man, it sux, i have like no motivation even to go out bombing, i got out of a mental hospital like about two weeks ago and it's been boring as fuck ever since. i'm not even that depressed emotionally, but i've just being bored as fuck ever since then. my life has just become so utterly boring that i have no reason to go on. i mean whats the point, i hate it, every day is just a drag, i just want a qucik way out.
when your painting a trackside, and a freight comes, dont you get that image of you jumping infront of it? i kinda do
I may not really know much about all of you but apparently I have depression and I am taking medicine. I dispise taking meds with all of my heart but I was told I would be sad for ever unless I took it and got better. If you need any help or tips feel free to PM me.
Not that I would do it but... Is it odd to be thinking to yourself what would would happen if I topped myself, like what people would say, scenarios, would anyone care stuff like that...
i don't think it's odd at all, i go as far as to fantasizing about what people would think if i was gone. i feel like it's the only way they would truely realize that i was depressed and i would actually be happy if some people were hurt by my death, although i doubt very many people would care if i was gone...
Do any of you guys go to therapy? I've been considering it lately, not sure if I got the cash for it at the moment though.
I would never shoot myself, because if you don't have a steady hand you can actually live and be forced to live with a fucked up face & head and you will probably also have brain problems ranging from body function to thought process.
there are churches that offer non biased free therapy, at least where im from. i know church and God is a sore subject for a lot of foks, but who knows?
Just seen this thread and I was reading the first part and well yeah I agree with the we usually dont fit in with other people all the time. My so called friends sometimes wonder why I hang out with my tagger friends so much and not them, because they understand me.
I had the black dog. It comes around from time to time. It wags it's tail and licks my hand. So i kick that fucker in the face. I guess i got through it by talking pointlessly to a counselor about random shit and looking for the posotive in everything. My view on life is that it rolls along and you just gotta take what it gives, be nice to everyone you can and realise that nothing is permanent. People are shit but individuals are beautiful people with stories. that's how I deal with it. Girls are hard though. I got problems with an ex right now. Just stand up and don't lie to yourself. people come and go, and the ones that are important will stay with you throughout.
Im sick of what I have. What I dont have, and what I will never have. Before the only thing that really stopped me from just taking the easy way out was fear of whats after, but now that fear is just goin away and I am finding it harder everyday to not do it. I dont go bombing because society, and other writers tell me Im not good enough, Im not worth any fucking thing. The music I listen to that helps is fading. I hate myself even more when I think about how many other people have worse problems than me and it just fucking sucks.
Work hard, smoke a cigarette, catch a few tags, and enjoy a nice beer while cooking a steak on the grill. Works for me, minus the cigarette since that shit fucks me up and it's not my style.
Just do your own thing, if other writers don't like your shit don't let that stop you from bombing if your passionate about it. If you can be passionate about something and emerse yourself in it you certainly will have less time to be depressed. Are you recieving any help, seeing a phychiatrist, counselor. Are your parents supportive. Feel free to PM me.
ahhh its good they topic up and running once more. I have been feeling like shit for more then a month. Recently got rejected by a chick i really liked and anti Depressants aint working. (aint going to mention all the other shit bringing me down because its beside the point I am trying to make) I was walking one day thinking about my life then I thought about biggies track suicidal thoughts this made me then think about putting my negative energy I have into my music. Being Depressed and down mixed with anger makes for some good hip hop tracks. Now when ever I feel bad I put it to my music and record it. It doesn’t take away the unhappiness but it certainly has helped more then drugs booze and meds. Find some thing to direct your negative energy into.