Getting outta my car then I hear a loud *SMACK* and my foot was southbound hoping to meet the cement but instead I hear a scraping sound, I look down and see my phone under my shoe now the left side is all scratched and half the call button is scratch off...oh well it looked good for the first four months lol

 

things are all good now,,if anyone cared lol

 

trying to sneak a bite of a cheeseburger in the middle of drunk sex.

 

my girl just deleted the pix n took sum of her instead

 

Dayum bro, I've deleted nude pics off my phone cause I got a new girlfriend then we break up and I kick myself for deleting the fuckers rofl. Awell got another girlfriend now so all sweet. And LOL @ DirtyDozen gjb

 

hahahahahahahahahahaha. That's so classic.

 

pictures of others girlz?? u save those shits kheds. email.

 

well i wanted some microwaveable burritos so i pulled 2 out looked at the directions. 1min 15secs add 1min 15secs to every additional unit. so just to be safe i added 10 extra secs. so once they were done i pulled them out but they werent that soft so i kept adding more time thinking i had defective burritos. then i thought about it. i put the time on 1min 40 secs instead of 2 mins 40 secs. fucking a

 

i woke up today and realized i spend every chance i get on bombingscience and 4chan. fuck.

 

WELL I came around a corner off a really fucking bumpy road in the wet, turned the corner dunno what happened ran up the gutter got back down tried to drive sounded like the bumper was scrapping got out that was fine everything fine, look at my wheel it's smashed in and apparently some CV bs is broken in my gearbox luls.
Tis fucked I just got it.

 

look at the bright side, u had ur car all weekend

 

Trying to ride a fixie for the first time and going over the handle bars and fucking up your friends bike in the process.

 

went to scratch my choda today and my finger slipped through the new hole in my boxers and hit my butthole (didn't go in), but no way was i about to scratch my eye without washing my hands!

not much of a fail i guess.... still sucked.

 

how bout when you scratch your balls secretly through a pocket or something and accidently end up pinching your ball. shits terrible. the scratch feels good until you squeeze your ball/s.

 

some of the worst ball pain is when you're biking somewhere and a ball gets pinched between your leg and the seat. it wouldn't be so bad if you didn't have to bike back to where you came from.

i've never pinched a ball in my pocket. but i've nutted myself doing the worm and playing squash (hit my junk from a serve the second time playing, almost barfed).

what a horrible feeling.

 

you nutted doing the worm? LMAO you probably got SUPER intense once the sensation started

 

yeah i can't really do the worm very well.... i was in jeans and i guess they had my shit in a bunch that i didn't notice until it was too late.

fack.

luckily i was alone at the time and spared myself some embarrassment.

 

haha thats HILARIOUS. you had to feel it coming though. or did you?

 

i was hammered.... so.... no. didnt' feel it coming.

i've also made the mistake of trying the worm with keys in my pocket. haha i'm a retard.