see where the lines over-lap? it makes yer throw-up look layered and 2-dimensional. you want either a straight one-dimension throw up or give it some pop with some 3D (a drop shadow helps, but think loops and curves). i had this same problem for the first two years of bombing heavily. just play around with it and avoid making your paint-pattern obvious. for instance, its clear you start yer tag from the top-left corner and move right and down. i mean, thats a natural progression, but dont make it so obvious. na'mean? also, work on that flair. that comes with experience, but get more comfortable with yer can control before you move onto fancy stuff
this is just too boxy. curves, curves, curves. the concaves just dont work and (no offense) kinda scream "im new". secondly, the outline shows big blotches on every corner. this suggests a lack of confidence. in the graff game, everything is ego, so if you look insecure, yer gonna get clowned. yer outline should be a solid, fluid motion. again, this comes with practice. just keeping painting it over and over and over until you can paint that shit in yer sleep.
hope im not coming off as harsh, just trying to help you improve. because foeone cares.