when ever i eat hotdogs i get two and put only ketchup on one and ketchup and mustard on the other.

 

from my knees to my ankles, im completely hairless.

 

Im currently on probation for stealing a $5 Ipod case at a local ross the day I was skipping with some friends. I have to pee in front of a creepy ass guy who looks exactly like the guy who used to advertise oxy clean and all that other shit with a beard that recently died even though I dont do drugs, 3 times a month.

 

you get -20 points for not knowing billy mays. fucking kids....

 

Lol yeah that guy. The first time I went to cuba I asked my mom really loudly where fidel castro was. She almost got arrested.

 

i get a weird feeling that when i shit someone is listening by the door and that a snake or rat/mouse is guna climb out the toilet and bite my dick. and i dont even live in a bad place like that

 

I said that the day I broke my thumb and got two operations for it rofl.

ME TOO!

And my random fact is that I dunno atm.

 

I've become a netflix junkie

Haven't had cereal in years.

 

Green eyes, between 5'8 - 5'10

 

I get that feeling alot too. I cant take a shit unless theres no one in my house.

 

HA I hate taking one at other peoples houses. And today I was doing one at my girlfriends cause I'm like yeah man her mums on the phone and shes been awhile so I will take one and as soon as I go she walks right into the laundry and starts doing laundry while I'm taking a shit. Sucks.

 

i cant masturbate and cum, a girl has to do it for me

 

So I take it you don't get to ejaculate that much!? amirite

 

pause

 

i suffer from vertigo, bad knees, sleep paralysis, migranes, and what i believe to be ibs, and also chest pains sometimes.

 

I'm a nerd, i really bad nerd. i'm the guy on the other end of xbox calling you a n00b and that i fucked your mom. But if you saw me or heard the way i spoke, you would never ever know it. i'm like 2 different people when it comes to my tech. And yet i am the worst speller and reader ever, and i dropped out of HS. o_0 and thats my life =D.

 

i am a premature baby

 

I used to write things with my own shit on the walls when i was a baby. Born to write! lol

 

once a year out comes a bucket full, my nuts are the size of baseballs and i have a 19 inch penis

edit: jk troll'd