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Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Msfyt, May 7, 2007.
^^gives me a great idea..
I mean just alot of people have neglected me in my life so I feel like it would atleast help them realize what they did. It just seems to me like suicide is ultimately what I want. I don't think it's weak, it takes alot of guts to actually do it. IDK, I just don't get any pleasure out of my life so it just feels pointless to be around if it's just gonna be painful.
they'll still forget about you
and it takes way more guts to continuing living instead of giving up
people neglect you, neglect them back. killing yourself to prove a point is such a cop out, whats the use in proving a point if your not around to see if you made your point or not? thats like going to a casino and putting up every cent you have then walking out before you find out if you win or lose.
life is what you make of it, you want things to turn around then turn them around.
tonight i was at a place with a shit fuck ton of old ass people. it made me angry, thinking about how clueless they are, with their bmw's and benz's... wearing a shit ton of makeup knowing they haven't had sex in mad years, knowing they'll never get to have sex again or they might shit all over their partner giving a reverse cowboy...it makes me so depressed to think that these people are living for the here and now type shit, while i'm working 3 jobs, trying to pay for school, can't even afford to put gas in my fucking car, thinking about my future and how i don't want a dead end job. in a sad way, these senile slow old lonely fucks are happier than i am. retired, money in the bank, don't have to do jack shit besides go to the local deli and read the paper, drink coffee, and shoot the shit with pillhead crackwhore waitresses who are only talking to these old fucks for tips. these cocksuckers are out there enjoying their lives, while i'm just building a void in mine, living hard, smoking weed every day to make life liveable. putting back beers to put more fun in my life. poppin zannys to forget that i have responsibilities. trying to find that balance seems so difficult. i just want to give up. i'm thinking about doing some crazy shit, like a quick come up, just so i don't have to work and i can lay in my bed all day and get trashed by my god damn self, nobody telling me what to do, how to live... nobody telling me to put my cigarette out, nobody to pass the blunt to, nobody bitching about who threw down on the trees. i just want to get rich by faking a freak accident, so i can be considered legally insane, and get checks.
why did i post this here?
all that needs to be said
this i agree with.
and honestly i think that life is shit, no matter who you are or what your doing with it (i think it was peeintheshower that said something about old rich people) because they must hate their lives, having fuck all to do all day? seriously.
edit: question: any of you here got like mental illnesses? cause like yeah, suicidal ideation is a symtom of alot of mental illnesses.
Such an inspiring quote.
It also takes more effort. God it's easier being lazy.
I've been through a lot of shit for a 17 year old kid in this past year. First I lost my mother to breast cancer. Ever since that my dad started taking his alcoholism to a different level. Basically I've felt sometimes that I lost both of my parents on the day my mom died. On top of that my brother is also an alcoholic and he drank alot more after her death. Our whole family is just falling apart over time. I get so depressed every day and sometimes i feel that theres no hope and that I am gonna feel like this forever but thats not even realistic. People just have to know that there will be a time that you feel better. The hard part is being patient...
This kinda contradicts alot of the shit I've said in this thread but I was thinking today. The things in my life that I love and are fun, few as they are. None of that will happen if I'm dead. Even with all the horrible things, there's only one life to be lived and you will never get to experience it ever again. So live for what you DO love, and work at making a better future.
life is complete fucking shit right now, i just want to fast forward when im alone and working in my major in some place far from here. I'll get a dog and that'll keep me company.
but those old people were probably miserable as fuck, busting their ass all their lives so that they might be able to enjoy themselves one day.
And now they're miserable as fuck as senile, crippled, ancient, fuckless elderly people, on their last leg, spending the majority of their live-savings on medical bills and trying to understand why their grandkids don't call.
Fuck all that. I remember hearing a quote once, "I'm not afraid of dying, I'm afraid of living"
Isn't that the truth. You work your ass off, do what everyone else wants you to do, then you get old, and fucking die. Welcome to life. If I didn't change my life situation so often, I'd have surely killed myself by now. I never keep a job long, I like the variety, the change. I've been couch-surfing since I was 15, and keep moving.
i hear that ^^ been homeless for a grip. i travel around. and props to what vagrant said. my girlfriend passed almost exactly two years ago due to suicide and not to be preachy but a good friend told me basically you just gotta stand up keep steppin and keep ya chin up kid. words of motivation to all the cats that get down on themselves: the sun always shines another day. quite cliche but it's the truth.
this right here is some fucked up shit,sorry to hear about all that man.Just go fucking murder your whole city i cant imagine the amount of damage ill cause the day my mom dies,my grandmother passed recently and that was hard enough,keep your head up homie ur still mad young u got alot of shit to look foward to in life, man even if u dont see it now but u will one day
See, now here is the thing to me. This is the only thread I've read that has been filled with mostly positive messages. Why is it that we tend to hate on each other and tear each other down? Vagrant referred to writers as a set of outcasts. Doesn't it make sense for us to stick together and hold each other up? Most forums I've been involved with, I've walked away because of all the negativity. Don't let Bombing Science be like that.
Veterans - help toys improve, they need it.
Toys - introduce people to graffiti, reach out to people graff can help.
That's my soapbox statement.
Graffiti's not an anti-depressant. Have you looked into this culture at all? It's more likely to GET you killed. There is nothing but negativity that comes from graffiti. If anything, it'll make you more depressed. You literally get nothing out of illegal graf, positively, other than a feeling of accomplishment on some level. Otherwise, entirely BAD things will happen to you. You'll blow your money, fuck up your criminal record (Which fucks up job opportunities), get locked up, risk your life, get caught in heat, get your ass beat/jumped/murdered wcs, get hate and nothing but insults from people who don't suck. Shit. People are positive in this thread because:
a) BS has a few people who don't front and act like they're something they're not, and human up once in a while. Or at least a few of them come here on occasion to drop that fisade.
b) They'll get banned for being dicks in this thread.
I could sit here and write you a book about my life story (Which I have seriously considered doing) but I really don't have the patients.
So, reader's digest version:
Mom: dipped to LA with some dude, left dude, went to missouri with different dude.
Dad: Left Babyrots at grandparents' house for a night while he 'went to the hospital'
Grandparents: Welfare check for babyrots = $$$$$$$$$
Babyrots turns into: Toddler Rots
Toddler Rots: Molested by trashy black neighbor.
Toddler turns into: Growing Rots. Evolve to: Teenage Rots
Teenage Rots: Moves the fuck out at fifteen in favor of couch surfing, must escape psychotic grandmother.
Grandmother: Whore (literally, sells ass), sociopath, lacks ability to care for anyone other than herself. Does not care if Rots leaves, so long as she still gets welfare check (Must continue to use her home address)
Teenage Rots: Alcoholism
Teenage Rots: Coke
Teenage Rots: Graffiti
Teenage Rots: Living in cemetery
Teenage Rots: Couch surfs way from San Diego, to Kansas
Teenage Rots: Couch Surfs to Missouri
Teenage Rots: Evolves into: Young-Adult Rots
Young-Adult-Rots: Meets Mother
Young-Adult-Rots: Couch surfing Kansas City
If I took the time to explain the ways every single person I'd ever been in contact with, fucked my shit all over in ways deemed inhuman, most of you would probably send me things to kill myself WITH. This ^ Is a tip of a long, deep, cold, disgusting ice berg, and actually, most of this is the HIGH points in my life, by comparison to some shit, I can't even talk about on a public forum.
Rots, I have no idea the type of pain and hardship you have experienced in your life, but I can't help but tell you to try and see the silver lining.
I am a super positive person, and still feel that even if life sucks, there are still moments of beauty hidden in the shit.
And maybe writing a book is a good idea. It gives you something to work for would make an amazing story, no matter how you spun the tale.
If you ever find yourself in Wisconsin and need somewhere to sleep, eat, or hang out, just let me know.
I'll provide the booze.
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