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Thread: Jokes...

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  1. #1

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    share ur jokes nothin to it relly make some one laugh.....ill start


    "Ride 'em Cowboy!"
    Two cowboys are talking over a beer, discussing various sex positions.

    The first cowboy says his favorite position is the "rodeo". The other cowboy asks what the position is, and how to do it ? The first cowboy says,

    "You tell your wife to get on the bed on all fours and then do it doggy style. Once things start to get under way and she's really enjoying it, lean forward and whisper in her ear : "Your sister likes this position too."


    Then try to hang on for 8 seconds

    aCId II
    peace
    "heresy grows from idleness"
    i wake up every morning and ask: what does god have instore for me today...?
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  2. #2

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    It seems the old joke thread got deleted.


    A giraffe walks into a bar and says the high balls are on me.

    A string walks into a bar and the bartender says "hey we don't serve strings here!" and the string replies "I'm not a string, i'm afraid not" (frayed knot, get it?)

    A man from florida walks into a bar with an alligator under his arm and he asks the bartender "Do you serve ******s?". "Well of course we do sir, we aren't prejudice here". "Good" says the man "I'll have a beer, and a ****** for my alligator"

  3. #3

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    im not racist but this is just funny..

    -what does nike shoes and the kkk have in common...they both make "black poeple" run faster..

    -i lOVe tOYs-

  4. #4

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    im not racist either but thats funny as...............
    The smoker, alcoholic and homosexual

    Three desperately ill men met with their doctor one day to discuss their options. One was an alcoholic, one was a chain smoker, and one was a homosexual.

    The doctor, addressing all three of them, said, "If any of you indulge in your vices one more time, you will surely die."

    The men left the doctor's office, each convinced that he would never again indulge himself in his vice.

    While walking toward the subway for their return trip to the suburbs, they passed a bar. The alcoholic, hearing the loud music and smelling the ale, could not stop himself.

    His buddies accompanied him into the bar, where he had a shot of whiskey. No sooner had he replaced the shot glass on the bar, he fell off his stool, stone cold dead.

    His companions, somewhat shaken, left the bar, realizing how seriously they must take the doctor's words. As they walked along, they came upon a cigarette butt lying on the ground, still burning.

    The homosexual looked at the chain smoker and said,

    "If you bend over to pick that up, we're both dead."
    "heresy grows from idleness"
    i wake up every morning and ask: what does god have instore for me today...?
    nz forum
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  5. #5
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    Oh I've got one, again I'm not racist

    There was this Moma Duck and a Moma Skunk. They are bestest friends. And eventually, they have 1 child each. The Baby Duck and Baby Skunk know each other, but aren't best friends....

    So, one day, sadly the Moma Duck and the Moma Skunk die. So the two babies are left alone.

    And another day, the Baby Duck sees the baby Skunk. The baby Duck says, "Help Baby Skunk, I don't know what I am!" The Baby Skunk replies, "You've got feathers, you're yellow, and gotta beak, so you're most likely a duck." The Baby Duck says, " Thanks you Baby Skunk!"

    Two days later, the Baby Skunk crosses paths with the Baby Duck. The Baby Skunk asks, "Help Baby Duck, I don't know what I am!"

    The Baby Duck says, "You're half white, half black, and you stink like shit, so you're most likely a Puerto Rican..."

  6. #6

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    i aint racist so here are some quickies

    Why do mexicans have low-riders?
    So they can gather strawberries faster

    What do you call a mexican crossed with a octapus?
    I dont know but it sure can pick alot of strawberries

    Why doesnt jesus play hockey?
    He keeps on getting nailed to the boards (yes... i went there)

    What did the black boy get for christmas?
    My bike

    What do you call a black girl with braces?
    A black n decker pecker wrecker

    Why doesnt cuba have a olympic team?
    Cause all the cubans that can swim,run and bike are already in the states

    Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
    She didnt wanna get hearing aids!

    Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
    she kept on throwing away the W's

    What do lesbians do when they have their periods?
    Finger-Paint

    Why were the faggots late for their plane?
    They had to pack their shit

    i got lots more but my brain is tired

    maybe later

    Animal Fuckin Model Bitches Till I Leave Their Stick Figure Anorexic Pussy In Stitches

  7. #7

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    racist mo fuckas

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    not racist niether but heres a funny one

    how do you get a black guy out of your car?.................throw in a job application

    heres a animal joke

    ok we all know that the king of the juncle is the lion.
    well one day the lion had a soretooth and told everyone to bring him soft foods and drinks.
    Then he said if you bring me something hard to eat i'll shove it up your ass, So the giraff brought him some smashed bananas. The lion said "thank you giraff thayou for the bananas"
    then the rhino brought him some apple sauce. The lion said "thank you rhino thank you for the apple sauce"
    Then a squirl brught him some nuts and the lion said " i told you if you bring me something hard to eat i'll shove it up your assm now bend over"
    so the squirl did and the lion shoved the first one in and the squirl started to laugh.
    the lion looking confused put the next one in and the squirl laughed even harder.
    then the lion put the last one in and the squirl was laughing really hard.
    the lion then asked "why are you laughing?" the squirl said "the monkeys that were behined me out side got coconuts and i know thats going to hurt."
    All Good Things Must Come To A End.
    It hurts 2 be here.
    RIP Mac Dre
    RIP Tues LAC VSB

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    hey its not like were dissing any body i hav dark colored skin so shut the fuk up if u dont got no jokes "mo fucka"..........newbie
    aCId II
    "heresy grows from idleness"
    i wake up every morning and ask: what does god have instore for me today...?
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    im takin ta u law........
    Oral Sex Medicine
    A woman is in a coma. Nurses are in her room giving her a sponge bath.

    One of them is washing her "private area" and notices that there is a response on the monitor when she's touched there. So they go to her husband and explain what happened, telling him,

    "Crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma."

    The husband is skeptical, but they assure him that they'll close the
    curtains for privacy. Anything is worth a try, the husband thinks so
    he finally agrees and goes into his wife's room.

    After a few minutes the woman's monitor shows a flatline... no pulse...no heart rate.

    The nurses run into the room. The husband is standing there, pulling
    up his pants and says,

    "I think she choked."


    Can't Swim
    Dave walks into a bar and sees John sitting at the end of the bar counter with a great big smile on his face. Dave says "John what are you so happy for?"

    "Well Dave, I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat, and a redhead came up to me... tits out to here, Dave, tits out to here! She says "Can I have a ride in your boat?" "I said 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, Dave. I turned off the key and I said 'Its either screw or swim!'
    She couldn't swim, Dave, she couldn't swim!!."

    The next day Dave walks into a bar and sees John sitten at the end of the bar counter with a bigger smile on his face. Dave says "What are you so happy about today John?"

    "Well Dave... I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat and a BEAUTIFUL blond came up to me... tits out to here, Dave, tits out to here! She said 'Can I have a ride in your boat?' "Sure you can have a ride in my boat." So I took her way out, Dave, way out much further than the last one. I turned off the key and I said 'Its either screw or swim!'
    She couldn't swim!!, Dave, she couldn't swim!!!!."

    A couple days pass and Dave walks into a bar and sees John down there crying over a beer. Dave says "John, what are you so sad for?"

    "Well Dave, I gotta tell ya.... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat, and the most desirable brunette came up to me... tits WAY out to here, Dave, tits WAY out to here. I had more wood than my boat does. She says "Can I have a ride in your boat?"

    "Sure you can have a ride in my boat."So I took her way out, Dave, way WAY out... much further than the last two. I turned off the key, and looked at her tits and said 'Its either screw or swim!!'. Then, she pulled down her pants.... she had a dick, Dave !!! She had a great BIG dick!!! .....

    ....Dave, ..... I CAN'T SWIM!!!"
    "heresy grows from idleness"
    i wake up every morning and ask: what does god have instore for me today...?
    nz forum
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  11. #11

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    how many black people does it take to single a roof?

    3 if you slice em real thin

  12. #12

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    i am racist...

    Why do black people only have nightmares?..
    because the last one that had a dream got shot

    what is the difference between a jew and a pizza?...
    my pizzas don't scream when i put them in the oven

  13. #13

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    :lol:
    Parfum?
    Two blondes walk up to a perfume counter. The first one picks up a sample bottle, sprays it on her wrist, smells it, and says, "That's nice, don't you think, Tracy?"

    Tracy says, "Yeah. What's it called, Sharon?"

    Sharon says, "Viens a moi."

    Tracy says, "Viens a moi? What's that mean?"

    The store clerk says, "Viens a moi, ladies, is French for 'Come to me.'"

    Sharon takes another sniff and says:
    "That doesn't smell like come to me. Does it smell like come to you?"


    Honey-Woney
    A man comes home after a hard day's work, and is looking forward to relaxing. He pours himself a glass of wine, eats a delicious home-cooked meal prepared by his wife, and goes up to his bedroom, where he and his wife have separate beds.
    His wife follows him up a few minutes later. "Honey-woney," the man says, "I just want to thank you for fixing me such a delicious meal. I am blessed to have such a wife as you."
    He then turns out the light and tries to sleep. After several minutes he finds he can't nod off.
    "Sweety pie," he calls out, "I'm lonely."
    His wife gets out of bed and makes her way accross the room, but she slips and bangs her nose.
    "Did my little bunny fall and hurt her nosey-wosey?" the man asks, as his wife climbs in bed with him.
    There follows a 3 hour session of sex. When the couple have finished, the wife heads back over to her own bed, and as she goes she slips up a second time.
    "Clumsy Bitch," the man mutters


    If Monkeys Could Talk

    A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said "I wish you could talk."
    The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down.
    "You can understand what I'm saying?" asked the officer.
    Again, the monkey shook his head up and down.

    "Well, did you see this?"

    "Yes," motioned the monkey.

    "What happened?"

    The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth.

    "They were drinking?" asked the officer.

    "Yes."

    "What else?"

    The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth.

    "They were smoking marijuana?"
    "Yes."

    "Now wait, you're saying your owners were drinking, and smoking marijauana before they wrecked."

    "Yes."

    "What were you doing during all this?"


    "Driving" motioned the monkey.


    Attorneys and Physicians
    Two attorneys boarded a flight out of Seattle. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before take-off, a physician got on and took the aisle seat next to the two attorneys.

    The physician kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the attorney in the window seat said,
    "I think I'll get up and get a coke.
    "No problem," said the physician, "I'll get it for you."

    While he was gone, one of the attorneys picked up the physician's shoe and spat in it. When the physician returned with the coke, the other attorney said,
    "That looks good, I think I'll have one too."

    Again, the physician obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the other attorney picked up the other shoe and spat in it. The Physician returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.

    As the plane was landing, the physician slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.

    "How long must this go on?" he asked. "This fighting between our professions? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and peeing in cokes?"



    Presidential Collection
    A man on his way home from work at the Pentagon came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing's even moving."

    He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars so he rolls down his window and asks, "Excuse me Officer, what's the hold up?"

    The Officer replies, "The President just found out he was impeached and he's all depressed. He stopped his motorcade in the middle of the Beltway and he's threatening to douse himself in gasoline and set himself on fire. He says his family hates him and he doesn't have the $33.5 million he owes his lawyers. I'm walking around taking up a collection for him."

    "Oh really? How much have you collected so far?"
    "I've got a lot of folks still siphoning; but right now I have about three hundred gallons
    !!
    "heresy grows from idleness"
    i wake up every morning and ask: what does god have instore for me today...?
    nz forum
    -dfa-crew-represent-

  14. #14

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    Originally posted by Law@Oct 23 2004, 06:52 PM
    racist mo fuckas
    Law you are truly an idiot. At the beggining of their posts they type "not racist but.." and then tell their jokes. That means they are not racist .

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    i agree he is an idiot.......
    GREATER LOS ANGELES AREA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION:

    Name: ____________________
    Stage name: __________________________
    Agent's Name: __________________________
    Attorney's Name: _______________________

    Actual Age: _____ Admitted Age: _____

    Sex: [ ] male [ ] female
    [ ] formerly male [ ] formerly female
    [ ] both [ ] neither

    If female, indicate breast implant size: _______

    Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely operate a motor vehicle in any way?
    Yes [ ] No [ ]


    Occupation:

    [ ] Lawyer
    [ ] Actor/Waiter
    [ ] Film-maker/Self-employed
    [ ] Writer
    [ ] Car Dealer
    [ ] Pan-handler
    [ ] Agent
    [ ] Hooker/Transvestite
    [ ] Other; please explain: ___________________________


    Please list brand of cell phone: ________________________
    (If you don't own a cell phone, please explain.)

    Please check hair color:
    Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde
    Teenagers: [ ] Purple [ ] Blue [ ] Skin-head
    Men: Please list shade of hair plugs ________________

    Please indicate if you have Automobile Insurance:
    [ ] Yes [ ] No
    If Yes, please explain:


    Please check activities you perform while driving (Check all that apply):

    [ ] Eating a wrap
    [ ] Applying make-up
    [ ] Talking on the phone
    [ ] Slapping kids in the back seat
    [ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
    [ ] Tanning
    [X] Snorting cocaine (already checked for ease of application)
    [ ] Watching TV
    [ ] Reading Variety
    [ ] Surfing the net via laptop
    [ ] Reading a book or other Newspaper


    Please indicate how many times:
    a) you expect to shoot at other drivers, _____
    B) and how many times you expect to be shot at while driving ___.


    If you are the victim of a car-jacking, you should immediately:
    a) [ ] Call the police to report the crime;
    B) [ ] Call Channel 4 News to report the crime, then watch your TV;
    c) [ ] Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular phone company for 911 call not going through;
    d) [ ] Call your therapist;
    e) [ ] None of the above (South Central residents only).


    Please indicate if you drive:
    a) [ ] a BMW,
    B) [ ] a Lexus,
    c) [ ] a Mercedes,
    d) [ ] a Cabriolet.
    If your answer is d, please add 6 to 8 weeks to normal delivery time for your driver's license.


    In the event of an earthquake, should you:
    a) [ ] stop your car
    B) [ ] keep driving and hope for the best,
    c) [ ] immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones
    d) [ ] pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel?


    In the instance of rain, you should:
    a) [ ] never drive over 5 MPH,
    B) [ ] drive twice as fast as usual, or
    c) [ ] you're not sure what "rain" is.

    Please indicate number of therapy sessions per week: ____.

    Are you presently taking any of the following medications?
    (Check all that apply.)
    a) [ ] Prozac;
    B) [ ] Zovirax;
    c) [ ] Lithium;
    d) [ ] Zanax.

    If none, please explain: __________________.



    Length of daily commute:
    a) [ ] 1 hour;
    B) [ ] 2 hours;
    c) [ ] 3 hours;
    d) [ ] 4 hours or more.
    If under 1 hour, please explain:

    When stopped by police, should you
    a) [ ] pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form ready,
    B) [ ] try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the 405,
    c) [ ] have video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit?
    "heresy grows from idleness"
    i wake up every morning and ask: what does god have instore for me today...?
    nz forum
    -dfa-crew-represent-

  16. #16

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    Originally posted by Pinkstin..@Oct 23 2004, 07:12 PM
    Why do black people only have nightmares?..
    because the last one that had a dream got shot

    :lol:
    i laughed out so fuckin loud
    :lol:
    classic

    Animal Fuckin Model Bitches Till I Leave Their Stick Figure Anorexic Pussy In Stitches

  17. #17

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    Redneck Trucker
    A Roadway driver is driving east on Route 66 he sees a truck driving west and the CB crackles to life .
    "Hey Roadway driver whos the two biggest poofs in America?" comes from the CB.

    The Roadway driver replies . "I don't know" .

    The other trucker says " You and your brother ".

    Well the Roadway driver gets all annoyed but the other driver tells him "Its just a joke - tell it to the next truck you see."

    Well the Roadway driver drives for about an hour an finally sees another truck .he gets on the CB and says " Hey other truck do you know who the two biggest poofs in the world are?"

    The other trucker says " I don't know who?"

    The roadway driver replies " Me and my brother


    Drink Driving
    During the big DUI Dragnet, a Highway Patrolman waited outside a popular local bar, hoping for a bust.

    At closing time as everyone came out, he spotted his potential quarry. The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, looking for his car. After trying his keys on five others, he finally found his own vehicle.

    He sat in the car a good ten minutes as the other patrons left. He turned his lights on, then off, wipers on then off. He started to pull forward into the grass, then stopped. Finally when he was the last car, he pulled out onto the road and started to drive away.

    The Patrolman, waiting for this, turned on his lights and pulled the man over. He administered the breathalizer test, and to his great surprise the man blew a 0.00! The Patrolman was dumbfounded!

    "This equipment must be broken!" exclaimed the Patrolman.

    "I doubt it," said the drunk, "tonight I'm the Designated Decoy!"


    The Halloween Ball
    A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.

    The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party. In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.

    She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.

    She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang.

    Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.

    She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had. He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."
    Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"

    He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But I'll tell you... the guy I loaned my costume to sure had a real good time!"



    Been Drinking?"
    This bloke is happily driving along in his car when he's pulled over by the police. A policeman approaches him and asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?"
    "Why?" asks the man, "Was I all over the road?"

    "No" replies the policeman, "You were driving splendidly. The ugly fat bird in the passenger seat gave it away


    Twick or Treat?
    One Halloween this woman opens her door to find the most adorable little girl, with golden blond curly hair and the biggest blue eyes.
    She was dressed as an Angel, and was just delightful. The woman said, "what are you supposed to say sweetheart?"
    The little girl looks up at the woman and says "Twick or Tweat!"
    The woman thinks this is just adorable, and she calls her husband to come to the door. The woman say to the child, "Go ahead honey say it just one more time."
    Once again the little Angel looks up and says, "Twick or Tweat!"
    The husband agrees with his wife, this little Angel is just the cutest thing. The woman picks an apple from the Treat Bowl, shines it up with her apron, and drops it into the little girl's Treat Bag.

    The little Angel looks in her bag then looks up at the woman and says, "Thanks a lot lady, you just broke my fucking cookies!"


    A GENEROUS Lawyer?"
    One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

    "Why are you eating grass?", he asked one man.

    "We don't have any money for food.", the poor man replied.

    "Oh, come along with me then."

    "But sir, I have a wife with two children!"

    "Bring them along! And you, come with us too!", he said to the other man.

    "But sir, I have a wife with six children!" the second man answered.

    "Bring them as well!"

    They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
    The lawyer replied, "No problem, the grass at my home is about two feet tall."


    Who Said That?
    It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in her grades. There is really nothing to do and all the kids are restless. The teacher says, "Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave early today."
    Little Johnny says to himself, "Good, I want to get outta here I'm smart and will answer the question".
    The teacher asked "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?
    Before Johnny could open his mouth, Joya said, "Abraham Lincoln".
    The teacher said, "That's right Joya. You can go".
    Johnny was MAD. The teacher asked, "Who said, 'I Have a Dream'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth, Mary said, "Martin Luther King".
    "That's right Mary. You can go".

    Johnny was even MADDER than before. The teacher asked, "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth, Marol said, "John Kennedy".
    "That's right Marol. You can go".

    Johnny was BOILING MAD. Then the teacher turned her back, and Johnny said, "I wish these women would keep their mouths shut".

    The teacher asked, "WHO SAID THAT?" Johnny said, "BILL CLINTON, CAN I GO NOW?"


    The Efficient Maid
    A lawyer who works in Texas gets a call about an emergency which requires him to immediately fly out of the state for a short period of time. He has no time to pack, so he calls home to tell his wife he is going.
    The maid answers the call, but is quite hesitant about putting his wife on the phone. After quite a bit of interrogation, she admits that the wife is upstairs in bed with the mailman! The lawyer is furious, and wants to rush right home, but of course there is this emergency he must take care of.
    So instead, he tells the maid to go get the gun from the desk drawer and kill both his wife and the mailman. She protests! The lawyer explains that under Texas law it is legal to kill your adulterous wife and her lover. Using his silver tongue, he finally convinces her to do it.
    She puts down the phone, and soon the lawyer hears the sound of two gun shots, a scream, some loud thumps, and finally, two splashes.
    The maid comes back to the phone.
    The lawyer asks, "Did you kill them?"

    "Yes," she replies.
    The lawyer questions her again,
    "What did you do with the bodies?"
    "I threw them in the pool," she responds.
    There is a brief pause from the lawyer. He asks her, "Did you say the pool?"
    "Yes! I threw them in the pool!" she says.
    "Uh, is this 555-8904?"


    Those four-letter words
    A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. Her mother asked, "How was the honeymoon?"
    "Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..."
    Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language...things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4 letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home.... Please mama!"
    "Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?"
    "Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed they're just too awful! Come get me, please!"
    "Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset.... Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"

    Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, mama...words like DUST, WASH, IRON, COOK...!"

    Horny Gorilla :lol:
    It was a warm, sunny Sunday, so a man and his wife decided to take in the zoo. They spent the day and at closing time they walked past the gorilla cage and the man noticed the gorilla looking at his wife.
    "That gorilla is getting excited just looking at your tits," he said. "Why don't you take your blouse off and we'll see what he does?"
    At first she declined but finally persuaded by her husband, she took off her blouse and bra. The gorilla went nuts. He started grunting and jumping up and down.
    "Hey," the husband said, "let's really blow his mind. Take off all your clothes and we'll see what he does." Again she said no and again he persuaded her. This time the ape really went bananas! He climbed up and down the bars, did flips, ran around in circles and tossed his food all over the cage.
    The husband went over to the cage, opened the door and
    pushed his wife in.

    "Now," said the husband with an evil smile, "tell *HIM*, you have a headache!"

    :lol: :P :lol:
    "heresy grows from idleness"
    i wake up every morning and ask: what does god have instore for me today...?
    nz forum
    -dfa-crew-represent-

  18. #18

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    this is a fucked up joke

    what do apples and black people have in common?....they both hang from trees

  19. #19

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    A man is driving home from a business trip. It's been a long drive and he's getting kind of lonely, and he wishes he had someone to talk to. Then along the road he spys a navaho man hitchiking his way to the next town. So he stops and lets the man in. They chat for a while but then it gets quiet. The man notices the navaho man looking at a brown package that the man had in the backseat. The man says "it's a bottle of wine, i got it for my wife." The navaho man knods and says "good trade".

  20. #20

    Default

    how do you get 50 dead babies into a phone booth?

    a blender.















































    how do you get them out?






























































































    tostitos.

    </div><table border=\'0\' align=\'center\' width=\'95%\' cellpadding=\'3\' cellspacing=\'1\'><tr><td>QUOTE (ehobo &#064; Feb 23 2005, 09:31 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id=\'QUOTE\'> i no whats going on here he likes dicks </td></tr></table><div class=\'signature\'>


 

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