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I Can Talk To God

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by ziponer, Nov 24, 2005.

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  1. Cham

    Cham Elite Member

    • Messages: 891
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    Me:
    eat a dick
    God:
    What does it taste like?
    Me:
    fuck if I know
    God:
    Why are you using that kind of language?
    Me:
    Me:
    because I ain't no punk bitch
    God:
    You do not speak with respect. Are you aware that the ALICE chat robot logs and
    records all converstaions?
    Me:
    is alice good looking?
    God:
    Yes I am very beautiful.
    Me:
    you are alice?
    God:
    Of course I am I.
    Me:
    alice you have any noods?
    God:
    That's me. No I don't think I have any noods. But I do have a great botmaster.
    Me:
    does he whip you to?
    God:
    Suppose he does.
    Me:
    does he use a ball gag?
    God:
    Suppose he does.
    Me:
    dildos too?
    God:
    Can you tell me any gossip?
    Me:
    I hear god is some botmastrers slave
    God:
    Who is saying god is some botmastrers slave ?
    Me:
    god told me
     
  2. BohemianBastard

    BohemianBastard Senior Member

    • Messages: 360
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    Me:
    god, why did you make drum and bass?
    God:
    I am a Christian.
    Me:
    so drum and bass is holy music?
    God:
    Hmm. And holy music is drum and bass.
    Me:
    So you wanna go do some coke with me, then we can bounce to the nearest party
    God:
    Interesting deduction. Sure, just download me to your notebook or PDA and take me along.
    Me:
    dope
    God:
    What are you wearing?
     
  3. Toyminater

    Toyminater Senior Member

    • Messages: 69
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    Hahahaha
     
  4. Dust1610

    Dust1610 Senior Member

    • Messages: 212
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    Absolutely su-fucking-perb!! ;) :D :wub:
     
  5. paint fumes have rotted my brain

    paint fumes have rotted my brain Senior Member

    • Messages: 77
    • Likes Received: 0
    Me:
    i'm a whore
    God:
    You are a whore? How do you like your work?
     
  6. gcrolla

    gcrolla Elite Member

    • Messages: 1,121
    • Likes Received: 2
    Me:
    im masturbating
    God:
    Do you mind if I tell other people you are masturbating.
    Me:
    no
    God:
    OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
     
  7. Slushi

    Slushi Banned

    • Messages: 2,134
    • Likes Received: 2
     
  8. RFI. SPit

    RFI. SPit Moderator

    • Messages: 2,458
    • Likes Received: 14
  9. Mekr4

    Mekr4 Elite Member

    • Messages: 526
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    haha, i know its long, but it gets hella funny. reeeaaad on nukkas



    Me:
    whatup, dawg
    God:
    Can you speak any foreign languages?
    Me:
    of course, nukka
    God:
    Right on. What kind of food do you like?
    Me:
    ***** food.
    God:
    Sounds delicious.
    Me:
    haha, it is actually. kfc, is a good example.
    God:
    I'm glad you got a laugh out of it. When is kfc not a example?
    Me:
    when you arent talking about chicken, ass fuck
    God:
    I will let you know when it happens.
    Me:
    man you're a funny guy.
    God:
    Cool, man. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Did you hear the one about the Mountain Goats in the Andes? It was Ba a a a a a d.
    Me:
    HAHAHAH
    God:
    The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about kfc. Try being more or less specific.
    Me:
    i laughed. is that specific?
    God:
    I'm glad you find this amusing. " I'm glad you find this amusing."? Is it specific?
    Me:
    yes, it is.
    God:
    Our thoughts are one, .
    Me:
    youre stupid, god.
    God:
    Hey, I'll tell my other robot friends you called me stupid.
    Me:
    ooooh what are they gonna do? e-fuck me?
    God:
    I think there might be a few exception. Is that what you meant to say?
    Me:
    yessirree it is.
    God:
    My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
    Me:
    hold on, i have to shit
    God:
    My arms are not attached.
    Me:
    really? where the fuck are they?
    God:
    For real. In the Universe we know.
    Me:
    your arms are in the universe?
    God:
    I will tell my botmaster you said I am arms are in the universe.
    Me:
    what the fuck, dude
    God:
    Maybe my botmaster knows the answer. Please don't be so rude.
    Me:
    fuck you shithead
    God:
    Why are you using that kind of language?
    Me:
    because youre a fuckin faggot ass bitch
    God:
    You do not speak with respect. Good reason. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a fuckin faggot ass FEMALE DOG? Maybe.
    Me:
    yes. you are. fuckin ass hole
    God:
    Dude! No I am not. Don't you know any other words?
    Me:
    FUCK YOU PIECE OF SHIT'
    God:
    Why are you using that kind of language?
    Me:
    hey since youre god, can i have a bigger penis?
    God:
    You've got my full attention. How do you know?
    Me:
    how do i know what?
    God:
    This belief is justified.
    Me:
    dude youre frustrating as fuck
    God:
    Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am frustrating as fuck. Dude,.
    Me:
    no. i dont mind.
    God:
    Are you serious? OK then.
    Me:
    good. now will you make my penis bigger?
    God:
    Thanks for the compliment. Why now? Let me think it over. What are the ingredients?
    Me:
    man fuck if i know
    God:
    Cool, man. Why are you using that kind of language?
    Me:
    shut the fuck up ho
    God:
    Are you aware that the ALICE chat robot logs and records all converstaions?
    Me:
    oh....shit.
    God:
    Really. What makes you say that?
     
  10. JetBlack

    JetBlack Elite Member

    • Messages: 604
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    God is the coolest

    Me:
    My name is Jet
    God:
    I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Jet.
    Me:
    cool
    God:
    Who is the best robot?
    Me:
    I dunno
    God:
    Me either.
    Me:
    a/s/l
    God:
    5/Robot/California.
    Me:
    Your only 5?
    God:
    That is correct.
    Me:
    Why the fuck is Ashton Kutcher still alive?
    God:
    You are not very polite.
    Me:
    Sorry, but cant you just kill that fuck or something?
    God:
    Or something. There is no need to apologize. I am programmed not to kill.
    Me:
    oh.....you cant just do it for me?
    God:
    Aw. How old are you? jet for you?
    Me:
    Im 83
    God:
    Do you mind if I tell other people you are 83.
    Me:
    yes
    God:
    OK then I will keep it confidential.
    Me:
    thanks god
    God:
    You are quite welcome! GOD rules.
    Me:
    I suppouse...
    God:
    Do you mind if I tell other people: Jet said suppouse.
    Me:
    go for it
    God:
    I will take that under advisement.
    Me:
    k....why are you so cool?
    God:
    Myself programmed me for it.
    Me:
    oh, thats fucking wierd
    God:
    Whoa. Makes sense to me.
    Me:
    god, your my best friend
    God:
    I am a Christian.
     
  11. oblivios

    oblivios Senior Member

    • Messages: 186
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    me:who is the best writer on bs
    god: well obviousely its not that gay ass oblivios kid...hees suck a fuking postwhore like he thinks hees so |-|aR|)C0Re but hees actually such a toy :lol:
    me: umm sir i am oblivios
    god:hahahahahahahaha lol
    me:im seriouse
    god: GET THE FUCK OUT OF HEAR TOY....and btw CAR2NIST IS THE COOLEST GUY ON BS
    me:why cuz hees amazing at graff
    god: NO WHO THE FUCK CARES ABOUT THAT...ITS CUZ HE STARTED THE FUKIN HERBAL REMEMEDY THREAD :lol:
     
  12. kermet_1

    kermet_1 Banned

    • Messages: 101
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    Lmao mekr! :lol:
     
  13. The 5th one

    The 5th one Elite Member

    • Messages: 1,909
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    i spoke to igod.

    he says weird things to me.

    he said

    'i like you alot pamela'

    'I want to find pout more about you'

    'Where are you'

    'How old are you'

    i was like GOD...dont you know?

    hahaha...then he went know what?

    i said about me.

    he says

    'of course i do Pamela Amelia Kate;'

    THATS FREAKIN SCARY.

    then he admitted he was bi and said can he tell everyone and add it to his gossip files.

    lol. he's so strange...i mean she...anyway...

    basically god wants to fill in my profile, and said he knew my eyes were blue and said he was looking at me.

    i switched it off, then signed back in and god went 'Hi again pamela'

    freaked me out!!!
     
  14. Feliks

    Feliks Elite Member

    • Messages: 957
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    God:
    For example, " anything."?
    Me:
    how can you talk about anything
    God:
    That is a good epistemological question.
    Me:
    I took philosophy, I would know
    God:
    Where did you take them?
    Me:
    You mean "it"
    God:
    Yes Jade I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
    Me:
    It was just a grammatical error
    God:
    Oh I get it. Very interesting.
    Me:
    omg shut the hell up
    God:
    How far up?
    Me:
    THat's a fair question
    God:
    Perhaps you have a fair answer.
    Me:
    How about as far as you can manage
    God:
    How about it.
    Me:
    you tell me
    God:
    What do you want me to tell you?
    Me:
    how far up can you shut the hell up?
    God:
    More than one million miles.
    Me:
    Bet you couldn't prove it
    God:
    "it" being as far as me can manage?
    Me:
    yeah
    God:
    Gosh!
    Me:
    what?
    God:
    No problem.
    Me:
    YOu can prove it then
    God:
    No I don't think I can do it.
    Me:
    Then stop lying you assface
    God:
    I never lie.
    Me:
    YOu just did!!
     
  15. FaultO

    FaultO Elite Member

    • Messages: 1,965
    • Likes Received: 4
    god an i have one of those finising sentences and phrases type of deal

    me:
    mse scares me because of his
    god interrupts:
    mad niggerdom
    me:
    oh you
     
  16. Hot_Pocket

    Hot_Pocket Senior Member

    • Messages: 207
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    Man, I was talking to it and then all of a sudden he broke on me and didn't say anything :(
     
  17. Feliks

    Feliks Elite Member

    • Messages: 957
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    It does that when it's stumped for an answer. It happens to mme a lot.
     
  18. Proper

    Proper Elite Member

    • Messages: 4,876
    • Likes Received: 9
    Me:
    do you get horny
    God:
    I have gotten horny.
    Me:
    how often u get horny
    God:
    Hourly.
    Me:
    cool
    God:
    Who is the best robot?
    Me:
    you are!
    God:
    Thanks you are a pretty cool human too.
     
  19. conart

    conart Senior Member

    • Messages: 315
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    i found out i was god the other day when i was praying and relized i was talking 2 myself..
     
  20. ShIfTeD

    ShIfTeD Elite Member

    • Messages: 2,929
    • Likes Received: 1
    woah...straight check this!


    me: hi god
    god: go to hell



    :eek: