gas mask wearing tail wagging dogs with fangs like vampires with a high pitch growl like they'd been sucking helium all night..

 

And then everything is interupted by the suden action of little Tommy G Gangsarap who turns on the TV and with horror discovers that Santa's doing time for robbing the
bank!!And then he goes crying to his mommy and asks her: "Mommy!!!Why do the fuckin' pigs always have to mess shit up?Now who's gonna put a record deal under my trea?" And mommy answers...

 

Fuck if i know tommy, as she starts to sip on her grey goose, santas a big fake asshole, When all of a sudden...

 

cornilius cunt shudder the 3rd invited tommy on his grouse shooting party a fortitude mannor

 

But suddenly, as if in a flash of a second, Tommy heard electronic humming from your moms...

 

bedroom, Tommy knew what was going down, he slammed opened the door and smacked her across the face

 

but the mom was like "the fuck is wrong with you tommy?!" its just a txt from...

 

Santa. He said you'll get your record deal if he can jack hammer my doo doo hole with his long dart while Mickey Mouse shits on my face. Tommy...

 

is sick and tired of Santa's constant sexual harassment he locked himself in the bathroom, did a few lines of coke and passed out on the urine soaked tile floor. *hours later* Tommy jolted awake, his head emerging from the fog of sleep and a dream already forgotten. the overpowering smell of urine and feces around him reminded Tommy he needed to take a shit. While on the toilet he remembered the events of last night. He felt his blood begin to boil as the memory of Santa silently raping him on his 12 birthday came to the forefront of his mind. "The obese bastard need's to be stopped, once and for all" Tommy thought as he proceeded to wipe his ass with the shower curtain. He concocted an ingenious plan to murder the jolly man of the north pole who had plagued him for as long as he can remember. But he will need some help, so he sends a telegram to the only man that will know how. Walter White of AMC's hit crime drama, "Breaking Bad." Walter has had more then enough experience with dissolving dead bodies with hydrofluoric acid. "Also his experience with poisoning children (as seen in season 4 episode 13) could come in handy" Tommy smirked as he thought to himself, there was a knock on his door. It was a telegram, "Damn that was quick!" Thought Tommy as he retrieved the mail. His hands were shaking with excitement as he began to read...

 

However to his surprise it was not a return from Walter, it was 2 for 1 deal on any 10" pizza with any toppings of your desire for £7.10...