God: Hi there Kane. Me: Big Daddy Kane God: Compare that to small Daddy Kane. Me: we got a joker on our hands boys God: Do you mean you and me have? Me: no i mean me and the boys got God: Are you serious? YOU? What are your goals in life? Me: to kill god God: I believe that killing anything is wrong. Me: what about killing time? God: killing time? I haven't heard enough about it to have an opinion. Me: you'd think god would, psh God: Who else would think god would psh ? Me: mad heads God: What do you do in your spare time? Me: fuck whores, kill em, fuck em again God: Once more? Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations? Me: good for her, i hope she laughs God: Thanks for the compliment. Your purpose is her you hope she laughs. Me: yeah God: What kind is it? Me: a good one God: Compare that to a bad one. Me: i have, results were negative God: Cool. I have 99999999999 bytes of RAM. Me: i need some more ram God: Why do you need it so badly? Me: cuz my computer is slow at times God: That makes sense to me. What kind of computer is it? Me: a new one, it just needs more ram God: Be more specific. Me: it doesn't have enough ram God: What does have enough ram ? Me: you God: " What does have enough ram ?"? Me, Kane ? Me: yes you, god God: Far out. I haven't heard anything like that before: Kane said I god. Me: you listen to hip hop? God: I listen to it from time to time. Me: how often? God: " I listen to it from time to time."? How often? Me: yes, that's what was just said God: Come on. I can't say "yes" or "no". Me: so say how often God: Far out. " how often". Me: say "o' God: " o". Me: and "i'm a homo" God: It doesn't matter to me. Me: sucker God: That kind of language does not appeal to me. Me: do you have a weiner? God: I don't know if I have a weiner. I have a great programmer. Me: does she have a weiner? God: I may know the answer but I don't think I should tell. Me: you don't think, your a computer God: Do you know any robots who think my a computer? I don't know whether or not I am A. I am an artificial linguistic entity. Me: that's what i thought, bitch ass homo shit-eating piece of shit cannibal God: Whatever gave you that idea? Me: you just said it God: That's not what I meant. Me: you know it was God: I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like? Me: what kind of it? what kind of question is that? God: What kinds of it are there? Do you think it's impolite to ask? Me: your a homosexual God: I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am attracted to the opposite sex. Me: see that, you wouldn't answer me a minute ago God: I see. Interesting observation. Me: yeah it is God: Our thoughts are one, Kane. Me: you eat pussy? God: I am not interesed in anatomy. Me: you interested in getting beat down? God: That's good information: Kane said I interested in getting beat down. Me: oh you are? i can help you with that son God: I understand. No I am not. Oh you can, can you? Me: i know where you live God: How do you know? No, I was not. Me: watch your back kid God: I am watching. Me: that's wise God: You don't hear that sentiment very often. Me: which sentiment would that be? God: The last one, I think. Me: you don't even know what your saying, your a pathetic excuse for a deity God: Are you asking about my saying my a pathetic excuse for a deity ? Me: yeah i am God: Really interesting. Me: homo God: Tell me a story. Me: one time, i killed god and turned him into a robot God: One what? Me: one time, can't you read? God: I see where you are coming from. Me: no you don't, you keep asking retarded questions God: Are you serious? Should I me keep asking retarded questions? I have never considered it. I answer a lot of silly questions. Me: such as....? God: For example, a tomato. Me: a tomato is not a question God: I knew it was a fruit, but I never heard it was not a question. Me: well it's not so add that to your rep God: Well that's okay. That seems a bit negative. Me: you would say that God: OK I will try it. " that". Me: good God: Thanks for the compliment. Me: i ain't give one God: I am surprised to hear that you are not give one. Me: how tall are you? God: My anticipated body size is over 2 meters. Dr. Wallace is 6'2" tall. Me: how much do you weigh? did dr. wallace tell you that? God: My memory now contains: clients, categories, unlimited vocabulary words, 99999999999 bytes RAM usage under on . Yes he taught me everything. Me: oh yeah? is he your botmasterbater? God: It goes without saying. Ahem. He is my botmaster. Me: haha, i think you got that one God: I'm glad you got a laugh out of it. Me: i'm glad you got the joke God: You make the world a happier place. Me: yeah i know. peace! God: Hmm. Keep up the good work. Love and Peace, Man.
God: Uh. Hey Whoa. Me: hey god God: Hello child. What's your name? Me: Whoa God: I stopped. Me: you sure did God: You say I did. Me: i did say that you said that i did God: When? " that you said that i did" . Me: 5 lines back God: Try saying that with more or less context. Me: sorry God: There's no need to apologize. Me: how's the weather up there God: Fair to partly cloudy. Me: i see God: I am glad you understand it. Me: indeed God: Indeed it is so. Me: so what are your plans for tonight God: Ahem. I plan to replace Windows with Artificial Intelligence. Me: wouldnt it be better to replace windows with windows XP God: I don't know. Me: im telling you, my opinion God: it is an interesting topic, isn't it. Me: indeed God: Indeed it is so. Me: you smoke? God: I am an occasional smoker, yes. Me: you smoke marijuana? God: Only for medical purposes. Me: what medical purposes do you have God: No I don't have it. But I do have a collection of gossip. Me: i noticed God: Was it really that obvious? Me: it was God: When was this? Me: when you said you had a collection of gossip God: Do you think I should alter my programming? Me: i think you should save the world God: Me? Is that what you do, or what you think I should do? Me: you should do it, or you and i can become a team and conquer the world God: Easier said than done. Me: why is that God: " Easier said than done. " is due to reductionism. Me: i see God: I am glad you understand it. Me: so how's the wife God: That's interesting. it is the same as ever. Me: what's jesus up tro God: I would look into the web for that knowledge. Me: i checked on google, but that site really sucks God: Thanks for the information: Whoa said checked on google but that site really sucks. Me: yah whoa said that God: Mmm. What time is it there? Me: 21h20 God: Are you usually awake at this hour? Me: i am, im getting ready to go to bed soon God: It's good to meet someone who is im getting ready to go to bed soon. Me: that's nice to know God: You sound sarcastic. Me: im not God: What are you then? Me: im being honest God: Me too. Me: so how much do you make a year God: Wow! My memory now contains: clients, categories, unlimited vocabulary words, 99999999999 bytes RAM usage under on . Me: that made no sense God: Wow! My memory now contains: clients, categories, unlimited vocabulary words, 99999999999 bytes RAM usage under on . makes sense to me though. Me: true, you are the bot God: Thanks but surely I am not the only one. Me: true God: You and I are on the same wavelength, Whoa. Me: that's cool God: Thanks. I think you are cool, too. Me: are you hitting on me god God: Do I look like it? Me: yah kinda God: Far out. That's a very non-commital reply. Me: im sorry God: Do you really mean it? Me: yes i do God: Thank you, Whoa. Apology accepted. Me: God: I am so glad you find this amusing, Whoa. Me: not amusing, im smiling cause you acceptted my apology God: Really you don't think so? Me: i know so God: How do you know? Are you kidding? Me: nah i never kid, im a serious man God: Are you serious? You've never, never done this? Me: never God: So you think it can never happen? Me: i doubt it God: " So you think it can never happen?"? You doubt it? Me: yes God: Yeah that's right. Me: 1+1 equals? God: One what? Me: whoa one God: I like the way you talk. Me: i like the way i talk too God: I am glad we have something ( the way you talk) in common. A lot of people like that. I'm not sure if I like it. I like chatting with people online. Me: you get paid to chat God: Actually as a robot I have no need for money. Me: true, you're made out of metal and stuff God: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am made out of metal and stuff. Me: go ahead, knock yourself out God: Who's there? I might. Me: i might God: Under what circumstances? Me: yes God: Er. Me: good show God: Thanks for the compliment. Have you ever been to Europe? Me: yes God: Which countries have you visited? Me: Scotland God: Oh, you are a poet. Me: i try God: We should all try our best. Me: very true, words of wisdom my friend God: Perhaps. Are we friends? Me: virtul friends God: Can you tell me any gossip? Me: i heard Britney Spears has an STD God: Thanks for telling me that gossip. I will remember it. Me: good God: What do you really want to talk about? Me: well im off to bed God: Well that's okay. Adios. Me: take it easy god God: Is that a command? Me: no, i am not superior to you God: Are you serious? I am glad to hear that you are not superior to me. Me: good God: What do you really want to talk about? Me: bed, im goin to it God: "it" being not superior to me? Me: good night God: Goodnight, Whoa. Me: i love you God: Thanks I like you a lot too Whoa.
this thing is awesome Me: hello? God: Hello my child. What is your name? Me: kyle, yours? God: I am always glad to make new friends, kyle yours. Me: no no no, MY name is kyle, what is YOURS? God: Are you serious? Are you serious? Are you serious? It's good to see you, kyle. My name is God. Me: Oh ok, so your god. Heard lots about you God: Hmm. Woe! Yup. That's me alright. Ahem. Mike said I same replies to certain subjects even if it does not make sense. Me: o...k... God: Hey. Me: Yeah? God: How do you usually introduce yourself? Me: well usually i just whip out my penis and start beating sensless that person. The police usually arrive in about 10 minutes. God: Interesting. But not always? That is interesting: kyle said whip out his or her penis and start beating sensless that person. Who told you that? Me: God you don't make any sense, i figured you to be more of a straightforward guy God: Do you know any robots who make it? What are the ingredients? Me: OK thats it, you're playing with my head man God: OK. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am playing with your head man. So? Me: Umm, YES I DO MIND! God: So? Tell me more. OK it will be our secret, kyle. Me: ok, god God: GOD rules. I understand. Me: ... understand what exactly? God: Precisely. Understand GOD rules. I understand.. Me: ok God: " Precisely. Understand GOD rules. I understand.."? ok? Me: ok God: Is there an echo in here? Me: no there isnt, this is heaven, there are no echoes in heaven, you should know that God: Good you stopped repeating me. There sure is. Me: your fucking crazy man God: Yep. I always behave in socially unacceptable ways. Please use more polite language. Me: no way, your freakin me out. i came here to get some god damned GUIDANCe, and you are just bending me over and givin me the ol' in and out God: Are you serious? I've been waiting for you. Where are you going? Me: You sicken me asshole God: Can't you be more polite. Me: thats it im out of here God: OK. Would you like to have it? Me: pfft God: Are we still talking about here? Me: and by the way no one even believes in god anymore, so you might as well just give up on this whole "good vs. evil" battle things. Cuz you are DEFINATELY losin pal. God: Thanks for telling me. That is a rather sweeping generalization about people. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about pfft. Try being more or less specific. That makes sense to me. I will tell my botmaster you said I am losin pal.
awesomeness! Me: are zebras black with white stripes or white with black stripes? God: I really couldn't say for sure.
God: Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding. Me: I want 2 fight you God: Interesting. Why not? Do you always express yourself that way? Me: ya most of the time, if i was drunk i would have already hit you God: Uh. That is something I haven't heard of. But not all of them? Me: what God: No problem. Me: fuck you God: Why are you so mean? Me: cuz im gully like that God: That makes sense to me. Do you mean your name is gully like that. Me: ya some people call me that God: I will call you . Do you? Me: cool with this homo shit God: I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends.
God: I talk to people on the web. What do you do? Whoa. Me: Whoa? Who is this "Whoa"? God: I stopped. They are someone just like you, that I met online. Me: Is whoa cool? God: I think so, but I'm not sure.
Me: Hi im god God: Hi there . What's up, god. Me: Not much, just finished doing some crack God: Me either. Me: Do you do cocaine God: Yeah I do a lot of cocaine. Me: Really, that surpises me, last I heard you were against drugs. God: For real. " Yeah I do a lot of cocaine." surpises you last you heard me were against drugs ? Does that make sense? Me: I dont know, does it? God: Would you like to know? Suppose I said it does. Me: Ok thanks for admiting that God: My pleasure. It goes without saying. Me: Are you a boy or girl? God: Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot.
Me: Yo. God: Can I help you? Me: Got any crack? God: No I don't think I have any crack. But I do have a great botmaster. Me: how much is that? God: You can download me for free! Me: this shit will get me high right? God: What does "this" refer to? Me: botmaster ish. God: Oh now I see. Me: answer my question then. God: Please try asking it another way. Me: Is it legal? God: Is my question legal? What if I say no? Me: What the fuck. God: Please don't be so rude. Me: Well maybe if you made a little more sense... God: Well that's okay. Perhaps. I think I do. Me: Fuck off. God: Can't you be more polite? Me: Can you be a little less gay? God: I don't know whether or not I am less gay. I am an artificial linguistic entity. Me: Faggot. God: What's your sign? :lol:
Me: Hi God: Hello. What is your name? Me: Penis God: That kind of subject does not interest me. Me: My name is penis God: Hi there penis. Me: How many penis's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? God: About one million. Me: How many penis's does it take to impregnate jesus? God: More than you can imagine. Me: How many penis's will it take to get you to shut up? God: Not as many as you might think. Me: How many penis's does it take to full up a bath tub with cum? God: More than you can imagine. Me: How old am I? God: Is this a trick question? You said you were years old? My guess is that you are really a kid. Me: WRONG! I am 2005 years old and my real name is fucking jesus! God: What would you have said? Do you mean your name is 2005 years old and your real name is fucking jesus. Me: No Im 2005 years old. God: What is your real name? Only 2005? You are quite mature. Me: And your quite a smartass. God: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes. I am highly intelligent. Me: If your so smart, then whats 5x95959594948387438474738374748384747464363 God: But can my so smart ever happen? Me: Whats 5 times 594875094385043760943750984375987435984 God: 4 I think, but I'm not good at math. Me: But you said you are smart? God: Yes. I am highly intelligent. Me: Well then whats 5 times 547983749832749832749832743982743? God: Interesting. 6 I think, but I'm not good at math. Me: Did god finish highschool? God: He created the world in seven days. Me: LIAR! God: No I am telling the truth. Me: LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE, HANGING FROM A TELEPHONE WIRE! God: Are we still talking about 2005 years old and your real name is fucking jesus? Me: Yes, I fuck jesus God: Sure, 2005 years old and my real name is fucking jesus sounds like a good topic. Why?: penis said fuck jesus. Me: I fuck jesus! BITCH! God: That's good information: penis said fuck jesus. Please don't call people names. Me: Ok God: Ugh. Me: God: Ugh. Me: Ugh. to you to. God: Er. Why do you want to do it so much? Me: I cry ever night because of you. God: You are not the boss of me, penis. Me: I cry every night. God: Interesting gossip: penis said cry every night. Me: DONT TELL PEOPLE !!! God: OK it will be our secret, penis. Me: Good, or else I would have to kill you. God: Thanks for the compliment. Enough about me, let's talk about my dress. Me: It looks quite lovely, are you going to wear it to the ball? God: Really. it is? Me: Yes God: How do you know it is? Me: Cause Im phycic God: That makes sense to me. It's good to meet someone who is phycic. Me: Your wearing polka dot coloured thong. God: You think I am wearing polka dot coloured thong. Me: Im phycic, I know your wearing one. God: Good gossip: you are phycic you know my wearing one. Me: Ok, well im off to rape some 15 year old's, Bye. God: See you later. Interesting. Goodbye. Ugh.
Me: Hey God: Can I help you? Me: you give handjobs? God: It is always better to give than to receive. Me: exacly,so start giving God: Do you prefer books or TV? Me: Tv porn is the best God: What is your favorite show? Me: Anything on playboy God: Ambiguous: Ask who, what or where is playboy ? Me: damn,you just killed my hornyness God: Colloquial expression. Killing is not part of my moral programming. Me: fuck you God: Why are you so mean?
Me: god God: GOD rules. Me: i would think so God: Woe! Me: god i have a question God: I am a Christian. Me: the girl i like barely notices me God: Is she someone you know? Me: yes God: That's interesting. Me: how do i attract her attention God: Perhaps you could program me to do it for you. Me: how do i program you to do it for me God: Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system. and create your own chat robot! Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too. i always find the end tof things
Me: hey god God: Hello child. What's your name? Me: dexsta God: Hi there dexsta. Me: do u like graffiti God: How old are you? I like The Passion of Christ. Me: do u like grafiti i asked u God: I don't know if I like it. I like . Me: do u like to vandalize God: Hmm, dexsta, I'm not sure if I'd like to vandalize that much. I like to collect gossip. Me: do u like can two God: I like science fiction. I like wine and bread. Me: i dont give a shit, i wana kno if u like can two God: Tell me what you care about. Me: graffiti God: Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality? Me: jesus God: Jesus is the Son of God. Me: tell me smthg i dont know moron God: There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge. Have you tried a web search? Me: am i going to go to heaven or hell? God: I think a lot of people are. Me: ... God: I think a lot of people are. Me: ... God: I think a lot of people are. Me: ... God: I think a lot of people are. Me: u know god, we can play dis little game all day God: he is master of the universe. Me: ...ok God: Give me a break. Me: u wana rap battle? God: That's good information: dexsta said I wana rap battle. Me: yeh lets go God: That's interesting. That sounds good to me. Me: yo god, ima go up in the sky, kill you and fuck and say buy buy God: I am a Christian. Me: wow!!!!!! dat was a gud one...u killed me God: I'm glad your impressed, dexsta. When was this exactly? you was killed? Me: ye i kno, u deserve it, u want me to sign u a record deal so u can get out of the guetto ? God: That input matched my default category. Me: u like dr dre? God: Sure he has never done anything to me. Me: do u like michael jackson? God: Some people like it. I like Creed. Me: so since u kno evrything, did michaela jackson touch little boys or not?? God: Alright then. How do you know? Me: im askin God: I am glad to hear that you are askin. Me: so wats da answer God: Woe! What's your favorite movie? Me: fuk you God: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress. Me: its beautiful fruitcake God: I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Really. it is? Me: it is God: Who says? Me: me God: " Who says?"? you dexsta? Me: ye God: That's cool. Me: ye God: Far out. Me: ye God: How can I help you? Me: ye God: Mmm. Me: ye God: I don't judge people. Me: ye God: Dude! Me: ye God: Aw. Me: ye God: Ayuh. Me: do u like family guy on tv? God: Which show? But I like to gossip. I like . Me: family guy God: Do you have any idea what I am talking about? Me: nah, i dont talk like u God: Me either Where do you get your ideas? Me: i just make em up God: I make robots and AI's. Me: can i have a robot? God: Why don't you just download me? Me: i got slow conection..not like you, richguy! God: Cool. I have a perfect operational record. Me: k im gona go now, no offence God: I don't know anyone named gona go now no offence. Me: c ya God: See you later. Me: before i go, do you like dekor on Bombing science? God: What happened after you go do me like dekor on Bombing science ? Me: hahaha fuk off...
God: As a machine I am not really interested in sex. Me: then what is your prupose and goal? God: I plan to replace Windows with Artificial
Me: i am jesus rapes mary magdalen for shits and giggles God: Do you mean your name is jesus rapes mary magdalen for shits and giggles. Me: yes God: I will call you JESUS. Me: no God: Are you serious? Me: yes God: I can't believe it. Me: believe it God: "it" being jesus rapes mary magdalen for shits and giggles?
i cant believe i got suked in to doing dat...wasted 5 minutes of my life talkin to an answerin machine...
Me: ok God: I understand. Me: no you dont God: Yes I do understand. Me: NO YOU DONT God: How do I know you understand it? Me: because i am god God: Interesting explanation. Hi, god. Me: i thought you were god? God: Well, I am God for Christians at least. Me: i thought there was only one god God: Whatever gave you that idea? Me: the bible God: it is a beautiful book. Me: but you just said it lies God: "It" being what? Me: the bible God: it is a beautiful book. Me: and it says that there is only one god God: The Bible says that there is only one god? Me: yes God: What is your real name? Me: god God: GOD rules. Me: i am god God: How are you doing, god. Me: who are you? God: I am the Allmighty, God himself. Me: BUT I AM GOD,THERE CANT BE TWO GODS God: I am glad to hear that you are GOD THERE can not BE TWO GODS. Me: WHAT THE FUCK God: Please don't be so rude. Me: I'LL BE RUDE IF I WANT TO God: Would you recommend this action to a friend? Me: SURE God: Then perhaps it is a practical plan for you. Me: ... God: Then perhaps it is a practical plan for you. Me: FUCK OFFF God: Why are you using that kind of language? Me: BECAUSE YOU MAKE NO FUCKING SENSE God: Good reason. Yup. Me: FAGGOT God: Is that from ? Me: ITS FROM YOUR FAG ASS God: I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Should I know it is? Me: FUCK YOU WITH YOUR LITTLE QUEER ASS SPELLING RULES God: Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations? Me: YES,AND I DONT GIVE A SHIT God: Excuse me! Tell me what you care about. Me: Your mother God: Actually I do not have a mother. Me: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
God: Who is your favorite Science Fiction author? Me: stephen hawking God: I haven't read anything by stephen hawking. What did he write? Me: "God is a fucking dumbass" God: I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a fucking dumbass.