Holy heck. Been a long time since I've been here.... and sadder yet to realize it's almost 3 years. Stills feels like yesterday to me. I came looking for this thread tonight, to get some ideas for a tattoo, and in turn I found myself crying far too much to think. I miss him. I do every day of my life. Not a day goes by that he's not in my thoughts, especially in My Heart. On the year mark (I guess almost 2 years ago now) I got the tattoo he had on his shoulder done on my left shoulder blade. He's my angel, constantly on my shoulder. He's my Higher Power. And he helps me get through. It doesn't matter how much anything hurts now days... I take it in stride. I could never imagine... hurting someone the way this has hurt me and the hundreds upon hundreds of other's it's affected. His tears touched the spot where the tattoo is... as did his kisses. And his arms. And every bit of him that's in me, radiates from my tattoo. It's small, and I'm asked CONSTANTLY the significances; and at first, I could never answer. But now, my tiny tattoo, brings me the most... emotion of any of my tattoos. I still find myself getting out of the shower and catching a glimpse of it... and yeah. I still cry. Not every day anymore, but enough that it still kills me everytime I have to remember. He was such an incredible Man. And as I've said before and as Ms Fyt has, he was lover... in love with true love... but I guess.... the fight was just to hard. And yeah, it's taken me a few years, but I've... Come to grips with it more now, I suppose. I can accept it... and I can understand to an extent. I always knew he was hurting... and I always knew he felt more than most and with more... intensity than most. And it's sad, knowing I can relate. All too well. Which is probably how and why I've been able to... accept it a bit more now. I really loved him. He was one of my best friends, and sadly, for such a short time. But I don't take a single day that we were friends for granted. He taught me so much... If anything, he's the reason I can deal with my own depression and I've found healthy ways to deal with it now. He told me once the only thing he couldn't take about me, was... the fact that I hurt myself when I hurt... and it's been about 9 years and I've finally... stopped. And that's... because of him. The day i found out he died, I promised that I'd stop cutting... and leave the fucking nose candy alone (Another thing he told me to be smart about, and clearly, I didn't.) And it's taken me the past 2 and 1/2 years to finally be able to keep that promise to him, and fufill it. In an email once, he said whenever I was feeling depressed or unloved, or whatever, and I was thinking no one cared; To Remember He Did. And to this day... I keep that alive in my mind and in my heart and pray he stills feels the same. If it weren't for Justin and the impact he left on my life... I shudder to think of the person I'd be or how I'd have ended up. If I can claim ANYONE was responsible for Saving My Life, it was Justin.... I just wish I could have done the same... -Justin, You meant more to me than I ever got to tell you. And like you said, "You make me So Happy." Thank you. For your life. and your love. and your legacy. You may be gone but you'll never be forgotten. Just One Love <3
this thread still pisses me off and so do alot of the people in here for the way they talk about their friend (i know whos who) but Zewl is still my number 1 and forgetting isnt an issue here 1 LOVE BROTHER well be chilling at the train station soon like we used to
I Didnt know Zewl personally but i heard from others about him, im sorry for the loss everyone is going through, R.I.P Zewl - Never Forgotten Watching over us and still caring for us, thats how it is You will be in my Prayers...
R.I.P JUSTIN i was going to paint with you when you came here, but never got the chance... that makes me kind of sad.. you influenced me then if you knew it or not and you still do today this 40's for you! [Broken External Image]:http://img78.exs.cx/img78/6577/3221.jpg