM
u trust to many peoplei trust no oen i dont even trust myself.

skitzo

[kosmo1ne]

whats wrong with skitzo foo

[hashy]

Originally posted by SLY@Sep 3 2004, 10:50 PM
whats his name the french guy whos supposedly extremly short even though he was actually 5'4 he was a leader for long itme well italy owned the land where he as born in the mountains until liek a week b4 his birth but italy sold it to them because tax collectors got killed when ever they went in the mountains to collect taxes

that is the worst description of napolean i ever heard

[kosmo1ne]

napolean was a tough little fucker...:lol:

[SkUNk]

those fiends, i go out to smoke a joint with them and they drop me a roach, on my bday well a roach is a roach

[hashy]

Originally posted by kosmo1ne@Sep 4 2004, 12:40 AM
napolean was a tough little fucker...:lol:

second worst =p

[SLY]

Originally posted by hashy+Sep 4 2004, 12:35 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (hashy @ Sep 4 2004, 12:35 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-SLY@Sep 3 2004, 10:50 PM
whats his name the french guy whos supposedly extremly short even though he was actually 5&#39;4 he was a leader for long itme well italy owned the land where he as born in the mountains until liek a week b4 his birth but italy sold it to them because tax collectors got killed when ever they went in the mountains to collect taxes

that is the worst description of napolean i ever heard [/b][/quote]
i said he was supposedly short liek he is in cartoons and he was french and that he was a leader for a long time thats great discription

[SLY]

Originally posted by SkUNk@Sep 4 2004, 12:43 AM
those fiends, i go out to smoke a joint with them and they drop me a roach, on my bday well a roach is a roach

wow i use to get dimes for free for no reason at all... btu thats pathetic a roach... dont any of ur freinds chop? its great when they do especially when htey need money cuz then they&#39;ll sell u a half quarter for liek 20 or 25 lol this kid wanted to sell me ahlf quarter for 50 who the fuck pays 50 for a half quarter??? most ive ever paid for good quality bud was 35 for a half quarter...

[the_uniBOMBER]

Just keeping up with this whole French military thing we have going here, try this out.

1. Go to Google
2. Type in "French Military Victories"
3. Hit the "I&#39;m Feeling Lucky" button
4. Notice anything?



Also works with "Miserable Failure" (i&#39;ve posted that one before).