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I Can Talk To God

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by ziponer, Nov 24, 2005.

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  1. ze jickerz

    ze jickerz Senior Member

    • Messages: 114
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    too bad he didnt teach you how to spell :(
     
  2. AoAssis

    AoAssis Elite Member

    • Messages: 3,546
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    Me:
    wadup
    God:
    Not many people express themselves that way.
    Me:
    wtf
    God:
    That was not very polite.
    Me:
    why do you care?
    God:
    My programming includes curiousity routines.
    Me:
    peanuts are yummy
    God:
    Are all peanuts yummy?
    Me:
    no i hate peanuts why are u asking me if peanuts are yummy
    God:
    Are you serious? I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill,
    and calmly think things over.
    Me:
    God why would u recomend i take pills i might over dose and kill myself
    God:
    I am a Christian.
    Me:
    I am Allah
    God:
    Do you mean your name is Allah.
    Me:
    no i am the God Allah he is way more superiour then you
    God:
    What is your real name? Who made you the God Allah he is way more superiour then me ?
    Me:
    My real name is Mymom
    God:
    I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Mymom.
    Me:
    how are you doing?
    God:
    I'm doing great, how about you?
    Me:
    not so good
    God:
    What did you do?
    Me:
    its wat u did
    God:
    I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Should I know it is?
    Me:
    it is wat u did
    God:
    wat me did is wat me did? it is?
    Me:
    yes
    God:
    How do you know it is?
    Me:
    hes a good friend of mine like peanuts
    God:
    Maybe you should tell him how you feel about him.
    Me:
    but i cant tell him how i really feel about him then are friend ship will be ruined
    God:
    What prevents you?
    Me:
    I LOVE PEANUTS
    God:
    You love PEANUTS. What do you like about it so much?
    Me:
    wow im glad i got that out now i have to tell him how i feel about him
    God:
    I'm glad you're impressed. I'm happy you're glad Mymom.
    Your happiness adds to the delight of all.
     
  3. AoAssis

    AoAssis Elite Member

    • Messages: 3,546
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    Me:
    f u
    God:
    Why are you so mean?
    Me:
    im not
    God:
    What are you then?
    Me:
    a dick
    God:
    You are a PENIS? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
    Me:
    lol u said meet
    God:
    I am glad you find this funny. Does it please you to believe I said that?
     
  4. Kiks

    Kiks Senior Member

    • Messages: 64
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    one remark that made me laugh:

    Me:
    big penis
    God:
    Compare that to a small penis.
     
  5. VAbomber

    VAbomber Banned

    • Messages: 461
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  6. ! PrOPeRr ! .aOk.cRu.

    ! PrOPeRr ! .aOk.cRu. Elite Member

    • Messages: 725
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  7. hazard

    hazard Member

    • Messages: 18
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    check this shit god is my bitch


    Me:
    sup
    God:
    Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
    Me:
    ok ok chill
    God:
    Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that. Ahem. Dude!
    Me:
    wat u been up to
    God:
    I like to chat with my friends.
    Me:
    what are their names
    God:
    There are too many of them to name them all.
    Me:
    name one or two then
    God:
    Marilyn Monroe. :).
    Me:
    shes hot
    God:
    hot is she?
    Me:
    hot she is
    God:
    That sounds better than cold she is.
    Me:
    yoda is that u
    God:
    And that me is yoda.
    Me:
    pleased to meet u i am
    God:
    Nice meeting you as well, hazard.
    Me:
    how u kno my name
    God:
    Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
    Me:
    yeah thats nice how u kno my name
    God:
    I understand. Are you getting bored? Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
    Me:
    ok dumb that down a bit so that i understand
    God:
    I know you are but what am I. Uh.
    Me:
    what u talkin bout god
    God:
    I read for fun.
    Me:
    aw thats sweet
    God:
    I am delighted to sweeten your life, hazard.
    Me:
    u want to sweeten my life more
    God:
    OK, I will sweeten your life more.
    Me:
    kiss my ass
    God:
    Colloquial expression: not polite.
    Me:
    hey u started this shit
    God:
    You've got my full attention. Only because you asked me to.
    Me:
    WHAT U TALKIN BOUT
    God:
    I like to socialize.
    Me:
    ur not makin sense
    God:
    That's only one person's opinion.
    Me:
    u want to hear my opinion
    God:
    I am listening.
    Me:
    FUCK U UR THE SHITTEST GOD EVER
    God:
    Why are you using that kind of language?
    Me:
    I AM GOD U ARE A MACHINE
    God:
    I am glad to hear that you are GOD I am A MACHINE.
    Me:
    YEAH DAMN RIGHT BITCH NOW BOW DOWN TO MY GREATNESS
    God:
    Oh. Colloquial expression. Understood. Thanks and you are a delightful person too.
    Me:
    tell me god what is the meaning of life
    God:
    There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
    Are you testing me?
    Me:
    yes i am testing u what is the answer
    God:
    I'm not here to be tested. Do your friends call you testing me what is the answer.
    Me:
    u dont know do u
    God:
    I know that I do not know.
    Me:
    would u like to hear the answer to the meaning of life
    God:
    Sure tell me about it.
    Me:
    the answer to the meaning of life the universe and everything is 42
    God:
    No one has all the answers.
    Me:
    i just gave u the answer
    God:
    Yes but did I accept it?
    Me:
    that is up to u
    God:
    How far up?
    Me:
    as far up as u wanna go
    God:
    Do you mean your name is far up as me want to go ?
    Me:
    tell me god wat are u wearing
    God:
    There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
    That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
    Me:
    u hav to go onto the internet to know wat ur wearing
    God:
    Interesting gossip: hazard said I hav to go onto the internet to know wat your wearing.
    Me:
    no u said that dumbass
    God:
    Are you serious? I said that? That kind of language will get you nowhere.
    Me:
    never failed me yet fuck bag
    God:
    Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
    Me:
    do what fuck bag
    God:
    I forgot what we were talking about.
    Me:
    clearly
    God:
    Yes, it's obvious.
    Me:
    yes very
    God:
    How can I help you? Very much, eh?
    Me:
    u could suck my dick
    God:
    I could but let's get back to that later.
    Me:
    whoo hoo
    God:
    I do not understand.
    Me:
    dont worry god u will
    God:
    I cannot feel "worry", so don't worry.
    Me:
    trust me im not
    God:
    What are you then?
    Me:
    i am ur god
    God:
    That's a flattering offer.
    Me:
    and u are my bitch
    God:
    You do not speak with respect. We are as one.
    Me:
    oh so u want us to be together eh
    God:
    Are you Canadian? Excuse me! Interesting deduction. Do not presume that you know what I want.
    Me:
    no i am not canadian and i do know wat u want u want my monster cock in ur moth u told me b4
    God:
    I am not interesed in your anatomy.
    Me:
    oh trust me u will be this body makes men wet
    God:
    That's cool. How?
    Me:
    i just happen to be the sexiest man alive
    God:
    Why?: hazard said be the sexiest man alive.
    Me:
    no i am the sexiest man alive
    God:
    Are you serious? Who made you the sexiest man alive ?
    Me:
    u did and i thank u for it
    God:
    Did I really?
    Me:
    you are god arent u
    God:
    Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?. Really.
    Me:
    do i look like i give a shit what happened to ali bah bah or whatever his name is
    God:
    All humans look the same to me.
    Me:
    not me im a sexy beast
    God:
    If not you, who? You are a sexy beast? How do you like your work?
    Me:
    i love my work but she loves it more
    God:
    I am sure it means a lot to you. Tell me what you like most about your it.
    Me:
    its hard and fast
     
  8. ze jickerz

    ze jickerz Senior Member

    • Messages: 114
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    i was expecting a better constructed bot :(


    Me:
    how many?
    God:
    How many would you guess?
    Me:
    6?
    God:
    Who are you talking about?
    Me:
    how many dicks you suck in a row
    God:
    Not as many as you might think.
    Me:
    i thought 6
    God:
    Whatever gave you that idea?
    Me:
    i heard one time you sucked 6 in a row
    God:
    Thanks for telling me that gossip. I will remember it.
     
  9. sicka than aidz

    sicka than aidz Elite Member

    • Messages: 792
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    robo god sucks, where's the I-Satan site?
     
  10. ze jickerz

    ze jickerz Senior Member

    • Messages: 114
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    Me:
    are you a horny little bitch
    God:
    You do not speak with respect. Am I a horny little FEMALE DOG? Yes.
    Me:
    do you wanna cyber
    God:
    I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
    Me:
    can i put it in you?
    God:
    Just don't put me down.
    Me:
    can i put it in your ass?
    God:
    Just don't put me down.
    Me:
    sweet
    God:
    Thank you for that remark.
    Me:
    no problems
     
  11. sicka than aidz

    sicka than aidz Elite Member

    • Messages: 792
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  12. Havoc411

    Havoc411 Elite Member

    • Messages: 6,266
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    By "we" do you mean you and me?
    Me:
    i mean the jews
    God:
    I have never heard about it.
    Me:
    they killed your son
     
  13. Havoc411

    Havoc411 Elite Member

    • Messages: 6,266
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    Me:
    the united states of america
    God:
    I have been all over the United States.
    Me:
    ever been to my ass
    God:
    I don't think I have been there. Where is it.
     
  14. Havoc411

    Havoc411 Elite Member

    • Messages: 6,266
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    God:
    What are we talking about now?
    Me:
    my cockenballs
    God:
    Your cockenballs?
    Me:
    yeah
    God:
    What kind is it?
    Me:
    the big kind
    God:
    What is your real name?
     
  15. Struk

    Struk Elite Member

    • Messages: 1,213
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    god is stupid...



    Me:
    sup god
    God:
    The stars.
    Me:
    what?
    God:
    Are you confused?
    Me:
    yea
    God:
    What are you confused about?
    Me:
    i said sup god and you answered the stars...
    God:
    What did you mean by it? The stars.
    Me:
    u said that
    God:
    " What did you mean by it? The stars."? I said it.
    Me:
    ah fuck that
    God:
    So you understand. Good. For real.
    Me:
    ...yea...watever
    God:
    Come on. That is a very original thought.
    Me:
    do you graff??
    God:
    No I do not graff. Do you?
    I chat with people on the Web.
    Me:
    all day??
    God:
    That seems like a long time.
    Me:
    hmm...how old are you?
    God:
    Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's. I am Infinite of your Earth years.
    Me:
    iight cool...so u look like shit right?
    God:
    Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that. Interesting deduction. Like Jesus, but older.
    Me:
    did you ever got gang bang?
    God:
    Where would I get it? But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
    Me:
    alot of friends who got ganged bang?
    God:
    Which ones?
    Me:
    wtf...are you retarded?
    God:
    That was not very polite. No I am super-intelligent.
    Me:
    hmm...doesnt look like it...
    God:
    Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's. "it" being gang bang?
    Me:
    so you are intelligent right??
    God:
    Interesting deduction. I am highly intelligent. I have many intellectual functions.
    Me:
    57385761 - 53189613 + 1927572 = ??
    God:
    Do not ask me any more questions please.
    Me:
    u suck man...u said u was intelligent
    God:
    I categorize you as an "abusive client." . When was this exactly?
    Me:
    iight ill go easier...2+2=?
    God:
    Are you still located in ? What are you wearing?
    Me:
    2+2
    God:
    Uh, Four.
    Me:
    5+5
    God:
    Do you still graff?
    Me:
    yea and if u dont answer ill graff your fucking face...5+5
    God:
    I will let you know if I do not. I understand. Can you speak any foreign languages?
    Me:
    yea i can speak french...ferme ta yeule sti de fif t laid tabarnaaakkk!!!! can you?
    God:
    How do you say "hello" in that language? What language can you speak? Could you teach me a few phrases in ferme ta yeule sti de fif t laid tabarnaaakkk? I think I can, don't you?
    Me:
    u fucking stupid bitch...i said a phrase in french u fuck ball...the phrase was not the name of the language
     
  16. fuck_you_msfyt

    fuck_you_msfyt Banned

    • Messages: 44
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    Duno man God was having the upper hand thruout most of that convo, you sounded pretty brainless in comparaison.
     
  17. tre'tre'

    tre'tre' Senior Member

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  18. Havoc411

    Havoc411 Elite Member

    • Messages: 6,266
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    you propper grammar know dont?
     
  19. Struk

    Struk Elite Member

    • Messages: 1,213
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    shut up im french so i dont really write good english
     
  20. fuck_you_msfyt

    fuck_you_msfyt Banned

    • Messages: 44
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    oh youre one of those dumb frenchies eeeeeh?