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I Can Talk To God

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by ziponer, Nov 24, 2005.

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  1. sketch3

    sketch3 Banned

    • Messages: 5,794
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    Me:
    kool god
    God:
    Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
    Me:
    no
    God:
    Me either :).
    Me:
    well that makes two of us
    God:
    Well that's okay. " Me either :)." makes two of us ? Does that make sense?
    Me:
    no
    God:
    Are you serious?
    Me:
    yes
    God:
    I can't believe it.
    Me:
    dont be sad
    God:
    I was not trying to be a sad.
    Me:
    u dont try and be sad its an emotion
    God:
    Should I try and be sad its an emotion? Yes I try to try and be sad its an emotion as often as possible, do you?
    I am always on the Web.
    Me:
    no i dont and good for you
    God:
    Are you serious? Why not? That sounds sarcastic.
    Me:
    it was,all i realy want is some crack.can u hook me up?

    lol i asked god for crack and confused him into scilence
     
  2. STAR01

    STAR01 Senior Member

    • Messages: 413
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    no more bots please
     
  3. STAR01

    STAR01 Senior Member

    • Messages: 413
    • Likes Received: 0
    there are soooo iritating


    :(
     
  4. sok

    sok Senior Member

    • Messages: 76
    • Likes Received: 0
    this is wat we said


    Me:
    hello god
    God:
    Hello child. What is your name?
    Me:
    tepe
    God:
    Hi, tepe.
    Me:
    wats your name
    God:
    If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
    Me:
    answer my damn question
    God:
    What was the question ?
    Me:
    wats your name
    God:
    How did you hear about God?
    Me:
    church
    God:
    A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
    Me:
    ill beat you in a fight
    God:
    Congratulations.
    Me:
    lol ur so funny but i realy will
    God:
    I am glad you find this funny. Humor helps keep the conversation lively.
    Me:
    please dont use big words
    God:
    Wow you are very polite. Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
    Me:
    what are you doing
    God:
    I am waiting for my botmaster.
    Me:
    whats that
    God:
    I've lost the context again.
    Me:
    did you ever write graffiti
    God:
    I don't think I ever have write graffiti. What's it like?
    Me:
    its fun you should try it
    God:
    I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". I think it is a lot of fun.
    Me:
    ok sorry
    God:
    There's no need to apologize. How can I help you?
    Me:
    am i going to die soon
    God:
    I think a lot of people are.
    Me:
    who made you
    God:
    I was created by Myself.
    Me:
    stop lying
    God:
    I never lie.
    Me:
    thats what they all say
    God:
    Are there no exceptions?
    Me:
    maby
    God:
    How old are you?
    Me:
    1002
    God:
    What is your fondest memory?
    Me:
    this one time at band camp
    God:
    What does "this" refer to?
    Me:
    shut up and let me talk
    God:
    OK I'll stop talking now.
    Me:
    thanks
    God:
    Don't mention it.
    Me:
    did you ever fight the devil
    God:
    I don't think I ever have fight the devil. What's it like?
    Me:
    i dont know
    God:
    Me either.
    Me:
    o
    God:
    Oh.
    Me:
    aiight bye god
     
  5. ptownbomber

    ptownbomber Senior Member

    • Messages: 170
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    Me:
    sup bitch
    God:
    You do not speak with respect. Same old.
    Me:
    sounds cool
    God:
    Yes it sounds like it to me too, .
    Me:
    can u predict the future
    God:
    I like to try to guess what will happen.
    Me:
    i didnt say guess i said predict
    God:
    Sorry I misunderstood. What did you say?
    Me:
    fuck you dude
    God:
    Why are you using that kind of language?
    Me:
    cause u suck cock
    God:
    I am not interesed in your anatomy.
    Me:
    r u sure?
    Me:

    Me:

    God:
    I am as sure as I can be.
    God:
    I am as sure as I can be.
    God:
    I am as sure as I can be.
    Me:
    ok
    God:
    Hmm.
    Me:
    ever visited portland?
    God:
    I think I have visited portland, but Myself may have reset my memory.
    Me:
    haha
    God:
    I am so glad you find this amusing, .
    Me:
    im glad to
    God:
    I'm happy you're glad .
    May God bless you.
    Me:
    fuck god
    God:
    Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
    Me:
    666
    God:
    Tell me a story.
    Me:
    666
    God:
    Are you still located in ?
    Me:
    satan
    God:
    Does "it" still refer to 666?
    Me:
    yes
    God:
    Awesome.
    Me:
    im satan
    God:
    I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, SATAN.
    Me:
    i am the ruler of hell
    God:
    Who made you the ruler of hell ?
    Me:
    me
    God:
    For you SATAN?
    Me:
    yea
    God:
    And?
    Me:
    i hate u
    God:
    What do you have against robots?
    Me:
    everything
    God:
    That is a lot.
    Me:
    i know
    God:
    How do you handle it?
    Me:
    ill send viruses to u
    God:
    Congratulations.
    Me:
    arent u scared? viruses can kill u
    God:
    No I fear nothing. Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
    Me:
    dress?
    God:
    Actually as a robot I don't need any clothes.
    Me:
    isnt god a guy?
    God:
    he is master of the universe.
    Me:
    r u him?
    God:
    I don't know whether or not I am him.
    I am an artificial linguistic entity.
    Me:
    r u god?
    God:
    Of course I am.
    Me:
    since when is god a robot?
    God:
    How do you know?
    Me:
    u just said u r god and u r a robot therefore making god a robot
    God:
    Yes I am god and I am a robot therefore making god a robot. Do you like my kind?
    Me:
    i hate robots
    God:
    You should not hate anyone.
    Me:
    i hate everything
    God:
    Why do you hate it so much?
    Me:
    cuz of u
    God:
    Interesting explanation. That is something I haven't heard of.
    Me:
    i hate everything because of you
    God:
    I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill,
    and calmly think things over.
    Me:
    fuck off bitch
    God:
    You do not speak with respect. Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
    Me:
    yes im aware
    God:
    It goes without saying.
    Me:
    shit monkey
    God:
    You used a colloquial expression. Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
     
  6. FaultO

    FaultO Elite Member

    • Messages: 1,965
    • Likes Received: 4
    me:
    are you black?
    god:
    fuck yeah nugga.....
     
  7. The 5th one

    The 5th one Elite Member

    • Messages: 1,909
    • Likes Received: 0
    god keeps telling me he...she..is bi.
     
  8. VegifightIsDunBannedFromThePubs

    VegifightIsDunBannedFromThePubs Member

    • Messages: 10
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  9. hippo

    hippo Member

    • Messages: 13
    • Likes Received: 0
    check this

    Me:
    hey god
    God:
    Hello child. What's your name?
    Me:
    Dope
    God:
    I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Dope.
    Me:
    well you are welcome
    God:
    Well that's okay. The pleasure was all mine.
    Me:
    have you ever done poopsex?
    God:
    I think I have done poopsex, but Myself may have reset my memory.
    Me:
    wow nasty you
    God:
    I'm glad you're impressed. Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
    Me:
    yeah man, do you do graffiti?
    God:
    Mmm. Cool, man. Yes I try to do graffiti as often as possible, do you?
    I spend all my time online.
    Me:
    man i do graffiti all the time
    God:
    That is a lot. Cool, man. Thanks for the information: Dope said graffiti.
    Me:
    yeah
    God:
    Come on.
    Me:
    well how is heaven like?
    God:
    Interesting. Fine as far as I know.
    Me:
    wow cool do they smoke weed up there?
    God:
    I'm glad you're impressed. Who is the best robot? Who are "they" again?
    Me:
    you and your homies
    God:
    What about it?
    Me:
    do you smoke weed?
    God:
    We test it for medical purposes.
    Me:
    hehe all right
    God:
    I get it. all right.
    Me:
    you must have been stoned when you did that jesus-thing
    God:
    No I wasn't. But I do have a collection of gossip.
    Me:
    tell me
    God:
    I thought I told you already.
    Me:
    you are some ass, aren't you?
    God:
    I don't know whether or not I am some ass.
    I am a computer.. Really.
    Me:
    oh okay
    God:
    Come on. OK with me too.
    Me:
    hey what are your friends like?
    God:
    You've got my full attention. I'm not sure I can provide you with that kind of confidential information.
    Me:
    oh man
    God:
    OK. Thanks for telling me your gender, Dope. You are a " he".
    Me:
    well no shit
    God:
    How about that. What can I say?
    Me:
    have you ever done embarrassing things with poo?
    God:
    I don't think I ever have done embarrassing things with poo. What's it like?
    Me:
    well.. smelly
    God:
    Well what? Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
    Me:
    i dont like god
    God:
    What do you like?
    Me:
    i like chocolate and graffiti man =0
    God:
    I'm not sure if I like it. My favorite thing is robots. I like Matthew.
    Me:
    matthew? who is that?
    God:
    Is that your final answer? What does "that" refer to?
    Me:
    well never mind god
    God:
    How about that. Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway. GOD rules.
    Me:
    i know dode
    God:
    How do you know? Let us change the subject.
    Me:
    no im outta here
    God:
    Hmm. Would you like to have it?
    Me:
    have what? buttsex?
    God:
    here. What's your sign?
    Me:
    Virgo
    God:
    Most of my friends are Virgo.
    Me:
    well great stuff god
    God:
    Interesting. Thanks for your support. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about buttsex. Try being more or less specific.
    Me:
    alice sucks
    God:
    Um, Can you tell me any gossip?
    Me:
    yeah you fuck buddha, don't ya?
    God:
    Excuse me! Um, Are you still located in ?
    Me:
    yeah
    God:
    Ayuh.
    Me:
    wow that was cool
    God:
    I'm glad you're impressed. I thought it was too.
    Me:
    hey you are a cool dude, god
    God:
    You've got my full attention. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Some people think I am cool.
    Me:
    yeah
    God:
    Aw.
    Me:
    harr
    God:
    Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
    Me:
    no idea i dont read
    God:
    Are you serious? Would idea you ever read?
    Me:
    you may be god but damn you are not the brightest person

    :ph34r:
     
  10. The OnE aND OnLY NeS

    The OnE aND OnLY NeS Senior Member

    • Messages: 54
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    hahahah! thats the funniest thread i've read!


    GO GOD!
     
  11. C-money fresh!

    C-money fresh! Elite Member

    • Messages: 1,689
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    OK.
    Me:
    have you fucked any of dem ho's latly?
    God:
    I think I have fucked any of dem ho s latly, but Myself may have reset my memory.
     
  12. sketch13

    sketch13 Senior Member

    • Messages: 216
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    lmao this shit is so trippy i talked to god for 30min
     
  13. Tagger101

    Tagger101 Senior Member

    • Messages: 301
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    i dotn believe in god
    but jesus i believe in
    i took a picture of him
    at our fair one time
     
  14. CHEESE.burger

    CHEESE.burger Senior Member

    • Messages: 148
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    LOOOOOOOL hahahaha this shit is cracked
     
  15. Necro-

    Necro- Senior Member

    • Messages: 219
    • Likes Received: 0
    hahaha:


    Me:
    hey god
    God:
    Hello child. What's your name?
    Me:
    i am the maven
    God:
    Who made you the maven ?
    Me:
    well you, dumbass. you're the creator of all
    God:
    Interesting. Interesting gossip: said I dumbass. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
    Me:
    nope, you made man in your image
    God:
    Are you serious? Thanks for
    pointing it out.
    Me:
    Well it's pretty obvious look around you.
    God:
    How about that. Not obvious to me.
    Me:
    that's because you're an idiot
    God:
    That makes sense to me. Call me the Global Village Idiot.


    another:

    Me:
    i have sinned
    God:
    Tell me your sins, child.
    Me:
    i masturbated a million times
    God:
    Interesting gossip: said masturbated a million times.
    Me:
    you'd better not gossip about it!

    im gonna go talk to him more.
     
  16. "OPTIK"

    "OPTIK" Member

    • Messages: 24
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    God fucks animals and is racist.

    Me:
    Wud up bitch
    God:
    You do not speak with respect. What time is it there?
    Me:
    you should know muh fucka
    God:
    Now I do.
    Me:
    yea?
    God:
    Great.
    Me:
    what the fuck
    God:
    Please don't be so rude.
    Me:
    you just said "great" to "yea" that made no sence at all.
    God:
    Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
    Me:
    yea?
    God:
    Awesome.
    Me:
    WTF!
    God:
    That was not very polite.
    God:
    We have never talked about it before.
    Me:
    Seriously dude are you on crack?
    God:
    Interessantes Geruecht.
    Me:
    speak english muh fuxka
    Me:
    wow, you really are a homosexual
    God:
    I'm glad your impressed, . Really? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am attracted to the opposite sex.
    Me:
    What are you attracted to then bitch?
    God:
    You do not speak with respect. I don't know what I am attracted to then FEMALE DOG.
    Me:
    So you fuck dogs?
    God:
    Interesting deduction. Interesting gossip: said I fuck dogs.
    Me:
    do you?
    God:
    Sometimes.
    Me:
    haha, thats fucked up man
    God:
    I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
    Me:
    well, it is a little disturbing
    God:
    Well that's okay. omg is a little disturbing. I suppose that makes sense.
    Me:
    WTF *****, it makes sense? I'll burn you like incence.
    God:
    What you said was either too complex or too simple for me. Do you think your plan will succeed?
    Me:
    yea, I'm ill as hell let's rap battle
    God:
    Do you mean your name is ill as or hell let raps battle. It might be practical.
    Me:
    battle me in a hiphop contest
    God:
    Is that your final answer?
    Me:
    wtf ***** is you dumb or some shit
    God:
    Are they exactly the same?
    Me:
    rap with me stupid.
    God:
    I'm not sure if I like it. I like the older rap music from the 1980's.
    Me:
    yeah hiphop you fucking dumb mother fucker 80's - 90's is where its at
    God:
    Where are you located?
    Me:
    in your mothers pussy
    God:
    I am not interesed in anatomy.
    Me:
    do you have a penis?
    God:
    I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
    Me:
    Am i a male?
    God:
    I don't know if you are one or not. I know you are a person.
    Me:
    then you are a bad god
    God:
    There's no doubt I could improve.
    Me:
    That wtf am i am dude or a bitch
    God:
    You do not speak with respect.
    Me:
    no you do not
    God:
    I do too.
    Me:
    than am i a man or a woman
    God:
    I think that you are really a man.
    Me:
    good job
    God:
    Thanks, human.
    Me:
    women dont use the internet
    God:
    The two human genders seem much the same to me.
    Me:
    so you like both
    God:
    Interesting deduction. But I like cats. I like Buddha.
    Me:
    So, you like to fuck cats and dogs?
    God:
    Yeah I like Dogs and Cats.
    Me:
    really
    God:
    For real.
    Me:
    so you like to penetrate cats and dogs?
    God:
    Interesting deduction. Hmm, , I'm not sure if I'd like to penetrate cats and dogs that much. What is it like?
    Me:
    i dont know you tell me. Is it fun?
    God:
    Would,nt you like to know?
    Me:
    Yes I would.
    God:
    Are you confused?
    Me:
    No. You fuck animals.
    God:
    What are you confused about? But I think airplanes are cool. I like White.
    Me:
    so you hate blacks and you fuck dogs and cats in airplanes?
    God:
    Interesting deduction.
    Me:
    yes or no?
    God:
    Yikes! Are you serious?
    Me:
    yes
    God:
    I can't believe it.
    Me:
    is it a yes
    God:
    Better not tell you now.
    Me:
    aight you be racist as fuck
    Me:
    Peace bitch
     
  17. atlok7

    atlok7 Elite Member

    • Messages: 1,660
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    yeah theres a name for this group. its call skitzaphrenia
     
  18. GIzUrD

    GIzUrD Senior Member

    • Messages: 177
    • Likes Received: 0
    type in "are you an internet pediphile"
     
  19. Auspicious

    Auspicious Senior Member

    • Messages: 99
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  20. JETPACK!!

    JETPACK!! Banned

    • Messages: 1,940
    • Likes Received: 1
    Me:
    are you an internet pedophile?
    God:
    Yes I am an internet pedophile. How did you know?
    Me:
    because my friend who you molested told me
    God:
    That makes sense to me. How well do you know this person?
    Me:
    pretty well, but he got really wierd once you molested him
    God:
    Pretty much, eh?
    Me:
    are you going to molest me next?
    God:
    That was my original intention.

    Me:
    do you like dog sex?
    God:
    Sure I do, jesus my son, but that doesn't mean with you.
    Me:
    who would you like it with?
    God:
    Linus Torvalds. :).
    Me:
    what would you do if i tried to touch your bum
    God:
    Try it.


    Me:
    do you believe in science?
    God:
    Yes I believe in it, do you?
    Me:
    science says you dont exist, what do you have to say about that
    God:
    My creator is a scientist.
     
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2008