thats not true and you should eat your words zuel told us before he attempted once, and all people did was call him a fake so what would you rather have a faker or the real thing i think it just shows you what a stupid post you just made and i dont think you know any of us well enough to tell us what we will do and not do
im with mysft, we might be the only friends/ people who'll listen some people have got, ass holes with pointless posts aint helping.
i think msfyt and AgA-Trance are right.. no one listened to zuel when he said hed do it.. ppl called him a fake.. maybe if ppl listen.. they can prevent someone of doing it..
Got arrested. I have no real friends because they ditched me to save themselves. Parents hate me for getting arrested. Graffiti ruins everything in my life. My girlfriend of 2 years just broke up with me without telling me until I found out another guy was involved, and all i want to know is whats going on. School, i cant go and face the friends and girlfriend that left me. What else is there really?.. I layed in bed for 2 hours straight.. thinking about which bridge they cant get me off of. And i need to help, because i'm close to actually looking for those bridges.
your homeboys are still your freinds man there just bitchs not evreyone can really man up to shit like they should yeah graffiti will fuck evreything up my mom fucking hates me and shit but its an addiction and some shit you love so dont quit it you know and your gf dont even sweat it bud 2 years yeah is a long time but real talk bitchs aint shit but ho's n tricks and that other guy let him have her you know why cause shes a deceitfull cheater and shes gonna do the same shit to him man dont even worry about your freinds or your gf think about the next bridge to get some dope handys on not to jump off when you go to school all your partners gonna be sorry as fuck gurantee it and fuck that ho be a man about shit man up im serious youll feel hella better
dude listening to what you just wrote really reminds me of how i used to feel in high school. i had so many of the same problems you listed and it does feel like too much at times i remember. heres a quick story.. i dropped out of high school junior year, at the time i was involved deep in gangs and drugs, and i thought i could pull myself out of it. i moved up to portland with the hopes of going to art school and starting fresh and leaving it all behind me. i ended up getting so heavily into heroin and pills that i was going thru almost 10,000 dollars every 6 months. i ended up doing things i never thought in a million years when i was your age that i would do. stealing cars, robbing from my roomates, slinging dope as a full time occupation. id always said crystal was the drug id never touch until i did it, and three months later i was doing it every single day. staying up 13 days in a row so paranoid that id have the dea breaking my door down any minute. i overdosed on september 25 2006 and came as close to dying as you can get. after that my family physically came to portland and brought me back home to reno just so they could save my life. i thought of nobody but myself and i was slinging again the second my feet touched the pavement in nevada. things were building and building until i got arrested in june this summer for trafficking and resisting arrest. the da said he was going to attempt to give me 2-5 fucking years in the state pen in indian springs for it. i kid you not man i sat in the booking cell after that first night i had talked to the da and i tied my sheets in a noose and sat there all fucking night gripping it hella tight and thinking about hanging my ass right there and then. i was so damn scared dude, 2-5 years at 20 years old, im pretty sure i cried, i was just so out of my mind with fear. when my lawyer worked out a three year probation deal to where i only spent two months locked up and the 2-5 over my head it really change the way i think about life. suddenly all those things i used to trip about in high school seemed so unneccesary and easy to solve. i realized alot of my problems could be solved as long as i had the freedom to do it. as soon as i got out i told my dealer friends and customers to kiss my ass and took off for california. And im by no means perfect and sober now, but im going in a better direction and ive got a feeling deep down that im going to make something of myself and my life. just sitting here thinking about how close i was to calling it quits just a couple months ago, and how scared shitless i was, it amazes me...because things do get better if you're willing to man up and do it for yourself. give yourself time to be pissed and angry at the world and your girl for doing that shit, thats a natural part of life, but just know in the back of your mind you'll be a stronger man for it, and your worth more than that. *sorry for the long ass boring story, but anybody thinking about suicide is dead fucking serious, its not a joke. look no further than waster to see that taking this shit seriously doesnt make you a pussy, it makes you a man and who knows if he'd been less afraid to talk about it because of certain assholes he'd still be here.
woooord to that man, i trust 2 fuckin people 2ve my bros been buddys since like fuckin grade 5. People lie and bullshit these 2 motherfuckers are blunt and honest. My ex basically fucked me over, She was all blah blah you dont talk about your "emotions" which i dont cause i think its fuckin useless..Nd yeh long story short that was a bad idea. hahaha, Ahhh bitches and their gossip gotta loooove it.
here is a question for everyone here. has anyone ever though about doing it, talked about doing, tried to do it, so that someone would listen because noone else would? not jsut in generall for anyone to listen and talk, but for someone who is actually full heartidly interested in listening to listen? but after thinking about it for ahwile, you start to think it might not actually be such a bad thing? reading through chams second paragraph especially, and this thread, and thinking about my friends who have killed themselves made me think really hard about shit . ive been thinking , trying to sort shit out for a while now. after the hardest year in my life. and there have been dozens of nights where i have broken down and jsut needed someone to talk to, but noone was there. about a week before i moved, i broke down more than i had in the past, and it has taken almost a month to think about what to say, and how to explain things, and event o figure out what was really wrong, and i still dont know, but i think im starting to get the hang of it. i think i know somewhat of how oyu feel cham. beacsue your second paragraph is almost exactly what im feeling. i really dont know what do to but break down you know? all im saying is it would be nice to have people. friends, a girlfriend, that would actually listen and be able to help. instead of just brushing it off, thinking thinking its a joke. ive put myself out so many times. taken chances on things, and people that i shouldnt have. i jsut wish the thigns oyu put so much effort, time, and love into would show the same respect back.
this is crazy to see that other writers have tried/committed suicide. when i was 16 i tried to kill myself. i still have scars and its been 2 years. i have had depression all my life but when i got into drugs i just got so fucked. if anyone wants to see my scars i can post pics.
Hey everyone im back. i got banned. and i dont know why. but im back. and i know that im here. i have posted alot in this thread and i wanna say to the person up there that said noone in here that posts has any rea intention to do anything is not true. some writer about a month ago tried to kill himself. but he was helped my another person who read his post and stopped him right before he did. And its not even a matter of telling what your gonna do. its about getting help on here my venting your emotions and just who you are. its about getting help. because it is true " every graffiti writer is a self concious manic depressive" i know i am. i always have been. i, as well as countless outhers have recieved my fair share of shit thats been flung upon me by this endless sack of hate and crap we call life. but here is where we get help dealing and sorting though it. here is where we get that boost of encouragement that we wouldnt normally get from anyone in person. here is where we can hear " its ok, i understand. or listen...." instead of " hey fuck face!" or "you dissapoint me. son, youve ruined my life.'' yes ive heard that one. its harsh but its what it is. life. but here we get our help. caause we need someones hand to save us and pull us out of this quicksand of depression. Ps. if anyone wants to talk to me about ANything. Just PM me. My name is Ryan. thats about the most stable thing in my life right now. but im here for you.
Thanks Moze, that's a bold move. I'm right here with Moze, if anybody needs to ever talk about anything, not even something as serious as suicide, I'm here. I've been going through a rough couple weeks and am currently at a pretty low point myself. Things will get better all in time, remember there is always something positive out there for you. Mad love.