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Thread: Jokes...

  1. #341

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    Originally posted by TeK89MadeE781@Mar 17 2005, 07:39 AM
    not really a joke but itd make a funny komersial in my oppinion, you know those adds where they say brought to you by?

    The Nine-Eleven Tragedies: Brought To You By America Airlines




    sorry to those who get offended, me and my friends were talkin bout 9-11 and came up wit a few but w/e
    you faggot mother fucker that shit aint funny.


    if your gonna tell a 9-11 joke make it a good one


    what was the last thing the twin towers ordered from the pizza place?













    2 large plains (planes)

    ps. i like scarfaces sig. do your country a favor.

  2. #342

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    time to pull some funnies


    One morning a man tells his coworker her hair smells nice. The
    woman gets enraged, storms into her supervisors office and
    declares she's filing a sexual harrassment suit. "come on." says
    the supervisor. "What's wrong with a guy saying your hair smells
    nice?"
    "He's a FUCKEN MIDGET."


    Knock Knock
    Who's there?
    Atch!
    Atch who?
    I'm sorry I didn't know you had a cold!

    Your Momma's so fat, when she blinks, her eyelids clap!
    Your Mama is so stupid, she sits on the Television and watches the sofa.
    Yo mamma's so fat, when she wears a red dress, the kids in the neighborhood yell, "Hey, Kool-Aid!"
    Yo mamma's so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, skittles popped out.
    Yo mamma's so stupid, she stared at a Ford for an hour because it said "Focus."
    Yo mamma's so poor, when I went into her house a cockroach tripped me and an ant stole my wallet.
    Yo Mama so poor that when you asked what was for dinner yo mama put her foot on the table, pointed to her feet, and said "Corn"

  3. #343
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    heres a joke website
    www.thejokeyard.com

  4. #344
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    your mums so fat that when she went to the farm all the pigs started singing to her 'were family, we are family'

  5. #345

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    thats not original
    post your own
    silly

  6. #346

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    Originally posted by toxus@Mar 17 2005, 02:14 PM
    your mums so fat that when she went to the farm all the pigs started singing to her 'were family, we are family'

  7. #347
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    one day pinoccho goes to his dad ''my dick is to rough, whenever i try to shag the girls i get splinters.'' his dad says ''here is a bit of sandpaper to smooth it down with''
    1 week later piniccho's dad says, ''so, has that sandpaper helped with the girls?'' toi which pinnocho replys..''girls? who needs girls?''

  8. #348

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    :lol:

  9. #349
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    bit harsh,
    santa never visited thailand for christmas, he gave them a wave

  10. #350

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    Originally posted by toxus@Mar 17 2005, 02:17 PM
    bit harsh,
    santa never visited thailand for christmas, he gave them a wave
    you're going to hell :lol:




    what's the diffrence between a jew and a pizza?


    The pizza doesnt scream when ya put it in the oven

  11. #351

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    your moms so fat when god said let their be light he told her to move


    THE PEACOCK JOKE
    one day at the mall an old dude was sitting on a bench
    a teen with spikey blue black purple pink green hair came over to the bench and sat down
    when the teen looked over he realized the old man was staring at him
    so the teen asked"what old man, never done anything crazy?"
    the old man replied "got drunk once and had sex with a peacock, and i was just wondering if you were my son."
    practice practice practice!

  12. #352

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    One day, farmer Jones was in town picking up supplies for his farm. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a bucket and an anvil. Then, he stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a couple of chickens and a goose. However, he now had a problem how to carry all of his purchases home. The livestock dealer said, "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?" "Hey, thanks!" the farmer said, and off he went. While walking he met a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1515 Mockingbird Lane?" The farmer said, "Well, as a matter of fact, I live at 1616 Mockingbird Lane. Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time." The little old lady said, "I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and ravish me?" The farmer said, "Holy smokes lady! I am carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?" The lady said, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens."


  13. #353
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    Whats funner than swinging around a baby attached to a stick with a rope?

    Stopping it with a shovel.

  14. #354

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    People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. 'I know where my watch is buddy, where the fuck is yours?' Do we point at our crotch when we ask where the toilet is?

    People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

    When people say, 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too.' Piss off. What good is a goddamn cake if you can't eat it?

    When people say, ?It's always in the last place you'd look.' Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do some people do this? Who and where are they?

    When people say, while watching a movie, 'Did you see that?' No, shit-for-brains, I paid $15 to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking ceiling up there. What did you come here for?

    People who ask, ?Can I ask you a question?' don't really give you a choice, do they?

    When something is 'new and improved' - which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

    When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going, say: ?You should know, arse hole, you pulled me over.'
    You want to know what I'll do...Just
    ask yourself what you'll do... and
    I'll do the same.... only more of it-Malcolm X

  15. #355

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    there was an old blind guy walkin down the street with his cane and he walked by a fish market, took a deep breath and said Good Morning Ladies !


  16. #356
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    Whats the difference between a Tea cup and a Pee cup?
    A tea cups is to drink tea out of, a Pee cup is what a Mexican drives.

    Why dosen't Jesus eat Skittles?


    <span style=\'font-size:21pt;line-height:100%\'><span style=\'color:yellow\'>Its funny how people will sit there and say their citys better than another city and haven&#39;t even been to CHICAGO, not that if you had you&#39;d admit that your city sucks in compairison, but then at least you&#39;d know.</span></span>
    <span style=\'color:green\'>EXCUSES EXCUSES</span>
    &quot;I wanna be a buffer so I can get paid for lining you toys...&quot;

  17. #357

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    Why is Six Afraid Of Seven?

    Cause Seven Eight Nine

    :lol:

  18. #358
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    Originally posted by aCId II nz@Oct 23 2004, 07:08 PM
    hey its not like were dissing any body i hav dark colored skin so shut the fuk up if u dont got no jokes "mo fucka"..........newbie
    aCId II
    lol I like it when acid get&#39;s mad................Makes me tingle I think
    You see a little snotty nosed kid with his dirty sneakers on backwards

    sleepin on the corner everytime i got to make a sell,

    at times i wonder are we going to hell,
    or does god see we trying to make it as well..

  19. #359

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    Originally posted by Whoa@Mar 28 2005, 11:00 AM
    Why is Six Afraid Of Seven?

    Cause Seven Eight Nine

    :lol:
    haha classic&#33; :lol:
    That's why AA is my fuckin American Idol
    witty comments like this makes this guy a star
    ^Whoa

    heh, it's funny cuz his name is alcoholics anonymous, and we're speaking as if it was a...

    oh hell, you all know why it's funny
    ^FoeOne

    haha

    yo you gotta problem today, hit up AA, he got more shit then a pharm-ma-say

    sucka ass fools!

    whut whut

    yo theme song
    ^Gesus

    did you seriously just spell lion with an e
    ^E Terror sonnn

  20. #360
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    hah, that it is that it is.
    QUOTE Joust, will you marry me ?

    QUOTE Joust cant flow' but he still rides on tewntyfo's.


    QUOTE waste 12 is jesus. and even jesus liked KFC biscuits... and was maybe a bit oriental...

    RIP





    QUOTE (TrashCan @ Aug 15 2006, 08:23 PM) is that a horse eating his dick?
    What the fuck else u think they eat??? hay?


 

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