Yeah alot of things get ya down. But it cant stay bad forever.......if your problem is school or people at school (Alot of high school kids on the forum) then you can drop out or you only got a year or so of shit until you finish. I mean back in my days thats the problem i had. Going too a under middle class high school got me down. People there pissed me off i was surrounded with dog cunts. But after a few years i left a found a job and dont even see those mother fuckers any more. So life turned out well i just had to wait awhile.......

 

Props to Coka for spitting the bare truth, and Doc - patience I guess is always a virtue, and sometimes it just fucks you up.

But yeah getting messed up over a girl sometimes is a good thing in terms of like it shows how much you love her and shit to actually get messed up about it and it affects you and shit and sometimes it's bad 'cause it makes you do fucked up things and mess up further y'know?

The best way is to ride this shit out and forget it ever happened. Just learn from it, it's just like high school, you forget it and don't remember every single day of it BUT you did learn a lot right? So that's that, move on, let it go, in the words of Jean Grae:

Let it go, let it flow
Move on with your life and act like you know
Been on my last breathe, been between life and death
but I gotta let it go, can't deal with the stress
I let it, go.. let it go, let it flow
Move on with your life and act like you know
Been on my last breathe, been between life and death
but I gotta let it go, can't deal with the stress

The Herbaliser - Let It Go (Featuring Jean Grae).

Dope track and lots of meaning. Listening to shit like this makes one also think that they're never alone 'cause hey even though these people haven't been through the same shit as you, they still know what it feels like and there's always a message out there, so yeah.

But yeah ride that shit out go with the flow, people come and go and some of those people don't give a fuck if you come and stay 'cause they're too used to people coming and leaving and if you can't persuade them and make them believe that you're here to stay and shit then killing yourself not only fucks shit up for yourself but for you too 'cause they'll end up having the guilt of you being dead because of them, and a normal human being doesn't want to live with that sort of guilt for the rest of their life, fuck that.

It's very rare you gunna find someone who gives an equal fuck about you and themselves 'cause trust man as much of a saint you are, the other person might not be and just 'cause you look like a fucking devil on the outside they don't believe you and shit but whatever's clever right? It's like you work in a big ass firm and you know how to get the best out of it so you propose ideas to the boss CEO guy and tell him yadi yadi da and he thinks about it and realizes that yeah it's going to get him mad money/be more profitable to employ that idea whatever it may be 'cause it's all about gain for most people, and you get that shit and that promotion you been always fiending but if the idea sucks you get pushed away and even worse if the idea is implied and screws up you get the shots. That's the bitter truth, but like I said, it's going to be a rare find to get that someone who looks at shit from one of your eyes and one of their's and goes like holy shit bite their tongue before they say bizarre shit and realize that you're just crazily in love with them and being mature about it and if they're not going to be mature about it then yo, what're you saying right?

I'm just mossing out and living the last week of my vacation and figures that I got work tomorrow and they didn't cancel it so I'm just going to go and bomb during work and shit and get better at holding that pen 'cause I'm losing myself and my touch over stuff like this and I know I'm never been like this so back to bringing myself up top notch, once I'm back in Toronto I'm going to start a new better life even though it's not going to be much of a difference but for me the last three months were a lesson of a lifetime so fuck all.

 

honestly though. my first real relationship, i gave this bitch 2 years of my life, and then one day she just stopped caring. but i still did. that shit was the worst. i stopped trusting everyone. to this day, i don't trust a soul. and it fucks with all my new relationships. i'll never be able to have a normal relationship again.

fuck bitches.
now i'm dating that girls old best friend. and i couldn't be happier. and she knows it. so she can eat a big ol dick!

 

you guys are complaining about girls that fucked you over and took years out of your life or killed your kids through abortion, but here i am, not even able to hold a relationship for more than 4 months... i fucked this nasty hoe as a hook up type shit, thought i had hepatitis c and herpes 2, found out i didn't.. and now it seems like fucking isn't gonna be fun if i can't do it without a rubber, ya dig? shit's mad ghey.

i honestly think the people that drink EVERY day... are the ones that want to be dead but they don't want to leave the earth officially... they just don't want to be in the same state as everyone else.

 

i think the only way to really get over what is going on in your life weather its a long loving relationship with some u truly have a connection with or its something going on at home. you always have to feel that pain u need that pain to keep you human and not just an emotionless being. the pain that u feel will make u a better and stronger person in the long run on an emotional level. so if ur depressed and what not dont numb the pain by taking anti depressents or drinking alot more to numb the pain just do things thatmake u feel happy and up beat weather its chillin with your boys painting or bombing or smoking a spliff do w.e. it is that makes u happy

 

i had a freind that did that shit,ended up letting himself get hit by a freight train cause his girl broke up with him :/

 

first of all i said it before and ill say it again FUCK A BITCH and second for thoose of u who want to die i suggest murking everythin but urself murk as much as u can with paint billies highways whatever the crazier the spot THE BETTER YOULL FEEL I SUPPOSE if IF u make it back if u die then fuck it BUT NO ONE SHOULD TAKE THERE OWN LIFE

 

It's amazing to try to write some sort of a progress blog or notes or some shit for yourself to watch how you progress through all the shit daily, kind of like a self record and shit, I don't know might just help 'cause I know I do that shit in form of like long ass written pieces and shit I try to take my emotions out on paper. It never hurts to try 'cause the best part about it is that you're the only one who writes/reads it and it's a fucking gold to be able to watch yourself get over shit like that and knowing how you're doing it and not just randomly let it take you by. And no one can judge you too 'cause it's your shit no one knows about it unless the person who you care for the most knows how you're coping with it and wants to help you get better even though they're involved and shit but I know fuck all 'cause I'm kind of stupid to think that people really care to get you through till the end 'cause the day you care so much for someone so deep they come up to you and say that when you fuck up, you're the only one that can help yourself, wow....thanks for all that support right?

And yeah Coka that shit is weak still I know what you saying 'cause even I can't seem to hold down a decent relationship even though I try hard 'cause when I do I get shoved in the face so like I don't know what the fuck to do except stay away from all this shit, Jetpack tells me that shit'll make me mad anti-social and what not but fuck it 'cause I tried to make someone happy and if that's not appreciated then I'll try to make myself happy instead. Loving someone when they don't love you back is BARE FUCKERY straight up son, and I don't trust a soul either 'cause the one soul that I really trusted was nice enough to not betray me but she dwelled on my trust so I kind of fucked myself over with my own trust you know. I miss her like fuck though, so I try to chill with my boy whenever I have time off work 'cause he's like the only one that comes close to me after her but I'm out of this fucking country in a week so I'm pretty much leaving behind both her and my boy and running missions lone soldier soon. Soft shit...screw taking your own life man, Lifer speaks illin' 'cause murking everything around you makes you hella stronger and also what don't kill you can only make you stronger so I'm just going to build on that shit, screw drugs and juice to numb that pain crap 'cause the burnout would probably bring back all that shit to slap you in the face asking you "why did you numb yourself last night?" and you're back to square one thinking oh shit I did it 'cause of whatever reason it is and now you're thinking about it all over so fucking cycle repeats and it's a vicious circle so just break free. I'm planning a good trip this year to Asia again, be a proper fucking tourist and snap flciks all over the place especially Tokyo since I always wanted to go there all my life, and I know for a fact that right now if I had the chance to go there, I'd be one fucking happy man but I know I'd want to go there with her 'cause I always tell her about it and she always wanted to travel with me - shit I'm like just thinking about all that shit again and it's kind of putting me down - but whatever you know, loving someone is the greatest feeling and I know I love her and she does too and if she fucking forgets that any day I'll still remind her that I do a lot with each progressing day 'cause loving someone and taking your life out of that love 'cause they don't want you is bare bullshit. I made up my mind literally to make myself good enough and worthy for her and shit and if she doesn't want me then I'm still good 'cause I did all this for her so even then she'd be a little happy thinking this guy did something for me, sometimes they won't really give a fuck but as humans, I think no matter how bitter and cold we are inside, we'd love something done for us by someone else, even it's a TOTAL stranger but with good intentions.

Intentions are also always a vital part behind what you do, and with taking your life what are your intentions? Good? Bad? None 'cause it's neutral you're not helping many people and you're fucking enough shit up for others and yourself and maybe one man's joy is another man's sorrow screw that shit. Keep good intentions even if you think you're messing up and shit and it'll pull you through, it's just how the universe tends to unfold man, and I used to do go through a lot of crap for her that I never used to tell her about 'cause I didn't want her to worry about it and I still haven't but it's not like she'd care anyway but point being that all that shit seemed feeble because doing shit for her made me invincible and made me get out of that shit as soon as possible and as easily as possible, just 'cause of my intentions and my intentions were good to keep her happy and shit.

One of the best parts about posting on here is that nobody really gives much of a shit so that just makes you even stronger thinking that fuck all not many give too much shits so just come on here and post away just to let it drain out or vent or whatnot and at the same time working on honing yourself 'cause when you keep punching a wall that doesn't crack, you only end up making your fists stronger and land harder solo punches, unless you're soft about it and let that wall shatter your knuckles.

 

i smoke mad buddha to numb myself out i smoke trees like a maniac and i honestly think it helps to cope with the bullshit

 

That shit gunna hit you sooner or later with that afterglow, word let that shit pile up and push by for say hours days weeks months years sooner or later it's going to come and shank your ass and then no juice or substance gunna get you by and then you'll be thinking about the dive, serious. I'm mad hungry...

 

i dunno guy im a full time smoker and all i can say is it gets the job done i never tryed any hard drugs so i really dont crave any other substances

 

Yeah I can tell, must be mad chilled the fuck out, eh.

I just realized tonight that proper action movies set in a good country with decent story make me forget enough shit and not give a fuck about messed up situations.

Mad discoveries...

xJapan
xChilling with my boy
xDecent action movies

And fuck Batman was such a shit movie...

 

MAD CHILLED

u should check out that flick defiance and the che movie good shit

 

Yeah man no doubt La Coka thats the cold hard truth. Takes a lifetime to find the perfect partner and even then it may not work, and Ouchaoner. That shit sucks man I was guilt tripped and abused straight up for like 9 months by my X she was the biggest Puerto Recan bitch ever, and when I eventually got rid of her, her 24 year old cousins who are in gangs n shit where sendin death threts n shit, fucked up. She was thretening she was gunna kill herself it fucked with my head, Had like a mental break down n shit it was fucked, and I agree with you Lifer fuck your fucking city, hit roof after roof after roof wall after wall after wall, and trains n freights if you got them. I paint every night and I can't wait untill the night comes every night so I can go write on peoples shit ^^

 

Damn right hawdoah son.

And fuck a lifetime sometimes it just happens out of the blue that you find someone so connecting that you guys end up being made for each other and that's what happened to me and as always not all tooth grinds so you gotta sharpen it up a bit more and I made myself better for that person too and it was still messed up and sometimes even a lifetime isn't often enough 'cause it's RARE as to find someone like that soulfully connected to you and people often tend not to find that person hence the fuck ups, 'cause hey even if you do find that person, some sort of shit can tear you apart, say death? But seriously though, I don't go looking around for shit like that or for anyone and I was happy because I was being myself and not once did I fall for anyone and this amazing person comes into my life and chooses me out of the blue so fuck knows what I did I'm just that same guy day in day out. And as far as the system goes, I'm taking my turf by storm once I'm back. Plus I'm cracking a few sketches in a bit once I'm done with my LATE LATE LATE night/morning snackumz...

 

bilal i dont have time to read all the shit now bout to go out an drink some but i will later..but from what i have read yeah i feel you and thanks..seriously its like the exact same shit.i just gotta start my life over.

 

dawg i know this exact feeling except for the best friend part now im in my new relationship and for some reason i cant trust her worth nothing idk wtf to do like all that runs thru my head is getting fucked over like i did last time and it drives me nuts

 

Just wait your feelings for each other develop, give it time and obviously observe all this while where this is going, see if you guys TRULY love each other and shit 'cause I kind of had that fear a bit in the beginning but my girl really fucking loved me like crazy or at least that's what I thought but point that just bond with each other and if it's that strong you'll really feel it and it's going to be too damn powerful, just be safe you know, hope for the best and prepare for the worst, I messed up 'cause I hoped and prepared for the best and fucked the worst 'cause we were truly in love then these fucked up forums came in the way and fucked shit up for me but screw my story just give it time all I'm saying, y'dig?

 

yea i feel you maybe i just rushed into shit again but i do love her like after wat i went thru this girl finally got me to open up again for the first time i just dont know if im gettin it back or not but ima just wait on it see were it goes... back that up man