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Blackbooks

Discussion in 'Toys forum' started by Kayone707, Jun 15, 2005.

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  1. JETPACK!!

    JETPACK!! Banned

    • Messages: 1,940
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    honestly what the shit, a page or two ago kids were givin out like 5 crits each. now they forgot how to again. shits wack

    raver, your shits wack, i cant read it. can you honestly see rave in that yourself? the closet i can see outta that is PDD=.. but the = is fucked up, maybe a wack C. block letters. go on microsoft word, pick a font. expand the width of the letters.
    and give some god damned crits

    demo, dont highlight the the whole outline of your letter, with the 3d you have, highlight the bottom an a bit up the sides.
    give some god damned crits

    camer i already critted your other two, but your recent sketch, dont have that tail on the top of your A going to the left, it kinna makes your C look like an E

    wassup blue. rule #1, give crits if you want em. im being nice this time only cuz i feel line crabbin out with some crits. your fourth sketch is your best. dont mix lowercase and capital letters. pick one an stick with it for that sketch. your 3rd last sucks, make it simple letters and add some 3d to it. try not to have so much deadspace in the middle of your letters
    give crits to get them
     
  2. B1ue

    B1ue Member

    • Messages: 6
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    That's coo...but if you look back up on my posts...I did give crits. My bad if it's not good enough. And thanks for the crits as well bro...I'll b sure to look more into my ish!

    "ONE"
     
  3. Cyto Aka Son1c

    Cyto Aka Son1c Elite Member

    • Messages: 527
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    yeah blue man, you hide you L's in like 90% of your shit thats you've posted, it'd look a whole lot better is you spaced your letters man
     
  4. Techkanuck

    Techkanuck Senior Member

    • Messages: 230
    • Likes Received: 3
    ai19.photobucket.com_albums_b159_civichatch2005_Picture194.jpg

    I'll crit when there's more on the page and I have more time.
     
  5. Kayel

    Kayel Member

    • Messages: 6
    • Likes Received: 0
    Hey everyone this is my first post in the forums, so i hope i landed in the right area. I've just started writing a few weeks ago, and I wanted some feedback on my work. This is the best thing i've done so far so i'm ready to take the heat (i really don't expect anyone to be kind )

    It says Sear ( btw. is this name taken? )
    I did the coloring with highlighter and 2 fine tip sharpies for the green areas

    [Broken External Image]:http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/2989/0327082121kx2.th.jpg

    I also understand i should give some feedback but i really don't think it's my place as a totally new writer to give criticism... i'l wait till i know how bad my work is
     
  6. Cyto Aka Son1c

    Cyto Aka Son1c Elite Member

    • Messages: 527
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  7. Techkanuck

    Techkanuck Senior Member

    • Messages: 230
    • Likes Received: 3
    V had some issues so the weirdness was the fix
     
  8. Mr. Octane

    Mr. Octane Member

    • Messages: 12
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    My crits for this page....
    Vois- i like that throwie i dont see anything really wrong with it, personally i would choose a different fill color buts thats all personal preference so i cant really crit u on that overall good job
    Tare- pretty nice simples, the only thing i would suggest to make the piece flow better would be to angle the bottom of the R down so it would match the curve of the A, and then move the E closer
    Sear- not a bad start, since ur jus starting out tho id say to worry less about fills and work on making sure all ur letters are the same size and flow good. For example i would suggest moving the A up so it doesnt drop below the other letters and making the bottom of the R to go in the same direction as the bottom of the A, you want eveything to be even and clean


    bumpin my stuff up for any other crits...

     
  9. Kayel

    Kayel Member

    • Messages: 6
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    @ Octane

    Thank now that you mention it i realize that the A kinda dipped low. Il get to work on it :)

    About your work i was gonna say that the N looked a little sketchy. The middle connector looked off . And even out the Z. The top part looks to skinny compared to the bottom.

    @ Tare

    I like it, but the R looks off. The leg looks weird way up there . Just my 2 cents


    Edit : I'm working on a modified on to make those changes. Check out this skeleton, wanted some feedback

    [Broken External Image]:http://img252.imageshack.us/img252/545/0327082205wq2.th.jpg
     
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2008
  10. Bmx516

    Bmx516 Member

    • Messages: 8
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  11. NEZ89

    NEZ89 Senior Member

    • Messages: 271
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    kayel- stay simple, style comes once you've got the basics down

    BMX- start with block letters, they are easier than bubble letters.
    And step away from fills until u get better with your letters.

    Octane- keep your bars the same width, the D and N are a bit off

    Cyto- like oct said, drop the leg of the R so it flows better

    Tech- the S needs a bit of work but it's nice overall, keep it up
     
  12. amberTrichome

    amberTrichome Member

    • Messages: 27
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    Are you on crack bmx? Try doing something straight so you can get your coloring down...
    Octane if it was even across it would look good the I and cross bar of the N are a lil off too...
    Nice simple tare
    Blue feelin that vertical one you did that shit is sexy.
    Kayel does it say star or something? try keeping stuff even and simple not all over the place if not like flowing properly...
    ai164.photobucket.com_albums_u26_amberTrichome_Photo0039_002.jpg
    some shit from today think ima put a purple outline around it later...
    http://i164.photobucket.com/albums/u26/amberTrichome/Photo0036_001.jpg
    ^my sativa :)
     
  13. .D.H.

    .D.H. Senior Member

    • Messages: 183
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    [Broken External Image]:http://img172.imageshack.us/img172/7800/vermontdp3.jpg
    school is boring..

    ambertrichome: charac's not lookin to good, but your letters are solid simples. lose that blood drip fill though. handstyles could use a little work too

    Kayel: not good... cant read it, its overlapping bars all over the place, no structure, bars arent same thickness, no sense of direction. pretty much definition as wack. sorry. go to simpler letters

    Dozen: letters overlap too much, try an keep consistent thickness through a letter, and the sketch for that matter. keep practicing

    cyto aka: the TARE is the best. the bottom of your e loses some thickness though

    vois: forget that coloring and fix the top part of the S and it aint so bad. very generic. keep at practicing.

    keep laboring away
     
  14. RFI. SPit

    RFI. SPit Moderator

    • Messages: 2,458
    • Likes Received: 14
    Hahah word thanks!
     
  15. Sundowner

    Sundowner New Member

    • Messages: 3
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    my first piece up here. lemme know what you think


    <a href="http://s2.photobucket.com/albums/y10/kidfantastic/?action=view&current=IMG00006.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y10/kidfantastic/IMG00006.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>
     
  16. NEZ89

    NEZ89 Senior Member

    • Messages: 271
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    fixed

    never do a wildstyle for your first peice, i learned that the hardway
    start with basic block letters and work your way up
     
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2008
  17. Sundowner

    Sundowner New Member

    • Messages: 3
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  18. Sundowner

    Sundowner New Member

    • Messages: 3
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    not my first peice ever, just my first peice on this forum
     
  19. Kayel

    Kayel Member

    • Messages: 6
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    I'd like more critiques on this one mostly, the other one was crap :D. Want to know if the leter structure is good and any other tips. Right now i am working on making the A be on the same level as the rest
     
  20. Mr. Octane

    Mr. Octane Member

    • Messages: 12
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    Bmx516- listen to Nez, start with block letters
    amberTrichome- im feelin those letters man, it should b lookin fresh when u outline them
    D.H- thats dope bro...im thinkin if u maybe threw some 3d on there it would b lookin better tho
    Sundowner- I like the colors and its pretty damn clean, but i suggest u try it a littler simpler

    this is jus a sketch i did...tried to seperate the letters more like people suggested...

    [Broken External Image]:http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n188/HighOctane89/dozin1-1.jpg

    any quick crits b4 i finish it up?