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Pick Up Lines

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by **MATEO**, Aug 13, 2006.

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  1. civicman

    civicman Senior Member

    • Messages: 72
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    you'll do or
    First, I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I'll move up to your belly button.
     
  2. DISKO NEVER DIESSS

    DISKO NEVER DIESSS Senior Member

    • Messages: 146
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    this whole thread is the epitome of 12 year olds
     
  3. morningglory

    morningglory Elite Member

    • Messages: 1,728
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    we have a winner
     
  4. DephOne

    DephOne Senior Member

    • Messages: 182
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    i just pull out my penis, and yell "free breathalizer tests".
     
  5. clone20

    clone20 Senior Member

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    hey wa-sup baby, I'm like milk i can do your body good.
    ;)
     
  6. sketch3

    sketch3 Banned

    • Messages: 5,759
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    im half irsh soo i ask if they have any irish blood in them,if they say noo i say well would u like 2,if they say yess i say would u like summ more
    lol im soo nasty
     
  7. PureSole

    PureSole Elite Member

    • Messages: 1,009
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    your a virgin arent you?



    i wanna try this:
    you want a magnum in you? now it could mean a condom, a marker or a gun
    or all 3

    hm put a marker in a condom, shove it up a pussy, shoot the marker.... :) it would look awesome
     
  8. freeskier1292

    freeskier1292 Senior Member

    • Messages: 74
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    Do you want to put some lipstick on?

    Cuz i want you to be pretty when you get FUCKED!



    I lost my puppy.......

    I think it ran into this cheap hotel room


    I have a 6 inch tongue and i can breather out of my ears...
     
  9. D'$iduurr..

    D'$iduurr.. Senior Member

    • Messages: 53
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    Lemme Beat Those!
    allday
     
  10. civicman

    civicman Senior Member

    • Messages: 72
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    you mean ruby throated cock sucker? [/b][/quote]
    no i ment the bare brested muff diver ;)
     
  11. explosivo_420

    explosivo_420 Elite Member

    • Messages: 1,782
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    "I would never hurt you, it would be amazing, you wouldnt believe it"


    and believe it or not, ive used that line on some girl the same way and its worked.
     
  12. Smithy

    Smithy Member

    • Messages: 27
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    i choose not to believe it lol.
     
  13. Ares_23us

    Ares_23us Senior Member

    • Messages: 154
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    grt in the car bitch
     
  14. FaultO

    FaultO Elite Member

    • Messages: 1,963
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    hot lunches are served at my place.
     
  15. >SM!7K<

    >SM!7K< Elite Member

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    • Likes Received: 2
  16. TalibKweli

    TalibKweli Elite Member

    • Messages: 1,150
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    me: hello, i saw you sitting by yourself, need some company?
    she: sure why not, what's your name
    me: my name is whoa
    she: im Karen, please to meet you
    me: well Karen, meat to please you
     
  17. Socrates

    Socrates Senior Member

    • Messages: 446
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    this made me laugh
    its just stupid
     
  18. TalibKweli

    TalibKweli Elite Member

    • Messages: 1,150
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    :lol: Mateo is funny





























    he lives in New Hampshire
     
  19. >SM!7K<

    >SM!7K< Elite Member

    • Messages: 1,875
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    To a girl with braces, and if you have them as well: "Hey, wanna hook up sometime?"
    ---

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    If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
    not enough

    0
    Pardon me, have you seen my missing Nobel Prize around here anywhere?
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    Are you accepting applications for your fan club?
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    Hey baby... drop that zero and get with the hero in other words... you better come with me.
    10

    10
    Hey baby you're so fine you make me stutter, wha-wha-what's your name?
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    My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to
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    Hi... would you fuck me? I'd fuck me, I'd fuck me real hard!!
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    Is your name Pepsi cause' I've gotta have it.
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    There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn't go by myself.....
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    Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
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    When I first saw you, I knew we could win the Stanley Cup in tonsil hockey.
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    Want to taste my dick? (What!?!) I said, "do you want to taste my drink?"
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    They call me "coffee". I grind so fine.
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    Can I stir your drink? Mind if I use my dick?
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    Which one of the Spice girls are you?
    54

    2
    Male: Hey, I don't feel to good. Female: Why? Male: I feel like I have an elephant in my stomach. Female: What? Male: (looking down) I think his truck is already sticking out.
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    Weren't you at the tractor pull last night? I remember your tits.
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    Hi, my name is Doug. That's "god" spelled backwards with a little bit of you wrapped up in it.
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    (Used while you and a male friend wear a bib. Walk up and stare at breasts) Mama!
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    This is a test of the emergency pick up line service. Beeeeeeeeeep. If you had been any less beautiful, you would have just heard a bad pick up line.
    Instead, they had to hear that.

    0
    Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
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    Guy: I bet you're a C-cup. Girl: How'd you know that? Guy: My testicles are the same size.
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    My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in
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    Did your father have sex with a carrot? Cause you've got nice eyes.
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    I'm bigger and better than the Titanic..... only 200 woman went down on the Titanic
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    Can I take you to the Bone-yard?
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    I may not be dairy queen but I'll treat you right!!!
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    Tickle your pussy with a feather? (What?) I said, "Particularly nice weather."
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    My love for you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in.
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    Did you just sit in a water puddle, or are you just happy to see me?
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    Damn, have you been eating beans and rice lately?
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    I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?
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    I just shit into my pants. Can I get into yours?
    4

    -3
    Do you like magic? (Yes or No) I want to cast a spell on you with my magic meat wand.
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    For what sort of person are you looking? Wait- don't tell me: medium height, blue eyes, etc...
    15

    5
    Roses are red, violets are blue, I have warts, so will you.
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    Don't worry about the missing teeth. It just means that there is more room for your tongue.
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    Are you menstruating? If so, I know how to insert tampons.
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    I can see you. [Uh, yeah.] Great! Then how about tomorrow.
    4

    2!!!
    Hi, I'm foreign. I've got Russian hands and Roman fingers.
    Get it? Rushing and Roaming?

    Haa haa
    Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position.
    ?

    2
    So you wanna get laid? Then crawl up a chicken's butt and wait.
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    If you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable.
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    Can you help me up? My dick is too big.
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    Can I borrow 70 cents? (No) Then how about 69. I'm sure you can offer 69.
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    Excuse me, but do you have tickets? (Tickets for what?) (Points to arm and flex) To the gun show!
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    You remind me of Pokemon. I just wanna piccachu.
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    Beww BEWWW Beww (What?) That is the sound of the ambulance coming to pick me up because when I saw you my heart stopped!
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    Good day for weather.
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    You know what you and corn have in common? (No) Absolutely nothing! (laugh hysterically at yourself.)
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    I wet my pants... can I get in yours?
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    Got two nipples for a dime?
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    Are you Natasha, my contact?
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    You must be this beautiful (make hand gesture for small height) to ride the me.
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    You're so hot, your ass is on fire.
    15

    12 (I believe this guy)
    If you were a dwarf, you'd probably say I got a big dick.
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    You know, when you and I get old and your son/daughter comes up to me and says "Daddy, how did you meet mommy?" I'm gonna have to tell him/her how quiet you were, or how difficult you were being."
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    OK, it's not very big and I'm not very good, but I've got the cutest little way of getting on and off.
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    Drive around like a car and make screeching sounds and say "Uh, sorry, my uh, breaks aren't working well. Where are you headed?"
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    Excuse me. Do you have chicken in your fridge? (yes) How big are your breasts?
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    It's not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.
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    Um, you have really beautiful.....uh....eyes, yea. You are pretty. What I mean is... You have a nice forehead. (Messing Up) Do you believe in when I walk by..... (To yourself) Oh Man, shit, STUPID STUPID STUPID!
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    If I stuck my cock in Ajax for an hour,would you suck it? NO!! Dirty cock sucker!
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    Ever tried to poop into a toilet when there's someone sitting there with you? (nudge with elbow)
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    I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.
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    You must be an adverb, because you sure do modify me!
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    Excuse me. Do you put on a foundation before you put on a powder? (Yeah.) Can I have your phone number?
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    I think you and I should dipthong.
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    I'd suck a fart out of your ass and hold it like a bong hit.
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    Hi, I have my own place... well, my own room... in my parents basement...
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    Put a pen and a $20 in your pocket. Approach the target and take out the twenty and the pen. Rip the $20 in half and write your number on one half. Give the target the other half, then say call me tonight so we can figure out how to send that money, and walk away.
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    Did you invite all of these people? I thought it was just going to be the two of us.
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    Your graphics are so beautiful that they rival Doom 3.
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    Can I try a few pick up lines on you? [give some good ones and some lame ones] OK, I have just one more line for you: Can I try a few pick up lines on you?
    1

    1
    (Rub her forehead) Did you know that you've got "threesome" written on your forehead?
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    0
    My name is Justin. Justincredible.
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    Hey, there. I've got a question for you. What's the speed limit of sex? (I don't know) 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around!
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    Excuse me, but would you like to hold the priesthood?
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    If you were my sister/brother, incest would be cool.
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    Was your father a 'meat burgler'? It looks like somebody took fine hams and shoved them down the back of your dress!
    ---

    PeacE
     
  20. Wilt

    Wilt Senior Member

    • Messages: 218
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    i may not be fred flintstone but i can make your bedrock