Hey, you guys... Does the name Pavlov ring a bell...? ** thanks... no really... quit it... you're too kind **
What'd the scarecrow win an emmy for? Out standing in his field. had a friend tell me this one. "What gear were you in when the accident occurred?" "I was in my fresh ass nikes, and a fitted hat."
I remember my grandpa used to tell me this one when I was a kid... There's a lot of money in this world that's tainted. It taint yours. And it taint mine.
Here's a tl;dr one for you guys. Mr. String walks into a bar to get a drink. The bartender tells Mr. String, "Get out, we don't serve strings here!" So Mr. String goes outside looking all sad, then accidentally bumps into Mr. Comb. Mr. Comb asks, "Mr. String, why do you look so sad?" Mr. String replies, "I wanted a drink, but the bartender said he doesn't serve strings!" So Mr. Comb combs out Mr. Strings head, and ties him up, and tells Mr. String to go back and ask for a drink. The bartender, angry, says, "I thought I told you, we don't serve strings!" And Mr. String replies, "I'm a frayed knot!" And of course, A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "Why the long face?" A Jew walks into a bar. It hurt. A baby seal walks into a club.
Two guys sitting at a bar, chatting about dogs, and trying to out-do each other: 1st guy : ''I taught my dog to read.'' 2nd guy : ''I know. My dog told me that yesterday.