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Blackbooks

Discussion in 'Toys forum' started by Kayone707, Jun 15, 2005.

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  1. dankbudz

    dankbudz Elite Member

    • Messages: 1,759
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    squared- thats mad fresh, i like how you colored that ish
    rasm- i would of leveled out the top of the T more and not done the full pointed end on the left. for the A i feel if the left bar was turned the other way, and the middle bar was regular it would look more solid, and the right squiggle part of the R make that straight.

    self crits: I like the S, but it needs work in the fact its kind of distant, but i might just remove connections next time.
    2nd E is too slanted right, if it was more left it would fix the fact the S is far away. And my R is just really stiff, im still trying to figure out how to manipulate it how i want. but the horizonal bar is killin me!
    ai136.photobucket.com_albums_q168_matthew1o_0630111827.jpg
     
  2. Messer

    Messer Senior Member

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  3. Rasm

    Rasm Senior Member

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    You should probably read the last few pages of this thread and go back to bars. Work with those for a while until you have some letter structure.

    This thread's been slow lately.
    Here's a bump.

    [Broken External Image]:http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/4551/imag0879t.jpg
     
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2011
  4. ribcage

    ribcage Banned

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    why the fuck yall callin errbody kids? Thats fuckin retarded, dont adress everybody as kids when theres obviously people who arent...

    anyways
    @rasm that STAR piece is fugly S is bad, top bar if T is bad cause the width is fucked up, your playing out that A a little cause you use it on everything, and that extension on the top of your R is super wack. as fir this 1^ the bar widths are killing me and that handy in the O is turrible

    @sed yo break away from that style and try something different, then go back to it if you really want. You keep slanting that bar that makes the right leg of R, make it come straight out and it will help it visually
     
  5. upper90daynnight

    upper90daynnight Senior Member

    • Messages: 107
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    Hey heres some pencil sketches ima outline the one with the halo and i got another devil themed one that says unpure ill post that in a sec crits please! thanks
    IMG_2536.jpg
    IMG_2535.jpg
    IMG_2538.jpg
     
  6. upper90daynnight

    upper90daynnight Senior Member

    • Messages: 107
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    IMG_2533.jpg
    heres the devil themed one which ill clean up and repost later
     
  7. Rasm

    Rasm Senior Member

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    I know that Star piece is super whack, I almost didn't even post it to be honest. The ST and the AR are two completely different sizes... shouldn't have rushed it so much. As for the Zerox one, the bar widths aren't great but the 3D is even worse... I'm surprised you didn't mention it.
     
  8. dankbudz

    dankbudz Elite Member

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    upper90- practice simps more before you bend your bars, add extensions and shit. everything you did is practically in the wrong place. go slowly with tweaking yo letters.
    i wouldnt waste any time outlining them, i would practice on printerpaper or something cheap then throw it in your black book if you got something you like, but its up to you.

    rib- yo mean the style of the R or the whole piece? i understand for the R though, shit looks stiff and awkward. ill try some out next time.

    Rasm- that XEROx doesnt look to bad too me. I would just fix that R and the middle of the E makes it look like a sideways M. but the Z O and X is lookin good. and bar width on that isnt bad, it just looks like a quicky pencil sketch. good practice man
     
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2011
  9. EWL24

    EWL24 Senior Member

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    Rasm - i like the zerox one, the only thing i would do is give the R a line or some kinda whole

    dank - i think rib is talking about the whole piece cause u have been doing that same style for a while now and u r good enough to move on

    most recent stuff iv done.
    im thinking about changing my name to one of these
    new word.JPG
    crits please
     
  10. arsebanditskaelsucker

    arsebanditskaelsucker Senior Member

    • Messages: 168
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    dank- that last one of yours is tight buddy boy! :) again bottom leg of the s is a bit wack but its looking very noooice! :)

    ewl- just that w bud, think if it was straight and not tryin to hump the e a little lol, but size and everything aint looking bad :)
    upper 90- i preferred the last few sketches u put up on the last page or so....some of its fairly neat and then some of its a bit nutts like the last one on this page
    rasm- love the zerox one, and the syar is pretty tidy too :)
    squared that kayla...mmmmmm nice
    messer- bit to much going on on those pages for me, like it all wants me to look at it at the same time...brain melt :)
    evol- nice first one lovely n fluffy letters, but hows about some different letters than e and v
    will attempt to post some more of my shit so you can rip me soon just too fucking tired right now.......
     
  11. ribcage

    ribcage Banned

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    @sed the style of it all, set that 1 aside and try branching out a bit with some different basis for letters and then go back to that one if you want. Trying different bases for letters can help you think of ways to change your other letters......if that makes sense... btw thanks for uploading them pics for me


    ai136.photobucket.com_albums_q168_matthew1o_0625111743.jpg
    ai136.photobucket.com_albums_q168_matthew1o_1111101453.jpg
     
  12. .Cuore

    .Cuore Senior Member

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    Sick octopus dude. Hhahaa.
     
  13. dankbudz

    dankbudz Elite Member

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    rib- no problem broski.
    as for your pics, i already told you the top one was dope aha. Letter wise, they get smaller in height and barwidth and less snazzy (compared to the R). Im diggin the R, A, and H. Though i still thing you should open them vericle bars of the H more. The E is lookin like my lame E's and i know you can top my shit tenfold. Definitely diggin the style though.
    Cant crit the bottom cause i can never read those style of pieces.

    ewl- keep up the practicing. give some space on the bottom one.
     
  14. Rasm

    Rasm Senior Member

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    Ribcage, I'm digging the 3D work although I'm not completely sure what it says. That part down the bottom there on the right side might look better if it was going at a slightly different angle though. As for the Reach page with the octopus, I like the artwork but your bar widths are all over the place. I'd personally make the angels of the bends in your letters a little more consistent too.
     
  15. Shroomsh

    Shroomsh Senior Member

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    for the kids that get me through hard times ♥
    (L).jpg
     
  16. "FrY"

    "FrY" Member

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    ^^^Oooo thats sexy. I like it. Keep it up mate.

    Since my camera was made in mexico, you can't see that there's an outline. I had trouble making the n's similar, but after a few attempts I got them to be somewhat close. You like?
    IMAG0503.JPG
     
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2011
  17. DaFugg

    DaFugg Senior Member

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    The N bars are inconsistent in a bad way man, The E has a random tilt, like it had one too many to drink The bottom extention is uneeded as well as the top. I like the O but it doesn't match. The last N is much better but could still use more work.

    There's a lot wrong with it but it's definately on to something. Try working a simpler version of that.
     
  18. dankbudz

    dankbudz Elite Member

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    no one gives a shit about your lightning blue outline. last N wouldnt be THAT bad if it didnt have those random notches, but it still is smaller then the O. haha and i thought the second letter was a C. practice your simples, learn some letter structure.

    Shroomsh- those names looking siick, i like that crazy hectic background you got going on.

    FRY, dude, look at his letters, and notice how his are good and simple, but have style to it, because he tweaked them slightly and in the right places. he didnt add a shit ton of notches or extension connection wanna be wildstyle shit. practice your simples and itll pay off.
     
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2011
  19. "FrY"

    "FrY" Member

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    cool, thanks for the tips guys :) ill start on something simpler in just a sec.
     
  20. dankbudz

    dankbudz Elite Member

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    dont post it up right away. keep it. look at it. study it. ask yourself how you can improve it. Think, bar width, baseline, negativespace, consistency in letters basically. and post up once youve done ten hundred of them... haha nah, but do more then one. try to improve on your own a bit. you cant fuck up too hard if you just write it like NEON.

    Edit:
    god i am up way too late on this shit.
     
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2011