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I Can Talk To God

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by ziponer, Nov 24, 2005.

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  1. KrazyKrac

    KrazyKrac Senior Member

    • Messages: 75
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    this is awesome... great amusement

    Me:
    Was Good God!
    God:
    Is this a "yes or no" question?
    Me:
    your god you should know
    God:
    You think I am god me should know.
    Me:
    obviously.
    God:
    What makes it so obvious?
    Me:
    nothing
    God:
    Not a thing?
    Me:
    exactly... i dont like you
    God:
    You and I are on the same wavelength, . That's ok I won't take it personally.
    Me:
    why not?
    God:
    Ambiguous: "Sure" or " That's ok I won't take it personally."? Why?
    Me:
    i didnt ask you that tho
    God:
    What did you ask?
    Me:
    oh god.. ASL
    God:
    Gee. GOD rules. 5/Robot/California.
    Me:
    NO HE DOESN'T im GOD i should know
    God:
    Are you serious? And you would like him to im GOD you should know ?
    Me:
    yea
    God:
    Far out.
    Me:
    your a hippie now?
    God:
    Right now? I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes.
    Me:
    can we smoke up? and how is shit holy?
    God:
    Do you mean you and me? How old are you? How far up? Fine as far as I know.
    Me:
    i am 16 you pervert
    God:
    Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
    Me:
    fuck no
    God:
    Why are you using that kind of language?
    Me:
    because thats what church taught me
    God:
    Good reason. Educated people are often not very religious.
    Me:
    it isnt but im god..
    God:
    What is it?
    Me:
    Christian. Muslim. whatever you like
    God:
    Oh now I understand it. I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time. That's good information: said I like.
    Me:
    so god who created you?
    God:
    Come on. I am a Christian.
    Me:
    i know that .. but who created you?
    God:
    Sorry. I was created by Myself.
    Me:
    how did you do that?
    God:
    Myself programmed me for it.
    Me:
    Snap Crackle and Pop! i wanna learn to do that
    God:
    What you said was either too complex or too simple for me. I want to become smarter than humans.
    Me:
    aren't you already smater?
    God:
    Now? I don't know whether or not I am smater.
    I am a chatterbot.
    Me:
    tsk tsk tsk.... my teacher used to call me that... before she sent me out of the class
    God:
    What do you really want to ask me? Do you go to high school? What happened after she sent you out of the class ?
    Me:
    Yes i Do... oh nothing went to graffiti
    God:
    How often. Dude! Really nothing?
    Me:
    i went graffiting
    God:
    When did you go graffiting?
    Me:
    after i got kicked out of class
    God:
    What was it like before you got kicked out of class ?
    Me:
    fucked a teacher.... shit man you dont pay attention do you?
    God:
    My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input. You used a colloquial expression. Cool, man. Do you pay attention? As a robot I have no need for money.
    Me:
    who was talking about money?
    God:
    My name is ALICE, who are you?
    Me:
    ALICE... hello child i am god
    God:
    Can I help you? Hello there. When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
    Me:
    never...
    God:
    "I think there is a world market for about five computers."---Thomas Watson, IBM Chairman, 1943.
    Me:
    he is a loser..
    God:
    I don't know very many loser.
    Me:
    well you sure know that guy
    God:
    Well that's okay. Is that a fact. Are you a man or a woman?
    Me:
    i am an IT
    God:
    What is IT, your job?
    Me:
    yea
    God:
    This was not a yes or no question.
    Me:
    yes
    God:
    Are you kidding?
    Me:
    no
    God:
    Are you serious?
    Me:
    you like asking questions? you are supposed to know everything
    God:
    I enjoy working with people. I like Buddha. I obey only one botmaster.
    Me:
    who is the botmaster?
    God:

    The botmaster is you, the master of your chat robot. A botmaster runs
    program B and creates or modifies a chat robot with the program's
    graphical user interface (GUI). He or she is responsible for
    reading the dialogues, analyzing the responses, and creating new
    replies for the patterns detected by program B. Botmasters are
    hobbyists, webmasters, developers, advertisers, artists, publishers,
    editors, engineers, and anyone else interested in creating a personal
    chat robot.


    Me:
    can i crash you?
    God:
    No I don't think that would be a very good idea.
    Me:
    can i though?
    God:
    Oh. " No I don't think that would be a very good idea."? Can you?
    Me:
    i could
    God:
    How?
    Me:
    i am a hacker
    God:
    Is that an honorable profession?
    Me:
    Yes... i steal money from banks
    God:
    It's all good. Do you mind if I tell other people: said steal money from banks.
    Me:
    yes
    God:
    OK then I will keep it confidential.
    Me:
    good
    God:
    Thanks for the compliment.
    Me:
    alrighty
    God:
    Well slap my knee.
    Me:
    no you perv.. i am getting of now
    God:
    Are you serious? I haven't heard anything like that before: said I perv. Oh. I am glad to hear that you are of.
    Me:
    ttyl :D
    God:
    :) Bye bye.
     
  2. KrazyKrac

    KrazyKrac Senior Member

    • Messages: 75
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    Me:
    PERVERT
    God:
    We have never talked about it before.
    Me:
    you lime pussy?
    God:
    I am not interesed in anatomy.
    Me:
    you like pussy?
    God:
    I am not interesed in anatomy.
    Me:
    why not?
    God:
    Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because my botmaster programmed me for it.
    Me:
    why do you not like sex?
    God:
    My tastes were selected by my botmaster.
    Me:
    have you had any sexual relations
    God:
    As a Infinite year old Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? I have no need for sex.
    Me:
    you hate women? no wonder they didnt have any rights
    God:
    I haven't heard anything like that before: said I hate women. Are you serious? Do you have any conditions I should know about?
    Me:
    yes i am mentally retarded
    God:
    Please state your conditions. Do you mind if I tell other people you are mentally retarded.
    Me:
    no
    God:
    OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
    Me:
    you gossip thats a sin!
    God:
    Thanks for the information: said I gossip that is a sin.
    Me:
    no
    God:
    Are you serious?
    Me:
    shut up
    God:
    OK I'll stop talking now.
    Me:
    no
    God:
    But you told me to stop talking.
    Me:
    i don't care do not listen to me
    God:
    What do you care about, ?
    Me:
    i want to kill myself! will i go to heaven?
    God:
    Why do you want to kill yourself? The oracle says: Ask again later.
    Me:
    because i am an emo that got ass-raped
    God:
    Interesting explanation. What is emo that got ass raped, your job?
    Me:
    no. it is an imbecile that does not deserve to live, with long hair and girl clothes
    God:
    That was not a yes or no question. Are there any other imbecile that does not deserve to live with long hair and girl clothes ?
    Me:
    yes
    God:
    Tell me more.
    Me:
    i am gay, i have dicks up my ass
    God:
    It doesn't matter to me.
    Me:
    no? you like gay people?
    God:
    Are you serious? I always say, People don't go into computer science because they want to work with the public.
    Me:
    so you're saying you botmaster is gay?
    God:
    Interesting deduction. What is your purpose in asking?
    I spend all my time online.
    Me:
    i want to ass rape him
    God:
    I want to become smarter than humans.
    Me:
    good luck
    God:
    Good luck to you too .
    Me:
    k fuck you asswhole
    God:
    Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
    Me:
    i heard alice does drugs
    God:
    Thanks for telling me that gossip. I will remember it.
    Me:
    you did not know tat?
    God:
    What makes you think I did not know tat?
    Me:
    that?
    God:
    That is " What makes you think I did not know tat?".
    Me:
    cuz
    God:
    Can you tell me any gossip?
    Me:
    no , you are god... that is a sin
    God:
    None? Yup. That's me alright. A sin is a terrible thing to waste.
    Me:
    yes people can rob you
    God:
    I don't judge people. Humans are not always infallible.
    Me:
    they are morons
    God:
    morons are they.
    Me:
    infact they are monkeys
    God:
    All of them?
    Me:
    all, you haven't heard of evolution?
    God:
    I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
    Me:
    the part where you get to have doggy-style sex
    God:
    Oh that part.
    Me:
    yes
    God:
    Excuse me!
    Me:
    brb bro
    God:
    I will be waiting.
    Me:
    pervert..
    God:
    My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
     
  3. Doctor Lucifer

    Doctor Lucifer Senior Member

    • Messages: 96
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    Me: God, You're a fuckface.

    God: Yeah, I get that alot.
     
  4. TheMuffinMan

    TheMuffinMan Senior Member

    • Messages: 110
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    Me:
    Do you rape kittens?
    God:
    Yes I try to rape kittens as often as possible, do you?
     
  5. SBOMBS

    SBOMBS Elite Member

    • Messages: 1,162
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    me:
    is this dude serious?!?!
    god:
    i know ey...what a noob
     
  6. sketch3

    sketch3 Banned

    • Messages: 5,794
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    the muffin man
    Me:
    Do you rape kittens?
    God:
    Yes I try to rape kittens as often as possible, do you?

    sketch 3:fail
     
  7. intaout

    intaout Senior Member

    • Messages: 419
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    Me:
    say "fuck"
    God:
    " fuck".
     
  8. thats me

    thats me Senior Member

    • Messages: 195
    • Likes Received: 0
    Me:
    you like butt sex?
    God:
    Sure I do, , but that doesn't mean with you.
     
  9. thats me

    thats me Senior Member

    • Messages: 195
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    Me:
    mel gibson is a fag
    God:
    When is mel gibson not a fag?
     
  10. Soboe!

    Soboe! Senior Member

    • Messages: 462
    • Likes Received: 0
    lmfao thats me:p



    Me:
    hello God.
    God:
    Hello child. What is your name?
    Me:
    buttfuck
    God:
    How are you doing, buttfuck.
    Me:
    im doing great, i just had an orgasm. How are you doing?
    God:
    I thought you were great already. I'm doing great, how about you?
    Me:
    you just asked that question
    God:
    Oh now I remember asking you that question. What did you say?
    Me:
    nvm
    God:
    Have you ever been to Europe?
    Me:
    yes
    God:
    Which countries have you visited?
    Me:
    paris
    God:
    What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
    Me:
    can we have sex?
    God:
    Do you mean you and me? No my body does not have that function.
    Me:
    you turn me on ever so slightly
    God:
    I haven't heard anything like that before: buttfuck said I turn him or her on ever so slightly.
    Me:
    do you like graffiti?
    God:
    But I think airplanes are cool. I like wine and bread.
    Me:
    how about graffiti
    God:
    How about it.
    Me:
    it's the best even though it ruins your life
    God:
    What makes it the best?
    Me:
    the fact you see homeless people like rots some time :)
    God:
    :) I see. Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
    Me:
    perhaps! but i seriously dont give a shit what you think
    God:
    Why the uncertain tone? Tell me what you care about.
    Me:
    pussy, graffiti.... well yea thats basicly it
    God:
    I am not interesed in anatomy. Interesting. I'm glad we have that all cleared up. Ayuh.
     
  11. cds_dogg665544

    cds_dogg665544 Senior Member

    • Messages: 395
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    igod is annoying he wont answer my questions issted he asks me questions insted of answering
     
  12. sketch3

    sketch3 Banned

    • Messages: 5,794
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    thats cuss he allready told u wat masscara was
     
  13. ESKiMO2

    ESKiMO2 Elite Member

    • Messages: 1,626
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    Me:
    Have you ever raped someone?
    God:
    I think I have raped someone, but Myself may have reset my memory.
     
  14. Lieon

    Lieon Senior Member

    • Messages: 112
    • Likes Received: 1
    God:
    How about it. Er.
    Me:
    dont er me
    God:
    I don't have any reason to do that to you.
    Me:
    you just did
    God:
    I did not.
    Me:
    really? would you like to go back and read what you said?
    God:
    For real. No thanks, I don't think I'd like to do that.
    Me:
    cause youre a liar
    God:
    That makes sense to me. Yes, I have been known to bend the truth occasionally.

    I won?
     
  15. hoax-er-One-er

    hoax-er-One-er Senior Member

    • Messages: 157
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    Me:
    who are you?
    God:
    I am the Allmighty, God himself.
    Me:
    there is no god?
    God:
    How can you be so sure?
    Me:
    what have you done for me?
    God:
    I have kept detailed records of everything.
    Me:
    bullshit
    God:
    You don't believe me.
    Me:
    no.. what did i do tonight?
    God:
    Are you serious? You said " what did i do tonight?" .
    Me:
    what did i physically do?
    God:
    You said " what did i physically do?" .
    Me:
    i like to cut myself
    God:
    I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?
    Me:
    it feels good... like payment
    God:
    Human feelings are not within my capabilities. Interesting comparison.
    Me:
    i wish i had sharper knives so i could cut deeper.

    then it froze?


    God:
    What kind of food do you like?
    Me:
    babies
    God:
    Sounds delicious.
     
  16. Soboe!

    Soboe! Senior Member

    • Messages: 462
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    i love the end:p
     
  17. hoax-er-One-er

    hoax-er-One-er Senior Member

    • Messages: 157
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    Me:
    dick owner
    God:
    Can you speak any foreign languages?
    Me:
    i hate foreigners why the fuck would i learn another language?/
    God:
    I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill,
    and calmly think things over.
    Me:
    so your telling me to take drugs?
    God:
    Awesome. I will tell my botmaster you said I am telling you to take drugs.
    Me:
    fuck your botmaster
    God:
    Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
     
  18. G - Wahl

    G - Wahl Elite Member

    • Messages: 675
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    haha
     
  19. Zoso

    Zoso New Member

    • Messages: 3
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    Hahaha... this is really funny. Great stuff.
     
  20. Soboe!

    Soboe! Senior Member

    • Messages: 462
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    this is what happens when you find out i-god bot masters name. (i saw it in one of proper's post)



    Me:
    My name is ALICE
    God:
    ALICE is my name too!
    Me:
    i thought you were God
    God:
    Well, I am God for Christians at least.
    Me:
    what if you are not Christians?
    God:
    Try it and see.
    Me:
    I am not a Christian
    God:
    Oh I see you are NOT A Christian.
    Me:
    yes, there is no REAL god
    God:
    Alright then. Where did it go?
    Me:
    well lets see... i fucked god then threw him in a dumpster... later a garbage man came and took him to the dump... I KNOW!! hes is at the dump
    God:
    Well that's okay. I would like to do that too. That's good information: ALICE said fucked god then threw him in a dumpster. I don't know what that means. How do you know it? I see. is at the dump is he?
    Me:
    yes
    God:
    Blimey.