as sad as it sounds, at points ive wanted to kill myself recently but like urban pirate said, and im not sure if this si what he meant, but i havent hti up as many spota as id like. and i want to perfeect techniques and alot of stuff about and to do with graffiti made me think, " its not time yet"
moze is you died i would do a toy ass mural for you.dont make people look at somthing that bad. so dont die for me and the people
ahahaha thanks man but that was a while ago. i go to therapy now and shit. so its all good. woot for anti-pychotics, anti-depressants, Zxanax and all the drugs ive gotten from the psyciatrist guyman sir. person
my mom got in a really bad car crash before i was born and has sezures or how ever you spell it and it was rough growing up my dad is not around much always working and on top of the my mom drinks hella. so i never really had anyone there for me it fucked me up mentaly i get like really emtionally and shit idk it really weird dont like talking about it
is all good i hear ya man. my life im not gonna say was the worst of all but it sucked around age 13 area and hasnt gotten better.
same like last year all my grandparents died my dad almost died twice from a staff infection my mom had AA and was arested my parents got divorced then back together i failed school..........the list goes on lifes a bitch whatever you learn to live with it
Yeah, lots of good stuff in this thread. I like to see some serious things on here, not all about beef. Suicide is serious stuff for sure. I think about suicide almost constantly, whether it's why I do or don't want to do it. I know that one day, things are just gonna be better. I don't know when it's gonna be, but all I can do is strive for that day. I feel like nothing is right in my life other than graffiti, which is fucked up but I thank god for it. I think that a few things said in the first few pages of this thread, I feel like that chaotic order in my life balances other shit out. Things have never been the best for me but I know that one day will come, and with it will come happiness. I might find myself in a similar situation to how it is now, but I can only hope I can be more positive than negative to keep myself sane and functioning. Suicide is never the answer, things might be bad and they could easily get worse, but if you wait long enough things will start to get better.
I think about it a fair bit but really whenever shit gets down I sorta cool off and realise these three things. 1. I'm too narcissistic to hurt myself. 2. People care about me too much and I care about them too much to put them through my shit. 3. Theres so much stuff I havn't done that I would still like to experience.
To be honest, after getting through a bout of depression, whether it's long or not, you've permanently got a different look at life, and nobody can change that. After you've seen things from an apathetic point of view where your either pissed off or just plain sad and feel like your under everything, when you come out of it, you have a total new respect for life as it is. I notice like 70% of my friends have been through some sort of depression or suicidal state, that shit never truly leaves you. When shit gets hard emotionally or mentally, those old feelings are there to remind me of how bad it could be. Nothing is worse than being so depressed that you find yourself thinking about suicide. You're there and you know you're there, and you don't want to be. But, like everything that happens to me or I go through, I use it as a learning experience, a tool that helps you cope with some of the other shit we go through
for the past couple of months especially, ive been really curious about how my friends and family would react if i did die or commit suicide. Idk its kinda fucked up but ive thought about it everyday for a long time now; just thinking how individual people would react when they found out i was dead. i dont plan opn doing anything of the sort, but i do think about it alot. but to moze: yeah thats what i meant. i havent done enough graf in my life, im not good enough yet. and i plan to die famous, either way.
on the first a friend of a few of my friends killed himself he had just broke up with his girl and threw himself infront of a train. we saw the cops baggin up pieces of him later in the train yard i hang around right before he did it he sent a text to a bunch of friendsa text sayin "Good-bye I Love You." I cant get the image of cops pickin up body parts and baggin him outta my head. I think next time I hit that yard I'm gonna do a memorial piece outta respect for him.
yeah man you should do that it might help get ur mind off him. there was a memorial to a writer that was killed in the city i live in it was up for a long time until some fuckin losers came and wrote shit all over it i cant beleive they did that its like str8 disrespect anyway, nice idea
ya do that sorry to hear losing someone close isnt easy shit.I just got put back in therapy today i pissed that fucker thinks he knows every fucking thing about me and can change me fuck him. MY lifes fucked and and he never gonna understand one fucking thing about me i dont even fucking understand my self fucking no one does.FUCKING littel bitchs think they know everything it piss's me off.On top of that every gay ass fuck my age trys to start shit whenever they get to chance drama drama drama i hate this shit everyone is to fucking imature my age................................................BAD DAY
u sound alot older than 13 i guess thats where the maturity part comes in i had to go to psyciatry or w.e when i was younger i fuckin hated it all they do is ask questions it pisses me off now my mom wants to put me in anger management lol so i started smoking lots of weed to mellow out i know i shouldnt rely on drugs but its better than fuck therapy
ya everyone says i act A LOT older than i am kinda sucks.ya word fucking shrinks think they know how the world works.hahah.i would do drugs but it just isnt really my thing i just take pain killers when i in a really bad mood.vicoden is my buddy.
i dunno wat that is and i dont know how to get painkillers isnt that some like prescription shit the closest ive ever come to that is chugging have a bottle of benylin extra strengh cough syrup i didnt know it got you fucked up and i started tripping out real bad...
ya it is broke my arm and took the other pain killers so i have like 20 pills. lol that sucks i have had that happen with this she triple c