why did hitler commit suicide? he got the gas bill why are asprins white? cus they work whats the difference between a snow tire and a nigger? a snow tire doesnt sing when you put chains on it why do niggers stink? so blind people can hate them too why dont niggers play in sand boxes? cats keep covering them up what do you call 10 niggers on the moon? a problem what do you call 100 niggers on the moon? a big problem what do you call ALL the niggers on the moon? problem solved whats the difference between a bucket of shit and a nigger? the bucket
god damn, you're so racist but whats worse than a bunch of egyptians building a bridge across the desert? a nigger fishin off it.
lol so? i live in new orleans man its like a nigger fest over here.......they always steal shit from you so i paint their house then piss on it.........i hate them....sorry its only the ones who steal my shit and do drugs and try to be all gangster i have black friends but there not all gangster and shit there the cool mello people that wont try and fight you cus ur white.......thats when u whip out the brass knuckles h34r:
RACISM IS BAD. Why do jews have such big noses ? Because air is free. What do you call an invisible paki ? a fart What do you can a paki with a wooden leg ? shit on a stick 2 wooden legs ? a shitsicle What are all black people so fast ? cuz the slow ones are in jail What do you call a bunch of black people running over a hill ? a jail break How do you keep a black person from drowning ? Take your foot off his head What do you call Mike Tyson is he had no arms ? A Nigger RASICM IS BAD.
what do you call a deer with no eyes? I have no eyedeer! what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs I STILL have no eyedeer... i dunno :\
lmao, wtf, it was funny cus it was stupid and made no sense well atleast the 2nd one did 1st one was good
50th Anniversary A husband and wife are celebrating their 50th anniversary. That night the wife approaches her husband wearing the exact same sexy little negligee she wore on their wedding night. She looks at her husband and says, "Honey, Do you remember this?" He looks up at her and says, "Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married." She says, "Yes, that's right. Do you remember what you said to me that night." He nods and says, "Yes dear, I still remember." "Well, what was it?" she asks. He responds, "Well honey, as I remember, I said, "Ohhhhhhhhh Baby, I'm going to suck the life out of those big tits and screw your brains out." She giggles and says, "Yes honey, that's it. That's exactly what you said. So, now it's 50 years later, I'm in the same negligee I wore that night. What do you have to say tonight?" Again he looks up at her and looks her up and down and replies, " Mission Accomplished." You Must Be a Dentist A guy and a girl met at a bar. They started getting along really well they decide to go to the girl's place for a drink. A few drinks later, the guy took off his shirt and washed his hands. He then took off his socks and washed his hands. The girl looked at him and says: 'You must be a dentist!' Flabbergasted, the guy responded 'Yes, that's amazing how did you figure that out ?' The girl said: 'Easy .... you keep washing your hands' One thing led to another, they migrated to the bed and things became more passionate. After they were done, the girl said: 'You must be a GREAT dentist!' The guy was very very surprised, and said 'Yes, I sure am a great dentist ... How did you figure that out??' The girl said: 'Easy ... I didn't feel a thing' 3 Door Choice A rather bad man dies and meets Satan in a room with three doors. Satan explains, "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that you have to spend eternity behind one of these doors. But, the good news is that you can take a peek behind each and take your choice." So, the man opened the first door and saw a room full of people, standing on their heads on a concrete floor. Not very nice, he thought. Opening the second door, he saw a room full of people standing on their heads on a wooden floor. Better, he thought, but best to check the last door. Upon opening the last door, he saw a room full of people, standing waist-deep in excrement and sipping coffee. "Of the three, this one looks best," he said and waded in to get something to drink while Satan closed the door. A few minutes later the door opened, Satan stuck his head in and said, "Ok, coffee break`s over, back on your heads!" At The Pearly Gates Three truck drivers die and meet St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St.Peter asks the first truck driver, "Did you ever break the law?" The truck driver responds, "Sure." St. Peter then asks him, "Did you ever exceed the speed limit?" The driver responds, "All the time." Then St. Peter asks him, "Did you ever cheat on your wife?" The truck driver heartily responded, "Every chance I got." St. Peter then told the first truck driver to select door number 3 of the three available doors. Then St. Peter asks the second truck driver, "Did you ever break the law?" The truck driver responds, "Sometimes." "Did you ever exceed the speed limit?" "Every now and then." "Did you ever cheat on your wife?" "A couple of times." St. Peter told truck driver number 2 to also enter door number 3. St. Peter now asks truck driver number 3 the same questions. "Did you ever break the law?" The truck driver says, "No." He then asks, "Did you ever exceed the speed limit?" Again the driver responds, "No". St. Peter then asks, "Did you ever cheat on your wife?" The truck driver thought a couple of seconds and said, "Well, once. You see, I was in this bar in Nebraska. I noticed they only had one woman in it for all of the men. I asked the bartender why this was and he said, 'Well, she's all we need. She can suck a golf ball through a garden hose.' so that's when I cheated on my wife." St. Peter then told the truck driver to enter door number 1. The truck driver, in amazement, asks, "What?? You sent the others to door number 3??" St. Peter calmly replies, "Yes, they're going to hell. But we're off to Nebraska!" Walk on Water At an interfaith retreat some time ago, the organizers decided to allow for a free afternoon of just socializing. A priest, minister, and a rabbi went fishing together. After awhile, the priest said, "Brother, Rabbi, would you please both excuse me, I've got to pee." He laid down his fishing pole, stepped over the side of the boat, and walked across the water to the shore. He finished his business, then walked back across the water to the boat. The minister said, "Father, I didn't want to be the first to have to go," stood up, stepped over the side of the boat,and walked right on top of the water to the shore. He also finished his business, zipped up, and walked back on the water right back to the boat. The rabbi was awestruck. Imagine -- WALKING on water! He thought to himself, "well, if they can do this, so can I!" He excused himself to the priest and minister, put his pole down, stepped over the side of the boat . . . and sunk like a rock. The priest turned to the minister and said, "You think we should have told him where the rocks were?" Nuns on Holiday Two British nuns, Sister Carol and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in a car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly, a diminutive vampire jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses at them through the windshield. "Quick, quick!!" shouts Sister Carol. "What shall I do?" "Turn the windshield wipers on; that will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Helen. Sister Carol switches them on, which knocks the vampire about, but he clings on and hisses again at the nuns. "What shall I do now?" she shouts. "Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water in the Vatican," says Sister Helen. The vampire steams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and hisses again. "Now what?" shouts Sister Carol. "Show him your cross," says Sister Helen. Sister Carol opens the window and shouts: "GET OFF MY F***ING CAR!!" The Pope's Choice The pope had become very ill and was taken to many doctors, all of whom could not figure out how to cure him. Finally he was brought to an old physician, who stated that he could figure it out. After about an hour's examination he came out and told the cardinals that he knew what was wrong. He said that the bad news was that it was a rare disorder of the testicles. He said that the goods news was that all the pope had to do to be cured was to have sex. Well, this was not good news to the cardinals, who argued about it at length. Finally they went to the pope with the doctor and explained the situation. After some thought, the pope stated, "I agree, but under four conditions." The cardinals were amazed and there arose quite an uproar. Over all of the noise there arose a single voice that asked, "And what are the four conditions?" The room stilled. There was a long pause... The pope replied, "First the girl must be blind, so that she cannot see with whom she is having sex." "Second, she must be deaf, so that she cannot hear with whom she is having sex." "And third she must be dumb so that if somehow she figures out with who she is having sex, she can tell no one." After another long pause a voice arose and asked, "And the fourth condition?" The pope smiled and replied, "Big tits." Getting into Shape An obviously overweight young man decided to sign up for a weight loss program complete with a personal trainer. It included a run each morning at 6:00 a.m. So when the door bell rings the next morning, he's dressed and ready to go. When he opens the door he sees the most beautiful blonde he has ever seen. She's tall, very well endowed above a very slim waist with long graceful legs. She's dressed in a small pair of running shorts and a running halter that can barely contain her. She smiles and says, "If you can catch me, you can have me." and starts off at a very fast run. This continues each morning. After about three very frustrating weeks the young man begins to get in shape and can almost keep up with her. One morning he's barely able to touch her running shorts but can't hang on. But he thinks tomorrow will be the big day. I'll catch her and have her. He barely sleeps that night waiting in eager anticipation. The next morning, the bell rings precisely at 6:00 am. He runs to the door and throws it open. There stands a huge burley woman, at least six feet five inches in height and over 250 pounds. She's muscled up like a plow ox and has a large wart amid her facial hair. She smiles and says, "I'm your new trainer. If I can catch you, I can have you!"
What do you get when you cross a zebra with a penguin? A pretty god damn fucked up animal that's for sure.
So there's a pile up on the highways in which two trucks spilled their loads on two separate lanes, one spilled thousands of babies and the other spilled hundreds of bowling balls. The clean up crew need to clean up the lane that would be quickest to clear traffic. Which one should they clean up? Babies of Bowling Balls? The Babies cause they can use a pitchfork!
A guy walks in, late for class, putting his shirt on. The teacher asks, Where have you been? He sez, On top of Blueberry Hill. Okay have a seat A second guy walks in, putting his pants on. The Teach asks, where have you been? He sez, Under Blueberry hill. Okay have a seat A second guy walks in, putting his shoes on. The Teach asks, where have you been? He sez, Inside Blueberry hill. Okay have a seat Finally a blonde chick walks in. The teach sez, who are you? She sez, I'm Blueberry Hill. I'm new here. Hahaha, wat a knee-slapper.